Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Chapter 626: Beautiful People Think They Have it All

Jizhi Zhimei threw her veil away.

Hui instantly looked away, squeezing his eyes shut. Nooo! I won’t look! Cultivators go mad from a mere look! Even gazing upon her means losing my mind and becoming her servant. I won’t, I won’t do it!

A cold hand gripped his chin with an iron grasp and wrenched his face forward. Qi claws pulled at his eyelids, yanking them open.

“Now, now. You’re being terribly rude to a beautiful lady,” Jizhi Zhimei simpered. She fluttered her lashes at him, smiling slowly.

Hui stared, his eyes wide. Her smile glowed like the setting sun. Her eyes glittered like gems. Not a flaw marred her silky, jade-white skin. A perfect nose tapered over soft, plump lips in a perfect, kissable pink. She smiled, and Hui’s world went blank.

But only for a moment. In the next, Hui frowned faintly, quickly hiding the expression inside himself. Huh? She’s only this beautiful? She barely looks better than those K-pop models with their plastic surgery. Honestly, I prefer Bai Xue’s female appearance. She certainly isn’t perfect, no, but she’s close enough, and not so incredibly beautiful that it… I don’t know. It’s almost off-putting, to some degree? Like seeing a video game character with perfect, polished proportions. There is no flaw, and so, that becomes a flaw. The eye searches for some element of humanity and finds none, and failing that, the beauty becomes alien, impossible, incomprehensible.

Hui shook his head internally. These cultivators, so mentally fragile! Ah, I suppose they didn’t grow up being fed plastic-surgery-enhanced celebrities, photoshopped models, and impossibly beautiful video game characters. If I hadn’t seen those, perhaps I would have fallen to her charms. Instead… well, she’s beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but… it’s not at the level of falling-down-at-her-feet-drooling, no longer able to handle the world, permanently lost to cultivation.

Pushing his mental energy outward, Hui disguised his thoughts, masking them behind his seventh-tier mental energy. On the surface, he put out a veneer of empty, lightweight thoughts, quickly calling one of the clones’ mental states forth to think happy, nonsense thoughts on the surface. Jizhi Zhimei could read my thoughts even with this, since she’s ninth stage and I’m only seventh. I’m relying on her not trying. As long as I do this, I should be able to disguise my thoughts behind exactly what she expects to see from a second-stage cultivator charmed by her beauty, and thus, she won’t truly attempt to read my thoughts.

Thanks to that, she’ll miss my true mental state, and I’ll make off like a bandit, concealing my thoughts without having the mental energy or strength to actually stave off a ninth-stage cultivator.

In the background, Voice cowered, turning her back to the scene. Hui internally sighed at her. Elder Sister… it’s not that bad. Really, it isn’t. josei

In any case, I shouldn’t let Jizhi Zhimei know what I immediately overcame her ultimate move. Right, so… let’s play along! Since I’m in control, but she thinks I’m brainwashed, this should be easy. All I have to do is appear to perfectly cooperate, while not fully telling the truth.

Easy enough. Let’s see what she wants to know!

“Tell me. Am I beautiful?” Jizhi Zhimei asked.

“Yes…” Hui said, letting his words drag out. He unfocused his eyes and gazed into the middle distance, then reconsidered and quickly latched his eyes onto Jizhi Zhimei’s face instead. I’m supposed to be entranced by her appearance, so I should act like it! She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, yes… gaze into those eyes of hers, yes…

I mean, she could be far less attractive. At least I have to stare at something easy on the eyes.

Jizhi Zhimei smiled. “Good. Now then… you were dead seconds ago, no?”

Okay. Quickly now, Hui! How am I going to handle this one?

I can’t deny it. For one, Tseng Caihong confirmed it. For another, she’s ninth stage. She knows I was dead. Lying about that is stupid.

But obviously I’m not going to tell her the truth either. For one, no one, Tseng Caihong included, has seen through my phoenix-flames-slash-Underworld-ownership combination. I’d be a fool to hand it out to Jizhi Zhimei now. That’s assuming, of course, that she even believes it!

Then, the question becomes… what on earth do I tell her?

Think, Hui, think! What can I use as an excuse? My favorite novels back home… surely there’s something! A classic trope…! What do the protagonists say in these situations?

“Revival… artifact,” Hui muttered at last.

Immediately, he screamed in his mind. Ahhh! A revival artifact? Revival artifacts are one-time-use, almost always one-time-use! What revival artifact do I have, that I’ve used twice already? Or does this tiny second-stage cultivator have two revival artifacts, hmm? Ahh, what a stupid thing to do!

Jizhi Zhimei frowned beautifully. “A revival artifact…?”

“Uhm, m, multiple… multiple artifacts,” he stuttered. Fuuuuck! I don’t know! Don’t look at me like that! I’m just bullshitting! I really don’t know, Elder Sister!

“Multiple… how rich is the Southern Sect Conference?” Jizhi Zhimei murmured thoughtfully. A second later, she frowned deeper. “That can’t be right. Not even the Southern Sect Conference is that rich. Revival artifacts are almost impossible to come across.”

No, no, no, think, Hui, think! A consistent story. A good, consistent story.

Revival artifacts are impossible to come by? Okay. Good information. I guess I haven’t seen any until now, and even Gui Delun didn’t revive, so I suppose revival is extremely expensive or difficult in this world.

It doesn’t seem that way to me, but… I’m a strange little bug.

Right, so they’re expensive… but I’m a kid! Kids can lie. Tell stupid stories. Let’s… let’s go with that!

Hui blinked slowly. He nodded. “Lots and lots of revival artifacts… All of them. I have so many…”

Voice chuckled from the corner. “Is he trying to impress you? That’s adorable.”

Jizhi Zhimei waved her hand. “Tell me the truth, child. That will make me happier than any pretty story.”

“The truth.” Hui’s eyes shone as if he understood something, while he understood nothing at all. Come on…. Come on! Think!

“Yes. The truth. How can you return from death?” Jizhi Zhimei asked, tilting her head.

“I… I what? I don’t understand.” Hui furrowed his brows, feigning ignorance. I’m just a kid. I don’t understand what’s going on. Yes? Come on, let me have this!

Jizhi Zhimei sighed. She beckoned to the Voice. “If he doesn’t know, then we’ll have to ask his body.”

Eh? I’m a child! You monster! Don’t touch my precious body! Hui backed away, eyes big.

“Bring the pliers, the three-size knives, and the splitter,” Jizhi Zhimei ordered, businesslike.

Holy fuck! ‘Ask my body’ as in torture me! I know what that means. And I’m not about to let that happen! Hui coughed. “Ah, my immortality? That’s right, that’s right. I remember.”

Jizhi Zhimei paused. She turned back to Hui, smile returning. “What is it? You can tell me. I’m your friend.”

Like hell you are. Externally, Hui beamed, nodding eagerly. I can’t think of anything, so let’s go with the Bai Xue explanation! “It’s my bloodline!”

“Your bloodline gives you immortality?” Jizhi Zhimei asked, confused. “What kind of godlike bloodline…”

“Godlike? Not at all, Elder Sister. I come from a…” Hui paused for a moment. In cultivation terms, what would this be? Uhm… wood qi! That’s it. “…a wood-qi-elemental bloodline. One of my ancestors was a plant spirit beast. You can consider me as a human-plant-beast hybrid. Even when my human vital signals end, as long as my plant root isn’t also extinguished, I can survive.”

Jizhi Zhimei squinted at him. “You don’t appear to be part plant.”

Hui held his hand out, circulating his plant body cultivation technique as he did. His skin took on a greenish sheen, and a few leaves sprouted from his arm. “I usually hide it. After all, it would be disadvantageous if an enemy discovered the nature of my ability to return from the seeming dead. But… but I can trust Elder Sister, right?” Hui turned big, innocent eyes on Jizhi Zhimei.

She smiled, gently patting his head. “You can trust me.”

Internally, Hui bristled. Only Bai Xue and Li Xiang can touch my head! Externally, he smiled and closed his eyes, pretending to enjoy it.

“Is that really all? Tseng Caihong couldn’t see through that?” Voice asked.

Jizhi Zhimei harrumphed. “You’ve listened to her drivel too long. She has eyes that can see anything, not everything. If she isn’t looking for it or doesn’t know what to look for, she can be fooled as easily as everyone else.”

Aha, just as I thought. Good, good. It’s good that Jizhi Zhimei and I have come to the same conclusion independently. It doesn’t mean we’re both right, but it certainly makes it more likely! Hui nodded to himself.

Standing, Jizhi Zhimei walked to the corner, picked up her veil, and put it back on. She lifted her hand toward Hui. “Voice, leave. I’ll wipe his mind, so that he won’t be reduced to a sniveling mess. Not everyone is as strong against my charms as you yourself are.” Turning, she glanced under her eyelashes at Hui. “He’s fortunate his cultivation is so low. Any higher, and it would become too difficult for me to wipe his mind without destroying it.”

“Yes, madame.” Saluting, Voice turned and left the room.

Hui’s eyes widened. She’s going to wipe my mind? Oh no! Quickly… how to I avoid that?

Wait, hold on, and if I’m higher-realm my mind gets destroyed? Fuck! I’ve made grave mistakes!