Master, This Poor Disciple Died Again Today

Chapter 701: Slashertopia

Jie Xinlei led him through the village. “…and that’s where Zhai Shenyuan lives. She makes the best bao, you’ll have to try some sometime.”

“Do you need to eat, Elder Sister?” Hui asked politely, only half paying attention.

“I’m not hungry,” Jie Xinlei said.

Hui cleared his throat. “I mean, ever.”

“Ah… I suppose not, no. But eating is fun, isn’t it?” she said, tapping her lip.

“Yes, I agree,” Hui said, nodding. Ah… that makes me miss Elder Sister Meimei. I wonder how she’s doing? I hope she’s still happy, wherever she is. And hopefully still making her delicious food!

Jie Xinlei’s eyes widened, and she nodded to herself. “Oh! Since it’s your first day here, what if I cook you a special meal? My duck is the best duck in the village!”

“Quack!”

Hui jerked. He looked slowly at her.

“Er… are you not a fan of duck?” Jie Xinlei asked, confused.

He licked his lips. “It’s not… that I’m not a fan, Elder Sister, but… due to certain circumstances, I… er, suppose I might have become a bit averse to duck?”

Jie Xinlei tapped her cheek thoughtfully. “How about chicken?”

Hui hesitated, then nodded. “I can do chicken.”

“It’s decided, then!” She smiled.

Looking her in the eyes, Hui settled back on his heels. He put his hands behind his back. “Elder Sister, do you like it here?”

“It’s all I’ve ever known, so of course I do!” she said happily.

“You’ve never wondered if there might be something else out there?” Hui prodded.

She hesitated, then shook her head. “No. Why would I?”

Hmm. She’s not telling the truth, is she. Hui nodded. “Then I suppose I’ll settle in. At least for a time.”

Jie Xinlei nodded. “I’m sure you’ll stay forever.”

Stop saying such horror movie lines, Elder Sister! Your phrasing, your phrasing is a bit off! ‘I’m sure you’ll stay forever?’ How ominous. No ‘choose to’ or ‘want to,’ but simply surety that I’ll stay? If this isn’t some kind of dystopia or slasher village, I’ll eat my loincloth!

Why do cultivators wear loincloths, come to think of it? It’s not as if we’re using that part of our bodies except for occasional fun, nor do they get dirty any faster than any other part…

Hui shook his head. Keep your thoughts in line, Hui! Now isn’t the time to be wondering about underwear choices!

A little voice in the back of his head muttered, I’m sure Bai Xue would say we wear underwear for the allure of taking it off…

“How long have you been here?” Hui asked, looking sideways at Jie Xinlei.

“All my life,” she said happily.

“Then, how old is Elder Sister?”

She shook her head. “It’s rude to ask a lady her age.”

“I’m sure I’m older than you, in any case. Age is no matter for Immortals,” Hui said, nodding nobly.

“I’m… somewhere around two hundred,” Jie Xinlei admitted.

Hui halted mid-step. Me and my big mouth. I’m not even a single century old, and she’s two hundred? Ah, with the lifespan of Immortals, what’s a few hundred years, after all, but—but even so!

She caught his freeze and turned away, embarrassed. “It does bother you. I knew it.”

“No, no. I simply… I simply had an unfortunate realization about my own age,” Hui said, shaking his head.

Jie Xinlei laughed. “You’re making realizations about your own age? I don’t mind, no matter how old you are, though.”

“Ah, that’s… no need to concern yourself with my small troubles.” Hui waved his hand.

She nodded cutely. “I’ll worry about how I’m going to cook that chicken tonight!”

Too sugar sweet, too creepily over-accommodating. She’s already acting like this, when we’ve known each other a few hours? No real human being acts that way! Worried, I’m very worried. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked around. Where’s the other shoe? I know it’s out there, waiting to drop.

Hey! Other shoe! Show yourself!

Oh well. It’s probably going to come out tonight, if it ever does, whatever horror it is that lives in this off-putting village. Night is when terrible things happen, everyone knows that. After all, if the slasher came out in broad daylight, where’s the horror there? That’s just a sword fight!

Though, honestly, I’m getting dystopia vibes more than slasher vibes. I need to keep looking. Figure this place out.

Hui yawned exaggeratedly. “Elder Sister, I’m exhausted. I think I’ll turn in early, if you don’t mind.”

“What about the chicken?” she asked.

“Ah… could I ask you to wait for tomorrow?” Hui asked, rubbing the back of his neck. I’m not completely comfortable asking her to cook for me, and even if she did, I’m not comfortable eating what she cooks! Not without watching every step of the process. After all, the last thing I want to do is drink the proverbial red powdered drink.

She pouted a little, but nodded. “Of course.”

Hui’s heart trembled a little. Don’t give in to her pouting. It’s fine, it’s fine. This is just ordinary caution! We still have tomorrow. Yes, yes. Caution first.

He nodded to Jie Xinlei. “Then, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes. Tomorrow.” Jie Xinlei’s eyes gazed off to infinity. She bit her lip, the smile vanishing for the first time.

Hui tilted his head. Oh? Do the first cracks show? “Is something the problem, Elder Sister?”josei

She waved her hand. “No, no. I’m just a little tired myself.”

Hui bowed his farewell. “Then, let me take my leave, so Elder Sister can rest as well.”

“Ah, appreciated,” Jie Xinlei said.

With a wave, Hui wandered back to his house. All the way there, he continued to watch the village. Nothing stood out. A harmonious, ordinary village scene unfolded around him.

Hui put his hand on his chin. Almost too harmonious.

And no magic, either. No one is casting spells or using qi. Even though they’re all Immortals and have Immortal-level cultivation, none of them are even exerting their pressure. They could be like Jie Xinlei, born here with Immortal-level cultivation from birth but no training or ability to properly use it, but I doubt it. She mentioned that her parents came up from the mortal realm. You only ascend from the mortal realm by cultivating to Immortality. Her parents definitely know how to use their cultivation. And since they do, all the more mysterious that Jie Xinlei doesn’t, and that no one in this village seems to use any magic at all.

Is it a mortal LARP village? Is it? I really don’t have another answer!

No. I just haven’t dug deep enough yet. There’s more to this.

Nodding to himself, Hui walked back into his hut.

“Don’t believe them.”

He jumped, startled.

The man on the cot peeked an eye open at him. At the sight of Hui, he scoffed. “Did you only ascend yesterday?”

“Er…” Hui rubbed the back of his head. “Today, actually.”

The man stared.

Where’s my manners! Hui quickly bowed. “Ah! Greetings, Senior. This small cultivator is known as Xiao Hui.”

“You unfortunate soul,” the man said, shaking his head. “Zhang Ming.”

“Do you know what’s wrong with this village?” Hui asked, tilting his head.

The man scoffed. “You’ve at least noticed that much, then.”

“Yes. Senior, as magnificent as the aura Senior is letting off is, Senior must be wise enough to know exactly what’s going on,” Hui said, nodding.

“Indeed.” Zhang Ming closed his eyes again.

Senior! Senior, don’t simply say yes and ignore me! Senior! Hui despaired silently. He shook his head at Zhang Ming and settled down on the floor to meditate.

“I don’t give you a week,” Zhang Ming whispered.

“Senior?” Hui asked, opening his eyes.

Zhang Ming sat silently, ignoring Hui once more.

Hui shivered. This whole village is bad vibes. All of it!