My Man Is A Villain, So Am I!

Chapter 12 - 12: The Female Lead(4)

In Diana's room,

"Get up! I have something to talk about!" the duchess locked the door of Diana's room and rushed to Diana whose body was numb from using the overwhelming magic a moment ago.

"Mom, you're back." Diana smiled so brightly seeing her mother after a long time, she tried to get up from the bed but her body was in a really bad condition.

"Get up!!! Do you hear me??"

"...yes..." her smile disappeared, her eyes went teary being started to her mother's loud voice.

Her mother couldn't bear to see her daughter being so lazy in her eyes, she walked to her bed and grabbed her hand tightly dragging her out of the bed to the desk.

"Mom, I'm hurt...I'm hurt..."

"Stop being so whiny, I have something important."

"Mom...I'm really hurt...please...release my hand." the part of her wrist her mother held turned red.

"Stop calling me mom, it's disturbing."

"...yes Duchess." Diana tried her hardest to hold back the tear from how her mother treated her.

She put Diana on the chair and searched her diary on the desk.

"Where is your diary??"

"In the drawer."

The duchess opened the drawer and grabbed the diary and started reading all the content in it.

"Is that all of it??" her mother asked her harshly with her eyes glaring dagger at Diana whose complexion starting to get worse.

"...yes, I didn't sleep much since I have to train at night."

"What?? What did you just say??!!" her mother slapped her face and pulled out her hair to calm her anger.

"I need to defend myself too, mom...I'm hurt, please...don't hurt me."

"How many times did I tell you?? Stop wasting your time in that stupid sword fighting!! Don't you see your past life is repeating over again??"

"...it was bound to be like that!!"

"No, it wasn't!! It was because you're stupid. The crown prince should be doing something by now if he really loves you. Such a useless brat."

"Why are you so mean to me...? I'm your daughter...why didn't you treat me the same way as you did with Marinette and brother Tristan?!"

"You dare ask me that when you have no use for me?! Tristan will be the next duke of this duchy and Marinette will be the crown princess and you...?? You're nothing!!"

"I'm your daughter, mom...why do you hate me so much?? Why?!" Diana was sobbing and wiping her tear. Her hair was fallen on the floor but her mother didn't care one bit.

"..."

"Am I even your daughter? Do you love me?" Diana was asking her crying heavily, her cheek which was slapped by her mother, its pain didn't compare to her heart breaking at every moment.

"Stop asking obvious questions, here is another magic orb. Use it on Marinette every opportunity you have, she won't be able to control her magic if her magic energy starts to increase."

"I don't know how to use it. It almost killed me this morning."

"If you're smart like Marinette, you will know how to use it. Don't call me mom if you can't do it. You have to be the crown princess no matter what."

"...yes Duchess." Diana took the small magic orb and hit inside her dress, her mother glanced at her a bit and then left the room.

Diana's POV

Why was everyone so obsessed with the duke's title? The crown princess's title? The throne?

What was so important about all of those things?

My head hurt...

Hic...hic...

I grew up in the most influenced household in the empire, every kid should be jealous of me but there were always people saying wherever I went.

<I heard she is the late duchess's daughter.>

<She might be not Duke Jellal's daughter, I heard her mother used to sleep with the second prince.>

<She's not the duke's child, look at her. She had nothing resemble the duke.>

<But she had the death roses magic, wasn't that enough?>

<Her mother is a sly fox, maybe she perform the dark magic!>

<Yes, yes, it had to be that.>

//Flashback

I wasn't the duke's daughter?

The only thing that helped me to defend myself from that accusation was the death roses magic, I had to train so hard to control my magic and showed it to the world.

The duke had red eyes and white hair but I didn't have anything resembling him.

I cried in my bed every night, my mother was never beside me in my childhood. She told everyone she liked her old house better so she moved there leaving me behind with the duke and the late duchess's kids.

I was scared that they might abuse me since I was the other woman's kid. I was three years old when I awaken my magic.

It was so difficult trying to get close to someone in the duchy even the maid and the workers didn't care about me much.

I never had three meals properly. Even the duke and his son didn't care about me much. They were always busy. The duke was always spending his time in his study room and Tristan was always at the academy and rarely came home.

There was one time he came to talk to me but I was scared, his presence was scary.

"Don't you have any friends?" brother Tristan asked.

"No."

Did I sound rude?

Did I smile properly at him?

What if he never talk to me again, I was so scared.

He usually came to talk to me from time to time but our conversation was never long enough and it always turned awkward because of me.

I changed myself, I told myself that no one will like me the way I was.

Then that day came, the day when everything about me changed.

"Have Marinette had breakfast yet? Tell the chef to give her some sweet after every meal."

'Who is Marinette?'

That time, I only knew the duke had one more daughter but I never met her. I stood in front of his study listening to him asking the butler every single day about the girl named Marinette.

"Tell the library to pick all the kid's books and build a bookshelf in the basement."

"It must be cold there, give her a warm blanket and brew hot tea for her. Wait, chocolate instead. I heard kid like chocolate."

"If anyone neglects their job of taking care of my daughter, fire them."

"Her favorite book is Aladin, really? It's my favorite book too when I was young."

"She likes chocolate? Bring her a chocolate cake tomorrow."

He never forgot to ask about her a single day, no matter how busy he was. I knew because I always hid and listened to him.

I wished I was her, for someone like the powerful duke to care for her. I wished I could switch places with her.

I was jealous of her, even though she only stayed in her room, she got all the love from everyone.

The duke never asked about me.

So I decided to go to her room, to be like her. I wondered what kind of person she was for the duke to like her so much.

I searched every room in the duchy but I didn't find her.

I summoned all my courage and asked my nanny, my nanny was the only person who loved me dearly during my childhood.

"Nanny, nanny!! Where is my sister's room?"

"Young lady, your sister is not allowed to see anyone."

"Why? Is it because she is beautiful?"

"Emm...the thing is...your sister had more magic energy than you, so she needed to be alone to control her magic."

"Then can I go meet her?" that was the worst thing I could've asked nanny on her last day.

I regretted it, she died after that.

Even in this life, she also died because I only dreamed about my past life later after that.

She took me to the basement, once I set my foot in the basement.

I heard Marinette's voice for the first time, "Get out...go away."

"I'm Diana...umm, I heard you like chocolate. I have a cake here."

"Get--out!!!! Go!! Hurry!!!"

"Why are you--"

"Lady Diana, run!!!!" nanny shouted at me and pushed me back away from the basement, even if I sat outside the basement, I could feel the death roses magic energy of Marinette.

It was like someone ripping my heart apart just from the distance, and when everyone, the duke and Tristan came to rescue. Nanny already died.

I hated Marinette, she was the one who killed my nanny...but deep down, I knew it was my fault.

I changed myself, I forced myself to smile, I had to be sweet. After my nanny died, the duke always came to comfort me.

I felt guilty for being happy.

Later on, the duke rarely asked about Marinette and everyone started to love me.

<Lady Diana is really sweet.>

<Lady Diana is smart too, she learn everything faster than a normal kid.>

I was happy since I got everyone's love.

But a part of me always carried the guilt along the way of my life, every time I smiled, it was tired. And without knowing, I already lost myself.

Even when I met Richard when I was young, he loved me who was sweet, the one I put on an act all the time.

I realized he would never love me if he knew the real me, that was why I decided to bury the real me. I chased after love, but there was never a time I said to myself I loved myself.

I wanted to be Marinette...without trying, she always had someone to love her for who she really was.

+++

Under the cherry blossom tree behind the duchy,

"I love you, Marinette...please forgive me." Marinette was startled by Asher's confession, she wanted to run but his grip was tight and not intended to let her go.

"Asher, take your hand off me." she said bluntly because she thought that was what Marinette would do too.

"I'm sorry for hiding it from you...I was scared you will hate me."

After hearing him, she finally got a hang of the thing happening between Asher and Marinette.

She could accept the confession and use his feeling, that was the best way since Asher was a duke but she didn't.

"Asher, I have a fiance. And I never love you."

"Don't...don't say that."

"It's the truth. I'll pretend I didn't hear your confession." she turned her back and walked away from him ignoring all the tears he shed for her

"No...you're everything to me...Marinette, don't give me cold shoulder." he ran in front of her and hugged her tightly causing her to fall down on the soft grass.

The duke was on top of her body putting his hand on her hand and his blushing face was close to her.

"If it's the engagement, I can annul it for you...if you want to be the empress, I'll be the emperor." he didn't lie and there wasn't any bluff when he said that.

He closed his eyes and tried to put his lip on hers. His heart was pounding but it was the opposite for Marinette.

"Then can I ask you something?" his lip stopped and leaned back a little.

"What is it?"

"Does my feeling not matter to you when you're trying to kiss me like this?"

"You love me--"

"No, I don't. We've known each other since I was in the basement, you should know I'm lying or not."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Get your hand off me, I'm not your puppet." Marinette was going to use the death roses magic to push him away but luckily he took his hands off on time.

She brushed the dirt off her dress and then pulled Asher's collar.

"I wasn't angry about you being a duke or whatever but I felt betrayed."

"...Marinette--"

"You came to me whenever you felt sad, or your father abused you. You thought we're relatable so you befriended me. But when your father died, you were still lying to me that your father was still beating you."

"..." he didn't say anything except looking all guilty.

"I thought you were my only friend, but to you, I was only the thing you use to make yourself feel better. Was it fun lying to me? Fooling me around? Was it fun, Asher?"

"..."

"You have the power to take me out of the basement but you didn't, you kept me in there. There was even a time when I asked you to take me out, but you refused saying your father won't let you."

"...I'm sorry--"

"If you're sorry, just leave me alone. I already got out of the cage myself, I didn't need you anymore." she left him there all alone just like how he used to leave her in the basement when she asked him to take her with him.

To be continued....!