My Lycan Mate of Suicide Forest

Chapter 103 - Means To An End

The rest of the night at Sylvia's was spent eating gooey marshmallows and melty chocolate and sitting around the fire laughing and discussing happy, hopeful things about the future. Sam and Greta were still visiting with Sylvia when August and Graeme rose to give hugs before leaving.

It was strange driving through the pitch black woods with the artificial light of the car's headlights. August doubted there was anyone else on pack land driving home in the dark. Everyone else was likely relying on their lycan night vision or running home on all fours if they were out this late.

Graeme had a relaxed, peaceful energy radiating through him that August could feel, no doubt because of the wonderful news. He was going to be an uncle. It was so unexpected. She was happy for them all. But for some reason, the revelation that Greta and Sam were going to be parents made August feel like more an outsider. The news felt like something she could only really appreciate by looking in on the rest of them, whilst everyone else was overcome with something that would change their lives forever.

"Can I ask you something?" she glanced at hers and Graeme's hands that were intertwined as they drove.

"Of course," he looked at her with that same warmth as always.

She took a deep breath and held it before continuing. "When you found out Violet was pregnant…" she started, and then she felt everything in him immediately stiffen. His grip on her hand became tighter, and she let out the breath she had been holding. "Were you happy? Were you happy like everyone was tonight?"

"Can we wait to talk about it until we're back at the treehouse?" he asked, retrieving his hand from hers and putting it on the steering wheel.

August looked around at the dark forest that surrounded them. "Why?"

He blew out a breath, and suddenly the road became bumpier as he pulled off into the woods and put the car into park before turning off the lights. He continued to stare out the windshield for a few moments before he turned to her.

Her eyes were wide in the darkness, because she couldn't see as clearly as he could. There was a small spike of fear that he scented from her, and he found her hands again to hold in his own.

"We were 16," he said, and then he found it necessary to clear his throat. "We had been friends, and things just progressed from there." August shifted away from him in her seat, whether she was conscious of it or not, and he gripped her hands tighter in response.

"We were just having fun, I thought. I hadn't thought about anything long term. I hadn't even thought about her like that at all until she…" he cleared his throat again, "until she made it clear that's what she had in mind." August was holding her breath, and he had to raise his eyes to scan her before continuing. He was hurting her, dammit.

"Did you love her?" he heard her now timid voice reach out to him.

"Would it make me a horrible person if I said no?" He asked in return. She sighed.

"I was young and stupid. When she told me she was pregnant," he swallowed, recalling how he had turned cold—such a huge contrast to Violet's proud, beaming face. "I realized what I had done. What a huge mistake I had made. She might have thought she loved me. She might even think she still does, but she cares about appearance more than anything."

Graeme gritted his teeth, recalling how Greta told him she overheard Violet bragging to her friends about how she was going to be Luna one day. And that was before she and Graeme had even started seeing each other. If only Greta had told him sooner how different Violet's behavior was around people when he wasn't around.

"To answer your question, no. I wasn't happy. And honestly, I feel terrible about that. I felt terrible at the time. But I knew it wasn't right for us," he muttered.

"But I thought the Moon Goddess doesn't make mistakes," August whispered, looking into her hands.

"It's more complicated than that, my love," he answered.

"Is it?" she whispered back, unconvinced.

"Are you questioning us?" he asked, his chest tightening. "Should I have told you about this before… before everything? Would it have changed this between us?"

"I'm not questioning us," she shook her head. "I can't," she chuckled. "You are part of me. I just… I'm sorry. It's hard. It's hard knowing that you created a—a baby with someone else. With her," her eyebrows threaded together and she swallowed hard, looking into the darkness of her lap where the vividness of Violet's memories had started to flicker to life. She closed her eyes, willing them away. But it hurt. She couldn't help it.

"I wish it didn't bother me. I'm sorry," she sighed. "I feel like I'm outside all of this, looking in. This is your life and these are your people. I'm just some crazy experiment that showed up one day." She chuckled.

"Don't say that," he scolded her and grabbed her chin, tilting her face up to meet his eyes again. "You are not just some experiment. You are the reason why I have returned. You are just as much a part of what is happening here now as I am."

"Maybe I'm just a means to an end then," she suggested.

"August," he scolded again. "You are my mate." His words were deep and deliberate.

"Don't talk or think of yourself as anything less. You are only on the outside if you allow yourself to be. I want you next to me every step of the way. If you're not…" he ran a hand over hair, and her eyes fluttered closed with the soothing calm that flooded her at his touch. "If you're not by me, next to me, as my equal—as my, my best friend…" her eyes slowly opened to find his. His best friend? She like the sound of that. Her eyes pooled when she saw how his glittered with emotion in the moonlight.

"If you're not with me, it would hurt me greatly," he whispered, deep and gruff.

"I don't want that," she shook her head.

"Good," he replied, a small smile playing on his lips before drawing her into a soft kiss.