Netori King: I Will NTR Everyone!

Chapter 99: Chapter99-Confession of Guilt

The taxi driver, a grizzled man with kind eyes, glanced at me through the rearview mirror. "Where to, buddy?" he asked, his voice gruff but not unkind.

"Central Park," I replied, my voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded, no questions asked, and pulled into traffic.

As the city blurred past, my thoughts spiraled.

Was that the right decision?

I couldn't stop thinking about the talk with my mom.

I should have talked with her more instead of just leaving so quickly.

But, oh, well, I still felt a little happiness in my heart with that confession...

She must have done everything she could to keep herself together...

"..."

I did my best to stay calm, even though I knew that the place I was heading to would likely make me cry, like it always does...

***

The ride seemed to stretch on forever, the city's vibrant life a stark contrast to the turmoil inside me.

I stared out the window, watching people go about their lives, oblivious to the storm raging within me.

The driver, sensing my need for silence, kept the radio off and drove steadily, his presence a quiet comfort.

We finally arrived at Central Park.

I handed him the fare with a shaky hand and muttered a thank you before stepping out.

The fresh air hit me like a balm, but it wasn't enough to calm the tempest inside...

I wandered aimlessly, the park's greenery a blur around me.

I found a secluded bench near a small pond, away from the throngs of people.

Sitting down, I let my head fall into my hands, the tears I had fought so hard to contain finally breaking free....

So, here I am again... The same place where I decided I would propose to her...

The place where my love for her first blossomed...

I cried for the love I had declared, for the uncertainty of her response, for the fear of rejection, and for the overwhelming sense of loneliness that had been my companion these past days...

I wasn't at my best...

I was truly in the most pathetic situation...

Time seemed to lose meaning as I sat there, the world moving on around me.

Eventually, my tears slowed, and I took a deep, shaky breath, feeling oddly relieved.

That's when I heard footsteps coming closer...

I looked up, my vision blurred, and saw her standing there with concern on her face.

So, it's happening again

I sighed.

I had become used to seeing illusions of her since she passed away.

The place I saw her most often was this park, where we spent so much time together when we were younger.

She must have followed me...

She didn't say anything and just sat next to me on the bench...

I knew it was just an illusion, but...

Her presence was still comforting, and her silence was soothing to my broken heart.

After what felt like forever, she finally spoke. "I didn't know you felt that way," she said quietly. "But I'm glad you told me."

I turned to look at her, searching her eyes for any hint of her feelings.

She reached out and held my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I can't promise anything right now," she went on, "but I care about you. A lot. And I want to figure this out. Together..."

"Together, together?"

"Hahahaha!"

I started laughing uncontrollably.

"Seriously? Why didn't you tell me this when you were alive? What's the point of saying it now?" I asked, with tears starting to form in my eyes.

She answered, "I wanted to, but it was just too late."

"Yeah, your answer is always the same... too late... I realized too late?"

She looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

"Now what? Again silence? Are you going to leave me in silence again, just like you did back then?"

She always left at this point in the conversation without any reason.

I've always wondered why she left at this moment. Why not earlier or later?

"You know," she said softly, "if only you had saved me, things could have been different. I always thought you'd come through somehow."

The words struck me like a blow.

I was shocked to hear her words again.

This was the first time she had ever continued our conversation past this point.

But more than shock, another feeling gripped me tightly.

Guilt.

Her words made me feel guilty.

I felt my heart tighten...

"Saved you? I tried! I did everything I could," I protested, my voice breaking. "But I couldn't... I couldn't save you."

I didn't know why, but for some reason, I also felt anger in my heart, causing me to lose my cool.

She shook her head slowly, her gaze distant. "It's not about what you did or didn't do. It's about what could have been. If only you had fought harder, if only you had found a way."

The blame in her words was a bitter pill to swallow. Her words made me feel even sadder because deep down, I knew the truth...

I felt a surge of unknown emotions rise within me. "I... I was powerless! I couldn't control everything, and I couldn't always be there. You know that!" My voice cracked with the weight of my emotions.

But in my heart, I knew I wasn't powerless at all... I could have done something...

She looked down, her expression filled with regret. "I know you did your best. It's just... I wish things had turned out differently. I wish you hadn't had to carry this burden alone."

I stared at her, struggling to hold back my tears. "I didn't want to be alone. I wanted to save you, but... It was..."

I couldn't speak anymore.

My face was covered in tears again. I felt like a crybaby.

But I didn't feel embarrassed by it. I was frustrated and broken inside, and I couldn't control it anymore.

"Maybe... maybe... Emi, you're right. Maybe I could have saved you. I... uhhh...I was just comforting... Uhh... myself with all those excuses. I... I'm so sorry! Uhhh I couldn't save you!"

Now, my condition was so bad that I could barely speak, with pain in my heart, mind, and a face full of tears.

In the end, I couldn't take any more and, slowly changed my mind and accepted my guilt instead of comforting myself with excuses.

As I sat there, tears streaming down my face, the illusion of her began to shimmer, as if struggling to hold her form in place.

The park around us was now a distant, hazy backdrop to the raw pain I felt.

She reached out and gently cupped my face in her hands, her touch soft but firm. "Michael! Stop blaming yourself," she said softly, her voice filled with an almost pleading tone. "It's not your fault. You did everything you could."

Her words were like a lifeline, but my anguish was too deep. "But you... you said things could have been different if only I'd fought harder. How can I stop blaming myself when I hear that?"

She took a deep breath, her eyes filled with a deep sadness. "I said those things because I wanted you to understand the weight of it all. I wanted you to realize how much I needed you, how much I wanted us to make it through together. But I didn't mean to make you feel guilty."

I looked at her, struggling to understand. "Then why did you keep saying it was too late? Why did you always leave me with this feeling of regret?"

"It wasn't about blaming you," she explained, her voice trembling. "It was about conveying the depth of my feelings and the hope that maybe, just maybe, we could find a way to mend what was broken. I wanted you to know how much you meant to me, even in the end."

I tried to process her words, feeling a mix of relief and confusion. "So, what am I supposed to do now? How do I stop feeling this way?"

"Accept that you did your best," she said gently. "You have to let go of the guilt and forgive yourself. You're carrying a burden that wasn't entirely yours to bear. I wanted you to move forward, to find peace and healing, instead of being stuck in this cycle of blame."

Her words struck a chord deep within me.

The realization that she had wanted me to find peace, rather than dwell in self-reproach, began to sink in. "I don't know if I can completely let go of the guilt," I admitted, my voice shaky. "But I'll try. I really will."

She nodded, her figure starting to fade again, but her expression was softer now. "That's all I ask. Remember, it's okay to hurt, but it's also okay to heal. You have the strength to move forward, even if it doesn't feel like it right now."

As her image began to dissolve, I felt a new sense of understanding settling in.

The park, though still a place of sadness, now held a different meaning.

I had been given a chance to let go of some of the burden I had carried for so long.

"Thank you," I whispered, feeling the weight of her words lift slightly from my shoulders. "I'll try to remember that."

I looked at her one last time, my heart heavy with both sorrow....

"I'll try to remember the good times we had, and I'll try to live with the knowledge that I did my best. I hope you find peace, wherever you are."

With a final, lingering look, she slowly began to fade away. Her voice was soft as she whispered, "Thank you. I hope you find peace too."

As she disappeared, I was left alone on the bench...

The park was quiet once more, but the heavy cloud of guilt seemed to lift just a bit.

I sat there for a while longer, taking deep breaths, allowing myself to start the process of healing.

I rubbed my eyes to get rid of the tears. After a few moments of calming down, I got up and started walking aimlessly to clear my head.

Even though it was just an illusion, it did help me pull myself together.

After wandering the streets for an hour, I looked at my left wrist and, realized I couldn't see my watch on my left wrist.

Oh no, not again...

Since waking up from that dream, I kept checking my left wrist for a watch, forgetting I wasn't dreaming. In reality, I wasn't wearing one, even though I own a bunch of cheap ones.

Damn...

I rubbed my forehead in frustration.

Why can't I stop thinking about that dream?

I checked my phone and saw I had 30 minutes left before I needed to head back...

**HORN**

**HORN**

My surroundings had changed.

I was now beside a busy shopping mall, where the city's noise seemed to come alive.

The traffic light was red, and cars were stopped, their engines idling.

In front of me, a large crowd of people moved across the streets, crossing the crosswalks in a steady stream.

The lively energy of the crowd stood out against the stillness of the parked cars, creating a lively picture of city life.

I glanced at the shopping mall, and an intrusive thought popped into my head: Why not go inside and do some jogging?

Even though I knew it wouldn't really help, the idea was so strong that I couldn't resist.

I went into the mall and ended up just wandering around...

After ten minutes of wandering around, I left the mall because the workers inside kept staring at me for some reason.

Maybe it was because I accidentally ended up in the women's clothing section, which probably made me look creepy...

I really suck...

What a way to be kicked out of the mall.

As I was leaving the shopping mall, I heard a cry for help.

"Help! Someone, please help me!"

The voice sounded very familiar, like I had heard it before.

I looked around, trying to find where the scream was coming from.

When I finally saw the source, I was so shocked that my mouth dropped open.

Why?

Because across the street, I saw a man in a black jersey holding a blood-covered knife. He was chasing an office worker who had been stabbed in the shoulder.

What shocked me was that the office worker and the man with the knife looked exactly like the people from my dream. The jersey, the knifethere was no way they weren't the same.

What's happening? Were they deadwait, that was just a dream

It didn't take me long to realize something unbelievablehad I just seen the future?

While I was trying to make sense of it, the victim tried to escape, but the man caught up and stabbed him in the back.

Just like in my dream, the man kept stabbing the victim over and over, until the area was covered in a sea of blood.

People were running in all directions, creating chaos everywhere except where the murderer and the body were.

Then, growing bored with the dead office worker, the man started looking for his next target.

His attention was drawn to a high school girl who had collapsed in shock, unable to move after witnessing the brutal murder...

The man hurried toward the girl.

I knew this was going to happen.

There was no way to avoid this scene...

I stood there, accepting what was happening.

But one thing would be different this time:

I wouldn't act impulsively and try to help the girl.

No, I wasn't going to save her today.

Why should I? We're total strangers. I don't know her, and she doesn't know me.

Plus, it's not my responsibility.

This time, I decided to do the opposite of what I did before. I wouldn't make that choice again...

But it seemed like destiny was against my plan, as something that was supposed to happen didn't occur...

In other words, the plot changed when I least expected it...

How?

That is...