My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Chapter 166 - Loved And Unloved

She needn't elaborate any further than that. I think I knew where this was going. My assumptions and deductions were like automated railroad tracks for my train of thought to keep chugging on full speed to the conclusion.

Looks like Howard's imagination wasn't so far off from the actuality all along. Instead of the Six Servants of Terestra - reality's rendition of it gave us Six Children instead.

Six half-siblings.

Come on… you can't just fling the long-lost siblings twist at me and expect me to be okay with it, Mom. That's just playing dirty, real fucking dirty… how the hell am I supposed to react to that?

"Surprised?" 

Mom's eyes were a sympathetic sight, I half-expected her to reach out and gently ruffle my hair with her fingers. But I guess even she knew there was a better time and place for doing that.

And this certainly wasn't it.

I buried my face into my palms, felt the warmth of my breath press against them, heard the exasperation in my voice, like a muffled echo funneling directly into my ears. 

"It's like the more I know about you, the less I actually know you - who are you even?"

"I'm your mother," I could hear the hurt in her voice. "That has never changed even for a second."

"After all this, it's just - "

"Honesty. It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"It's what I needed," I tore away my hands, feeling the downward slant in my brows. "Long before we even got to this point."

Didn't refute, didn't even respond, Mom sat there with silence as her answer. 

I moved on.

"So these siblings of mine… why did you leave them?"

"I didn't leave them," Mom said matter-of-factly. "I thought I killed them."

Felt my eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets. "You wanted them dead?"

"I destroyed an entire realm," Still so stoic. "I didn't do that with any survivors in mind."

"Why?"

"Fresh start. Your father and I. Just the two of us. Then two became three… then three became four. Then the four of you were all I needed in my life."

Those words that were no doubt endearing, just really weren't with the context overlaid over them. How could she smile so fondly saying that?

"You tried to kill your children."

"Yes, I did."

I gulped, swallowing hard. "Would you kill Sammy? Me?"

"No," She said at once. "I'd never. Don't even entertain the thought."

"How? How can I not?! When you just admitted to something like that - how can I believe you?!" 

"Because I love you. I love you so, so much. You and your sister."

"And your other children?" I stood up, hasty movement that nearly tumbled the chair. "Did you love them too?"

I loomed over her now, stared down at her now, but her solemn gaze somehow still towered over me in heights I'll never reach. 

"No," For the first time, I heard a voice so frigid and cold. "They meant nothing to me."

I wanted to press on, delve deeper into the inner workings of her sense of morality - but something about her tone, something about her expression reined me back from doing so. 

I moved on again, and the moment I did, that expression was gone.

"These other six, why are they looking for you?" 

"That's kind of an obvious question, isn't it?" She said, smiling again. "Comeuppance is the word. I try to kill them, now they'll try to kill me. It's as simple as that."

"They haven't found you?"

"They haven't found us," She corrected. "And so long as I play the part of your average everyday housewife, they never will."

"So that's why you can't use your powers?"

Mom nodded. "My powers are… we'll call them unique. You won't sense any other like it. I stand out like a sore thumb - a little too much frazzle dazzle, and they'll know at once. I can't risk it, and I won't risk it."

Before I could ask my next question, she had already beaten me to the punch.

"And no, I'd rather not confront them. I might be a Goddess, but they are six of them and only one of me - even with your father, I'd dare say they'd prove more than a match for the both of us. I might die - you might die, Samantha… I won't lose you both."

I think it was that that left me more gobsmacked than anything else. There wasn't even any embellishment to it, nothing to draw attention - but even then, it was hard for something like to fly over one's head.

It was an admittance of weakness - that was her, a Goddess, saying she couldn't - that she wasn't on the highest pedestal of the food chain, that those six combined formed a bigger fish in the ocean that she could never possibly hope to contend with.

And they were out there somewhere, scouring, looking… for her. What happens if they do find her?  I didn't even want to think about it. In fact, I really shouldn't. There's the here and now to worry about, and the here and now to resolve.

"The Blight…" I pinched the bridge of my nose, glancing out the open window. "If you can't do anything about it…"

"Then you can."

My eyes immediately went veering back to her, my eyelids batting dumbfoundedly at the utter confidence that was plastered across her face.

"I had quite a nice time having a small chat with your friends downstairs," She explained. "Ruria told me you have formulated a plan to sort all this out. I like it. Summoning a being from a fictional world that is both a Listener and a Speaker. It's ingenious, actually, and I would never have expected anything less from you."

There was that smile, glowing so proud and bright.

"So you think it's actually possible?" I asked.

"Ordinarily, I would have said not a chance," She said. "But you're your mother's son… you'll do it, I know you will."

I scoffed, very nearly chuckled. "You talked to Irene - surely she's told you how magically inept I am, hasn't she?" 

"She's mentioned that you are… struggling, I suppose. But that's only because you grew up never once tapping into your abilities. Magic is like a muscle… if you've never used it, you won't have any idea how to in the first place."

"Sammy broke concrete with her bare knuckles. Must have been flexing that muscle quite a bit in her case, huh?"

"That's just emotion, dear," She reassured. "Strong emotions elicit strong reactions. Ruria told me of your misadventures with Amelia and Adalia, don't tell me you've never once experienced something similar to that… something you couldn't quite explain?"

Was about to tell her that I didn't, that I was as magically incompetent back then as I was now. Then I realized that maybe that wasn't really the case. I remembered distinctly, when Ash was still a puppet, when she gave chase to Ria and I… when all hope seemed lost.

I shouted at her, yelled myself almost hoarse, told her to stop at once and against all odds - she actually obeyed.

Was that Subjugation?

Did I inadvertently…?

Mom had a wide-open smile on full display. Guess she knew exactly what just happened to dawn on me.

"You see?" She said. "That's my boy."

"Okay… maybe I'm not as useless as I thought," I muttered. "Still, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need more than just emotions to pull off this summoning."

"Right you are. Practice makes perfect, and you're going to need a lot of it. Just don't forget your FDIs and you'll be just fine. Remember - focus, determination, and intent."

Focus, determination, and intent… yeah… 

"Can I assume you'll be staying to show me the ropes?" 

Mom didn't say anything. Just smiled.

I sat myself back down, sighing as I did. "Guess not…"

"Sorry, dear…"

"How come?" I asked.

"Your sister is going to need me far more than you do," Mom said, standing up for the first time. "I have to be there for her. Samantha's an emotional girl… you know that."

"But you can't just leave me in this mess."

"Oh but I'm not," She walked towards me. "You got your friends, don't you?"

"I have days."

"Well, I have faith. Complete total faith."

She reached a hand forward, slowly and gently, I thought she was gonna do it - that little pat on my head that she always loved to do. She didn't. Her hand glided past me and gripped the edge of a small plate.

"Cake's going to be wasted just sitting there," She said, drawing it back with both hands. "Amanda's taken a liking to it, luckily… I'll pass this to her."

Heck was that? Reverse psychology? Trying to raise some feeling of guilt for not partaking in chocolatey goodness?

Well, well, dear mother… I'll have you now right - it's actually working.

She didn't take a single step further before I pried away the plate from her hands with one swift tug. Took one glance at it, one look at that foamy shimmering layer of brownness, then without another second wasted, sliced a chunk with a fork and took a bite.

Did all this just to make her smile…

Even after everything…

Least I can call myself a filial child, if nothing else. 

"Good?" She asked, grinning wide.

I swallowed. "Delicious."