Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

Chapter 351 A Broken Mirror

351 A Broken Mirror

—Earlier That Morning—

At the break of dawn, Evalyn awoke promptly at 4 am, her usual time. She swiftly showered with practiced efficiency before brushing her teeth with her familiar pink toothbrush. She reached into her drawer and pulled out a random pair of pink panties, the only color in the drawer. Once dressed in leggings and a loose white t-shirt, a once-regular outfit now tinged with a sense of detachment, Evalyn prepared to leave her room.

Pausing before the mirror, she examined her reflection.

"You look like shit," Evalyn chuckled, noting the dark circles beneath her eyes. "I guess it's fitting, considering your personality.

Better not to act pretty after my fight with..."

Her thoughts turned to her confrontation with Harper, which had unearthed a ruthless side she hadn't known she possessed. It was an unsettling realization, yet she couldn't help but feel that it was the right course of action and even admired herself for it. It was a toxic sentiment, so she was grateful it disappeared — so far as she was aware.

"No, if I show up like this, Isabella and Scarlet will both give me an earful," she mused, a wry smile playing on her lips. "Funny how they've known I was messed up since I was young. But back then, I didn't kill without remorse, break people's spirits, or manipulate others for political gain..."

Evalyn's gaze fell upon the makeup and vanity mirror with a halo light on her desk. She hesitated, torn between using them and the hypocrisy it would entail.

esksk Lainwright, like many major military bases, had an inner city where soldiers and their families could enjoy nightlife, coffee shops, and shopping. This provided a semblance of normalcy for those serving lengthy terms, especially at Lainwright, where the nearest city of significance was an hour away.

Evalyn found herself seated in Tragg's Espresso Bar within Lainwright Military Base. She had paid the barista reputation points before they met their family later in the morning. After all, most people didn't wake up until 7:00 or 8:00, let alone be at a coffee shop at 5:05 in the morning.

Though she was 25 minutes early, her foot tapped the ground in anticipation, betraying her nerves. The anxiety was killing her.

"They can say they love me no matter what, but how can they love someone who shatters people's bones before an audience..." she murmured, glancing at her unpainted nails. "How can they love someone so cold and unforgiving? I'm not just as bad as my dad... I'm worse."

The sound of bells chiming at the doorway startled Evalyn out of her reverie. She hadn't realized how lost in thought she was until someone approached her unnoticed.

"You're not as bad as your father, sweetheart," a tender female voice reassured her, causing her heart to race.

"Isa..." Evalyn whispered, her vision clouded with emotion.

Isabella Taylor had a gentle appearance, with a soft jawline and warm, honey-brown eyes that soothed even the most troubled souls.

Clad in a vintage off-white, tea-length dress, wide-brimmed hat, and flats, she exuded a romantic aura reminiscent of the 1920s and 1930s.

"Evalyn..." Isabella choked, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm so grateful you're safe!" Unable to contain her emotions any longer, Isabella rushed towards Evalyn, embracing her tightly as if she were a child again. Tears streamed down her face, smudging her eyeliner as she wept.

"T was so worried about you!" she cried, muddling her eyeliner.

"Worried that you had died, worried you survived and someone terrible had happened to you, terrified that you lived only to be starving somewhere, cold, and alone. I can't believe this is really true..."

Evalyn's eyes welled up, feeling powerful emotions surging through her veins as her mother figure cried over her shoulder, unconcerned with anything she had seen. "Isa..."

"Yes, my child," Isabella sniffled. "I'm here now. I may not be able to do much more for you than you can do for yourself, but feel free to pretend like I can, just like the old days."

Evalyn laughed, struggling to hold back tears in public despite the privacy provided by a temporary barrier she had learned to create for such moments.

esksk The women sat in silence for a few minutes, exchanging smiles and basking in each other's presence. However, whenever they stared too long, they burst into laughter.

"It's funny," Isabella remarked. "For us to sit here, overjoyed to see each other alive but also feeling awkward about it."

"Why... is that amusing?" Evalyn asked hesitantly, her inner turmoil evident.

Isabella smiled enigmatically, gentle and serene, before extending her hand to touch Evalyn's softly. "Because whether you were a mere survivor living in a bunker or a leader of a nation, you would be acting exactly as you are right now."

Evalyn's eyes widened in surprise. "Are you joking?" she asked, prompting the woman to giggle.

"No, I'm quite serious," Isabella replied, laughter and tears mingling on her cheeks. '"You would be worried that I wouldn't care about you because you had become cynical, or because you had broken someone's limbs for getting too close, or because you had become a recluse," she explained. "You would find an equal reason to dread this encounter."

The blonde offered a wry smile, glancing at her teacup containing three bags of black tea, evidence that a simple tea party was insufficient and she needed caffeine. "Is that so?"

"It is," Isabella affirmed. "This is just who you are."

"Yet, don't you think..." Evalyn hesitated, falling silent and pursing her lips, unable to broach the subject she feared most.

"That your form of leadership is unpalatable?" Isabella mused, her eyes still puffy from tears.

"Yes..." the blonde murmured, averting her gaze.

"Of course I do!" the woman snapped. "I'm meeting with Scarlet this afternoon to give her a piece of my mind! That woman has made you so unhappy, and I can't stand it!"

Evalyn's eyes widened in confusion, looking at Isabella again in shock. "What?"

"What do you mean, 'what?'" Isabella huffed. "If Scarlet hadn't come into your life, you might have acted more like Kaze. Instead, you're constantly unhappy when you look at anyone, isolated, and alone. That's Scarlet's doing, and I'll make sure she regrets the day she started filling your head with her philosophies and practices."

"Forgive me, Isa..." the blonde said, slightly exasperated. "But, why are you more concerned about my happiness than my actions? While that may be something a loving mother would say, it's not what I'd expect you to truly feel..."

"Oh, sweetheart," Isabella smiled, her expression a blend of affection and sorrow. "You are your father and mother's child. Even if your path had led you to own a business, you would have always ended up this way. I've known that since you were little, and that's why we used to have our special lessons."

Evalyn's eyes trembled a torrent of shock and surreal emotions coursing through her, leaving her feeling exposed, raw, and vulnerable. "Is that what you were teaching me?" she asked. "You weren't teaching me how to be normal...?"

"I was teaching you how to appear normal," Isabella said softly, gazing out the window at the other empty buildings. "Normal, successful people wear makeup; they smile when they talk to people, even when they're seething with anger; they listen to others and react emotionally to their words. They don't need to be taught how to feel, Evalyn."

Hearing Isabella's final statement felt like a spear through her heart, bringing tears to her eyes and revealing the pain she felt about her innate brain function and the learned behavior she had adopted along the way.

"Do you remember what you asked me before those lessons?"

Isabella asked a touch of nostalgia in her voice.

Evalyn's eyes drifted to the side, deep in thought. "No..." she chuckled, feeling slightly envious of Kaze's memory.

"You said you didn't want to be like your father," Isabella recalled, smiling. "Since you were born with the same disorder as him, and grew up in that household, the only option left was to feign normalcy. But..."

The blonde held her breath, her chest tightening.

"It worked," Isabella laughed. "You aren't abusive to loved ones. You don't have erratic relationships, constantly flitting from one to the next, charming your way into people's lives only to discard them. So while your emotions may be fabricated internally, the person you present externally — the side people see — is genuine and unforced.

This is who you are; now, the only thing holding you back is yourself."

"Are you saying... that I am my own deception...?" Evalyn furrowed her brows. She imagined a broken mirror with two halves of her personality staring back at her, each ruthless and cold.

"Why not?" Isabella smirked, taking a sip of her lemon chamomile tea. "That's how people perceive you, how you present yourself and live your life. In every way, you embody that deception; if your feelings matched that facade, people wouldn't notice a difference — but you would."

Evalyn stared at her teacup with a complicated expression. "So you're saying you're okay with my behavior because you expected it?" she asked. "That I'm a liar and was always going to take lives if necessary, so it's acceptable to just embrace that? That it's fine to be toxic and evil?"

"No, sweetheart," Isabella reassured her, holding back tears due to the misunderstanding. "It's okay because you are a good person.

What you were born with and who your father made you doesn't change the fact that you're a good person. It's merely a matter of expression. You should accept what you do because you're saving lives, helping people, and providing them with better futures. That's why I'm not worried about you."

The blonde's heart swelled with emotions that brought tears to her eyes.

"However!" Isabella interjected sharply. "I am NOT okay with that redheaded schemer. I wish bitter clients and victims had dealt with her before you ever met her. If it weren't for her, you'd be a well-loved leader right now! I've been cultivating, and I assure you, I've gained the strength to make her regret the day she ever spoke to you."

Evalyn smiled, relishing the company of her mother figure. She thought about Isabella and the people she had back in her life, feeling grateful for her existence. So, for once, even if only briefly, she allowed herself to enjoy the arrival of Isabella's two children at the perfect moment, savor their shared meal, and cherish her loved ones. She felt incredibly fortunate to have had someone like Isabella in her life.

Yet, it made her ponder over Scarlet and all the traits she had acquired from her that would eventually become hallmarks of the woman known as the Ice Phoenix. After everything she had just learned, she didn't know whether she looked forward to talking with her later that day — or if she feared it.