My Evil System

Chapter 13 Huh . . . I Smell?

?When we got back to the village, the sun was beginning to sink just in time that we arrived.

After settling the fair of the inn, we settled in our shared room while my heart bleeds. Almost all the gil I got from grinding was gone just like that.

What about dinner now?

"You okay?" Soarsie asked.

"Yeah. It's just . . ." I swept the room with my eyes.

It was cramped, enough to fit two single beds side by side. It had only one bed on top of a rackety old wooden floor. The walls were thin woods put together in a haphazard manner. There were cobwebs on the ceiling, and the window could use some swiping.

Meanwhile, a single door to the left led to a tiny toilet enough to fit a single person. It didn't even have a shower — just a wooden dipper and a small barrel that collects water from the faucet.

Soarsie let out a heavy sigh. "I feel you. This room could use a major make-over. I mean, your cheap apartment is much more livable than this place."

". . ." I'd take that as a compliment.

"Coming through." Jane snuck in between us, and her face crumpled in dismay. "What the fuck is this?"

Luke was disappointed too, but there was nothing that they could do. "Let's just make something out from this. You girls sleep on the bed while we sleep on the floor."

My eyes darted to the wooden planks. The limited space wouldn't be enough for two grown men.

Luke and I glanced at each other. He didn't have to say it. I already knew . . . the two of us were going to sleep sitting with our backs on the wall.

<A New Side Quest appeared!>

Not now!

? E V I L S Y S T E M

S I D E Q U E S T ?

? Handsome Evil Doer

–– Buy the Handsome Elixir in the System Shop.

Rewards:

+1000 EXP

? Spank a girl's butt

Rewards:

+1000 EXP

? Extort a letter from a village chief/mayor

Rewards:

+1000 EXP

? Claim your rightful place on the bed between two beauties (11:59 time remaining)

Rewards:

+5000 EXP

? E N D ?

Oh, it actually got a timer . . .

That's not important!

I almost jumped from my skin.

<Some quests required Host to finish it at a certain time. Once the timer sets off, the quest will be lost forever.>

<But if Host managed to complete the quest, the EXP reward is enormous.>

Like hell, I'd be doing that! Stop giving me perverted quests like that.

<Host seemed to have misunderstood. Your desires mainly engineer the quests.>

. . . I caught my tongue.

I understood about those desires. I admit. But I certainly didn't desire to extort someone.

<The System provides Host with the most efficient and successful way to negotiate in this world.>

I gave up reasoning to it and partly because the others were looking at me in a weird way.

Eventually, Luke and I first took our bath and went downstairs in the pub while the ladies finished theirs.

It was awkward when it was just the two of us sitting at the table. I lacked social skills and certainly lacked ideas on a topic we could talk about.

It was a good thing that Luke was the one initiating the conversation. We talked about this world how we might be inside a beta test trial of a game. Or we were teleported into a gaming world. Or some higher entity put us here . . . until we came to the topic about our life on earth.

"What were you doing before this all started?" he asked.

I kind of wanted to avoid that conversation if I could. I was always boastful when I was young and naïve — taking pride in how I was already earning bucks from my jobs while others studied and relied on their parents to live.

But when I grew older, all the adults asked were college degrees and jobs, and I felt little whenever they looked at me like I was air.

"I'm working as a construction worker," I said and scratched the back of my neck.

"I see. As for me, I was working at my family's company before this all started."

Of course, you are. I looked to the side. "I-I see."

The conversation would have ended on an awkward note if not for the girls who finally saved me with their presence.

"These clothes are uncomfortable," said Jane the moment she sat on the table.

"I wonder if we could buy pajamas here?" seconded Soarsie. Her nose wrinkled, and the lines on her forehead deepened as she smelled herself. "Wearing the same clothes the whole day is really uncomfortable."

I guess the women had their own problems.

Rather, were things like hygiene important here? Would we still smell awful after we sweat?

I simply sniffed myself when the others looked the other way.

Yep.

I stink.

<A New Item appeared in the System Shop!>

Not again.

? E V I L S Y S T E M S H O P ?

? Handsome Elixir

This handsome elixir is a mighty potent potion that would bring back your youth and enhance your appearance like that of a God!

WARNING!

If you're not prepared to be stalked, threatened, or possibly killed by the ladies' affection, then do not – in any circumstances – drink this potion!

It is forever . . .

Cost:

100,000 Evil Points

? Handsome Perfume

Do you smell like socks from a fungus-filled foot? No worries! We got you! Avail our Handsome Perfume, and you'd be fresh like mint and blooming flowers in a glacier!

But wait, there's more! Sprinkle this baby all over your body, and you'll never have to worry about sweat and rotten smell again!

WARNING!

This perfume is tested and proven to make the ladies want to cuddle with you and make every man envious of your refreshing scent.

Lasts for 24 hrs.

Cost:

10,000 Evil Points

? Evil Perfume

This perfume was made by a famous alchemist who died perfecting its scent. Brewed from all the virgin women's smell, he created the ultimate fragrance that made everyone submit to him with just a whiff.

WARNING!

The smell of this perfume will make you a GOD for 30 sec. Those affected by the scent will follow your every order without question.

Lasts for 30 sec.

Cost:

50,000 Evil Points

? E N D ?