Moonlight Demon (GL LITRPG)

Chapter 122

Kaori

Earlier

Seeing Kasumi again, or rather any friend at all, really, was something Kaori hadn't known she needed as badly as she did. Since she had been living in isolation for a while, she had done a fantastic job of convincing herself that she was fine. That she was healing all on her own. But, as soon as she started having a regular conversation with someone she considered an old friend, she realized how wrong she was. 

Kasumi sat across from her, a sympathetic look on her face as the two talked. 

"I... I think I've moved on," Kaori stated, "at least, I stopped crying myself to sleep a while ago."

"One step at a time is fine, but," Kasumi replied, "I think the only real way you're going to get past all of this is by doing things, Kaori." 

"What do you mean?" 

"Living life!" Kasumi explained. "Right now, I think, your mind is still stuck on 'how am I supposed to do anything without Ash around?' And, while that's an understandable sentiment, it's something you need to deal with." 

"How?" 

"There are plenty of things you could do," Kasumi said, crossing her arms. "Go back to Jade for a bit and get hammered, find a new hobby, or, I don't know, find someone to..." She glanced at Nozomi who was listening at the side, and Kasumi cleared her throat. "You know." 

"I... What!?" Kaori yelped. "Kasumi, come on, I-I couldn't..." 

"Oh come on, seriously, you haven't done it in such a long time! Right?"

"Kasumi, I don't think it would be appropriate... I mean, wouldn't..." Kaori sighed. "Wouldn't it be disrespectful?" 

"Not at all. Kaori, you have to move around a little," Kasumi urged, with a kind smile but some clear worry in her tone as well, "the carpet needs a little cleaning, Kaori! You need to dust off down there!"

At that, Kaori couldn't help but laugh. 

"Stop!" Kaori said between cackles. 

"Sorry, sorry," Kasumi held her hands up defensively, "I'm just saying. Don't you think Ash would want you to be happy? Knowing her, she'd want you to live your own life instead of... You know..." 

"... Yeah," Kaori sighed.

This had been it. This had been the conversation that planted the seed in Kaori's mind. A small bubble of thought that, when paired with copious amounts of wine, would bring Kaori to take one of her first real steps in letting go. And it came in the form of showing an inexperienced girl how to kiss. 

---

Keiko

In life, there are certain experiences that one has where, the instant they do it, they realize that something inside of them has fundamentally changed as a result. This can be the first time someone tries alcohol, or when a person discovers their new favorite pastime. An experience where, once it's done, the person who had it understands that now, something about them and the way that they perceive the world will never be the same. Keiko was fairly certain that, as she felt Kaori's soft lips just barely grazing her own, she was in the middle of one of those moments. 

Kaori had said that this wouldn't be "that big a deal." That it was "just a kiss."

Kaori was a damn liar.

This was absolutely a big deal, to say the least. Nothing that Keiko had done in her life had ever made her feel this warm, this... vulnerable, but in a good way. Keiko had never done anything that made her feel this way before. Nothing that produced the heart-melting sense of excitement or the electric nerves in her stomach that she currently had.

She could have lived her entire life not knowing what this sort of thing was like, but now, thanks to her teacher, she knew.

And, now that she knew, how was she supposed to forget this once it was over? Act like she wasn't feeling the way that she was. Still, she tried to push that thought away and instead, focused on the present, instead of the near future. 

Kaori's left hand was placed over Keiko's right, in a reassuring way. In a similar way to how Kaori would take it when she led Keiko through the farm. Her lips, so soft, danced somewhat awkwardly with Keiko's own, as she didn't really have much of a clue of what she was doing. 

Still, although she was new to this, her mind was still functioning well. Until Kaori slipped her tongue past Keiko's lips. 

At that point, the Zayama nearly fainted. 

She pulled back and Kaori made a confused noise. 

"Hm?"

"W-... Sorry, you caught me by surprise..." Keiko said, coughing twice. "I didn't... I mean..." 

"Do you want to stop?" Kaori quickly asked. 

"Uh... Give me a second," Keiko took a few deep breaths.  This is far too intense.  She thought.  I... Well, now I feel stupid for it, but I thought this would be, I don't know, more innocent? 

"Take your time," Kaori told her and Keiko did exactly that. 

Kaori lifted her hand off of Keiko's, but the Zayama spoke up as she did. 

"Um... Can you keep it there?" Keiko asked. "I... It helps me feel grounded if that makes sense." 

"Okay," Kaori said, and her hand went back over Keiko's. "So... What are you thinking?" 

"Well..." At that moment, Keiko did what she usually did. She took up a professional posture, straightening her back and keeping her chin raised, hoping it would inject some fake confidence into her so that she could speak more clearly. "I... I'm enjoying this, I'm just wondering..." 

"Wondering what?" 

Keiko chuckled self-deprecatingly. 

"Wondering if it's always supposed to feel this... Mind-melting." 

At that, Kaori paused. Then, Keiko heard her inhale deeply and she said:

"It always has, for me."

"Is that so?" Keiko asked. 

"Mhm... With some people more than others," Keiko didn't know what that meant, but Kaori was quick to elaborate. 

"Like, with past lovers?" Keiko asked. 

"... With my wife, mostly." 

At that, Keiko's jaw planted itself against the ground. 

"... Your wife?" Keiko asked, baffled. 

"Hm? Yeah." 

Oh, by Alkoth, I'm with an adulterer. That's it. Whatever respect I had with my family is ruined. I will be known as the Zayama Mistress and books will be written about me and in all of them I'm going to be portrayed as some villain and everyone who reads it is going to hate my character and I'm going to grow up sad and alone in both the book and in real life, and, people will teach their children all about me and tell them not to grow up to be like Keiko and...

"She's passed away though." 

Keiko's train of thought stopped. 

"Oh." 

"Yeah. About a year and a half ago, I think." 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Keiko responded. 

"It sucked, it still sucks," Kaori added, "but... Yeah, we were married so, we used to do this all the time. I remember," Kaori continued, "I'd wake up in the morning find her cooking up breakfast or something and every time, it was like her lips would tell me that my day would be good, just by touching mine." 

"Hm..." Keiko nodded. "I can't say I've felt that sort of thing before." 

"There's a good side to that," Kaori told her, "at least you can't know what it's like to have it taken away. But, that's beside the point," Kaori kept going though Keiko could hear the way her voice strained, "doing this with you, now... Gosh," Kaori chuckled nervously. 

"Yes?" 

"It brings back... Not memories, exactly, but, old feelings. I guess what I'm trying to say is, this felt a little better than I thought it would. And, I don't know whether to be happy or ashamed about that." 

Keiko nodded, and then the two of them didn't say anything for a moment. 

"So... What do we do then?" Keiko asked. The hand that was over hers squeezed a little. 

"I don't know," Kaori replied. "It's up to you." 

Then, Keiko felt a hand brush some of her hair behind her right ear. 

"I'm your teacher, aren't I? Whatever you want to do, that's what matters." 

"But... I would like to know what you want to do," Keiko said. "I don't want to be selfish." 

"... Maybe being selfish every now and then isn't a bad thing. So," Keiko felt her body draw closer. "What is it that you want?" 

Keiko breathed in and responded:

"I guess I'd like to do that again. But... warn me if you're gonna do that... You know, tongue thing, again, okay?" 

"Okay."

And with those words, their lips met again shortly after. As casual as Kaori had promised this would be, ultimately, something had changed in both of them, and Keiko felt like they both could tell. Where this would take them was hard to say, of course, but wherever it did, it was clear that both of them would be going through changes. 

Still, at least, as far as Keiko was concerned, this woman had consistently surprised her. Keiko still had her guard up and yet, here she was, having slipped right past it, one hand over hers, letting her know that the two of them were embarking on some strange journey. 

As scary as such a thing was, Keiko felt like they both needed it. So, in Keiko's case, it was due to the expectations of her family, and in Kaori's case, it was as a result of the grief of losing a loved one, but they both were now walking the same path. 

The path of letting go, and it all started with Kaori's tongue once again slipping past Keiko's lips. 

"Y-You didn't warn me!" Keiko said as Kaori laughed. 

"Sorry, sorry... Again?" 

Keiko sighed. 

"... Fine."