Maybe a Fake Gintama

Chapter 532: Children Who Have Their Toys Taken Away Look the Same Throughout the Universe

Chapter 532: Children Who Have Their Toys Taken Away Look the Same Throughout the Universe

In the vast cosmos lit only by faint stars, an ugly, conch-shaped spaceship—or perhaps a space station—drifts silently. The emblem of the Harusame, the galaxy's most prominent criminal syndicate, occupies a large area on the station's top.

Indeed, this is the Harusame's headquarters. However, it's not entirely accurate to call it the headquarters since some of the true leaders and... specific individuals considered extremely dangerous by Harusame themselves are not present here.

From this perspective—against the dark cosmic backdrop, the station might not seem very large. However, if compared with a typical spaceship, the station is massive, even more significant than a major city, and could indeed be considered a small planet.

A ship that looks minuscule in comparison to the station slowly docks. After docking, the hatch opens, and a smiling Kamui steps out, followed closely by the towering Abuto, with a group of Yato clad in uniform black robes and gray cloaks trailing behind.

"Yare yare, it really annoys me," Kamui says as he walks, his hair antenna wiggling, perhaps due to excitement. "To think, on the way to retrieve a gift, I find out it's been snatched away by someone else. It's infuriating."

"To soothe your mood, Boss, we even stayed three days on that planet full of turtles," Abuto quips, lips curled. "You should be over it by now, right? You know how tough those turtle shells can be. The guys' hands are all numb."

"I feel like if I don't vent my feelings, I might just kill that Takasugi when I see him," Kamui chuckles. "Even if he's an old friend, isn't it a bit rude to snatch someone else's gift without a word?"

"Ara? Our Boss is learning manners," Abuto teases the other Yato, then adds, "Did you hear that? What our Boss just said. Remember to be polite when you're out and about, or the Boss might get mad!"

The Yato around them burst into laughter.

"Alright, let's go see that gift that was originally mine," Kamui suggests with a narrowed smile. "Are you coming, Abuto? After all, it also involves your [beep—]friend."

"Hey, stop talking nonsense! None of that ever happened—not that thing, this thing, or the most important thing!" Abuto protests with a frown.

"You really are useless, Abuto," Kamui responds. "To think you let that fox escape without doing anything. Need me to give you some pointers in that area?"

"No, that won't be necessary."

...

In the Harusame headquarters' prison, a dim corridor flanked by cells holding various prisoners leads to a dark, damp cell at the end where the recently returned Kada, clad in a shabby earth-toned yukata, sits slumped against the wall, eyes lifeless, continually chuckling "heh heh heh." Her face is entirely devoid of vitality.

Kada's left hand continuously spins a bowl on the ground, with the faint sound of something hard hitting the bowl's sides.

"Double or single?" Kada mutters to herself.

"Just arrived at the cell, Kamui casually answers: "I'll guess double."

"Hehehe..." Kada lifts the bowl to reveal a screw and a small nut inside, "It's single..."

"Ayah, I lost," Kamui crouches down, sighing.

"It's unfortunate," says Abuto from behind Kamui. "To think, the leader of Harusame's Fourth Division once hailed as a 'Queen in the Shadows.' After losing her position in factional fights and fleeing with embezzled funds, I wondered where you had gone. I didn't expect you to return to such a pitiful state. Ah—my fantasies are shattered; I hoped to see your elegance once more. But it looks like that man has completely crushed all that you were."

"I don't recall him having an interest in mistreating women. He's the worst with women. You know, because of him, I was chased by a formidable woman across the cosmos for a long time," Kamui stands and laughs lightly in response.

"You're the same, aren't you? After seeing your sister, even pretending to be sick is something you'd learn," Abuto chuckles lightly.

"Speaking of which, Abuto, I can't believe you'd fall for a fox spirit," Kamui continues.

"Hmm," Abuto strokes his chin, observing Kada in the cell, "What do you know, kid? Even though it's an era where everything can be miniaturized to fit in the palm of a hand, women should not be too easily 'handled.'"

"Like the NDS?" Kamui glances at Abuto.

"No, like the MD," Abuto replies.

"I see, not too easily 'handled,'" Kamui nods to himself, "So, that man likes women he can't handle, just like you, Abuto."

"That's really... convenient," Kamui smirks, then looks back at Kada again, "A B size?"

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Abuto murmurs, "Who said it's about that? And isn't that the least important thing?"

"That man prefers them D size and up," Kamui turns and starts to walk away, "For him, that measurement is a crucial standard for judging women."

"I'm not that shallow," Abuto follows Kamui slowly, lips curling in disdain.

"Indeed, different levels," Kamui smiles, "After all, it's the opposite for that man. He is the one who can't be grasped, no matter the woman. Whether it's the leader of a planet or a god who fell for him and turned into a monster, no one... can really grasp him."

"Really, you're getting more and more ridiculous," Abuto turns away and spits.

"Speaking of which, it's a shame about the Shinra mercenaries," Kamui continues, "I wanted to test their famed group tactics, but they were all buried on Earth by that man. But I think I could do it alone, right? After all, not even a single hair of a Yato can touch me in a duel, so, as the second apex of the Yato... I should be able to do it easily, right?"

"Second apex? Who's the first? That man or Utsuro?"

"No, not them; the first apex is a woman..." Kamui suddenly seems to remember something, "But speaking of which, why haven't I seen Takasugi? I really would like to thank him personally for bringing the gift back to me."

As Kamui's voice fades, a figure brushes past him. Sensing something, Kamui stops and turns back.

Simultaneously, the passing Takasugi also stops and turns, a smirk on his face as he looks back at Kamui.

"Takasugi, huh? Thanks for helping me bring the gift back," Kamui smiles with narrowed eyes, "But it seems it didn't make it into my hands. Why is that?"

"For a kid like you, that woman is still too much," Takasugi chuckles lightly, "Besides... you're unintentionally revealed killing intent, and your manners are far from his."

"Boss!" Abuto quickly calls out.

"Yare yare, you really make me mad, Takasugi," Kamui laughs and then turns to walk away, not forgetting to wave his hand behind him.

Abuto glances at Takasugi before slowly following his leader.

"Samurai, huh?" Kamui's face shows rare excitement, "I heard they're the only ones in the universe who can match the Yato in face-to-face combat. I was curious about that silver-haired guy I saw that time and this guy, too.

"Don't lie," Abuto scoffs, "It doesn't seem like you're interested at all. To you, the only exciting existence is that man, right?"

"You really know me well, Abuto," Kamui smiles, "But... you got one thing wrong; I do indeed hate samurai, though I also have a bit of interest in them."

"Indeed, there aren't many beings that interest the Boss,"

...

"Shinsuke Takasugi?" Kamui holds a bite of meat in one hand and a bite of bread in the other, looking puzzledly at the man sitting across from him—Admiral Aho, a puppet or rather a useless leader controlled by the Harusame's actual rulers.

"Don't you know?" Aho, with only a tuft of green hair on his head and a somewhat overweight figure, replies leisurely, "He once allied with us, known as the leader of an armed group called the 'Kiheitai.'"

Kamui, who is continuously devouring the food on the table, mumbles with a mouthful of lobster, "Is he an Earthling then?"

"Seems to be called a samurai," Aho replies, "They were remnants who fiercely resisted our barbarians with a short stick on Earth in the past."

"Is that so..." Kamui casually responds after putting down his plate, "So, an idiot—no, Admiral Aho remembers his name; he must be quite remarkable, right?"