Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 304: Do Not Underestimate a Virgin’s Way of Life!

Chapter 304: Do Not Underestimate a Virgin’s Way of Life!

The second round.

On the empty ground beside the river.

"As a virgin, which book should I choose?" Yamazaki sat cross-legged on the ground and pointed at the three books of different thicknesses in front of him.

Old man Kitagawa looked at the three books on the ground. They were a Jump magazine, a graduation photo album, and an adult magazine that Old man Kitagawa had just bought from the convenience store.

Old man Kitagawa pinched his chin and pondered for a long time. Then, he tentatively picked up the adult magazine and looked at Yamazaki who was sitting opposite him. He tentatively asked, "This?"

"No way!" Yamazaki instantly stood up, pointed at the graduation photo album on the ground, and shouted, "In this situation, you should choose the graduation photo album!!"

"Eh?!!"

Kawaki and Kagura, who were at the side, narrowed their eyes and watched this scene expressionlessly.

The third round.

Yamazaki took out two photobooks of beauties again and put them in the open space for Old man Kitagawa to choose from. What was worth mentioning was that one of the two photobooks was cute, and the other was sexy.

This time, Old man Kitagawa became serious. He crossed his arms and pondered for a long time before he made a careful decision.

Looking at Old man Kitagawa who had a confident look on his face as he picked up the sexy photobook, two veins instantly popped up on Yamazaki's face, "In this case, you must have both! At this time, you should be a little bit greedy! Cherrygawa!"

"EHHH?!!"

Kawaki and Kagura were still squinting at the farce in front of them.

"Little uncle, virgin is really scary-aru." Kagura said expressionlessly.

"You are right," Kawaki replied.

The fourth round.

The prop that Yamazaki took out was a clarinet, and here it was assumed that the female student he likes in the class accidentally left it in the classroom after school.

"This is the case. You are on cleaning duty alone but found the clarinet on the seat of the girl you had a crush on. In this case, what would you do as a virgin?!" Yamazaki asked with a serious face.

"Uh... Put it back on the table for her?" Old man Kitagawa said tentatively.

Hearing this, Yamazaki shook his head. At the same time, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and made a big cross.

"No? Could it be put back in her desk book holder?"

"It's a big mistake! In this case, of course, it is ___________________!!!" Yamazaki shouted. (This blank is left for the reader to fill in.)

"Eh?!"

"No, that's just plain perversion," Kagura said expressionlessly.

"Indeed, he is a complete freak." Kawaki nodded expressionlessly.

After a few more rounds, Old man Kitagawa actually did not answer a single question correctly.

Looking at the two people lying on the empty ground beside the river, panting, Kawaki twitched the corners of his eyes and complained, "I always feel that Cherryzaki is a little too motivated today..."

"The culprit is you, right?" Kagura scoffed expressionlessly.

...

"Old man, how is it?" Yamazaki sat up, panting, and looked at Old man Kitagawa, "Have you retrieved your virgin heart?"

"I think... I don't." Old man Kitagawa scratched his sparse head hair and smiled a little embarrassedly.

Hearing this, Yamazaki lowered his head heavily and let out a long sigh. Then, he looked up at Kawaki, who was silent at the side and said weakly, "Boss, I have used up all my methods... I really can't help this old man anymore."

"Yes, and you have worked hard enough." Kawaki walked over and gently patted Yamazaki on the shoulder, "No one will blame you."

"Boss..." Yamazaki sniffed, tears overflowing from the corners of his eyes. Why did he say it was inexplicable? Because even Kawaki, the initiator of the evil, could not understand it.

"Well, continue to work hard," Kawaki continued, "Also, I would like to express my gratitude to you. Thanks to you, we can see your virgin soul exuding incredible beauty."

After Kawaki finished speaking, he secretly winked at the expressionless Kagura. Kagura understood and stood there expressionlessly while clapping.

Seeing this, Yamazaki was moved to tears and directly broke the dam.

...

"That, old man, we can only help here. The rest can only be done by yourself." Kawaki looked at Old man Kitagawa and encouraged him with a confident expression, "I think you can definitely do it! You should believe in yourself!"

"That's right! You can definitely do it! There is nothing in this world that you can't get as long as you try your best!" Kagura understood Kawaki's trick and also looked at Old man Kitagawa with eyes full of confidence, "Even if there is, I think you can still do it-aru! You don't have to worry about your cold wife!!"

"You..." Old man Kitagawa's eyes were already filled with tears as he said intermittently, "Thank... thank..."

"It's fine. We just did some insignificant things. The key is still your own efforts." Kawaki said with a faint smile, "It's up to you now, old man."

After saying that, Kawaki glared at Yamazaki, who wanted to say something.

Seeing this, Yamazaki could only swallow his words back down.

In the end, under Old man Kitagawa's grateful gaze, Kawaki and Kagura dragged Yamazaki away slowly...

After a long time, Kawaki looked behind him and then turned around to wipe the sweat on his forehead with some lingering fear, "Phew! That was close. I almost exposed myself."

As he spoke, Kawaki looked at Yamazaki who was at the side, and complained, "Hey, Cherryzaki, you almost ruined a big thing just now. It wasn't easy for me to successfully trick that old man."

"Eh?!" Yamazaki stopped in his tracks and looked at Kawaki and Kagura in surprise, "Speaking of which, did the two of you plan this from the start? Did you say all those fake words just to fool that old man?!"

"Of course," Kawaki curled the corners of his mouth and said with some disdain, "How can that kind of commission be completed? It's better to just do it like this. Just thinking about the relationship problems of a couple who are almost 60 years old makes my scalp numb."

Kagura cupped her hands and nodded.

"I say, you two are too much!" Yamazaki said anxiously, "That old man worked very hard today! In order to make his wife fall in love with him again, he worked extremely hard! Aren't you guys too bad?! Even if you can't help much, you should at least encourage him a few times!"

"No, didn't I encourage him in the end?" Kawaki asked back.

"That can only be considered a bluff!" Yamazaki shouted.

"No, no, no, no," Kawaki waved his hand with a look of disapproval on his face, "Also, your mission has been completed. Hurry up and go back. Goodbye."

After saying that, Kawaki turned around and left, and Kagura followed him.

Seeing this, Yamazaki, who stayed in the same place, could only curse Kawaki in his heart, then turned around and left resentfully.

...

"That, little uncle," Kagura lowered her head and frowned slightly, "Did we... do something wrong-aru?"

"I don't know." Kawaki shrugged and said indifferently, "But we can't help him with this kind of thing. All we can do is give him some courage. Moreover, don't underestimate the relationship between the old man and the old woman. Although there are times when they will quarrel, after dozens of years of getting along, some things are even harder than diamonds. They won't break so easily. I believe that the two of them will soon make up. Don't think about it anymore."

"Although I don't quite understand it, I seem to understand some-aru." Kagura raised her head, and a smile appeared on her face, "Just like Mommy and Daddy, although they always make noise in front of me and my idiot brother, they always kiss me behind my back, while we are sleeping..."

Before Kagura could finish speaking, he felt a gust of cold air pass over from Kawaki.

"Kagura-chan, that baldy should be called a baldy instead of a daddy. You must remember it clearly." Kawaki raised an index finger and corrected her with a smile on his face.

"Oh..."

...

Dusk.

Kawaki sat in front of the counter in Otose's store, poured himself a cup of white wine, and drank it in one breath.

"Ah~ After work, a cup of wine is really comfortable~" Kawaki breathed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes.

"Yes, the rice will be more delicious after work!" Kagura said vaguely while holding the rice cooker.

"The two of you are exactly the same." Otose looked at the big and small in front of her and smiled helplessly. "Then, how is it? The old man's matter."

"We had done everything we needs to do. The rest is up to him." Kawaki waved his hand and replied, "After all, young people can't be too involved in the relationship between the old man and the old woman."

Otose snorted and took a puff from the cigarette in her hand. She did not speak again.

However, right at this moment, the door of the shop was suddenly forcefully pulled open. Following that, Old man Kitagawa's cries could be heard.

Everyone was shocked. They looked at the door and saw Old man Kitagawa with a shiny wig and a white Elvis-style suit standing at the door crying.

"Why? Why didn't she like me again?" The tears on Uncle Kitagawa's face never stopped. He sobbed and said, "I've already put in a lot of effort and spent so much time and money. Isn't it too strange?"

"You're the strange one, aren't you?" Kawaki scoffed expressionlessly, "Why did you become like that? Why do you think it's feasible to dress like that?!"

Old man Kitagawa wiped his tears and raised his head to explain, "Because didn't you say that you wanted me to go back to the past? Isn't this outfit the trend of our youth?"

"That's not what we meant at all!" Kawaki and Otose shouted at the same time.

"Then what do you want me to do?" Old man Kitagawa started wailing again...