Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Chapter 649: The Chamber

“Well? What are you waiting for? Jump on in!” Shuhang Han said, gesturing him on enthusiastically, for all the world reminding Hui of the way his gym teachers used to smile before demanding he do a dozen pull-ups, the whole time knowing for sure he couldn’t do a single one.

Hui gazed into the darkness within the vault. One last time, he took a deep breath, circulating his qi in preparation. I can do this. I’m not that scrawny kid anymore. I’m a cultivator now! I’ve defeated men many times my age!

Through trickery and technique and playing dead, not through raw strength…

But, but, I’m secretly seventh stage! Surely I can overcome a trial meant for a low-realm cultivator. Confidence bolstered, Hui nodded to himself.

Sensing his hesitation, Shuhang Han thumped him on the back. “Worried? Don’t be! I know I also use this chamber--for training, not in trial mode, of course, but this chamber is a special space. It can sense the power of whoever enters it, and adjusts itself to match. No matter how weak you are, it will adjust itself to be as powerful as your cultivation level.”

Hui dug his heels in. “Er, excuse me?” Holy shit, holy shit! Fuck, fuck, fuck! It’ll adjust itself to destroy me perfectly, is that what he just said? No, no, no! And given that I’m suppressing my cultivation level, won’t it destroy me directly unless I release my cultivation level? But I can’t release my cultivation level where everyone can sense me… am I dead? Elder Sister Reaper, forgive me! josei

Shuhang Han leaned in. “Oh, I get it. You’re worried we’ll steal your secrets?”

“Ah… yes!” Hui said, nodding.

“Don’t worry. No one can see inside that chamber. Excepting Tseng Caihong, perhaps, but she has better things to do than peep on us measly body cultivators. You can go as hard as you like inside. No need to be shy and hold back! Use your full potential to survive! Nothing like getting sweaty and fighting at your full strength, am I right?” Shuhang Han laughed and pushed Hui inside all at once, before Hui could dig his heels in again.

Hui stumbled into darkness. He whipped around, fast enough to watch the vault door eclipse the light behind him. “No, no, wait—” He reached for the door.

“Good luck, brother!” Shuhang Han shouted, and then the door slammed shut.

Hui bit his lip, hanging in pure darkness. He circulated back to his ordinary body, not sure how the trial would begin. Nothing moved around him. Nothing appeared. No pressure bore down on him. He floated in the void, waiting, trepidation building in his stomach. Fuck! I’ve fucked up. Ahhhh… at least I can happily use all my techniques in here. But I don’t want to! I don’t want to struggle and sweat! I’m not truly a body cultivator! I’m a fake, a fake! I take it all back! I’m a true beauty cultivator, yes, yes! Who cares if it’s girly? I can be a girl! It’s less painful. Less hard work! I’ll be a girl. Don’t crush this small bug here—

Light cut on, blinding him for a moment. He raised his hands instinctively. When the light faded, he found himself in a simple metal-walled room, with nothing at all to indicate the contents of the trial to come.

He dropped to the floor of the metal room, walking around. His footsteps clanged and echoed as he walked, echoing off the room’s smooth walls. The room stood a hundred meters tall and as many meters around. The floor and ceiling were flat, while the walls were round, the same as the round support pillar was without the chamber.

All the metal glistened, bright as stainless steel. Not a single carving decorated the walls. Instead, they remained simple and plain, nothing but shining steel in all directions.

Hui put a hand on his chin. The stainless steel panels, the round walls… it’s like I’m stuck in a UFO. It’s truly at odds with this world’s aesthetic. Huh. I wonder why it’s so plain? This world seems to enjoy ornamentation and carvings, and yet these walls are empty. Does it have something to do with the trial, perhaps?

Even as he thought it, a hum filled the air. The floor remained still, but the walls began to rotate around him.

Wary, Hui backed into the center of the room, his guard up. Hit me with your worst, trial! What are you going to do? Gravity? Pressure? What kind of cultivation technique are you going to blast me away with?

The floor beneath him clunked and dropped a few inches. The spinning walls began to close in, the silvery panels overlapping one another as they drew closer. As they overlapped, the panels turned their edges inward. Razor sharp blades appeared at their edges, pointing toward Hui.

Hui wrinkled his nose. What special cultivation room? You can’t fool me! This is just a fancy food processor! A human-sized food processor! Am I going to be julienned? Or maybe it’s more of a rough chop!

Ah, though I suppose my plant form is ideal for this space. After all, what matches better with a cultivator-sized food processor than a human-sized plant cultivator?

He swapped to his crystalized form, eyeing the blades as they closed in. Do those madmen really enter here with human bodies? Well, I suppose with cultivation, they can make their flesh as hard as steel and their skin as hard as rock… but even so! Isn’t this pure punishment? What benefit is it even meant to give out? I’d understand if it was a pressure or gravity trial, but… what does this do to help body cultivators? I don’t—

Pressure slammed down on his shoulders. Taken by surprise, Hui dropped directly to the floor as his knees gave out. He blinked.

Alright, never mind. I take it back. It’s a food processor with a push-stick, to make sure all the food doesn’t pile up too high and avoid the blades!

Body cultivators are all damn masochists. Prove otherwise! I’ll wait. You can’t.

I’ve taken some small steps on the path of body cultivation, but I’ll never be a true body cultivator since I can’t enjoy pain! No, no. My techniques are all about avoiding pain. Avoiding pain, that should be the true goal of body cultivators! Not finding new and fresh ways to inflict pain upon themselves. He eyed the walls as they closed in, shaking his head at all the body cultivators who had come before him.

Struggling against the pressure at his supposedly-fourth stage cultivation, Hui gritted his teeth. It really does adjust to one’s full power. Do I trust him? He said no one can see inside…

If I don’t, I’m going to be veggie-crystal-cultivator noodles soon! I have no desire to find out what that feels like!

Hui released his true cultivation. With some effort, Hui fought against the pressure and sat up, folding his legs into the lotus position. It isn’t too bad so far. It’s at a level that I can fight against, as long as I use my full strength. Those blades… He checked his body one last time, making sure he was in crystal form. As long as I’m in crystal form, the blades shouldn’t cut me. Maybe. Probably.

The walls closed in. The blades churned toward Hui’s skin. Tensing, Hui held his breath. I’ll be okay! I can take this! It… it probably won’t hurt!