Reborn As A Ghost: Time To Build My Undead Army!

Chapter 285 Sorting Out Thoughts

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I suppose having done the deed doesn’t mean we are instantly… in a relationship, that’s something that must be established officially, isn’t it? Huh… How can I make it reasonable, I wonder? Do I just ask her? Ah, what if she says she doesn’t like to get tied? Ah, or maybe I would be abusing it? Or perhaps it is too soon? Yeah, it is way too soon, maybe we should develop our bond together some more…

And what about Lucifer and Emeraldine? Ugh, romancing three people at once is very hard, how could these harem protagonist do it so swiftly? I have to think about their feelings, and how each one feels about me and the entire relationship, things are not easy at all, if I slip off, I might make someone angry, and if I prioritize giving love to one above the others, I will make the others feel left out, as if I had a “favorite”… Wow, this is so overly complicated. I guess harem relationships are not realistic at all._.

But I have to somehow pull through this on my own, I cannot really go back on my words, I just love them all so much… I am glad they accept one another and are friends, but it seems they have not even developed feelings for one another, just friendship and some rivalry, perhaps Partner and Emeraldine are good friends, while Lucifer is a more distant friend from the two girls as he’s a male, and very silent at times, so I suppose he cannot connect well with the girls, but he does connect well with me. I guess with him, I have to mostly be alone, while it is easier to be with Emeraldine and Partner at the same time acting lovingly, Lucifer is way too shy and reserved, so I have to give him his “special time” where we are the two together alone.

Of course, I do the same with Partner and Emeraldine, I am not making Lucifer my favorite or something! H-He’s just my grumpy and shy dragon, so I have to treat him well… Ugh, it is really hard to handle this relationship. Well, they’re not even official yet, but it is sure as hell that they don’t want to be with anybody else than me, I would had already seen them ogling other people, but they only got eyes for me. Very problematic, perhaps I should had stayed as a formless specter instead of shaping myself as a woman, maybe in that form I wouldn’t be liked? …Hard to tell, all three of them are a bit insane in their own accords.

Ugh, I better never say that in front of anybody, even less these three… I mean, they’re not bad, but like me, they got some… insanity. Lucifer died horribly, betrayed, and has been sealed for an eternity, knowing his family got killed by the humans, Emeraldine went through utter suffering when she was enslaved, constantly used as a sexual slave, she was absolutely broken when I meet her, and she had barely managed to regain her self-confidence all because of me, and then there is Partner… She’s… well, she was a skeleton and then a vampire? I guess she’s the “sanest” but because of her monster-like instincts, for anybody that is “normal” she’s an insane person because she lacks common sense.

And then there’s me! I died horribly in my first life, and then in my second life, and turned into a ghost, and I am secretly filled with hatred and resentment, enough that I could even disregard everything I’ve done and just slaughter all the people I saw just to satisfy this lingering desire of “revenge”. Phew, thankfully I still got my mind from my first life, which stops my insanity from getting out… most of the time. Who would had known that being a shy girl without any self-confidence that always bottled up her emotions would help at bottling up this resentment and hatred as a ghost? I guess you could call it a natural talent, alongside being overly quick at adapting to situations…

I am pretty good at that, yeah, but that’s not the whole point of it! I was talking about relationships, not me, I don’t matter on this- Wait, I kind of do… I… I guess I am the one connecting all three of these people together into a family, I am the core of their lives in a way too… I-I mean, all three of them had called me their “world” and Lucifer always calls me “my most precious treasure”, s-so it is a bit important for me to recognize my value, I guess.

And… It is hard, it is quite hard to handle the relationship, I don’t know I can even add another person. Thankfully, I’ve been rejecting anyone that might had tried to, I still remember all those goblins that tried, and sometimes former slaves’ citizens brought me flowers, or food, and asked me out in a date out of nowhere… I had to reject them all, sadly. I always feel terrible when I do this, especially because in my first life I was always being rejected.

?[0)??? I suppose popular girls back then lacked empathy so they didn’t felt so bad, but man, it hurts me to see them sad, so I try to cheer them up by petting their heads, or gifting them something so they don’t go away all saddened, so a lot of people in my town already got some sort of little gift from me which they treasure… I hope they can find love in each other instead of trying to romance their queen, it is not realistic, you guys…

Anyways, after having sorted out my thoughts and having relaxed my mind, I finally looked into the window, the sun was high atop the skies, it was a beautiful day, although we were in quite the poor street so there were very shady people walking around, but its not like we were staying all day in here, in some hours, we’ll try to stay in the Duchess manor.

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