Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Chapter 560: Life and Death

Hui gritted his teeth, frustrated. I’m missing something. But what? What do I need to do…?

I’ve never been able to combine life and death inside me without the two negating one another, and yet, phoenix fire seems to inherently combine the two, as if there’s no difficulty in combining them at all. Is it the fire aspect? I’ve never had much karma with fire. I’ve had plenty of karma with my foes using fire against me, but using it myself? I did have the housecat fire talisman, but I wasn’t any better at using it than any other talisman. Meanwhile, Gui Delun approached fire as the first step to understanding life qi, and Han Qin… well, he was the disciple of this woman, or something. Somehow involved with her.

Gui Delun used fire as an approach to life qi. Could it be? Are fire and life qi inextricably linked, the beginner and the advanced form of the same energy, and I merely… accidentally took the expert course without having discovered the beginner course?

He pressed his lips together. When I think about Master’s approach to teaching… I can’t say it’s impossible.

He looked at the woman. Inspiration flickered in his eyes. She has life and death qi within her. If I can experience her existence, won’t I experience what it’s like to have life and death qi coexist inside me without any separation? Once I experience it, I’ll easily be able to understand how to accomplish it myself! Or, rather, it’s a good first step to take on the road to comprehension. Examples are always important for learning, always important!

But… to experience an existence like hers, constantly cycling between life and death…

Her life is unstable, but the life and death qi inside her appear stable. Something else is going wrong. Something… that might mean that though life and death qi can coexist, it can’t happen inside a cultivator. Or something that might mean she’s merely had a qi deviation, and it’s entirely possible.

I can’t find out without syncing with her.

Hui took a deep breath.

The flames died. Ashes dropped to the bottom of the barrier.josei

If anyone can mentally survive the experience of being eternally trapped in a cycle of life and death, it’s me. I have to believe in my mental resilience. Believe in myself!

Believe in… myself…

No, no. That’s a fool’s act. It’s absolutely foolish! I’m a small cultivator who can’t accomplish anything. I—

The ashes reformed, becoming a fetus. Hui flinched. I have to do it now. Now, or she’ll light on fire, and it’ll be too late.

I’m mentally resilient. I can do this.

I’m mentally resilient, for this world’s standards. Can anyone survive that kind of experience?

If I can’t, my children die.

Hui scowled. Am I going to let this stop me? This, which tests my one strength, my mental resilience? No! I refuse! I’m a coward, but backing down from this is too much!

Settling his mind, he reached out with his thread and touched the infant. Before it could destroy his thread or refuse the connection, he threw himself inside. Sync. Connect. I need to know!

The world swirled around him. He lost track of his orientation, of up and down, of the way forward and the way back. Sinking into the thread, he fell into the infant before him.

Darkness. Heat. Confusion. The infant twitched, shifting slightly.

Hui let out a breath. It’s not as bad as I—

A thousand screams. Words he barely understood, flooding into his mind. Emotions charged after the words, overwhelming him. Anger. Fury. Frustration. Loss. Fear. Despair. Hui struggled, fighting against the tide, but it smashed into him and dragged him down. He plummeted, sucked into the depths. Fire burned through his mind, tearing him apart.

Shit! Play dead—!

Hui went limp, and the raging fire passed over him. The emotions, the pain, the agony, they surged into him and overpowered him, and nothing remained. He became nothing but another of thousands of voices, all screaming out, howling alongside the flames.

Let me go.

Burn! Burn to death!

I’m so tired.

Why? WHY!

Father, mother! Help!

Kill her! KILL HER!

I want to die I want to die

Stop! I won’t let you!

death death death death death death

It hurts it hurts someone help please help

Help.

The flames burned hotter and hotter. The woman’s body grew, and so too did the flames. The entire orb broiled. Hui’s thread of qi burned up, and the barrier closed over.

--

In a distant space, hidden away in an entirely different small realm enclosed outside the three main realms, Han Qin’s eyes snapped open. He sat upright, gripping the arms of his throne.

“That sensation. It can’t be. He couldn’t have—”

He sat back in his chair, letting out a harrumph. “No. It’s impossible. I must be sensing a flare-up of the fire I put into his soul. After all, he’s dead. Or rather… he was. Perhaps he’s been reborn, and that’s the surge I’m sensing.”

Closing his eyes and folding his legs, Han Qin rested his fingertips together and circulated his qi, entering a meditative state. An orb of phoenix fire burned in the center of his arced fingers, circulating slowly in time with his qi. He frowned. His brows furrowed, and the frown turned into a scowl. “It can’t be. I refuse…”

A phoenix appeared out of the orb of phoenix fire. With a sharp cry, it took to the air, winging forth for a mere moment before it drooped back into the flame.

Han Qin’s eyes flew open, bloodshot. He slammed his hand down on the arm of his throne, straining almost upright from sheer tension. “How? How!”

His hand curled into a fast. He stepped from his throne, every step heavy, every gesture laden with long-denied desire. His hands shook, and his knees trembled.

A smile spread across his lips. Worshipfully, he whispered, “He found her.”