Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Chapter 670: Does Revival Count as Kissing?

As Xi Sanji’s lips lowered toward Hui’s, Hui’s mind worked at a thousand meters per second.

I can’t let her kiss me. I already have Li Xiang, and Bai Xue, and, and maybe the reaper, I’m a married man! A married man!

But… if I get up, that projection is going to get angry again. If it’s angry, I won’t be able to loot this place. The only way I can get the loot, is to keep playing dead!

But if I keep playing dead, Xi Sanji is going to place those lips on mine! I don’t want that. I don’t want to get kissed by her!

A different voice sounded out in his head. Ha? Is this what it takes to keep me from playing dead? A kiss is enough to make me betray my entire path thus far? Is my resolve so weak?

No. My resolve isn’t so weak. I’m committed to playing dead! I’ve watched my body get torn apart. I’ve let anything happen to my corpse! Kissing? A mere kiss? Ha! Nothing, compared to what I’ve played dead through.

But, but, but!

A third voice joined the argument. But, so what? Bai Xue won’t mind. Li Xiang will instantly understand the context and won’t mind at all. I can already hear it. “Why would I be bothered by a revival technique?” After all, that’s all this is. A revival technique. Xi Sanji isn’t kissing me at all. I’m the one being ridiculous here. In fact, I’m being dishonorable toward Xi Sanji by considering her earnest revival attempt as a kiss. I’m a child who’s in danger. She only sees this as healing me. If I consider it as anything else, I’m the one who’s being rude. Therefore, the most proper course of action is to merely lie here and take it!

I don’t actually need to be revived, though. That’s—

That’s the consequence of playing dead. I’m committed to bearing the consequences of playing dead!

Ah, but maybe I should give a small sign of life so that Xi Sanji only does it once?

Why not do that ahead of time, then?

No, no, it wouldn’t do. I’d still need to be treated for my ‘qi deviation.’ But it would be expected for me not to immediately jump up after taking the pill. I’ll take it, then pretend to ‘heal’ enough to wake up… but not enough to trigger the projection. If I don’t actually restart my life processes, it shouldn’t respond… probably.

Ahhh, this is my mistake. Next time I’m given a pill, I’ll swallow it, even if I’m ‘dead!’ What a tragic mistake, what a terrible mistake!

It’s just that I’ve never been in this situation before. Most of my allies know about my habits, and none of my enemies try to revive me. In the few situations where I’m around an ally who doesn’t know I play dead, they’re usually also in danger or bound by the time I’m ‘dead,’ and healing me is no longer the first priority.

All of this took some time to describe, but Hui thought it in an instant. Resolved, he laid still, waiting as Xi Sanji’s face descended. Hair tickled his face and neck. Softness pressed against his lips, and a bitter taste flowed into his mouth. Obediently, Hui swallowed, even as Xi Sanji rubbed his neck to force a swallow.

She reached for his pulse. Hui flinched out of her reach, opening his eyes. “Thank you, Elder Sister,” he said weakly, then closed his eyes again.

Unsatisfied, Xi Sanji reached for his pulse again. Again, Hui twitched away. Hey! I spoke. I’m fine. Stop trying to check my vitals. They aren’t there, okay? But I’m fine! Trust me!

I have to spend qi to move right now. Elder Sister, leave me alone!

With some effort, Hui peeled his eyes open and operated his vocal cords. “I’m fine, Elder Sister. Focus on the projection. The treasure…!”

“Your life is more important,” Xi Sanji insisted, reaching for his pulse yet again.

And I’m telling you, it’s fine! Just trust me! I want that treasure more than anything. Can’t you trust me for a moment? Internally, Hui gave a deep sigh. Externally, he shook his head ever so slightly. “The projection. The treasure… I’ll be fine!”

She hesitated another beat, then nodded, looking up at the projection. Over them, the projection finished its spiel, then smiled wider. “You, true descendent, proceed.”

Behind the projection, a glowing door-shaped rift opened in the air.

How deep does this go? The pill library, the secret, this sea and sky realm, the gold palace, the projection… how many layers did the pill sect’s Matriarch set up? And why? It’s not like there were enemies in the sea and sky realm… Maybe she ran out of time, and made the layers but not the enemies? Or was the projection meant to serve as this realm’s sole protector?

Xi Sanji scooped Hui up and walked toward it, leaving the projection behind. Hui laid lifelessly in her arms. I’d better not revive until we’re far past the projection. I don’t want it to suddenly close this door, or anything.

They stepped into the glowing rift. Light swirled around them, and Hui felt the now-familiar sensation of crossing the void. This sensation… I’ve only felt it when I’ve passed to a realm that’s fully segregated from the world. The Underworld, for example, or the Night Market. Is this a secret realm on the level of those realms? Or perhaps, she entered a realm like that and carved off a small part to form her secret realm?

The light faded. Hui woke up and jumped free of Xi Sanji’s arms. “Thank you for the pill, Elder Sister! I’m completely healed now!”

Ignoring him, Xi Sanji stared past, her eyes wide.

Hui turned. Is the treasure that great? I don’t remember seeing any gold…

They stood in the middle of a garden. Herbs and spiritual plants grew all around them, climbing trellises, growing in neat lines, dangling from trees. With his new plant knowledge, Hui recognized many of them, but many were still far beyond his knowledge. An immense pressure and powerful wood and water qi emanated from the garden, strong enough that he would have struggled to stand at his supposed fourth-realm strength.

“This… the Lost Gardens!” Xi Sanji breathed. Worshipfully, she stepped forward, her eyes wide, her hands spread, fingers twitching. “So this is where they went…”

Behind her, Hui rubbed his hand together, quietly forming a lotus seed. He tossed it beside the garden’s paved path, where it instantly buried into the dark, fertile soil. “Elder Sister recognizes this place?”

“Only from legends and scroll paintings passed down for generations,” Xi Sanji murmured. She knelt, delicately stroking a leaf. “It’s said that our Matriarch gathered one of every herb within the Eastern Alliance and brought them here to grow them. For them to still be growing perfectly after all this time…”

Hui frowned. No, Elder Sister is right. For them not to be overgrown or overladen with fruit…

“This place is frozen in time. Or I should say, was,” a familiar voice spoke close to his ear.

Hui jolted, grabbing his ear. He whipped around.

The reaper stood there, a hand on her hip. She cocked a brow at him.

“Is there a problem?” Xi Sanji asked, frowning back at Hui.

Hui looked at her for a moment, then nodded. That’s right. Ordinary cultivators can’t see the reaper. He waved his hand. “Nothing, Elder Sister. Please, carry on. This small cultivator needs some time to recover my strength, after all.”

Xi Sanji nodded. She drew deeper into the garden, turning slowly.

Once she was out of earshot, Hui turned to the reaper. “Frozen in time?”

The reaper nodded. “The Matriarch of Green River Pill Sect sought the power of time to assist in her growth of rare spiritual plants. Although she only knew a few techniques, it was enough to lock this garden in time. I came when I sensed it opening.”

“Is Elder Sister interested in this garden?” Hui asked.

The reaper nodded. “Few cultivators comprehend time before they reach the Immortal realm. I came to observe the garden’s opening and further my own comprehension.”

“Ah,” Hui said. That’s right. I forget that she isn’t an Immortal. Naturally, she’s still interested in progressing her cultivation… though, er, can reapers become Immortals? They’re dead…

Dead cultivators—or rather, death and ghost cultivators can still progress in cultivation. Why not the reaper? It’s true that she has a unique status and role, but fundamentally, she’s a special kind of ghost cultivator. Even if her current status as a reaper prevents her from progressing, I was able to escape that status and return to cultivating. So why wouldn’t she want to take advantage of opportunities like this when they arose?

“Ha, I’m glad Fen Long can’t see this.” A pair of claws latched onto Hui’s shoulder as Chen Wuya folded his wings.

“You too, Senior?” Hui asked, surprised. I get how the reaper’s here, but Chen Wuya?

Preening his feathers, Chen Wuya scoffed. “Hmph. I can come and go as I please. Why wouldn’t I come here? Only a few cultivators have harnessed the power of time. Observing such advanced time-based techniques is a rare opportunity.”

“How did you know to look here?” Hui asked, a little suspicious. I know the reaper’s watching me, but…

Chen Wuya looked at him. He tilted his head, his red eyes boring into Hui’s. “Such an interesting child such as you, why wouldn’t I watch?”

“Er, when Senior puts it like that…” Bluntly admitting that you’re watching me? Ah! Chen Wuya truly is a demonic cultivator! Being unafraid to admit his sins like that, despite being a creepy peeper…

Again, Chen Wuya harrumphed. “Creepy peeper? You and that Bai cultivator are the ones having public or—”

Hui coughed. “Chen Wuya, since you’ve been watching me in a non-creepy way and definitely not peeping, why don’t you help me perceive the power of time?”

“Ask your girlfriend over there,” Chen Wuya sneered, adjusting his wings.

“His… what?” the reaper asked sharply.

“Eh, Senior, why aren’t you with Fen Long? Could it be, did something happen?” Hui asked, tilting his head. Things are deteriorating. I can’t let Chen Wuya keep dominating the conversation. Distract, distract!

Chen Wuya stiffened. “Nothing of the sort.”

“Oh… trouble in paradise?” Hui wondered aloud.

“What paradise,” Chen Wuya muttered under his breath.

Hui looked at him. “Is Fen Long trying to box you in?” Since he’s the type to put his enemies in secret realms, and yet, still tries to help them, I bet Fen Long is the clingy obsessive type toward his lov—ahem, close friends. After all, he’s clingy enough to lock down his enemies, and obsessive enough to try to fix them even though they’re trying to kill him!

“Hmph.” Chen Wuya turned away.josei

Hit the nail on the head, huh. Hui nodded. “I’m grateful to have wives who understand my desire to roam.”

“Wives, huh,” Chen Wuya said neutrally, gazing into the distance.

Huh? Ah! Oh… er, my apologies. Hui coughed. “That is, and, and, of course, I—”

Chen Wuya smacked him with a wing. “Shut up. That’s enough already.”

Hui fell silent. A few moments passed.

With a sigh, Chen Wuya hopped on Hui’s shoulder, then kicked his neck. “Alright. If you want to learn how to sense the power of time, close your eyes. I’ll teach you. Though it’ll be a long time, if not forever, before you learn how to use it for anything. I’ll warn you, most Immortals still don’t know how to harness time.”

“Understood,” Hui said, nodding. Since the garden is basically useless to me, I might as well get something out of this! I have my plans, but… well, it is very little immediate benefit. Learning about the power of time could help out a lot! Ah, something like a time loop is probably dreaming, given how difficult it sounds… and in any case, the power of time in my novels was usually limited to slowing or stopping time, so I’m not expecting anything drastic. But still! If I could start learning about the power of time now… think about it! I could stop time on my corpse and remain ‘dead’ for far longer… forever, even! Slow time for my corpse, and—the same! Or if I’m in the middle of getting killed, slowing time could be a great way to live for just long enough to convincingly fake my death and avoid true death.

Yes, yes. Even a limited power of time is well suited for a small cultivator like myself.

Chen Wuya nodded. “Close your eyes.”