My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Chapter 471 - That Painful Feeling

It was a bad cut. Multiple gashes, different places; it's like I squeezed a glass bottle too hard, and its shattered pieces pulled a martyrdom on me. 

Took a while for the bleeding to finally stop, and yes, it seriously stung as bad as it looked, still though… I had experienced worse, much, much worse. Strangely enough, that didn't exactly help assuage Adalia's guilt much.

I kept us drifting, swimming - this wasn't going to stop our time together - but as much as she tried, as much as wanted to, she couldn't stop herself from staring at my wounds, my hand intertwined with hers. It was all she could think about, I could see it, to the point that I even knew what was on her mind next before she even had a chance to act upon it.

"Don't say you're sorry again," I said, barging ungraciously into her deep contemplation. "I know you want to be, I know you feel like you should be, but then how long will you stay sorry for?" 

"Until… you feel… better…" 

"I am better," I assured her, briefly letting her hand go to make a point of that, waving and wiggling my fingers without a single flinch in my expression. "The question now is - how long do you want me to keep saying it until you feel better?"

When I reached for her hand again, she very nearly shrunk away on impulse - as if I was about to deliberately skewer myself into the tips of her claws - it was a slow, careful, nearly agonizing process as she warily slid her fingers again between my own. 

"Are you gonna keep doing that every time we have to hold hands?" I asked, a little amused by her newfound hand-holding procedure.

"I don't want… to hurt you… anymore…" She said with great resolve. "I must… learn… to be careful…" 

If that's what she wants, in that case, then… 

I pulled my hand off hers again, raising it out in front of her with a smile. "Do it again," I said.

And so she did, still just as slow, just as cautious, and just like before, I pulled away.

"Again."

By then, she had already caught on as to what I was trying to do, nevertheless, she complied, her hand soft against mine, carefully, gently.

"It's not… about… practice…" She muttered, when I broke away again.

"Yeah, it's confidence, it's assurance," I said, feeling her fingers intertwining once more. "And right now you don't have any."

"I have never been… around humans… for so long…" She muttered. "You are… the first…"

I gave that statement a dubious look. "Half-human, technically."

"Human… nonethe… less…" 

Her claws lightly grazed my knuckles as she curled her fingers, their sharp edges just a slight nudge away from piercing skin. 

"And you… especially…" She said. "Bleed so… easily…"

"Yep, just one of the wondrous wonders of mortality," I said with a whimsical sigh. "Trip and fall the wrong way, and that's us done. The world's a real dangerous place for us poor souls."

"So… am I…" Adalia paused, blinking, wondering. "But you… trust me… even so…"

"You rather I didn't?"

"By… right…" She steadied her gaze. "You… shouldn't…"

"No, you're wrong," I simply told her. "You sliced me, you're biased, your statement's invalid."

"I am fine… if you don't…" Adalia said, stubbornly continuing the thought. 

I remained stubborn too. "But I do. Live with it. Slice me all you want, Adalia, but you're not severing that trust."

"You are… comforting… me…" She suddenly remarked. "Saying… what I want to hear… what I want… you to say to me… why…?

Once again, this girl proves to easily hear more than what was said, yet coming only so close to actually understanding it all.

"Because obviously, I'm not the one that needs the pat on the back," I answered. "Just tell me one thing - is it working?"

She nodded.

"But…"

Always a but…

"Aren't you… afraid…?" She asked, the tips of her claws staring right at me. "Weren't… you…?" 

We were drifting close to the center of the lake again, the water calm, the ambiance peaceful. It was probably a beautiful view, I could only guess, because that's not where I was focused on.

"I used to be," I admitted. "Before, I couldn't even look at your fangs or claws without having to swallow down a lump in my throat. Having you suddenly live with me, it took some getting used to."

As usual, she was as receptive as a brick wall. No reaction, apart from nudging her head slightly.

"But now I'm not anymore, see?" I said in cheer. "That's what we call character development around these parts."

"That is… strange…"

I narrowed my brows. "Is it?"

"There is no reason… for the change… no…"

"No reason?" I interjected, smiling in amazement. "Adalia, I'm staring right at it, search my eyes, and I guarantee you'll find her in all her gentle, considerate, and kind glory staring right back."

Did she really just forget everything that we have done up to this point? Or did she just decide to overlook it, decide it probably didn't count? Well, I've been counting. So many reasons, so many instances, to be able to hold her close now without fearing a thing. 

"I may bleed easy, Adalia," I said. "But ultimately, I know it isn't me that gets hurt the most by it. I stopped bleeding a long time ago already… have you?" 

Adalia was quiet, the longest quiet, and the longest stare, nothing could faze her, oblivious to any and all around her, as still as the serene currents, but I could still feel her moving, the shifting in my palm… the slight tightening sensation between my fingers. 

"You… forgive… too easily…" She finally said, a whisper nearly deafened by a passing breeze. "Sister… would say… you'd be… an easy target… to manipulate…" 

My head fell into a slump… man, even when that foul-tempered bull isn't here, I'm still subjected to her taunts, but still, "True enough, I guess..."

"You're kind… too…" Adalia continued on. "Much too… kind…" 

I let out a sigh. "Let me guess, that makes me naive?" 

"To many… yes…" She affirmed, then before I could fall back slumping, she said. "But it is… because of… that same kindness… that I am… still alive… it saved me… you… saved me…" 

"If you say you want to repay me for that, don't, I don't want you to," I immediately said. "You owe me nothing. What you do for me, I don't want it to be through some stupid moral obligation, but because you're a friend, you're my friend."

"Kind… again…" came a soft mutter through faintly curved lips. "That's why… it hurts so… much… to see you hurt…" slowly, she pressed a hand against her chest, her claws poking hard against her bare, pale skin, but it wouldn't pierce. "This painful… feeling… inside… I feel it…"

Feel. That's not a word she throws around lightly.

"Not guilt… not sadness…" She went on. "I don't know… this feeling…" 

A feeling...

"I... don't know what... it is..."

But I think I do. 

"Love," I said.

"Love…?" She repeated, looking up at me, confused, lost. "This is… love…? This pain… this… aching…? It hurts… so much… are you… sure…?" 

So sharp with others, so blind when it came to herself…

"Only one way to find out…" I swallowed a breath, her hand still in mine, I pulled it close, pulled her close. Ripples, splashes, the serenity assailed. Her touch, her cold, I embraced them. My arms wrapping around her slender frame. I felt her freeze, heard her faint gasp. I held onto her tighter, and for a while, we stayed as we were. 

"Well?" I whispered. "What do you feel now?" 

Adalia was close, closer than she's ever been to me before. I could feel the icy cold of her breath grazing my neck, the way her damp silver hair clung strands onto my shoulders, and her stare, I could see it, beyond the murkiness, beyond the misty white fog, it's always been there, but never seen, I was always never close enough, but it was there, her true feelings, her emotions, unbarred, reflecting right back at me.

"It hurts… still…" She said, then, across my back, I felt her arms hold me back. "But... for some reason... I want… to feel it more… I don't want it… to ever stop… never…" 

I smiled upon hearing that, releasing the heavy breath that I was holding out into the air. "Then that means I'm right, after all. Congrats Adalia, you're officially in love." 

"Hmm…" A clueless noise, a clueless whimper, as we slowly broke apart from each other. As always, her expression did not betray the vacantness in her voice. "How do you… know that… for sure…?" 

What was with this suspicion? This distrust? Can't she just take my word for it like she always does? Or is this Mom's influence acting up again? Action speaks louder than words, she said.

In that case…

I leaned a little forward, just only slightly, enough to let her know, enough for proof, my lips grazed hers, and I felt a cold, a sharpness, her fangs poking, before drawing myself away right back. 

Anyone else, that would have been enough. Adalia, however, lightly brushed a finger across her lips, and cocked her head ever so slight. 

"Why did… you do… that…?"  She whispered, batting her eyes at me. 

"Your proof," I said, feeling a little awkward now after the fact. "Uh, should I have… not of?"

"The feeling… is even stronger…" She stared blankly at her surroundings. "What does… it mean…?" 

"Like I said - that's love." 

"How… do you…" 

"Because I feel it too," I immediately interjected. "What you're feeling, what you're experiencing, it's the same with me. I felt it before. And I'm feeling it now."

She blinked, staring again. "With… me…?"

"With you," I nodded. "I love you." 

Her hand, she clutched at her chest again. "Oh…"