abcnovels
Chapter 100
Chapter 100
Chapter 100
TL: KSD
The term ‘artistic variety’ originally referred to overall artistic ability, but now it is used as an abbreviation for <entertainment programs>.
Thus, ‘variety show’ has become so ingrained in the daily lives of modern people that it has changed the original meaning of the word.
Who hasn’t experienced a warm moment when they come home tired from enduring the harshness of society, turn on the TV, and chuckle at a joke from a variety show?
However, the world of variety shows is cruel.
Unlike ‘dramas’ that are planned to end after 12 or 24 episodes, in the merciless world of variety shows, there’s no such thing. They start immediately.
So when do they end?
When the ratings drop, that’s when.
EP 7-Isomer
From the moment a variety show is born, it must prove itself solely on talent. Otherwise, it dies.Even a variety show that was once popular cannot be complacent. The moment the ratings drop, it dies.
The ‘Squid Game’ isn’t far off. There’s a reason why it’s rare for shows to leave on a high note.
Therefore, only strength!
Only ratings are everything!
Behind the friendly smiles of the variety show world lies the cruel law of the survival of the fittest.
However, even in the harsh world of cutthroat variety shows where one must prove oneself through talent alone, there are exceptions.
“What kind of plan is this?”
It’s a <planned variety show>.
Like a pre-produced drama, the beginning and end of the variety show are perfectly planned and produced as a ready-made broadcast.
A seasonal variety show produced by a star PD or a survival variety show with all the efforts of a broadcasting station, such planned variety shows naturally have a higher chance of success than ordinary variety shows that are just thrown into the industry.
But there’s a reason why planned variety shows don’t always come out well.
It’s because of money.
“You know we don’t have money, yet you talk like this.”
Producing one proper large-scale planned variety show isn’t cheap. The ambitious plan from the Variety Department of BMB was slammed on the desk of the production director.
The head of the Variety Department cried out in despair, louder than he had ever been beaten down himself.
“Di-, Director…!”
“Oh! Don’t pretend to be pitiful! Don’t you know the atmosphere at the broadcasting station is bad right now? What would the CEO say if you cry out for money while everyone is talking about layoffs and cuts?”
After the government began toying with the <Comprehensive Channel Reapproval Examination> card, the life of the CEO of BMB became utterly miserable.
Normally, there’s a board of directors above the CEO of a broadcasting station, but at Baekhak Cultural Broadcasting, there’s the ‘headquarters’ above him.
In this terrifying lair called Baekhak Media Group, even CEO-level executives are not the top predators.
However, as the saying goes that even a dog eating shit advances a half step in its own territory, everyone at the station was avoiding CEO’s ‘displeasure’ and chanting ‘we are extremely grateful’. (TL: Didn’t find any English equivalent of the proverb but it means something like ‘A home court advantage’)
But the perspective of the head of the Variety Department was a bit different.
The director pleaded with the production director.
“That’s why now is the opportunity!”
“What…!”
The head of the Variety Department calmly explained the ingenious solution that the smart minds of the Variety Department had come up with.
Contrary to the production director’s worries, their crazy idea was not <to spectacularly succeed with a large-scale planned variety show and smack the Broadcasting Committee into a negotiation with the government>.
That would be a thought only the anonymous upper echelons of the Empire J, who had delegated some of their brain functions to a bowl of udon noodles, would have. (TL: Referencing to Japanese empire)
It was closer to <if the broadcasting station bursts a hit variety show when in crisis, it could become a hero>.
The head of the Variety Department argued the need to make a variety show a national hit at this point.
“Really, even if our station doesn’t get shut down, once the Comprehensive Channel Reapproval pass is issued, a slump will come. Right? Celebrities will avoid us, and investments will withdraw…”
“That would be likely.”
“But at that point, if a profitable variety show pops up! If we firmly declare that our station is back in business nationally? Then it’s game over at that moment.”
‘He’s talking nonsense.’
No one could deny that the head of the Variety Department spoke in a variety-like manner. However, the production director did not scold the Variety Department head by revealing his intentions.
No matter how fanciful it sounded, if it actually came true, it wouldn’t be nonsense. And the Variety Department head he knew was someone capable of making it happen.
“Well, let’s hear it. What’s this item that you’re making such a fuss about?”
The Variety Department head had been waiting just for these words, and his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm.
He saw it.
There is a certain flow in the culture of this country. And this flow circulates, stealing the hearts of all people at least once.
The types of trends are quite diverse: Trot, parenting, classical singing, retro, alter egos, idol survival, observational, streaming, travel, jungle, cooking, and so on…
In this ever-changing world of variety shows, predicting the next era’s trend is extremely difficult.
But the Variety Department head, licking his lips with his tongue without hesitation, confidently named it.
“It’s literature.”
“What?”
“The literature boom… is coming!”
Signs were already being observed.
Following the emergence of a genius Literary Boy, various variety show PDs had begun to frequently invite novelists as guests or panelists.
This was a swift reflection of the public’s growing interest in literature. And such attempts often provided a tasty boost in viewership.
However, no one had ever boldly featured ‘literature’ itself as the main keyword.
After ‘Let’s Read Books’ miserably vanished from the variety show scene, everyone feared and felt burdened by the subject of ‘literature’.
“But it’s those who take a step further in such times who become the final victors…!”
“Hmm…!”
“So, Director! Please reconsider just once more!”
The head of the department exclaimed.
“Literature-based variety shows!”
“…!!!”
The passion of the Variety Department head finally reached the production director.
The proposal stamped by the production director finally went up to the CEO, and eventually, the Variety Department, having gained the CEO’s approval, was engulfed in a frenzy of excitement.
“Good…! I believe in you! Chief PD! Let’s make a hit!”
“Trust me, department head!”
However, their dream never became a reality.
The BMB Variety Department, having exhausted all its energy in passing the proposal.
Miraculously failed in the subsequent casting of Authors.
It was autumn.
* * *
Meanwhile, a Author who shattered someone’s dreams and hopes with a single remark, ‘It seems like there are too many variety shows these days…’, was pathetically lying on the dirt ground.
His face was so covered with dust and dirt that it was streaked with sandy marks, and thick sweat beads soaked his head, dripping onto the floor.
The utterly exhausted author blankly stared at the sky.
‘It’s clear…’
Looking at the endlessly clear sky seemed to cool his panting chest and pounding heart refreshingly.
Feeling as if the ethereal color of the autumn sky, which seemed impossible to replicate with any paint, was dyeing his heart blue…
The literary man lay on the dirt ground for a long time, just looking up at the sky.
That is, until someone roughly grabbed him by the scruff and yanked him up.
“Get up! Get up!”
“Ughhhhh…”
The class president of the literature class, who seemed already close to 180 cm tall despite being a middle schooler, was encouraging and helping up students scattered here and there.
“We haven’t lost yet! Tug-of-war is best two out of three! We still have one round left! Get up! Come on!”
Baekhak Arts Middle School is a school. And schools are supposed to have sports festivals in the fall. This is the ‘national rule’ that takes precedence even over the constitution.
Of course, if you look closely, it’s the ‘J Empire rule’ that started in 1874 with the Naval Academy’s competitive games and was (not in a good way) introduced to Korea,
But a custom remembered warmly as a harmonious memory passing through generations in many people’s hearts is something that cannot be easily changed or stopped, and this is the powerful force that culture holds.
Of course, for the literature class students who were easily defeated in the first round of tug-of-war and sprawled on the ground, it was nothing but a painfully unbearable event.
Moon In-seop was no exception. Like most of the Literary and Creative Writing students, he was physically weak due to a lack of exercise. The exception might be the group of nerdy boys obsessed with soccer.
But no matter how much they liked soccer, in the Literary and Creative Writing Department, they couldn’t beat the ‘real’ physical education students, and Baekhak Arts Middle School was a hellish place that gathered only the true elites of physical prowess.
Dance students, sweating in front of mirrors for hours practicing Korean dance, modern dance, ballet, and break dance, had stamina that the Literary students couldn’t hope to match.
Similarly, students from the Music and Art Departments, typically carrying bags larger than their own torsos, were in another league compared to the Literary students who only carried a small pencil case.
The only department they might have stood a chance against was the Theatre and Film Department, but even there, a hidden principle was at work.
The Theatre and Film Department tended to attract students who were relatively good-looking, and for some unknown reason, good-looking students tended to be good at sports too.
“Whoa! We’re going down!”
“Hang in there! Hang in there! Lie down! Lie down!”
“Aaaaaargh!”
Ultimately, the second round of tug-of-war between the Literary and Creative Writing and the Theatre and Film Departments ended sadly, with the Literary students lacking both in looks and physical strength.
Beaten and battered, the Literary students collapsed unceremoniously on the field.
Amidst the groans echoing from various places, the still-energetic students began blaming each other.
“Hey! Kim Ye-bin! I told you just to lie down as soon as the tug-of-war started! We would have won if you just lay down!”
“Stop nagging!”
“It’s like in ‘Squid Game’! If you lie down right when the tug-of-war starts, you just win! Haven’t you watched it?!”
“…Did you watch it?”
“Of course.”
“……Did you?”
“Ah.”
Soon, a heated debate sparked by ‘Yo guys, this bastard says he watched Squid Game’ helped the Literary students quickly recover from their defeat.
However, Moon In-seop couldn’t blend into the noisy atmosphere of the Literary students and trudged back to their booth alone.
It wasn’t that he didn’t have friends, but his mental age was too high, making it difficult for him to mingle with middle schoolers.
If you could turn back time, wouldn’t it be difficult to blend in casually among peers? A person’s mind also has an age, and the younger one is, the greater the difference becomes. Thus, it wasn’t particularly strange or unusual that he had difficulty socializing with peers. It wasn’t because he lacked social skills or had trouble making friends. It was really because his mental age didn’t match, leading him to self-isolate, not because he didn’t have friends. He could swear on the honor of the New Light Spring Orphanage that it was true.
Anyway.
As Moon In-seop walked alone back to the Literary and Creative Writing booth, he encountered Gu Yu-na, who was oddly dressed.
Gu Yu-na, who had skipped tug-of-war to prepare for ‘Theatre,’ was intensely practicing her acting in a brown outfit, expressionless and dressed as a tree, her face just peeking out of a log-like costume.
“…Is practice going okay?”
“…”
Even when asked about her wellbeing, Gu Yu-na just stared blankly, refusing to speak carelessly, seemingly deeply immersed in her role.
Given that method actors need consideration before filming, Moon In-seop quietly sat down next to Gu Yu-na, who was wearing the tree costume.
Around that time, the Literary students, having recovered from the defeat on the field, started returning to the booth one by one.
“Ah- that was tough.”
“Min-ju, do you have any Pocari Sweat left?” (TL: Pocari Sweat is a sports drink name )
“Guys! The relay race is in an hour, so get ready!”
“Hey, class president. If you got elected, shouldn’t you at least hand out burgers at the sports festival! Do you want to be impeached?”
“Are you crazy?”
“These days, even burgers are considered bribes and are banned.”
“Just don’t get caught.”
“Moron.”
“Guys. The teacher isn’t sleeping.”
The Literary students, escaping the scorching sun, dragged plastic chairs to the booth and gathered in small groups to chatter away.
But surprisingly, no one asked Gu Yu-na why she was wearing the log costume or why she didn’t participate in the tug-of-war; in the world of martial arts, the overly curious do not survive long.
Thus, it wasn’t bullying. Gu Yu-na had truly overwhelmed everyone in the Literary and Creative Writing Department.
The fact that no one questioned her sudden appearance in a log costume implied that everyone knew there must be a reason behind everything Gu Yu-na did.
Those who knew of Gu Yu-na’s wisdom guessed there was a reason behind her actions and kept quiet, and even those lacking wisdom were too afraid of her to stand in her way.
Since time immemorial, if no one can obstruct one’s actions, they are called the ‘pinnacle’.
Therefore, it could be said that Gu Yu-na had truly reached the throne of supremacy.
However, those who stand alone at the top are always destined to be lonely.
When her friends didn’t ask about the log costume, Gu Yu-na’s expression subtly turned gloomy.
So, knowing that Gu Yu-na had joined the drama club through Kim Byul and would be performing on stage as a ‘tree,’ Moon In-seop asked her a question for her sake.
“So, how come you ended up wearing that costume?”
“…!”
Gu Yu-na, initially discouraged, regained some spirit.
Just as Gu Yu-na, flapping her branch-like arms, was about to start explaining,
“Hey! Moon In-seop!”
Suddenly, Min Hyo-chan burst into the Literary and Creative Writing booth.
Having run for a while, Min Hyo-chan’s pink hair was drenched in sweat.
Wearing a spinach-colored tracksuit, Min Hyo-chan urgently yelled,
“Come quickly!”
“What is it, Min sunbae…?”
“Oh, just hurry up!”
In such a hurry, Min Hyo-chan grabbed Moon In-seop’s wrist and started running.
Gu Yu-na tried to get up and grab him, but her branch-like arms could only flap desperately.
“Oh, no!”
Meanwhile, as Min Hyo-chan frantically dragged Moon In-seop away to somewhere, he had a crumpled piece of paper in his grip.
The content written on the paper was as follows:
<Things to bring>
<hubae> (TL: hubae means Junior opposite of sunbae)
Just after the tug-of-war, Moon In-seop, already exhausted, protested weakly,
“What the heck is it!”
“Ah, just run, damn it!”
The two boys, one with black hair and the other with pink, crossed the sports field like this.
It was around this time that a vehicle from Baekhak Cultural Broadcasting entered the gates of Baekhak Arts Middle School.
It was a day in autumn.
*****
Translator’s Note:
Hi everyone,
This week, I’ll be busy IRL, so chapter releases will be sporadic, and there might not be a chapter on some days. I wanted to let you know in advance. Also, I will try to make up for the missed chapters next week.
Thanks.
*****
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