Lustful Paradise

Chapter 55: Do You Think I'm At Fault?

'It's not the time to think about such things right now,' Vivian told herself as she shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

She needed to focus on what was important at the moment, and that was comforting Gwen and making sure that her daughter was alright. And so she walked towards Gwen's bedroom door, knocking on it.

"Gwen, please let me in." Vivian said in a gentle voice. "I know you're hurt and angry right now, but we should talk about it. Don't keep it inside of you, or you'll just end up feeling worse in the end."

She waited patiently for her, hoping that Gwen would respond soon. But, after several moments, there was no answer.

'She won't talk to me?' Vivian felt hurt as she pressed her ear against the door.

At first, she didn't hear anything, but then she heard muffled sobs coming from inside the room, followed by sniffling. She knew that Gwen was crying, and it pained her heart to think about what her daughter might be going through at this moment.

'Oh, my poor baby...' Vivian thought to herself as sadness washed over her. She then knocked harder on the door again. "Gwen! I won't leave you alone until you let me in!"

Once again, there was no answer from within the room. Vivian began to worry about what was happening on the other side of the door, but soon enough, she heard footsteps approaching, followed by a soft click as the door opened up to reveal a tear-stained face staring back at her with red, puffy eyes.

"Come in..." Gwen mumbled in a weak voice as she stepped aside to let Vivian into the bedroom.

As soon as she entered, Vivian wrapped her arms around her daughter, pulling her into a tight embrace. She held her close for several moments before letting go and taking Gwen's hands in her own, giving them a gentle squeeze.

"Come, let's sit down on the bed and talk." Vivian said, leading her to the bed and making her sit on it. She then sat down next to her daughter, who was still sobbing quietly.

"There, there... It's okay, sweetie. Don't cry anymore, and try to calm down first." Vivian whispered in a soft voice as she rubbed Gwen's back. "Everything will be fine, I promise."

After a while, Gwen stopped crying and began to regain control over her emotions, wiping away the tears from her face with the back of her hand, though they continued to flow down her cheeks no matter how hard she tried to stop them.

She was still shaking slightly as she looked up at Vivian with a sad expression, and the pain in her eyes was evident in her every move and gesture.

"Mom... what should I do?" Gwen murmured as she struggled to speak, her voice quivering as she tried to contain her sorrow. "I don't know if I can handle this... I'm so confused...

I don't understand why he would do this to me... How could he cheat on me like this?!"

She then broke down and began sobbing again, burying her face in Vivian's chest as her tears wetted her clothes.

Vivian wrapped her arms around Gwen, holding her close while stroking her hair. She remained silent, waiting for Gwen to calm down and continue speaking, knowing that her daughter would feel better once she expressed everything that was bothering her right now.

After a while, Gwen managed to stop crying and raised her head, looking straight at Vivian with teary eyes, her lips trembling as she tried to speak again. "Do you... think I'm at fault?"

"What do you mean by that? Wasn't he the one who cheated on you? How can it be your fault? Or am I missing something here?

Wait a minute... You were quite restless tonight... Did something else happen between you two before this?" Vivian was taken aback by this sudden question, not expecting Gwen to say something like that, and she stared at her in confusion.

"I... We had a little quarrel yesterday. You see, there were many girls who flirted with him after his match, even while I was by his side. And when I told him that these girls shouldn't act like that, he said it was because of my own attitude.

He said that everyone knows about my beliefs about no intimacy before marriage, which is why they don't take me seriously as his girlfriend." Gwen hiccupped as she tried to continue explaining.

"But that's not true! I just wanted to save myself until our wedding night, but he didn't seem to care about my beliefs at all and asked if my beliefs were more important than our relationship." She then began sobbing again. "I love him, mom.

I love him so much that it hurts when I see him kiss another woman on TV."

Vivian remained silent for a moment before she cursed in anger, surprising Gwen with her rare display of irritation. "Damn it. I knew it wasn't a good idea to let you follow your father's beliefs."

"W-what?" Gwen asked with a bewildered look. "What do you mean?"

However, Vivian didn't answer and continued to speak, this time in a more composed tone. "But I thought it would keep you safe from the perverted boys your age, so I allowed him to teach you his stupid beliefs. However, it looks like I was wrong, and now you're suffering from this because of me.

I'm sorry, Gwen."

"What are you talking about, Mom?" Gwen questioned again, not understanding what Vivian was getting at.

"Listen to me carefully, Gwen," Vivian said as she held Gwen by her shoulders, looking at her straight in the eyes with a serious expression. "Your father's beliefs about no intimacy before marriage are nothing but nonsense, a load of rubbish.

I want you to know that you have to do what you feel is right and not let anyone tell you what you should do or what is wrong or right. I also want you to know that there is nothing wrong with being intimate with someone you love, and you should not feel guilty for it at all."

Gwen's eyes widened in shock as she listened to Vivian's words. She could hardly believe what she was hearing from her own mother's lips, as this went against everything her father had taught her so far.

"But... But Dad always said that intimacy should only happen between married couples! If I'm not mistaken, he even said that doing it before marriage is a sin." Gwen said, trying to argue against what Vivian just told her, not wanting to believe that her father had lied to her all this time.

Yet Vivian just shook her head and gave her a wry smile. "Then what would you do if you didn't get that said intimacy after some time of your marriage?"

"What... what do you mean?"

"Well, let me tell you something about your father that I never told anyone. You see, we didn't get intimate until our marriage due to his beliefs. And I accepted it since I thought he was just being romantic and wanted to wait for it."

She then let out a sad sigh, her expression turning sorrowful. "But everything changed after your birth... I thought it would be the same as before, but I was wrongvery wrong. It turned out that he had lost his ability to perform his duties as a husband during the pregnancy period.

That's why we stopped having sex after that."

"What?! But... I'm nineteen! That means you haven't had any in nineteen years?" Gwen was flabbergasted upon hearing Vivian's story.

"Yes, it has been a very long time since the last time your father touched me. Anyways, you should have realized by now what I was trying to tell you, Gwen."

"I don't know, Mom... We still saw him kissing another woman on TV. How can I just ignore it and accept it like that?"

Gwen replied after a while. She looked down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers as she spoke, unsure of what she should do.

Vivian nodded her head, as she also found that unacceptable, but suddenly she remembered something. "Didn't you just say that it was on TV? Are you sure that was real and not an act?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" Gwen asked.

"It means what I said. What if that wasn't real and was an act for an ad? You do know that even many married actors kiss other actors to film some romantic scenes, right? So how can you be so sure that it was real?"

"You mean that... he might not have cheated on me? That he was just acting in that ad?" Gwen looked up at Vivian in surprise, her eyes glistening with renewed hope and optimism.

"Yes, I'm not saying that for sure, but you should find out before jumping to conclusions, or else you'll regret it later. You know what they saydon't shoot the messenger." Vivian replied with a slight shrug of her shoulders. "It's your decision.

Whatever you want to do, I will support you, no matter what. Don't forget that I am your mother, and I will always love you. So, you don't have to hesitate to ask for my advice and support if needed. But in the end, it's all up to you.

I can't make this decision for you."

Gwen thought about it for a few moments before making her decision and smiling at Vivian. "Thanks, Mom. I know what I'm going to do now."

"Good. Just remember, you need to follow your heart and not some stupid beliefs." Vivian smiled as she stroked Gwen's hair.