My Measurement: The Villain Desires a Satisfying Payback

Chapter 128: 122: Does My Choice Even Matter?

I had Emir shuffle the deck one more time.

"So, does that mean he's supposed to be punished or something?"

While we were waiting, Sophie asked a question to lessen the heaviness of the atmosphere that had been weighed down by the previous explanation from Emir.

"I don't know for sure. I can only say what the cards tell me, and I don't want to give you anything other than that because then you might misinterpret the meaning."

He responded by saying that what he had told me was the essence of what he had read in the card's meaning.

The closest thing to the truth that his Measurement knew through the divination.

Divination.

Finding the truth through cartomancy.

In a way, I could see that Emir's Measurement somewhat resembled my own.

"Does something bad happen if the meaning gets misinterpreted?"

Hearing Sophie's question, Emir shook his head.

"Not particularly. It just screws over the clarification and muddles things up a bit."

Having finished shuffling the deck, Emir looked alternately between Sophie and me and said.

"In the end, it's how you react to the message given to you that matters."

"It could be that listening to my divination will change your fate."

"Or, it could be that my divination is exactly the thing that will determine your fate."

"Destiny, or a self-fulfilling prophecy."

"I don't know what it will turn out to be."

"And it could be that neither of those things come true."

"All I can say is this:"

"Trying to forcibly change your fate doesn't usually go down well."

"On the other hand, sitting still and accepting it doesn't always make things better, either."

"So, at the end of the day."

He spread the upside-down cards across the table like before.

"What you should do is aim for the future you desire."

"Not focusing on the future you wish to avoid."

"But rather the future you seek."

Leaning back in his seat, he told me with an unreadable gaze.

"Ultimately, it's just that."

"Doing what you can."

"Doing what you feel you should do."

"Shooting for the goal you want to score."

"After all, no one knows what lies at the end of a path no one has trekked before."

"The only way to figure that out is to go down the path yourself."

"The only decision you have to make then is what path to trek."

"That's your choice."

Will choosing a particular path branch off from fate's foretold road?

Or will the path I pick, no matter which one it is, lead to the same destination all the same?

Naturally, there was no way to receive an answer.

Emir was right in that all I could do?all anyone could do to figure it out is walk their chosen path themselves.

But at that point, is it still my own choice?

What if even the choice I make?the choice I feel I am making?turns out to be a predetermined fate, too?

If I make a choice, is it really my choice, or is it a choice I only think I am making of my own volition?

It could be that the choice I make, no matter what it is, is the choice I was predetermined to take from the very beginning.

And if that's the case, then there really is no point in agonising over a decision.

Because, at the end of the day, what would it matter?

If the choice I make is not my own.

If everything that happens in life was predetermined before you were even born.

Living a life while knowing nothing you did really made a difference in the outcome.

Would anyone be satisfied living in a world like that?

"Draw five cards."

"Five?"

"Yes. As there are countless smaller details when it comes to proper divination, everything is taken into account. That results in there being a lot to say."

The subject was undeniably bizarre, but hearing that wide-scale fortune-telling required more cards to effectively tell, it didn't seem strange to me.

So, I just need to pick five cards.

Instead of just one card, this time the number is five.

Despite the fact I have to pick four more, though, the pressure didn't feel nearly as heavy as last time.

Stretching out my hand, I dragged one card from around the middle-left side of the row.

I was about to flip it over when Emir hurriedly stopped me.

"Ah, wait! Don't flip them over until you've selected all five."

"...Is that how it works?"

I nodded and let go of the card.

So, that was one.

Four remain.

I contemplated which cards to pick.

To be honest, the situation felt peculiar.

I wasn't agonising over a single pick of a card like earlier, but, calmly, I found myself sitting in a world of mysticism unlike anything else.

I didn't know if this was just a feeling I got or if it was real, but it really felt like the hand fate dealt me was being slowly revealed to my eyes.

An odd feeling.

Something satisfying, relieving, yet unnerving and moderately frightening.

Was it ever this easy?

Moving my hand to the right side of the pack, I drew a second card at random.

Like before, everyone watched me in silence.

"..."

Naturally, I had doubts.

Could selecting these cards without a clue as to what they even are, truly tell me my fate?

Was it a fool's errand?

Was it the simple curiosity of man?

Or was it something more?

I don't know the answer.

No one does.

But, I found myself doing it anyway.

Am I wasting my time?

I'm not sure, but I didn't think so.

I realise it.

How different I am from my past self.

If it were the me from before, I would've spat in your face and laughed if you told me I would be sitting down and taking this divination bullshit seriously.

However, despite the fact it seemed like nonsense.

I knew it instinctively.

Despite how preposterous it looked from the outside.

Was it wrong?

There's no way it could be.

That's why I didn't get angry or frustrated at Emir's words before.

After all, they must be true.

What he said; what my fate is supposed to be.

Strangely enough, I wasn't in denial about it.

I've seen so much evidence until now that correlates too much to be a mere coincidence if that was the case.

Even I don't know exactly why, but it just turned out that way.

Was this the power of fate?

First Liam, now this.

From the beginning, the world never intended for me to have it good, right?

No, even before Liam discovered the 'hell' within me.

Ten years ago.

The day I escaped the Wardens' Playground.

What happened that day?

That's what I've been trying to figure out.

I realised a while ago that it probably had something to do with something much larger than myself.

Something outside the realm of human understanding.

Something dreadful.

I had wondered about something like that.

And now.

Fate.

The future.

My destiny.

The very purpose behind my existence.

The world and its structure.

What could be the origin of it all?

What could be the thing that first set it all in motion?

That I can think of, there is only one answer.

"..."

I discarded a dark thought to the depths of my mind.

Drawing two more pieces from arbitrary places in the shuffled row of cards before me, I closed my eyes.

Pieces of my destiny, my life, my future.

That's what they were.

Indications, perhaps ones that portended something ominous.

No, it was most definitely going to be a sinister result.

Taking all the signs so far into consideration, it has to be.

There was one card left for me to pick.

Opening my eyes, I glanced at everyone around me, but they were simply spectators in this game.

They watched on with anticipation, but they didn't dare interrupt.

In a way, it was funny how such a plain and basic activity like picking some plastic cards could evoke such tension.

But, although I jest, I was no different.

In fact, perhaps I was the most tense of all.

Subconsciously.

Because I knew there was no turning back.

Because I knew that I wouldn't like what I was about to hear.

Still.

I had to see it through.

That, if it even mattered, was my choice.

"..."

I picked a final card.

With the selection process finished, Emir quietly gathered the rest of the untouched cards and put them aside.

"Alright."

Sorting the five cards in the order I chose them, he placed them into one row of three on top and one row of two on the bottom. Then, he looked at me.

"Before we begin, I'll give a quick explanation of how this works so you understand. Firstly, the top row of three will represent your fate; these cards are the ones that will give an indication of what is to come in the future, so they are typically the most important."

I nodded.

"What's the bottom two?"

"Well, it's complex. The bottom two cards are supplementary cards, and they're quite flexible, so they can either give us a spiritual insight into you, or, they can give some supporting context as to the primary three cards. It all depends on how we interpret them."

"I thought you were supposed to give answers with no chance of misinterpretation."

"I do give readings with no misinterpretations; that doesn't mean I don't have to think carefully about the interpretation I'm reading, though. I don't want to make a mistake and tell you something that isn't true just because I couldn't read it properly."

I suppressed a sigh that was rising up. Now, things were just getting unnecessarily complicated.

"It's fine, don't worry. Usually, it turns out that the two bottom cards do a bit of both of those things anyway, but I'll tell you the general feeling I get from it when we flip them over."

He then placed a finger on the top-left-most card.

"Anyway, we'll start here."

Flipping it over, Emir revealed the face of the card.

It was a card in reverse.

Card number X.

"The Wheel of Fortune, huh... Well, that's to be expected since we're talking about fate. Let's see..."

Closing his eyes for a moment, Emir soon nodded and relayed what he saw.

"To put it bluntly, it's not good."

"Oh, that's fantastic news."

I replied with a straight face, but nobody laughed despite my obvious sarcasm.

"No, seriously, it's pretty bad."

Leaning back in my seat and lightly exhaling through my nose, I already found myself dispirited.

"How so?"

"Well, the Wheel of Fortune card is one that revolves around fate, right?"

"And?"

"And, what I'm reading states that fate is absolutely unchanging."

Fate is unchanging.

"It says that, whether you sit at the top or the bottom, no decision you make will change your fate."

No decision I make will change my fate.

"Also, as the card is in reverse, it means you are being haunted by misfortune."

Haunted by misfortune.

"There are external powers in the world you cannot control, and these influence your life more than you know."

Influenced by external powers outside my control.

"It comes with a warning."

"..."

"'Don't cling to the illusion of control, for no choice nor decision you contemplate or agonise over will matter in the end'."

I shut my eyes.

So, do I aim for the future I desire, or do I not?

As I listened silently to Emir's words, I couldn't help but think.

What a great start.