Martial King's Retired Life

Volume 5 2 Irrelevant Stuff That Serves to Confuse. The Fuck You Smiling About?

Volume 5 Chapter 2 Irrelevant Stuff That Serves to Confuse. The Fuck You Smiling About?

I took a massive detour. After ensuring that nobody was following me, I found a corner to revert back to my normal appearance.

Princess Jingan’s appearance nearly scared me to death.

She should be far away on Holy Purple Mountain praying to some god, deity, whatever, yet she suddenly appeared in the capital, not to mention the fact that she was at Jing Wangsun’s abode.

My relationship with her goes so far back that I can’t make sense of it with words, so I won’t go into detail here.

The important part is that when I was about to beat the pussy Jin Wangsun’s face in, Princess Jingan’s sudden involvement changed the circumstances. I can’t allow her to recognise me, because once she does, it’ll be worse than being recognised by the Emperor.

‘If she plans to back Jin Wangsun, should I just drop out to avoid being recognised by her, take back just Night Fortress and call it quits?’

‘Princess Hongzhuang doesn’t want to marry Jin Wangsun, though. That, too, is…’

‘There’s Shiyi, too!’

‘Shiyi didn’t mind taking on the name Juese to come up with a way to contact me and screw Jin Wangsun over. She’s very enthusiastic about kicking naughty boy Jin Wangsun’s ass back to the former patriarch of Gold and Silver Set for him to give him a stern teaching, as well as his fiancée.’

‘If I go along with Princess Jingan’s wishes, Princess Hongzhuang will be unhappy. She might even feel despondent for the rest of her life.’

I thought about how the heroic and suave Princess would be forced into marrying someone like Jin Wangsun.

That thought was an emotional roadblock for me.

‘If I marry the Princess, however… would Shiyi spare me?!! Shiyi will be heartbroken, and then she’ll sink into despair, and then she’ll perish with my wife, won’t she?!’

‘I knew it, there’s truth to the saying: beauties are the root of trouble!’

‘All three beauties have come together, while I don’t want to offend any of them. What in the world do I do?!’

I got changed, and then lazily roamed the streets by using my qingggong to leap buildings, flip over walls and so forth to get home.iu Shan Man’s main courtyard was beginning to get busy at this hour. The duties we have to perform daily are beyond cumbersome while Boss is absent.

‘It seems that today will be another very busy day.’

While my usual duties are just strolling around on the streets for patrol duty and reporting cases to other constables when I discover any, nobody calls me a constable. Big fish eat smaller fish; smaller fish eat shrimp.’

I checked to ensure that there was nobody around then gently pushed the door to my room open and entered. The room was the same as when I left it. It’s unlikely anybody came. It’s reasonable, though. Boss isn’t here, so there’s nobody to pester me into attending meetings.

A mass of killing intent shot over!

I subconsciously went to dodge, but then I realised who the killing intent belonged to. I was, consequently, left with no choice but to obediently surrender.

Princess Hongzhuang jumped out from the deeper part of the room and grabbed my collar with one hand.

“Your Highness?”

“Shut up!”

The Princess shouted at me in a muffled voice, then pulled me over to the bed, then pulled the bed curtain down with her slender hand.

‘Wh-What is she doing?’

I was suddenly pulled over onto the bed by the Princess. While the bed was mine, we were in an enclosed environment once the curtains were pulled down. I could smell the fragrance on her body, which went perfectly with her beautiful face.

I suddenly thought of a tagline to use in the Black and White Reflection: A man and the Princess shared a bed for two hours in the middle of the day. The two hours were kept under tight wraps. Nobody knows what happened.

‘Oh sh*t! That’s as bad as it gets!’

While I was busy having nonsensical thoughts, the Princess looked at my face, and then gifted me two slaps.

I was slapped silly, but the Princess looked serious.

“I thought you were an upright man. You hail from a reputable orthodox sect. What did you do to me yesterday?”

I was a bit out of it, since I just saw Princess Jingan, so I didn’t quite catch what Princess Hongzhuang meant. Instead, I was occupied with comparing the two sisters.

Upon closer inspection, Princess Hongzhuang is quite similar to Princess Jingan. Needless to say, they both bear a striking resemblance to the Emperor.

Though their biological mothers are different, and therefore have many minor differences, such as the Emperor’s face shape being more rectangular, Princess Hongzhuang having a cool and beautiful melon-shaped face, while Jingan has a beautiful oval-shaped face, with a single glance, you’ll notice similarities that you can’t put your finger on.

Princess Hongzhuang doesn’t look imposing unless she’s angry. The moment she looks down, she looks as if she’s a sulking kid. As for Jingan, she looks similar when she’s silent. The difference is one is cooler, while the other is fiery, I guess.

The Princess looked at my spaced-out look and fumed, “What do you have to say in your defence?”

I still didn’t comprehend why she was angry. In an unjustly blamed tone, I replied, “Your Highness, you should give me an explanation for hitting me… It was not because you could not get accustomed to sleeping on my bed, was it?”

Things weren’t catastrophic until I responded. The moment I mentioned the bed was the moment I struck the wrong nerve. Her face went red. She firmly bit down on her lip and ruthlessly exclaimed, “Ming Feizhen! You have yourself a death wish!”

She raised her hand up and threw an extremely swift attack with her palm. It resembled a palm strike, but in actual fact, was a hand knife technique. The difference between it and a palm technique is that when augmented with inner energy, the knife hand will be the same as a real blade slashing with a refined sabre or broadsword technique.

The knife hand attack went straight toward my throat in the form of a blade. I wanted to dodge the attack; however, I had limited space to move, and hence countering was impossible. The Princess is a veteran of the pugilistic world. Her experience doesn’t pale in comparison to her father that lives in the palace. I was afraid that if blocked it head on, then it would give away clues to my identity. Consequently, I had no choice but to take the hit. In order to avoid revealing anything, I erased the layer of qi I had shielding my body and used just Tai Chi Mental Cultivation alone to provide myself with true qi. Nevertheless, I was going to have to put up with some physical pain.

There was no doubt that the Princess’ palm strike was thrown out of anger; but nonetheless, out of fear of killing me with it, she reduced the amount of strength she put into it when it landed, thereby only knocking me back and hurting my throat.

After she hit me, she firmly pressed her palm onto my throat. She could shatter all of my organs and send me to the paradise we call heaven if she just unleashed a burst of energy…

‘Okay, I admit to making that up.’

In saying that, if it was somebody else, the Princess would be able to leave him, at least, half dead if she actually unleashed a burst of energy. Thus, this was a very threatening position to be in.

The Princess angrily glared at me. Traces of blood became visible in her eyes, “I thought that you were a respectable gentleman despite your usual nonsensical behaviour. I never thought that you would use an aphrodisiac in a candle last night to… to…”

Once she got to that part, the Princess became so enraged that her entire body began to shake. Her breasts began to rise and fall with her huffs and puffs while her eyes figuratively shot fire.

I finally realised where the problem was.

‘Damn, I’m stupid!! How did I not realise something so simple?’

Those who consume Five Plucks Heart Enchantment Pill may go wild when the drug’s effects take effect, but afterwards, they’ll remember every single detail while they were under its influence.

I hastily explained that somebody tried to set us up.

‘If I was the one up to no good, how could I have ended it with just a kiss? I left for so long to search for the culprit.’

I spent ages explaining it, only to learn that the Princess didn’t care about the culprit. Instead, she fired back at me, “Wh-Who said you only kissed me?!”

‘Hmm? Could she have recalled how she threw herself at me last night…? I’m innocent! I didn’t do nothing! Even if I did kiss, it was you that forced a kiss on me!’

The Princess raged, “You still dare claim you didn’t do anything?!”

‘Okay, I admit there was a bit of a mistake in there.’

I admit that during the chaos, I might have touched the two… lots of places I should’ve have touched… Okay, I give. I touched everything there was to touch.

‘But that was due to you grabbing hold after my hand and making me feel you after the drug kicked in! It wasn’t me practicing my Eighteen Subduing Dragon Gropes!’

The Princess furiously glared at me due to me feeling her up yesterday.

I looked at her teary eyes, yet stern expression. I couldn’t resist smiling.

‘I stole your first kiss, and I took advantage of you, yet you held back when you hit me…? You’re such a nice girl, Your Highness…’

‘Can I let such a nice girl fall into Jin Wangsun’s grasp?’

‘Rest assured. I’ll help you with the Fuma candidate selection.’

Unfortunately, when I had the kind thought, I took another slap to the face.

I held my hand to my face and looked at the Princess with disbelief, “Why did you hit me again? Did I not explain it already?!”

“You can still find it in you to smile after what you did…?”

On this rare occassion, the Princess used profanity, “Keep smiling, keep smiling, the fuck you smiling about?!”