Once Upon A Time, There Was A Spirit Sword Mountain

Chapter 90 - All of You Perverts Must Die!

Chapter 90: All of You Perverts Must Die!

Translator: Subudai11 Editor: Chrissy

When little Ling’Er recovered her memory again, she found herself standing outside the guest house courtyard wall. Her body was still wearing that exquisite dress. The water vapor from when she took a bath hadn’t completely gone; it was just that… with the backdrop of a setting sun, that slender figure appeared to be so lonely and filled with grief.

After staring blankly for a few moments, Little Ling’Er’s stupefied brain gradually cleared up. A strange smile hung on the corner of that young woman’s mouth before she strode towards a certain direction in the county.

Meanwhile, Wang Lu and Wen Bao, squatting in a secluded alley, were each savoring some steamed cake and cooked meat.

“Senior Brother Wang Lu, do you think Sister Ling… is really okay?”

Wang Lu swallowed the meat patty and then laughed. “Rest assured, women are born actresses. Just now, wasn’t there someone who came to confirm your identity? Obviously, she has infiltrated the enemy’s base. Soon, we’ll probably see the result.”

“… It’s just that, I always feel like Sister Ling seems to pay a great sacrifice for this.”

“What is there to sacrifice? She won’t be taken advantage of, on the contrary, all the people around here would regard her as the fairy who has descended to the world. So, that guy’s heart would definitely be thrown into confusion! Do you know why the disciples on the Spirit Sword Mountain never compliment her as beautiful as flower look?”

Wen Bao thought for a moment. “You’re right, they never… why? Actually, Sister Ling is indeed quite beautiful.”

Wang Lu hissed, “So what if she has beautiful look? People there can’t let themselves see her as a woman based on the temperament that she showed there. Just like my Master. Objectively speaking, she’s also a beautiful woman, right? Let alone seeing her as a woman, do you even see her as a human?”

“… That’s true.”

“Right? However, as long as little Ling’Er is willing to play along, fooling a dirty old man would be no problem. It should be said…” Wang Lu wrinkled his brows. “Her stature is quite thin. However, nowadays there are not that many lolicon perverts, but perhaps that dirty old man is actually one of them! But he has to accept her poor value as she doesn’t have breasts, hahaha!”

Although Wen Bao could only understand some parts of it, seeing Senior Brother Wang Lu’s laughing out loud happily, he also echoed him and laughed foolishly. But suddenly, his laugh came to an abrupt halt.

At the entrance to the alley, a young woman stood with her back against the sunset. Her slender shadow covered his field of vision.

As if it was a nightfall…

Wang Lu looked up, saw the girl, and was about to laugh and welcome her triumphant return, but the next moment…

“Wang Lu, I’m going to kill you, aaa!”

With an astonishing power, the young woman dashed forward. Her figure seemed to look like a blur of electricity, then a heavy blow landed on Wang Lu’s face.

Bang!

The youth flew like an artillery shell, and with a booming sound, slammed the earthen wall on the side and stuck there.

Her powerful punch suspended him on the wall like a painting!

——

“… So that’s how it is. Unexpectedly, there’s actually such a thing.”

With a very large black eye, Wang Lu made a bitter expression and then sighed.

Just now, Little Ling’Er just finished recounting him the humiliation that she suffered in that guest house courtyard—of course, Wen Bao had already rushed to a distant spot, leaving Wang Lu to talk in private with her. This lifetime’s humiliation story must never be heard by another person, lest she would be forced to shut that person’s mouth.

The story also greatly shocked Wang Lu, making him stare dumbfoundedly for quite a while. Even he, no matter how professional his adventure spirit was, would have never expected that there would be such a dramatic change to the situation. That dirty old man was not only depraved, he was also a pervert! Tasteless!

How dare he discriminated against flat chested girls!

Wang Lu therefore sighed. “Sister Ling, it’s really hard on you… pfft!”

Initially, he wanted to comfort the girl’s bruised ego, however, in the end, he could not stop himself from laughing.

Of course, as the result of that, he was once again hung on the side wall.

“If you laugh again, I will beat you, this main culprit, until you can’t stand up!”

Wang Lu gently touched another of his black eye and fought back his nearly uncontrollable urge to laugh. “I won’t laugh, I won’t laugh. I have profoundly understood my mistakes… After going back, I will certainly give you a sincere compensation.”

Little Ling’Er gritted her teeth. “Who wants you to compensate! How can you compensate!?”

Wang Lu thought for a moment. “Actually, I know several folks prescriptions that can enhance your breast. Sister Ling, you…”

Bam!

After the third time he walked away from the wall, Wang Lu helplessly sighed. “Sister Ling, do you really want to practice Ma Liang’s magic brush [1]? If this goes on, I will really turn into two dimensions!”

“I, I… “ Little Ling’Er somewhat at a loss for words because she quickly realized that, in making the plan, Wang Lu had never intended to harm her. However, the resentment in her heart was difficult to subside, what else should she do?

Wang Lu’s face sank as he seriously said, “Of course, someone is responsible for this injustice, so we need to find the real culprit to take revenge on him.”

Little Ling’Er has lost her enthusiasm. “How? Our sneak attack plan has failed.”

Wang Lu was also somewhat embarrassed. “Yeah, unexpectedly, that guy is a pervert, he doesn’t have a normal taste… If we don’t go this way, it would be really difficult to enter that courtyard. Wen Bao and I are not good at stealth and changing our look.”

Little Ling’Er coldly snorted. “If we can’t go by the front, we’ll just go around and sneak from the back. I am not comfortable with this anyway.”

Wang Lu inwardly thought, “I think there’s another reason why you feel uncomfortable… at the beginning of your offering-sex-for-money play, didn’t you feel happy about it?”

However, if they wanted to go through the front door again… Wang Lu still somewhat hesitated. With their current lineup, to win against the six stars elder and the four stars emissary were still possible, but to catch them would be really hard.

And if they didn’t catch them, the incident would arouse their sect’s suspicion. Later on, when they look for their main base, it would be extremely difficult to catch their Sect Leader. Moreover, this incident would likely to initiate the opposite party’s retaliation, making the situation more complicated.

In the end, a sneak attack was still the best possible course, because, until this time, they still have the biggest advantage of being in the dark while the enemy in the light.

Thus, the problem was back to the original question, how to infiltrate the courtyard and catch the two adulterers off guard?

Honey trap was still the most effective method, unfortunately, the Lady Boss was good looking but lacking in the chest department. However, besides Lady Boss, where could they look for another good looking cultivator that was powerful enough to subdue a Foundation Establishment Stage cultivator? Would he have to go back to the Spirit Sword Mountain to recruit another member? The other disciples were already all over the region doing their own experiential learning, so it won’t be easy to recruit one.

Alas, if only Junior Sister Yue, who couldn’t be forgotten by a certain someone here, was here, he could come up with some tricks. But now, their team consisted only of a flat chested girl, a fatty, and a…

Wang Lu sighed, bowed his head, and suddenly, his eyes caught a puddle of water on the ground. The surface of the water was as flat as a mirror, which perfectly captured the youth’s slightly anxious face.

Hey! Wait a minute, that’s it!

“Sister Ling, could you please wait for me here with the fatty. I need to do something.”

Sister Ling thought that he had the urge to defecate, so she lightly waved her hand. “Just go.”

After the time it took for someone to finish a meal, while little Ling’Er was a bit bored standing at the mouth of the alley and was ready to leave, suddenly, she saw a person walk from a distant.

That person was a medium built, elegant and beautiful young girl. The girl dressed in a gorgeous long skirt, which increased the beauty and charm of that delicate young girl by several points. The girl walked while swaying her hips like it was natural to her and the flirtatious expression on her face was unbounded.

Seeing this person, Little Ling’Er subconsciously frowned. In particular, seeing that girl’s towering pair of racks, her mood began to turn dark, and an inexplicable raw hostility brewed in her heart.

The hell! How could this kind of person appear in this desolate county? The people here were supposed to be malnourished with withered figures! A small county’s people should have the appearance befit of a small county! How could that person’s chest be so huge? She must be a professional wet nurse!?

Then, under little Ling’Er’s complex eyes, that strange woman suddenly turned around to smile and then walked straight to her.

“… What do you want?” Little Ling’Er was upset, especially since the woman stood straight in front of her as if intentionally or unintentionally showing off her breast; it was a blatant provocation!

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Who are you? Do I know you?” Little Ling’Er automatically replied, and then she completely froze.

Because that person’s voice was too familiar! Obviously…

“It’s me, I didn’t fake my voice, can’t you recognize it?”

The Lady Boss’s jaw fell to the ground.

“Wang Lu! You [email protected]#[email protected]#!?”

——

“Hahaha, this big miss’s name is Wang Lu, why haven’t you two come and pay your respect to me?”

“…”

“In short, because you guys are not useful, I have to do it myself, but it doesn’t mean I’m into this.”

“…”

“I got this inspiration when I saw my reflection on the water… alas, although I’m not that handsome, but before I reach puberty and my secondary sexual characteristic fully mature, I can still fake being effeminate.”

“…”

“Don’t just stare at me with an open mouth like that, I am here to ask your opinion, am I passable as a woman? I’ve spent quite a bit of time to achieve this appearance, so it should be enough. I’ve thought about the details, but I don’t have the time to think all of it.”

“…”

The Lady Boss and Wen Bao were still in that pair of horror-stricken expression, motionless like a stone sculpture.

Wang Lu helplessly shook his head and then reached out to touch the Lady Boss’s chest…

Bam! Another painting on the wall appeared.

A certain two-dimensional painting reluctantly said, “… Aren’t you supposed to still lose your spirit? Just now, that defenseless posture of yours is like luring a snake from its hole?”

The Lady Boss’s face blushed as her hands covered her chest. “You stinking rogue, dead pervert, you… are disgusting!”

Wang Lu jumped down from the wall and angrily retorted, “It’s all because of your flat chest incompetence! Otherwise, why would I, a good looking man from a respectable family, need to betray my appearance? I’m under a huge mental pressure you know!?”

“Dead pervert! Get away from me! And don’t try to breathe, your perverted breath will pollute the air of the entire county!”

“Damn! You, this flat chested girl, what makes you think you’re better than me!?”

The Lady Boss was furious, but then her eyes turned; she couldn’t help but quip, “You say I’m flat chested… But you’re a man, what’s with your big chest then? It doesn’t seem like it is filled with apples, cotton or something.”

Wang Lu sighed and patted his chest, which created a bam, bam sound.

“This…” The Lady Boss was stunned, and then she suddenly understood. “Did you adjust the shape of your ribs!? My goodness, you actually sneakily practiced this skill!?”

Wang Lu couldn’t help but chuckle. “Isn’t Non-Phase Sword Bone a method to train the bone? Although uncomfortable, I can still bear if it’s just one or two days. In any case, as long as no one touches it and I don’t move too much, there’s not a big difference with the real thing.”

“The magnificent Non-Phase Sword Bone is being applied like that by you, really…”

“If the leaders are not virtuous, the people can’t be expected to be virtuous. This self-made method perhaps has been used by master on an even more lower act. For example, the third leg bone and so on… my insignificant skill could not be compared to that. Okay, that’s enough for today’s chat, I’m going there now to seduce someone.”

The Lady Boss was taken aback. “You want to go now? Just like that? Are you sure? Before this, Wen Bao and I need to perform for quite a while before they took notice!”

“That’s because you two are too weak [2], that’s why I have no choice but to increase the foreplay! And with my strength, why should there be a need for a lubricant?” Wang Lu sneered. “Later on, you’ll see. I’ll make you experience this professional adventurer’s prowess!”

“More like a pervert professional adventurer…”

——

Before long, the three people arrived at the front of the guest courtyard once again. The Lady Boss and Wen Bao were peeping from a secret spot. Wang Lu, wearing female attire, walked towards the entrance with a confident smile.

While hiding in the shadow before he appeared in front of the guards, Wang Lu had drunk a bottle of liquor; his breath immediately smelled of alcohol!

Then, Wang Lu’s step began to stagger, swaying left and right like a drunken beauty.

Under Lady Boss’s dumbfounded stare, Wang Lu slowly opened his mouth and began to voice out a burst of sorrowful weeping sound.

“You, this dead heartless… After you found a new one, you cast me aside. Your previous solemn pledge of eternal love was a lie!”

Lady Boss thought that a lightning strike had suddenly appeared on top of her head, and all in front of her turned black as she went unconscious.

This, this was a worldview destroying scene. Although it was easy for a cultivator on the level of Wang Lu to fake their voice into a woman—in fact, even Wen Bao could do it, however, remembering that the true identity of that lovelorn woman who drowned her sorrow with liquor was that guy, Wang Lu…

“Excuse me, I’m looking for my jaw that just fell on the ground.”

Meanwhile, seemingly unintentional, while crying, Wang Lu walked towards the entrance.

The two guards guarding the entrance naturally saw this under the night drunken woman. The two knitted their brows, feeling that something was odd with this scene. However, for a time, they could not grasp what was it that was odd… In any case, they would just treat it as if they were watching a play. Although that drunken woman seemed to be in a difficult situation, after a careful look, they found out that her look wasn’t bad at all. Especially that lethal organ on her chest, it was seriously unlike anything this Marquis County, this remote county, could produce.

The two guards assumed a wooden expression as a pair of loyal gatekeepers. However, their eyes betrayed their expression as they continued to focus their attention on her. However, after a while, they didn’t need to pretend they didn’t care anymore.

Because that woman had staggered forward and unexpectedly rushed into the bosom of one of the man!

That guy froze for a moment. Subconsciously, he wanted to push away the woman. But the drunk woman’s arms were surprisingly quite powerful. He couldn’t pry her hands away from his arm.

“None of you men are good! You’re all fickle and insatiable!

“Let… let go of me!” Cold sweat began to pour out of that brawny guard. If he let the Immortal Teacher or the housekeeper see this, he would not be able to keep his job. However, although that woman was dead drunk, it could not cover her outstanding beauty. Therefore, he couldn’t bear to hit her.

The other brawny guard was stunned for a moment. But, when he wanted to come over to help, that woman bawled even more powerful, she even sat on the ground and refused to move!

While the two were in a dilemma, the gate was opened, and the housekeeper came out with a furious look. “What the hell is happening here!? If you annoy the Immortal Teacher, do you think we’re going to get paid!?”

The two guards immediately rushed to tell the whole story and busily lifted up a certain drunken woman for the housekeeper to look.

Upon smelling the thick liquor scent, the housekeeper immediately frowned. However, when he saw the woman’s appearance, especially the towering whiteness that peek below the messy clothes…

“…Damn! This is just what we need.” The housekeeper gritted his teeth and called out a mysterious servant from the courtyard. After asking several questions from that servant, the housekeeper turned toward the two guards. “You two, bring this woman in.”

“What? But this woman…”

The housekeeper said through gritted teeth, “Damn it! Although we don’t know her background… but this time, we can’t afford to be picky! Immortal Teacher is already not interested in that group of women a long time ago, but in this small county, where could we find women that suit his taste? We found one for him today, but he rejected her because of her small breast!”

“But, won’t it…?”

“There is already protection array arranged personally by the Immortal Teacher in this guest house, so we don’t need to worry.”

The two guards could only nod. In any case, this was the housekeeper’s idea; the two of them were just following the order. Thus, they carried the already passed out drunken woman inside the courtyard.

Inside a room with the woman, after looking around and finding out that there was no one near, the housekeeper carefully closed the door and mumbled to himself, “This girl’s chest is much more bigger than the previous tomboy.”

At the same time, in a nearby dark corner, the spectator, Lady Boss, who watched all of these from afar, was already fuming with anger!

“All of you perverts… must die!”

Note:

[1] A Chinese folk tale.

[2] Can also mean inferior.