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Chapter 138: 4.51
Chapter 138: 4.51
Chapter 138: 4.51
The seventh prince's plan was very good.
Unfortunately as the saying goes, 'man proposes, but god disposes'*.
*sometimes god/fate/luck can ruin even the best laid plans
Or maybe it should be 'man proposes, but dragons disposes'.
Despite being a salted fish, Jia Hyson still has his lucky dragon constitution. While he wasn't aware of the seventh prince's plot, his luck wouldn't allow the prince to succeed. After all, this was an incredibly important plot point in the story that would add a bit of suspense and drama that would stimulate the rather slice of life story. If the seventh prince succeeded then what's the point of his OP good fortune ah?
Therefore on the fourth day when Chef Wen was carefully brewing a medicinal soup with the ten thousand year old ginseng the seventh prince had 'found by chance', Jia Hyson and his group of protagonists had entered the palace, coincidentally deciding to visit and stay until the banquet ends which was only a few days away. Not only that, Tang Muxin who had noticed the emperor's weakness beforehand, had also brought a lot of mystical grade herbs that were on the same level and higher than the ten thousand year old ginseng.
How did she get such good things?
Well, by 'chance' of course. ()
Now as long as Chef Wen brought his dish to the emperor and expelled the remnants of the poison before Tang Muxin could properly diagnose the emperor, both he and the seventh prince would be safe. Unfortunately due to a series of events, not only was he one of the last to hear about the dragon envoy's early arrival, some foolish cooking apprentice also accidentally threw water over the fire of his stove, causing Chef Wen to experience a serious delay. And to top it off, a stray bird somehow got into the kitchen, messed the kitchen up with bird droppings and stray feathers before finally meeting it's end but accidentally hitting the wall and falling straight into his medicinal soup with the precious ten thousand year old ginseng.
Chef Wen: '' What dogshit luck was this?
He had to change his dish and use what little ginseng was left, creating a delicious steamed fish that Chef Wen was only barley satisfied with. Unfortunately the time lost was fatal, by the time he was allowed to enter the inner palace to personally present the dish to the emperor, Tang Muxin was already checking the emperor's pulse. And since it was a private consultation, Chef Wen had no choice but to wait outside of the personal rooms and in the hall.
He had been late by only a few minutes.
Jia Hyson was on a silk pillow within petting distance of the emperor, feeding his mouse babies fruit with Da Gong sitting by his side vigilantly. Da Gong constantly was giving the emperor dirty looks. In his opinion, he didn't see why this strange old human insisted on touching his little worm and why all the other humans were just letting him! Even his Ye Cheng didn't dare to stop this human!
It was because even Ye Cheng clearly didn't dare to offend that Da Gong also reluctantly didn't attack either. However how could he be pleased. Could they not see this worm was taken?
This human was so bad! To covet another rooster's worm! They even have kids together!
Tut, tut, really depraved.
The depraved emperor who coveted the worms of rooster's: Suddenly craving for roasted rooster all of a sudden.
Tang Muxin frowns suddenly, she takes out a few medical instruments from her bag, some more modern ones like the stethoscope was specially crafted for her, some were simple but still specially made like the pure silver and gold acupuncture needles.
Typically in ancient dramas silver needles were like the main way to determine if someone had been poisoned but in reality it wasn't really the case.
Silver can detect poisons by turning a black color, specifically in the presence of the very popular arsenic sulfide. Unfortunately they couldn't detect all types, for example cyanide cannot be detected by silver. Not to mention, overexposure to silver can lead to argyrosis. Of course one would need a lot of exposure to silver particles but in the rare chance it was the case, using gold was still a bit safer.
After a few tests and checks, Tang Muxin stares deeply at the emperor with faint pity. "Your highness," She carefully starts, before firming up her resolve and bluntly saying, "I'm sorry but you've been poisoned. I fear it has been quite a long time, causing a slow but persistent decline in your health. There is still quite a bit of buildup of toxins in your body, the good news is it's not too hard to release the bad blood but the damage has already carved itself into your flesh."
The emperor's hands clenched very tightly and paled. After taking a few deep breaths to settle himself, he looked at Tang Muxin with calm but reddened eyes.
"How long?"
Tang Muxin hesitates, "This it's quite hard to say to be honest given my limited information. It's a mix of things, by themselves they don't do much but together can cause quite a, ah, well it causes some toxic buildup and uncomfortable feeling at first. It's hard to discover early stages and only when it reaches a certain point does it all erupt into symptoms that indicate a serious illness. Before that they'll be occasional indigestion, fatigue, increase in appetite, dehydration and maybe dizzy spells. Did you recall experiencing these things before..?"
Of course he did. The emperor's expression was incredibly ugly. The problem was the emperor was sensitive to heat, so during the summer time when the temperature tends to soar, especially in the last few years were droughts were quite constant, he would experience various symptoms similar to what Tang Muxin had listed.
However as the dragon emperor he couldn't reveal this weakness so easily. Only a few close people like the empress, his personal eunuch and closest confidents that he has known since he was young were really aware of the extent of his tendency in getting heatstroke. Even his own sons only thought he just disliked and was the summer heat and preferred to stay indoors during the season.
Living in the palace gave the emperor an instinct district toward his family. He would never show such a big weakness against his sons who have the potential to try kill him in order to seize the throne. While he could never be confident that this secret would never slip it was still a bit of a blow anyway.
Nonetheless, the secret has been leaked therefore there was a traitor in his inner circle of confidents. No matter who, this sort of revelation would never make one feel comfortable.
Fortunately, he had the good fortune to meet the dragon priestess and the dragon who were not only kindhearted, but technically an impartial third party in this palace intrigue.
The emperor was admittedly very tempted to shove all these problems to them to be honest. They were young, open minded, a mix of opinions and different perspectives and skill sets but had a strong sense of unity, smart and had the power of a friggin dragon. He was old and ill and also had great ambitions to be a salted fish emperor okay? And it wasn't like any of his sons had even half their qualifications really. _()_/
Honestly, if the princes could hear their dear emperor father's thoughts it wouldn't have been strange for the country to experience the rare occurrence of having multiple princes rebelling at the same time. They probably wouldn't even want the crown at that point, they would just want to beat their annoying dad until he cried uncle.
Tang Muxin, the medical genius, and Pan Shuchun, who had some basic modern knowledge in medicine, both went on to instruct the emperor of what to do, what to expect, good recovery tricks, probe further about his problem with heat, some good herbal and vitamin rich drinks The emperor had to say, even his mother had never nagged him like this before. It was pleasantly unpleasant.
However of course nagging was still nagging so after a while the novelty quickly faded and the emperor hastily allowed the servant to finally let Chef Wen in.
Entering the room, Chef Wen's hands were clammy and sweaty, and the dish had long lost his warmth, much like how he had long lost his confidence in surviving past the year. Maybe because he was distracted with his own thoughts, or maybe the bad luck was too bad, but after taking a few steps in Chef Wen tripped over his own feet and spilt half of the steamed fish onto the ground.
Chef Wen's black eyes were full of dismay and despair. Even if the emperor didn't kill him for making a fool of himself and possibly suspecting him for treason, and the seventh prince didn't kill him for getting suspected and wasting his super precious ten thousand year ginseng, then he was just going to kill himself. Because this fucking day has really just drained his will to live.
The emperor taps his fingers on his lap. "Are you okay Chef Wen?" He asks kindly, "Servants, please help Chef Wen up!"
Jia Hyson glances at the emperor whose face was filled with nothing but care and concern for a dear friend. It was really hard to believe that the old man was cursing Chef Wen, this heartless treasonous bastard who deserved to have all his five of limbs tied to horses and ripped apart. And yes, he was totally counting the 'third leg' in that count.
After all the most likely suspect is clearly one of the imperial chefs in this poisoning incident. Chef Wen was one of the most notable and in the most ambiguous position as an extremely talented chef who regularly cooks for the emperor but serves the seventh prince. While it was a show of loyal character it was also easy to harbor suspicions, especially with how constant his 'care' had been the last year or so.
Even if it wasn't, the man was still a strong suspect. The emperor would be a fool to trust him right now.
However like the age old saying, 'keep your friends close, and you're enemies closer'. Jia Hyson felt like, for the first time, the emperor was worthy of respect.
Emperor: ..For a split second I thought the dragon was a bit annoying to look at. Was it my imagination ah?
Chef Wen got up with a grateful look at the emperor. Either he was innocent or his acting skill was just as good. Jia Hyson swished his tail, a little excited, it was like he had really entered a court drama where two old veteran film emperors were facing off.
The old chef knew that with the dish ruined, he really had no reason to stay anymore. He had to employ the skill almost every servant had to master when working here.
Cry and hope nobody executes him for this matter.
Looking at the fallen steamed fish dish, big fat tears rolled down his wrinkled cheeks. "I'm sorry your majesty" After getting helped up by the servants he immediately went back down on the floor, but instead of the ungainly heap he had fallen into before he fell into a perfectly submissive kowtow. "Even though this lowly one knows it is only a dish, it is a dish with ten thousand year old ginseng my master had unhesitatingly gifted me in order to strengthen your majesty's great dragon body! This servant is appalled that this servant has hindered your health in such a stupid manner!" Chef Wen hit his head on the floor, from the sound of it, it was no small blow, "This servant is willing to use his lowly life to apologise for his clumsiness!"
Everyone: Old man you really know how to act ah.
The emperor was too lazy to do this back and forth, Waving his hand dismissively he impatiently orders the chef to rise up and to get a nearby servant to collect the remnants of the dish. The emperor gave the servant a pointed look. The silent servant's eyes flashed slightly and quickly and meticulously scooped the destroyed fish back into the dish before walking off at an incredibly fast pace.
Everyone could tell that the emperor planned to test the fish for poison.
However Chef Wen was pretty impressive, as he slowly struggled to stand back up, his expression didn't change at all. There was no sense of unease. Either he really was innocent or the fish wasn't poisoned at all or there was another insider who he was confident in that could fake the results.
The emperor narrows his eyes slightly and taps his finger in a certain rhythm. It was a silent sign for one of his personal shadow guards to also follow the servant in order to minimise the possibility of the third option.
To be fair, even if Chef Wen had brought in a poisonous dish, he really didn't have the energy to be anxious at this point. Today was utterly exhausting for him and he was no longer young anymore.
Cooking was stressful, the kitchen was chaotic and full of smoke and the ability to control the cooking process on their open fires and primitive stoves required a lot of concentration and skill. His own personal ability of utilising spiritual energy was also taxing, and he had to redo his dish on a time constraint as well. Added onto that the fact he had fell heavily then purposely hit his head in order to beg for mercy, it was really just a testament to his stamina and endurance that he hadn't fainted yet.
Still, straightening his back up, he couldn't help but feel weak and sore everywhere. Wobbling slightly his old knees suddenly gave way and he fell again toward the emperor's direction.
Da Gong, seeing this elderly human might fall and crush his little worm, unhesitatingly jumped up to block the chef.
Jia Hyson, touched: Da Gong you're too handsome! ( )
Emperor, touched: Rooster you're really quite handsome! ( )
However Chef Wen was also not one to be scoffed at, seeing he was going to make another blunder, he urged his body to wake up, lifting his foot up and stomping forward, steadying himself and keeping successfully upright and firm again. However because one animal jumped forward and one chef almost fell in the same direction, it was inevitable that there was some contact.
Chef Wen's hand at the lowest point of the fall, right before he forced his leg to steady himself, had brushed against Da Gong's flapping wing. A feeling of static pricked at his skin and black eyes lightened for a moment.
At the same time Da Gong's own silver ones darkened slightly.
It was too fast for most people to see it but Jia Hyson was a dragon now. He, who was paying close attention to the pair was stunned to see this odd reaction. Unfortunately it was so fast Jia Hyson wasn't confident in what he saw and wondered if it was a trick of the light.
Chef Wen stared at Da Gong with increasing horror as knowledge frantically was being assimilated to his brain. Maybe because of the shock, his usual craftiness had ran off and his true brash nature suddenly emerged after years of suffocation under the palace intrigue, causing him to do something brainlessly stupid.
He grabbed Da Gong and ran.
Nobody could react in time. Maybe it was because they were surprised at the unexpected action, dumbfounded by how energetic and powerful Chef Wen suddenly became or maybe just plain shocked the overbearing Da Gong had just let himself be kidnapped.
By the time they recovered Chef Wen was jumping across roofs. it was clear that he had more than just cooking skills that can utilise spiritual energy.
"FIND HIM!" The emperor roars.
Tang Muxin and Duan Mengyao unhesitatingly joined the shadow guards that had popped up to chase the runaway chef. Jia Hyson also ran out, however he quickly slowed down and hid.
"What are you doing?!" Bebe urges. "Da Gong's been kidnapped!"
Jia Hyson's heart was beating with anxiety but he forced it too slow. "But he's not," His tone was a bit snappish but quickly it cools down into a strained calm and measured voice, "think about it, the two are clearly shard pieces. I think I saw something when they touched While there's no evidence right now I believe that Da Gong wouldn't have gone unwillingly. The best thing I could do for Da Gong is to let them talk and believe in him."
Bebe wanted to argue but it stopped before it could voice anything. It's host was right. They didn't understand the shards well and this behaviour from both parties were undoubtedly strange. "Then what do we do?"
Jia Hyson's tail was swinging furiously as he tapped his claws on the rooftop he clung onto. "The plot won't make sense at this rate. Chef Wen's behaviour is illogical My character wouldn't do what I'm doing as well At this rate I'll OOC, no at this rate the story is a mess but I don't know how important Da Gong's talk with that old man is at the very least I must do something that both hinders and helps out of all my skills.."
He opens his eyes brightly, they were clear but at the same time clearly a little mad.
"I'm going to summon the dragons."
"Fuck," Chef Wen curses as he finally locks the door after making sure he lost everyone.
He looks at the silent rooster he had unceremoniously dropped onto the floor and sighs heavily. "This does explain why I wasn't moved by the little dragon at least. It turns out my background is that I was a fake child of the Wen family. Aiyah."
Yes, because Chef Wen was a cannonfodder character that had some importance as the person who personally poisoned the emperor, he had received a lot more information about this world and the story surrounding his person. He now knew who he is and who he truly is.
A piece of a system.
Da Gong had also experienced a great shock. However ultimately compared to the great ups and downs in Chef Wen's mind he was faster to accept.
The sudden knowledge of being a system shard was just that. Knowledge. They were not given any strong memories, only impressions on their mind about their other counterparts as well as a general instinctual feeling about certain things. They didn't have memories of any past identities they may have put on, nor do they know who was winning the race they had been running.
It was similar to if you woke up one day and realized that you were a hamster in your past life. It was interesting and slightly useful information. However it is not something that would completely overturn your world views- except for religious views of course- and overall has minimal effect on your current life. You wouldn't really alter your perception and identify yourself as a hamster after such a revelation, in the same manner Da Gong did not think he was a human or a system. He was merely just Da Gong with a background.
Chef Wen was similar, while he knew he was a system shard he still only saw himself as himself with some newfound knowledge. There were few things he was capable of doing now that he was aware of it but again those things were like a super last resort such as blowing himself up and completely disintegrating his core shard piece in order to completely destroy something or someone. It was seriously the cost of his life and all the experience his shard had accumulated. There were also a lot of other things he could do but the cost was still considerably high.
Chef Wen would like to believe that any shard wouldn't be stupid enough to activate any of the skills. After all their jobs as shards were merely to live a life and take whatever fate they take on. Even if they retained their human selfishness and perspectives of life, it is undeniable that their strong values in terms of their own life and death would drop to negatively levels. Knowing that death is not the end, with solid confirmation that they are just a drop of water that will always return eventually even if in a different shape or form, is both humbling and comforting.
Even though his life was not the best, it could even have been described as unfair and harsh, Chef Wen wouldn't use any of the skills a shard had on hand to change it. It was like cutting off your leg in order to lose a bit of weight, it didn't make sense to do such a thing for something that he understands is insignificant and counterproductive in the grand scheme of things.
Da Gong seeing Chef Wen calm down, finally opened his beak. Because they were shards who had awakened their awareness they could now cross the language barrier similar to how Tang Muxin and Jia Hyson could.
"I want to use one of the skills."
Chef Wen: .
It turned out there was a shard who was willing to use the skills.
Listening to what Da Gong wanted Chef Wen's face became increasingly ugly.
Another reason why the skills they could use were so bad was that if they weren't a balanced shard piece, they would pull down their counterpart for the world they lived in.
For example the suicidal skill of blowing themselves up meant there would be no more of that shard piece in the world. If it's a balanced shard with both yin and yang elements then the only one they would harm is themselves. However if a yang shard did this, then the yin shard who was suddenly left behind in such a violent matter might experience negative feedback due to the unnatural event.
If the yang shard had died naturally it would've been okay but they went against the order to blow themself up using skills that don't belong in this world with a power beyond comprehension against the will of the world's consciousness and heavenly path.
Even the weakest and most pathetic world's consciousness and heavenly path wouldn't allow such a thing to exist upon discovery and the best case in this situation is that the individual with the yin shard would be kicked out of the world and be forced to bond and fuse with a nearby yin shard. Even if it's not as bad as complete destruction, it's undeniable that it meant there was one less yin shard traveling through of various worlds.
Therefore no matter how antagonistic they were to each other, the yin and yang shards instinctively knew not to wield their skills so easily. Even if they were a balanced yin-yang shard who wouldn't pull down anyone with their destruction, because of their own goals they also didn't dare to think about it.
And yet
Chef Wen's temple throbbed.
This fucking pig teammate!
"You can't be serious." He crosses his eyes and stares down at the bird. "I know you're an animal now so your complex thinking is probably hindered but aren't you supposed to be the smart and cold blooded counterpart?"
Da Gong hmph-ed too lazily to answer. After all they both more or less knew the reason why they were split into pieces, and it certainly wasn't to stunt their own character growth
Chef Wen also understood but he was still upset. "You fucking chicken, that skill isn't as bad as the others sure but it will make the progress we've accumulated in this lifetime almost for naught. This old life of mine isn't fucking easy okay. I know I have no memories of my past lives to compare but palace life isn't fun for anyone. It will kill me knowing this life I've lived would be wasted."
Seeing how worked up the other was getting, Da Gong tsk-ed and shook his head. "You're really an idiot. Laozi is ashamed to know you are part of me."
Worse IQ than a rooster Chef Wen: Can I broil you alive?
Even though he's not the smartest person he is still alive isn't he??
Well probably not for long though.
Da Gong explains his idea slowly this time. It seems even though he was just a rooster in this life he still knew how to calculate well. Fortunately Chef Wen's life experience meant he wasn't simple either so after the second time round he understood what the rooster wanted. But he still wasn't happy.
"Fine, I admit it does somewhat benefit me so I can't really complain I guess but why do this at all?" Chef Wen scratches his head, "Look whatever past we have, I personally have nothing against rooster you. While I hate to admit it, if you pass on normally your faction would definitely have an advantage."
Da Gong went silent again. Of course he understood that. Even though he had a smaller rooster brain he perfectly comprehended what he was doing was illogical and destructive.
For animals the prime objective is to live on and reproduce. It is not the individual that matters but the species.
If the shards are the individuals, then the split of personality that differentiates each other, yin, yang and yin-yang are their species they must live for. Right now they are in a competitive relationship vying for the same goal. While each shard doesn't have an awareness on how well their factions are doing it is this unknown that drives them to do their best.
After all, a species that fails to do what it's meant to do
Will of course naturally face extinction.
"I know." Da Gong clucked solemnly, his silver eyes determined, "But I cannot bear to let my little worm be so lonely knowing that I have the ability to change it. If I have to give up a lifetime to accompany my little worm a single day more I gladly will."
Chef Wen: your worm?
Chef Wen squinted, "Wait are you talking about the fucking dragon?!"
Da Gong looks at his counterpart like he had brain damage. "Obviously. Who else is deserving to be my mate?"
Chef Wen:
"You-" Chef Wen squints, "I really want to broil you ah."
In the distance, thunder begins to roll in, a dark and terrifying storm had started to form above the capital.
...
..
.
Extra:
A/N: Well, as an apology for my consistently shitty updates I did another Bebe and Hyson answer Fuck Marry Kill questions with my discord fans~
Here are some of the highlights for all of you to enjoy! If you want to see more check out the discord :3
These are arc 4 characters only! Remember! ARC 4 ONLY
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Mini Mi: Fuck marry or kill ()//: Professor Shen Wu from the second arc, Bebe, Jin Bao's Dad
Little Blue Lake: this was literally the first one let's all judge here _
Jia Hyson: Okay, here me out-
Bebe: Oh my fucking god no.
Jia Hyson: HERE ME OUT
Jia Hyson: Fuck Professor Shen, marry Bebe and kill the dragon dad
Bebe: Wow
Jia Hyson: Fuck the professor because like, I don't know I'm crazy like that. Kill the dragon because I'm not really into lovingly married guys, also the money I would make from it would be so sweet. And then you're leftovers.
Bebe: Wow.
Bebe: Bebe would kill the professor, marry the dragon dad and fuck Bebe :3
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Ciel: Bebe, Jia Hyson, fuck marry or kill: Chef Wen, Yan Huizhong, Pan Shuchun!
Bebe: Hmmm okay, tough one. Marry Chef Wen because his cooking. Fuck Pan Shuchun because well, *cough* she is pretty and independent and Bebe likes that. Then kill Yan Huizhong because eh.
Jia Hyson: I would also marry Chef Wen. His braised rooster was so good and he can put spiritual energy into things so everything he makes is super healthy! Like, yes? Next is fuck Yan Huizhong because he's pretty and a bit crazy and I like that hehe. Then kill Pan Shuchun because eh.
Yan Huizhong and Pan Shuchun: Motherfuckers
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Silly Fox: Ok you two, between the second, fifth and seventh princes who would you fuck, marry, or kill?
Bebe: Which is which ag-
Jia Hyson: FUCK THE SEVENTH PRINCE OH MY GOD YES FUCK HIM, FUCK HIM HARD AND GOOD THEN LET HIM FUCK ME BETTER AHHHH!
Bebe:
Jia Hyson: And uh, I guess marry the fifth prince because we share playboy mentality and we could arrange an open relationship. Then kill scholarly second prince since he's pretentious.
Bebe: Ok. Well Bebe will kill the seventh prince just to spite Bebe's host for starters.
Jia Hyson: Bastard.
Bebe: Then, marry second prince and fuck the fifth. :)
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Nobody: Hi Hyson and bebe, since I've been beaten on asking my main questions... Between the rat, cat and the dog, who will you fuck marry or kill
Jia Hyson and Bebe:
Jia Hyson and Bebe: ....
Jia Hyson and Bebe: .....
Jia Hyson: Fuck the dog. Kill the rat. Marry the cat.
Bebe: Bebe cannot believe you answered that.
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YareYare: To Slag Hyson and uh sidekick Bebe, FMK here are your choices: The pampered/youngest prince, scheming crown prince, and the empress.
Bebe: Who the fuck you calling sidekick?
Jia Hyson: Fuck the crown prince! Always wanted to do that in stories! Plus he is pretty handsome ah~ Then marry the youngest prince and kill the empress.
Bebe: Bebe is surprised you seem like you would've liked the empress.
Jia Hyson: I do, but like, for a fuck. She seems scary to be married to tbh. Look how whipped the emperor is.
Bebe: Fair point.
Bebe: Well marry the empress, then um.
Jia Hyson: So you going to fuck or kill the underage kid?
Bebe:
Jia Hyson: If it helps it is ancient china, that kid already has a small harem in his courtyard.
Bebe: kill the kid, fuck the crown prince.
Jia Hyson: Hahaha child murderer.
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Suzami: Bebe and Jia Hyson, Fuck Marry or kill Ye Chang, Pan Shuchun, and Wen Xia_(:)
Jia Hyson: Christ um, I don't want to marry any of them but I guess Wen Xia is fine to marry since she's rich.
Bebe: You scum. Bebe will marry Pan Shuchun.
Jia Hyson: Then I'll kill Pan Shuchun.
Bebe: Then Bebe will kill Wen XIa.
Jia Hyson: AGHHHH FUCK YOU
Bebe: AHHH YOU WISH
Ye Cheng: 0w0 can I go now?
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hex.2F.45.52.52.4F.52.2F.0#2939: this Happy Reader wants to ask to the charismatic and beloved by the fans Jia Hyson, and to that pig teammate of a bracelet (mainly to Jia Hyson though) - Fuck, Marry, Kill - Best Boi Da Gong The Pitiful World Consciousness The OP Transmigrated Female Assassin Doctor Tang Muxin. As for why this combo, because Da Gong is best boi, world consciousness has spiritual essence, and Tang Muxin is an OP protag with a halo. So, yeah it's random.
Jia Hyson: Oooh
Jia Hyson: Can we kill the world's consciousness?
Bebe: Bebe guess technically it's possible.
Jia Hyson: Well theoretically if we do, can we keep it's shit?
Bebe: Bebe supposes
Jia Hyson:
Bebe:
Jia Hyson: On the count of three?
Bebe: One, two, three-
Jia Hyson and Bebe: Fuck Tang Muxin, marry Da Gong, kill the world's consciousness!
World's consciousness: QAQ?!
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Naneya: Ok then, dumb and sluttier. Who would you fuck, marry, kill? Pan Shuchun, Chef Wu, or Da Gong?
Jia Hyson: Dude.
Bebe: I know right.
Jia Hyson: Yeah you can't just call Bebe all that. Tsk, tsk how rude.
Bebe: This is why we will never evolve our friendship into something more.
Jia Hyson: Oh. No. I'm so full of regret. Deadpanface.jpeg
Bebe: Anyway marry Chef Wu, fuck Pan Shuchun. Sorry Da Gong.
Jia Hyson: Marry Da Gong, fuck Chef Wu and hope Da Gong will understand me bring him as my concubine because he provides food and sex to the table. Then kill Pan Shuchun (sorry not sorry).
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li: Jia Hyson and Bebe. Fmk little blue lake, da gong, dragon dad.
Jia Hyson: OOH going meta are we? I like it.
Bebe: Please don't do this. What if I get written off.
Jia Hyson: Well first, fuck LittleBlueL-
Bebe: NOOOO DONT DO THIS WE'LL GET CANCELED YOU STUPID HORNY FUCK
Jia Hyson: Look, it's already an option clearly the author god is okay with it.
Bebe: Please.. Bebe needs to keep the laser.
Jia Hyson: .Who's the stupid fuck now?
Jia Hyson: Okay marry Da Gong, fuck the dragon dad, kill LittleBlueLake are you happy?
Bebe:
Bebe: NO. WHAT THE FUCK.
Bebe: Bebe, Bebe will marry the author god, fuck the dragon dad and kill Da Gong QAQ please don't go on another hiatus, Bebe needs to be loved.
Jia Hyson: God you're sad.
Jia Hyson: ....But tbh I also need to be loved so please stop taking so long to post.
LBL: _(:3)_