Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

Chapter 314 Drunken Ramblings

A boisterous party awaited the cultivators as Jake opened the door. The soldiers had gone from drunk to sober and then back to drunk again, and no one looked ready to slow down. After seeing the majors, their rambunctiousness went from rowdy to wild.

"Wh-Wh-Wait, is that the major!?"

"Slow down, what? Where?"

"Whoa, no fuckin' way, that's the major!"

"Reggie, look! The majors look like princesses!"

Roxy and Major Reed wore luxurious cocktail dresses, with the former's being a rich purple and the latter's being white to resemble a toga. While the blonde didn't want to wear one, every other woman did, so she gave in to peer pressure.

The men also looked handsome in their button-up shirts. They found them stifling but wore them to avoid looking like scrubs around the stunning females.

While Roxy and Major Reed found the praise enjoyable, they didn't understand why Jake felt victorious. However, the uproar that followed answered that question immediately.

-

"Hey, guys! Does this mean that the majors have decided to join Immortal Skye?"

"Seriously? They've decided to join Immortal Skye!?"

"You're out of your mind. There's no way that the Harp would join this place."

"No, seriously—look! She's in a princess dress, and all the other cultivators are dressed in their attire too!"

"NO WAY!"

"Does this mean that it's cool to join!?"

"I think so!"

"YES! I KNEW THEY'D SEE THE LIGHT!"

"IMMORTAL SKYE IS AMAZING!"

"YEAH, THEY EVEN GOT THE LEADERS TO JOIN!"

Embarrassment was the emotion that Roxy felt upon seeing how ecstatic the soldiers were to jump ship on the Killian Empire. Although most of the soldiers were not hers, Captain Taylor's flushed cheeks and enthusiasm proved that the sentiment was universal.

"You didn't negotiate, eh?" Major Reed sneered.

"I didn't…." Roxy replied, her mouth agape. "That's the truth."

The blonde snorted in disdain, "Uh, huh. Then how do you explain—"

Ding!

Veronica tapped a spoon against a glass to gain everyone's attention. As if hypnotized, all the drunk soldiers turned to her lovingly. "Esteemed guests, we welcome you to Immortal Skye!"

"Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaahhhhhh!"

A thunderous clap of cheering rocked the airwaves, exasperating the elite cultivators.

"Calm down," she chuckled. "They haven't joined Immortal Skye. However, I've received word that everyone is clear to join if they wish."

"YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHH!

The atmosphere turned from boisterous to hysterical, with the cheering touching the edges of lunacy. While the black-haired pixie's technique had only lasted a minute, the spirit it breathed into the troops was intense.

"Calm down," Veronica smiled in amusement, turning to the majors. "Forgive us; the soldiers have been having a great time."

Many cultivators toasted in response, seemingly unfazed that their leaders were there.

"Please join us," she requested. "I don't believe you've eaten, so our chefs are preparing Earthian soul meat recipes. It hasn't been long since the others ate, but I'm sure they'll feast again."

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!

Roxy wanted to crawl into a hole and die. She immediately tried to justify herself, but Major Reed and the others were frozen stiff.

"Did she just say soul meat?" Major Reed asked in confusion.

"Yeah, it's soul meat," Roxy confirmed, remembering it was new to them. "From the ocean, no less. It's far more potent than what's in the Sanctuaries."

"No wonder they're so merry; this is first-rate bribery!" The blonde laughed breathlessly.

"No way, Major!" A brunette said as Jake led them to a newly set up table. "Just wait until you hear this!"

A flurry of drunken ramblings slammed into Major Reed and the cultivators, exasperating them. At first, they got progressively more ridiculous but dropped off quickly.

-

"There's somewhere you can buy thousands of princess dresses!"

"The houses in Immortal Skye's are grander than this castle!"

"Emperor Lexicon killed a thousand of these fish at once!"

"Next month, there will be dual cultivation prostitutes!"

"There's so much water here that people shit in it!"

"You can earn over three hundred techniques!"

"There's three hours of training every day!"

"Everyone here has peak techniques!"

"These little shits are delicious!"

"Their leaders are teens!"

"They are not Retos!"

"The wine works!"

"Little shits…."

"Hookers…"

"Cognac…"

"Hic…"

-

"Did they hypnotize our soldiers?" Major Reed scoffed, sniffing the foul-smelling liquid in her glass. "This is clearly propaganda."

"Once you try their food, you'll understand," Roxy sighed. "Also, that really is alcohol. But don't drink it unless you want to get drunk."

"Maybe for you! I'm a peak Heaven Realm cultivator," the blonde declared proudly, sensing a challenge. "Don't lump me in with your mid-tier skills."

"Please don't drink more than three glasses," the brunette pixie pleaded. "We're in a volatile situation. You're already impulsive sober; I'm afraid of what you'll be like drunk."

"You think I can't handle three glasses of spirits this size?" Major Reed scoffed, grabbing a bottle of scotch off the table and haphazardly filling the rocks glass to the brim. "I can handle a cask of wine easily!"

"THE HARP IS DRINKING!" Captain Taylor yelled drunkenly, whipping around his black ponytail excitedly.

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Emboldened by the support from her troops, the blonde slammed the entire glass in one go.

…

"They're strong? I believe that shit!" Major Reed roared, triggering cheers. "This scrawny little shit beat me in a battle! He beat the shit out of himself but fucked us up, too—RESPECT!"

Shock. Amazement. Delirious cheering!

Jake blushed, stunned by the abrupt, misguided praise. His expression triggered wild cheering from the Immortals, creating a boisterous atmosphere. He was mortified but played the part, lifting his wine glass.

Thunderous applause met his motion, giving the blonde an excuse to drink more.

…

"Do you know what your problem is?" Major Reed slurred.

"What?" Roxy asked with soulless eyes as the gatekeepers guided her into the beyond.

"No, guess!" the blonde demanded. "You're supposed to guess!"

"No," the brunette said coldly.

"Come on!" Major Reed scoffed. "Or do you think you're perfect?"

"Just tell me," Roxy groaned, weighing the pros of stabbing a fork into her eye to end her misery.

"You're too… fuckin' pretty!" the blonde slurred, triggering cheers and whistles. "Like, no lez shit or nothin', but you get away with all the shit! And you know it, dont'cha? You know you're pretty as shit—just admit it!"

"I'm pretty," the brunette pixie echoed monotonously.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeew!" A man wolf-whistled, "She knows it, boiiiiiz!"

"YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

…

"Eat up, men!" Major Reed roared, "It doesn't matter who the hell it's from—if someone offers you free soul meat, you eat that shit! If I hear that any of you weaklings turned it down because you were full, you're demoted!"

"YES, MAJOR!"

Frenzied cheering hit the room like a shockwave, sending the cultivators into a gluttonous flurry. Despite wanting to apologize to every Immortal present, Roxy made sure that she got her share before the drunken heathen and her soldiers ate it all.

…

"I"m sorry for tryin' to kill ya earlier," Major Reed garbled. "I just consider ya a friend, and friends ain't supposed to betray friends, ya know?"

"I understand," Roxy replied, the enthusiasm from the food fully depleted.

There had been a nonstop party for three hours with a meal. Although she was having a great time, Roxy lost enthusiasm for life whenever the blonde talked to her.

"I knew ya would," the fiery major slurred.

Roxy put her head on the table, praying for someone to save her.

Click.

As if to answer her prayer, the group's deafening revelry abruptly gave way to a nervous silence. The brunette pixie raised her head and saw Jake, Veronica, and Sage standing up tensely. It was perplexing; she couldn't figure out what had changed.

"Whoa, now THIS is a plot twist!" a cute voice proclaimed excitedly. "I low-key thought we'd have to murder 50% of you in a long, drawn-out conquest. What a treat."

When Roxy turned around to see the woman, a cataclysmic wave of emotions crashed into her, leaving her reeling and gasping for breath.