Path of the Berserker

Book 2: Chapter 44

I COULDN’T BELIEVE what I was seeing.

Or who I was seeing was perhaps more accurate.

“Threja?”

She chuckled as she folded her arms across her massive chest. “Somewhat, I suppose.”

I was even more confused. She certainly looked like Threja, or what I could remember of her anyway. Close to nine feet tall, packed full of muscle with unkempt white hair that spilled down her face—a face that was aged and worn yet still beautiful in a way.

“I can see you are confused,” she said. “I am an embodiment of the Threja you knew. A small sliver of her soul perhaps. A remnant left behind when she gifted me to you.”

“When she gifted me to you?” I said. “Wait… are you?”

“Yes,” she said with a smile. “I’m Threja’s sword. Or so you keep calling me.”

I was stupefied for a moment. “I’m talking to Threja’s sword? You’re alive. Like a person?” And then suddenly I recalled the times I thought I’d heard Threja’s voice before, right after I had slain a giant monster. “Wait was that you trying to talk to me? Right after I killed a monster to strengthen you?”

She smiled. “Yes, that was me and yes, I am sentient. A person as you say. A relic can become so after a time, or when imbued with one’s spirit.”

This was literally blowing my mind. “I thought I was just hearing things. Man, you’ve been with me this whole time?”

“Yes, and I am thankful you recovered me, by the way,” she said. “I was beginning to think I would forever be in the hands of that ape after that oaf dumped me down that cliff.”

“Yeah, sorry about that. Richards was a real dumbass.”

She laughed in her deep booming voice. “Your language is colorful as always. So amusing.”

“Threja said the same thing.”

“As she would. I am a part of her, after all.” She suddenly laughed again. “And the things you tell poor Kelsey.”

I felt strangely self-conscious all of a sudden, remembering everything I’d idly said around her before. “Um… how much can you… like… see and hear?”

“Observe of the outside world you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“I can observe what is close to me, but I can sense to a great degree anything within my area of influence.”

“Influence? You mean the barrier?”

“Yes, that’s what you call it.”

“How do you keep the demons out by the way?”

She shrugged. “I suppose they just dislike me.”

She then smiled and I wondered if she was joking or not.

“Yes, I’m joking.”

“Wait, you can read my thoughts?”

“You are thought right now.”

Holy shit, was I?

“Yes.”

I realized I still couldn’t see myself. Yet, behind me was my younger self and the demon. “What are those things exactly, do you know?”

“They are the embodiment of your soul. The Struggler and the Demon. You refer to them as such often. They are your helpers in times of need.”

“And where is this place exactly?”

“We are within your soul. A spiritual realm. Or a manifestation of one. Spiritual things can manifest themselves here. Hence why I am here.”

I thought for a moment about the technique I had used. “So my use of the [Spectral Body] technique created them?”

“It would seem.”

I mentally furrowed my non-existent brow. “Does this mean my soul is split?”

“Your soul is you,” she said, pointing at me. She then gestured to the Struggler and the Demon. “But your embodiment of it appears to be split yes.”

“I see,” I said. “Was Threja’s soul split like this too?”

“At one time, I believe, early on. Like her, you must progress to combine your fractured spirit. Right now, you may possess one or the other. But true harmony comes with reconciliation. A house divided cannot stand, after all.”

“How do I even do that?”

She smiled. “I wouldn’t know. I’m merely a sword.”

I chuckled. This sword was kind of a smartass.

“That I am,” she said with another grin.

“So do you have Threja’s memories? Know what became of her?”

“I have some. Those she wished to bestow to you. But I do not know what has become of her unfortunately.”

I once again hoped she had ascended.

“Me as well,” she said.

“So what can I learn from you?” I asked. “Can you help me with my spiritual progression?”

“Haven’t I already? How many times have I cleansed your Flame now?”

I felt suddenly embarrassed. “Is that… unpleasant for you?”

“Perhaps more so for you than me. But fear not. I am at your service. In all things.”

“What about the [Soul Shield] technique, can you help me with that?”

“I can only teach you what was etched into the sword. I can only tell you what to do not how to do it.”

“Got it. You know anything about I’xol’ukz the Dark Frenzy god?”

“Only as much as you know, now that you have shared your thoughts.”

“Damn,” I said. “I was hoping for another breakthrough of insight.”

“You already know what you must do for that,” she said. “Confront the gate. Meet the monster head on.”

“Yes, I know, but I need the [Soul Shield] technique to even attempt that.”

“You may perhaps need more than that,” she said. “[Spectral Armor] and [Spectral Weapon] would be helpful too.”

“I can use those already?”

She nodded to my two doppelgangers. “When you are able to find balance and harmony perhaps.”

It seemed everything was boiling down to reconciling this imbalance in my soul.

But what was it exactly?

The Struggler and Demon still needed to exist, didn’t they?

“I know not,” the woman said, reading my thoughts again. “I know only that Threja at some point merged the Struggler with the Demon. But she was nearly ascended. Perhaps such a step is still far beyond you right now.”

“Maybe,” I said. I wasn’t getting the answers I needed, but the sword could probably still answer some things I was curious about. “What about increasing the barrier, your influence. That really comes from killing monsters right?”

“From killing anything really,” she said, grinning. “But the stronger they are, the more I can grow.”

“So big monsters then.”

She smiled. “Yes, as you already figured out. Big monsters, Max.”

I chuckled. “Are you able to get strong enough for your barrier to reach the bottom of the bunker?”

“It’s possible as you’ve already presumed,” she said. “But to penetrate solid ground is difficult. I will need to be much stronger than I am now.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ve got a plan. I’ve been taking lessons on how to wield you properly.”

She rolled her eyes. “Thank the heavens. I was fearing Threja had made a huge mistake with you.”

“Hey, I wasn’t that bad.”

“Ask Kelsey,” she said. “You were bad. And still are bad in my opinion, until you prove differently.”

I laughed. “Hey, what should I call you anyway? Calling you Threja’s sword doesn’t seem appropriate anymore. Do you even have a name?”

“I do,” she said. “But to know a weapon’s true name is to wield great power. You must discover it on your own.”

“My own?”

“Fear not,” she said with a wink. “I am certain it will soon be within your grasp. Now we should return to the world of the living. It will be dark soon and I’m sure you’ll wish to taint your soul again with Dark Frenzy to cultivate your spiritual path.”

“Has it been that long?”

“Time can flow differently in this realm. A minute for a day or a day for a minute.” She suddenly looked over her shoulder. “Kelsey is calling you.”

My true eyes opened and I found myself back in the real world again.

It was dusk and Kelsey was indeed there, peering into my face.

“Geeze!” she said. “I didn’t think you were ever going to wake up. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said and noted Threja’s sword was still in my lap.

No, not Threja’s sword, I thought. What was her name?

I remembered that wink.

Soon to be in my grasp…?

I studied the massive grip of the sword and felt along its coarse surface. Then like reading one of Fia’s secret messages, I felt an engraving. It was written phonetically, not a true Yee word at all.

Venja…

As I thought the words, her voice sounded in my head.

“Well done, little brother…”

I felt something open up inside of me as a connection was made. The resonance with the sword seemed to intensify.

Can I always communicate with you like this now? I thought.

“Yes,” Venja said in reply. “So long as I am in your hand.”

Cool!

“What are you grinning about?” Kelsey asked, looking at me like I was an idiot.

“Nothing,” I said. “Just made a new friend inside my head.”

“What?”

“Come on,” I said as I placed Venja back in her spot amidst the concrete. “I need to get in some more Bloodmoon cultivation and then tomorrow morning, we’re going to hunt some monsters.”

* * *

Discovering Venja was like a breath of fresh air when it came to cultivating.

My exposure to the Bloodmoon took on a whole new meaning.

I felt more comfortable in that space between spaces when the Bloodmoon took control, knowing what it actually was now. A spiritual state where the unseen could be manifested.

I still couldn’t trigger the [Soul Shield] technique for long, but my duration for keeping the full demon at bay had increased. I imagined my eight-year-old self holding back that giant demon in my mind’s eye and realized that just like the Shuras said, my powers truly were limited by the strength of the Struggler not the Demon.

Perhaps that’s what I needed to focus on more to balance my inner soul.

The cleansing of my Flame afterwards was also quite a different experience, with me having to endure heavy sighs and snippets of snarky ridicule from Venja as she performed the spiritual equivalent of wiping my ass—or so she described.

I promised to make it up to her in the morning and true to my word, Kelsey and I headed out into the wild to hunt big game. We tracked down a B-Class spirit beast, using Venja to help detect it through her barrier. It was a giant bird that looked like a vulture with antlers, a Peryton according to my handler’s manual.

I told Kelsey to hang back while I put my Iron Pot Wong lessons to the test. I still wasn’t skilled enough to use the axe and sword at the same time, but I doubled down on the sword and wielded Venja with both hands.

I went through the basic forms Wong had painstakingly taught me, keeping my balance perfectly as I slashed and cleaved with the giant weapon. I got disturbing little oo’s and ah’s from Venja as I did so, but I couldn’t tell if she was actually enjoying things or simply trolling me again.

Fighting the giant bird, my lessons from Fia were less helpful, but her instruction on correcting my basic forms now came naturally and I could sense the difference as I sped around the creature, avoiding its beak and claws with movement so fast I was nearly [Flash Stepping]. I nailed the creature with a giant cleave to its side, spilling blood and followed through with a shoulder tackle to its head, staggering it.

“Hit it now, Kelsey!” I shouted and tossed her my axe.

She snatched it out of the air mid throw and used the momentum to land a flawless [Three Log Chop] on the beast’s back. It screeched and flapped about in pain as Kelsey hung on to the axe handle, riding it like a bucking bull.

I used the distraction to close in and spun with a wild horizontal swing, decapitating the giant bird in a single chop. I felt Venja shudder with what sounded like delight as she absorbed the monster’s essence.

“That was nice,” she said. “And you have improved. Well done, Max.”

I took the praise along with the free Frenzy triggered from my [Bloodlust].

Using Venja to track down spirit beasts was so efficient that we had time to bag an awakened C-class bear before having to head back to the bunker for the night. I spent more time meditating in my own head before cultivating more Bloodmoon essence at night.

After another conversation with Venja, I asked if it was okay for me to tell Kelsey about her and she agreed. Kelsey thought I was a whole new kind of crazy at first, but accepted I wasn’t just talking to an imaginary friend once I set up a little experiment to prove it to her. I had Kelsey speak next to Venja while I was in the bunker and then repeated every word she had said once I came back outside.

“Holy shit!” Kelsey said as her eyes grew wide with wonder. “This is for real? I’m totally jealous! When can I see her like you can?”

“She’s not sure,” I said, repeating Venja’s answer to me. “When you get strong enough maybe?”

“Well let’s get to it then,” Kelsey said. “We still need to get this bunker cleared and I need to get stronger before tackling that space monster head on.”

* * *

The next few days went by with even more growth and discovery.

I spent time teaching Yee lessons with Susan and June and also re-teaching Kelsey her basic axe forms thanks to my new insights from Fia. After dinner I’d have deep fireside conversation with Jim about the intricacies of war. Martial combat was an entirely different thing, but learning about tactics fascinated me. Troop movements, supply chains, logistics. It seems like tools from another era, but who knew what might become useful in the future.

Every chance I wasn’t killing giant spirit beasts with Kelsey, I was deep inside my own head talking to Venja. I learned more about her time with Threja, time spent on distant worlds fighting hordes of unknown things.

“I wasn’t sentient then,” she told me. “I only became so when Threja inscribed me with the Shuras to pass on to you. But I do recall some experiences. Like faded memories I can’t quite recall.”

“That’s too bad,” I said. “I really wanted to know more about what she was like. Her past.”

“Perhaps you’ll get the chance to ask her yourself one day,” Venja said. “When you too ascend to the heavens.”

I chuckled at that. “Sounds a long time away. But I hope so.”

I kept my meditation and training up day after day and with Venja’s help and guidance, I discovered I was able to finally enter the body of my younger self. It was yet another surreal experience. I could sense the old memory of loss as fresh as when I lost my parents twelve years ago. At first it was almost too much to bear, but as I practiced each day, I found I was able to quell my emotions more and more.

I didn’t dare try entering the demon however, and Venja agreed it was likely not a good idea. I stuck to my younger self and after a while I found I could control my emotions somewhat. Instead of thinking of my parents, I thought of Yu Li and in an instant my body began to change, morphing from an eight-year-old me and edging closer to my present age.

After a week the transformation was complete, and I then began focusing on the people in the bunker and all those depending on me and slowly the body of my inner soul began changing yet again. I grew stronger, closer to what I looked like in real life, but not quite.

In my [Spectral Body] I found I was also able to interact physically with Venja, like we were two people trapped in some alternate plane of existence. I found she was also as skilled with using a Phalanx Glaive as Threja was.

Which made sense since she literally was one.

Venja manifested her physical self in her hands and I practiced my forms with her. Using that space within space, I quadrupled my time to practice, increasing the productivity of my stay in the wild even further.

It was literally like living a second life inside myself. I had all the same abilities and skills. I grew tired of facing Venja hand to hand and studied the [Spectral Weapon] and [Spectral Armor] techniques to see if I could do the same as her. Within a week I could manifest both my axe and Phalanx Glaive. My armor took a bit longer and took on a form I didn’t expect. It was similar to my [Iron Lightning] technique, save the arcs of lightning were more subtle and sustained.

But it all felt like a simulation though.

As soon as I attempted the same techniques in the real world, I could scarcely reproduce any of them.

“Is any of this even real?” I asked Venja after another failed attempt to evoke the [Soul Shield] technique. “Maybe I’m just making all this stuff up inside my own head.”

She shrugged. “Perhaps. I have no experience with this. But I’m not in your head, not permanently and I can see you growing. So something is changing.”

Her words encouraged me and I kept at it.

By the end of the month the Demon looked at my newly transformed Struggler self and gave me a solid nod of approval. I was looking closer to my true self, beard, scars and all. The Demon acknowledging me was also a bizarre but welcome form of affirmation. It was just me affirming me, after all. But it also made sense, I guessed.

The greater the struggle, the stronger the Struggler had to become to overcome the demon.

This had to be true progression, I thought.

“I agree,” Venja said as she stood next to me in her spectral form. “How far will you take this?”

I thought of Fia next and all the burdens I still had left to resolve with her and her family.

“As far as I can take it,” I said. “I have just over two months left before my next match, and I need to figure this all out before then.”

Despite all my advancement I still couldn’t perform the [Soul Shield] technique in my true body. Every night when I faced I’xol’ukz, the god of Dark Frenzy, I could maintain only a flicker of [Soul Shield].

“I still don’t understand why it’s not working,” I said. “In this body I can do everything just fine. More than fine really.”

I focused on my meridians, cycling my Frenzy and instantly I engaged the [Soul Shield] technique and felt it wrap solidly around my Flame. I manifested my axe and glaive next using my [Spectral Weapon] and my permanent [Iron Lightning] using [Spectral Armor]. I went through a couple of forms using both my axe and glaive, executing the dual weapon technique I had slowly been perfecting inside my own head. I could perform the maneuvers more smoothly now, but still not quite at mastery level.

“I just don’t get it,” I said. “I feel like I’m making progress, but nothing is really being confirmed in real life.” I then sighed. “I wonder if I’m just wasting my time in here.”

“Oh, really?” Venja crossed her arms forcefully, her brows diving into a scowl. “So you consider all the weeks I’ve spent with you to be a waste of time?”

“What?” I looked up at the fierce Amazonian warrior with anger filling her slate-gray eyes.

“The countless hours of training?” she shouted, growing angrier. “Wiping your ass each time you visit the Bloodmoon? You think that is entertaining for me?”

“No, Venja, please,” I said quickly. “I didn’t mean it like that. I love spending time with you. You’ve been like the mentor I never ha—”

I then stopped short as a grin spread across her lips and she let out a deep belly laugh.

“Thanks,” she said with a wink. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

I rolled my eyes as she continued to laugh.

“Man, you are the worst troll, I swear,” I said, shaking my head, but couldn’t help but laugh along with her. “I wonder if Threja is like you?”

“Perhaps,” she said with a shrug of her large shoulders. “I am a part of her soul, after all. A bit younger and more playful maybe.”

“But you get what I mean, don’t you?” I said, becoming serious again. “I just don’t know if I’m truly progressing. Like this all could be fake or something. Like my mind is fulfilling my own wishes in a fantasy.”

“I honestly don’t know,” Venja said, resting her hand on my shoulder. “But give it time. Threja had faith in you and so do I. You have a very strong spirit, and your growth has been exceptional. Faster than Threja even.”

“Really?”

She nodded. “Threja came to your world because the empire boasted of it as a realm for quick advancement. I think you are proof of that.”

I smiled at the compliment. “Thanks, Venja.”

“Come now,” she said, manifesting her physical form in her hand, the phalanx glaive appearing almost like a normal sword against her large frame. “Let us spar again. I will let you know when you are truly getting better.”

I grinned at her bravado and readied my axe and glaive. “Bring it.”

We charged at one another and for the umpteenth time did battle tooth and nail within the confines of my own mind. I still didn’t know if any of it was real. If I was truly progressing or if this was all some elaborate form of mental masturbation that was getting me nowhere.

But as I crossed swords with Venja I couldn’t deny one thing.

I was enjoying the hell out of it all the same.