Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Chapter 657: Mistaken Cultivation

Hui laid there, waiting for the other cultivators to wake up. I don’t have to wait the longest. Even though I was gassed last, I can simply explain that I received less of the gas, and use it to escape early. So all I have to do is wait for someone else to wake up.

Time passed slowly. Hui began actually dozing off. He jolted himself awake, peering around. Everyone’s still asleep? How long do I have to lie here…?

A shadow fell over him. Hui quickly played asleep again.

“Xi Sanji, have you brewed the antidote yet?” Wan Lu asked.

“I’m trying! I don’t know exactly what went wrong with the formula, so I’m not sure how to negate it. I’m working on it right now,” Xi Sanji assured him.

Wan Lu knelt and checked the pulse of one of the other cultivators. He pressed his lips together. “They’re deep asleep. At this rate, they might easily sleep for years.”

Hui stiffened. Years? I’ll have to play asleep for years? I’m devoted to the bit, I’m willing to play dead or asleep or whatever I need to get by, but I’m not going to stick it out for literal years! That’s far, far too long to pretend to sleep! I haven’t even settled down to cultivate for that long. If that’s my option, I’ll just escape while no one’s watching! Surely no one’s going to miss this small cultivator. Yes, yes. I’ll just wait, wait until they all look away, and then…

“There! I did it. Probably. Er… Who to test it on?” Xi Sanji rose up in Hui’s vision. He watched her through his lashes as she cast bubblegum-pink eyes across the gathered cultivators. Her eyes settled on him, and she smiled and walked over, lifting a vial of pitch-black fluid. “Good, he should do…”

Hui jerked awake. He sat up abruptly, looking around. “Ah! I must have gotten a light dose of the gas. I’m awake!”

Wan Lu frowned. He gave Hui a suspicious look. “Indeed…”

Hui ignored the look, pretending he saw nothing at all. You can be suspicious all you want, but I’m not drinking that thing. Who knows what it’ll do to us? Trying to make an aphrodisiac and landing on sleeping gas is bad enough. A wake-up antidote… who knows? Maybe we’ll never be able to sleep again! Not that cultivators need to sleep, but… still! It’s the principle of the thing.

Across the way, Xi Sanji gave him a disappointed look. “I thought you got plenty of the gas! You should still be asleep.”

Hui raised his brows. Is that a problem for Elder Sister?

She shook her head and pivoted to a nearby female cultivator. Casually, she tipped the maiden’s head back and poured the black fluid into her mouth. The cultivator choked, then swallowed on reflex.

Despite everything, all three of them stared intently at the female cultivator. For a few long beats, she laid there silently.

Abruptly, she jolted directly to her feet. Her eyes rolled back in her forehead, and she jittered in place, moving neither forward nor backward.

“Yay! She woke up!” Xi Sanji said, grinning.

“Er, Elder Sister, where are her pupils?” Hui pointed out.

Xi Sanji leaned in. She frowned. “Huh. Why are her eyes rolled back like that…? I only put in a few extra herbs to help counteract the powerful sleeping gas I used, she shouldn’t be—”

Wan Lu jumped forward. “What herbs did you put in? Xi Sanji, say it now!”

“Er, just a few wakefulness supplements. Mortal herbs. Red-black beans, white peony hearts, dried songbird leaves…”

“Red-black beans? Were they red-black beans, or were they Black-Red Seeds?” Wan Lu demanded.

Hui stared from one to the other, already lost. Eh? Is pill cultivation the kind of discipline where the difference between red-black and black-red means life and death? Unsuited, no wonder I’m unsuited! I can’t even remember half my magical techniques. Imagine, memorizing enough herbs to cultivate a single pill, let alone knowing the herbs required to make multiple types of pill, or worse, any pill at will! It can’t be done, it can’t be done! Not by this small cultivator!

Beside him, Xi Sanji’s brows furrowed. A flustered expression passed over her face, and she stepped forward, then back, forward, then spun and fled back toward her medicine box. She pawed through the multi-tier chest of drawers, throwing miraculous herbs left and right. Delicate blossoms piled up beside beast scales, thick roots flew to the wayside the same as hair-slender stamen threads. At last, she held two bottles: one of dried brown beans, the other of small black seeds.

Hui squinted at the first bottle. Hold on. Doesn’t that one look suspiciously like coffee beans? And she called it a mortal herb… Don’t tell me. Is she treating magical sleep with… caffeine?

Ah, I mean, I suppose there’s no reason it shouldn’t work, or couldn’t work, but is that really okay? Is it really okay to counter magical sleeping gas with coffee beans?

Hui eyed the blank-eyed cultivator still wavering in place beside him. Ah, you know what, on second thought… I’m going to go ahead and say it isn’t. Elder Sister over there does not look okay. Even if the concept might work, it certainly hasn’t been applied properly.

The female cultivator coughed again, loudly. Black fluid leaked from her eyes and nose. Cursing, Wan Lu lifted his hands and quickly pressed a dozen pressure points on her body, then put his palm to her dantian, forcibly circulating her qi. Black gunk oozed out of her orifices and pores, soiling her colorful robes. As the last of it oozed free, her knees gave out. She tumbled back to the floor, eyes closing in peace again.

Wan Lu caught the female cultivator and gently laid her on the ground beside the others. He took a moment to ensure she breathed evenly, then rounded on Xi Sanji. “You could have killed her! That kind of mistake is inexcusable. Xi Sanji, if it wasn’t for your father’s reputation, I’d expel you from the sect!”

Xi Sanji flinched back. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Tier Master! It won’t happen again!”

Wan Lu harrumphed. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep. I’ll send some of my direct disciples over to help.” With a flick of his robes, he marched off.

Xi Sanji bowed to his back. The second he passed out of sight, she straightened and stuck her tongue out at him. “Stinky old man. Smells like burned pills. What do you care?”

Hui raised his brows at her. He just saved that woman’s life after two of your mistakes. Can you really afford to say that?

Xi Sanji caught him looking and grinned. “Teehee! Hey, you’ll help me heal them, right? I need someone to feed herbs into the furnace while I make the elixir.”

“Isn’t Wan Lu going to bring disciples to fix it?” Hui asked.

Shaking her head, Xi Sanji put her hands on her hips. “That’s no good. I can’t rely on others all the time. I’m not a child anymore.”

“It’s good that Elder Sister is aware,” Hui said quietly.

“Mhm!” Xi Sanji agreed, missing his point. She gestured him over. “Come on. No one wants to believe me, but I know it’s true. The same ingredients added in different time intervals will surely lead to more powerful results!”

“Eh?” Hui asked, tilting his head. Isn’t that a fundamental part of pill cultivation? That shouldn’t be a revelation. From what I understood from watching Xixing, it already seemed to be a part of pill cultivation. So why…

Xi Sanji shook her head. “There are the standard timings, of course, but those are merely standard. Listen to the materials, and let them tell you when to best add them! This is certainly the right course of action!”

Hui’s eyebrows shot up. Oh, I see. You’re the kind of person who’s never followed a recipe nor learned the fundamentals of cooking, yet is convinced that you’re a master chef anyways, never mind the pasta burning on the stove.

Haaaaa. I think I’ll pass on the pill cultivation tier. Hui turned to go. “Elder Sister, I’ve never cultivated pills before. I can’t—”

“No time like the present!” She shoved a handful of small black seeds into his hand and pointed him toward a fresh pill furnace. “On my mark, add them in one at a time, with evenly spaced intervals between, understood?”

Hui pressed his lips together unwillingly. Elder Sister, can’t you at least give me the right to refuse?

Sighing, he approached the furnace. Whatever. Let’s get this over with, and then I’ll make my escape. After all, she still has to give the elixir to a disciple to test it. While she’s testing it, that’s when I’ll make a break for it!

“Ready? Here we go!” Xi Sanji said, holding up a two-colored leaf in red and blue.josei

Hui held up his beans. “Here we go,” he replied, though far less enthusiastically.