My Lycan Mate of Suicide Forest

Chapter 203 - Home Again

Graeme scooped her up in his arms and carried her through the woods with their foreheads pressed together.

They were silent as the trees passes, all green and golden and rouge. Slick leaves at their feet. The smells of autumn.

August closed her eyes, allowing his warmth and breath and proximity to feed her. To calm her. He was her home. If she could but stay like this, always with him, there would never be a problem in the world. She believed this whole-heartedly, because her heart sang to his.

When they arrived back at the house, he sat her gently on the bed before kneeling next to her and taking off her heavy ruana, dropping it unceremoniously to the ground.

"Why were you there? I need to know, August. Why did you go the prison? What made you so angry?" he pled, searching her eyes.

"It wasn't planned. I was distraught and missing you and wondering how I could help and… it was the crow that led me there," she admitted, scoffing at herself for how ridiculous it sounded.

"The crow?" he gazed passed her into the distance. Her tree guardian had said that she would send the bird to be with August. The bird must also be a guardian of some kind.

"Yes, I didn't understand it. But now I do," she breathed.

His eyes snapped back to her. "Why? What happened?"

She exhaled deeply. How was she going to tell him all of this?

"Can I ask you something first?" she asked, resting her hands on his forearms that were on either side of her, framing her on the bed.

"Yes, of course love," he replied, his expression soft and searching.

"How did you know I was pregnant? And… and why was Lucas looking at me that way?" she shivered recalling it.

She could be vulnerable now that she was with her mate, and because of that the full uneasiness of it hit her. She didn't know what had come over Lucas, and being alone with him in the dungeon like that when he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her was more than unsettling. It was like he was possessed or something. As unpleasant as Lucas often was, he had never acted like that around her before.

Graeme sat back on his heels. "I knew because your scent is different," he replied, shifting his hand to hold one of hers, running his rough thumb over her fingers. "I think I noticed it before, I just didn't allow myself to realize it until today. I'm so sorry, Moon."

"How is it different?"

"You're sweeter," he smiled. "It's subtle, but it's clear because your scent is so familiar to me. It's like home. It's precious." He picked up her hand and kissed it before running his thumb over it again, as if he was memorizing it by touch or reassuring himself that she was there.

"And you left the pack house, because…" she started, confused about how he had known to find her.

"Your anger. It was burning me alive, and I feared something happened to you. Things in the pack have escalated after I killed Auden and after the lies Andreas and Pearce have been feeding everyone. Old fears and hatred," he groaned and studied her hands as he thought of how poorly he had acted.

"I kept you out of everything. I kept my distance from you, and it wasn't right. I hurt you," his deep eyes returned to her face, studying the features that he had hid from for days now so he wouldn't be confronted with the hurt he was causing her. So his fear wouldn't be allowed to suffocate him as he imagined losing her.

"I'm so sorry. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. It's just that... I don't know what some in the pack might do. The elders are stirring them up, instigating unrest. Paranoia. And I can't find a way to negate what they are claiming. I fear for you," he admitted, his strong, masculine features crumpling before her eyes as he did. "I can't lose you too, August. Not you."

She ran her hands over the sides of his face and drew him against her chest, comforting and hushing him like a mother might. The past was returning to haunt him again now that he was in the position of power. Now that he was accountable.

"You aren't going to lose me, Graeme. Not if you let me help you," she reassured him. "That's why I'm here. You need to let me help you. I don't want to lose you either."

How would he react to the knowledge she had gained today? His understanding of the events that had occurred was settled into the foundation of him… layers of sadness and guilt. This was going to dredge that up even more and rearrange it. It was going to be a massive storm. Hopefully he would let her help him weather it.

"Please don't shut me out again," she shivered in his arms, and he drew her closer to him—sheltering her with his warmth. How had she managed so many days not having him close and open and vulnerable to her like this? "I don't want to feel lonely in the same room as you. I didn't think it was possible, but you were so far away. It was worse than being alone."

"That's how you felt?" his eyebrows dipped in guilt. She licked her lips recalling the emptiness of it and nodded. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, Little Red." He burrowed into her neck and squeezed her tighter and she sighed in relief. They were home in each other's arms again.

"And I haven't heard you call me Little Red or Moon in so long," she laughed against him.

"You haven't called me any names either," he reminded her, nipping the skin by his mark once he did.

"And what names would those be?"

"I'm not going to say the stupid name," he grunted and nipped her again.

"You mean Bun? Or is it…"

"Don't you dare say it," he growled.

"Why? You were the one to name the rabbit that. I think it's cute, Bun-Bun," she smirked, anticipating the tickles to come.. He poked her a few times, making her giggle, but then he ran his lips gently over her forehead, feeling the soft little blonde hairs that framed her face almost invisibly—memorizing this, another part of her that he hadn't had a chance to yet.