Chapter 34 - Impotent for Life!
Chapter 34 - Impotent for Life!
Chapter 34 - Impotent for Life!
Yalance had a western setting, and there were many kinds of races. The races had different eye colour, however light purple was rare. Although it was not a characteristic of any race, this rare characteristic represented a few people.
There was one such person in Suo Fei’s memory.
His name was Emia who was a Sylph. Although he was not someone of royal lineage, his status was high.
Every hundred years, a Seer would be born in the Sylph race. They believed that the Seer’s soul is immortal and that they would reincarnate every generation. Although they were so weak that they could not even withstand a single blow, they had the ability to foretell the future.
Because of this ability, they were well-protected by the Sylphs. They were worshipped by their race, and the whole Yalance was filled with curiosity about them.
Naturally, this curiosity caused a lot of ambitious people to try to control them.
However, Seers would lose their prophetic ability if they were forced. Then, their body would collapse and fall into reincarnation.
The person who forced the Seer would suffer from an extremely cruel curse for a lifetime. As for what the curse would be, it differed every time.
Emia was exactly the Sylph race’s Seer that would only appear every hundred years.
He had beautiful, long light purple hair. He had a bewitching appearance unique to Sylphs. Most Sylphs were asexual, thus their beauty stood out from the crowd.
If the Celestials were noble and holy, the Elves were gorgeous and delicate, and the Demons were overbearing and wild, then the Sylphs were bewitching and charming.
An indescribable charm surrounded their every move. Their eyes would droop down when they smile, their tender and loving gaze enticing anyone.
The Seer of the Sylph race, Emia, was a living example of an enchantress. His face may not be as exquisite as Manzy’s, but his temperament was definitely enough to set off the hormones of any male.
When Suo Fei first met Emia when he was playing a game, his hormone level shot up unwaveringly. How could he be worthy of his ‘ultimate gong’ title if he didn’t take such an enchantress into his harem!
Unfortunately... Emia was not a conquerable character!
Such a beautiful enchantress that was emitting a seductive aura in all directions was actually not a conquerable character. This is impossible, Suo Fei thought at that time.
Suo Fei refused to believe it and wanted to forcibly conquer him. Then a tragic matter happened. Although the forced Emia was as bewitching as before, he lost his prophetic ability. Then, his body functions started to gradually decline and he eventually died.
Suo Fei only found out after Emia’s death that he would immediately receive a curse after forcing him.
The name of the curse was straightforward: Emia’s Curse.
Afterwards... Suo Fei spat out three litres of blood in frustration. The curse he arbitrarily got was a lifetime of impotency!
I bought a lot of watches last year! I also mowed a lot of grass! (Yes, this is an upgraded version of ‘I bought a watch last year and ‘I mowed the grass’.)
Suo Fei looked at the cruel “debuff” in his status bar and utterly collapsed.
Is there anything more tragic than this? He is a dignified ultimate gong playing a highly explicit BL game. But, he was actually impotent for life! Then what is he playing for? Watch a bunch of peerless lil’ shous have fun and look on in despair?
What was even more tragic was that when he was forcing Emia, he detestably didn’t save the game file, so he could only load the game to the last save file. It was truly, exceedingly tragic!
Therefore, even though Emia was good-looking, he was not the least bit interested. He was a pit, a bottomless pit unparalleled in this world. Anyone who fell into this pit would be screwed over ceaselessly until death.
If you assumed that the entanglement between Emia and him had ended with this matter, then you’re really underestimating this game’s capability!
Just when Suo Fei was about to forget this embarrassing past of being cursed with impotence, game-kun became mischievous once again.
When Suo Fei was conquering the lil’ shou of the Dwarves, he followed the directions to Benesse City to find the highest grade items to hoodwink the dwarf lil’ shou. The search process was a puzzle game which made Suo Fei want to smash the mouse.
It relied on his IQ level and Suo Fei really didn’t want to waste time, so he just asked Miss Baidu for a walkthrough and was fortunate to find tips from an expert.
It turned out that there were a few places in Benesse’s lower layer that would sell high-grade items at extremely low prices. This was simply a shortcut to getting rich.
Suo Fei minutely jotted it down and hurriedly arrived at Benesse City, but unexpectedly encountered Emia.
The scene was similar to what was in front of him at this moment. Even if he changed his appearance, the Sylph Seer was still so attractive that others simply could not stop their raging hormones. Thus, a gang of wretched Humans encircled him.
When Suo Fei was playing the game, he was momentarily kind-hearted, thinking that he had f**ked Emia to death (fog) so he somewhat could not bear seeing him being surrounded. Like a god that descended, he easily finished off the miniscule humans and saved Emia.
Emia had good manners and thanked him profusely but he still left in a hurry.
Suo Fei didn’t think too much about it and only thought that he had a lucky encounter. He surmised that he had triggered a hidden storyline which could increase Emia’s favourability and allow him to conquer Emia.
After imagining such a situation, he rushed to the few places that were mentioned in the walkthrough, wanting to quickly acquire the items and make a fortune.
Who would have thought that after dashing to those few stalls, he could not find any sign of those few items. It would have been fine if it was only once or twice. However, all of the four places actually claimed that they didn’t have the items!
What kind of scenario is this?
Suo Fei was furious. He hurriedly went to Miss Baidu again and saw a post. The OP wrote a shocking information in bright red: If you meet Emia in Benesse, don’t ever rescue him!!!
Suo Fei was puzzled. Other people who read the post were also puzzled. Thus, there was a long list of replies asking why.
Suo Fei had to load the next page to see the OP’s reply. Then, he could have opened a watch shop last year! (yes, this is the update v2.0 of ‘I bought a watch last year’)
Emia is such a cheater! Shouldn’t a Seer be like a celestial being who never involved himself in worldly affairs? However, this scum actually used his prophetic ability to foresee the location of the treasures and freaking went to the market of Benesse City’s lower layer! This is cheating, for sure! You are an npc but you still steal treasures from players!
Just how perverted are these damn game developers? What are all these deceitful storylines?
At this moment, Suo Fei was truly in the real world of Yalance and the scene that he had seen in the game appeared once again, filling him with overwhelming emotion.
After calming down his raging emotions, he planned to drag Samael and run away.
I can’t afford to be slow.Must quickly leave first and acquire the treasures while this cheating scum is still being pestered by others or else the treasure would surely disappear without a trace.
Suo Fei’s gaze had been fixed on Emia when he was reminiscing. His gaze was so focused that it was difficult for Samael to not notice. So, Samael followed Suo Fei’s line of sight and saw Emia. His expression darkened in an instant.
Suo Fei just happened to snap back to reality at that instant and saw Samael staring at Emia, setting off alarms in his mind.
Ultimate gong’s soul, don’t wake up at this time! Don’t be fooled by that guy’s appearance! I’m not stopping you from taking people into your harem but you definitely can’t take this scum in. It’s a trap! If you really jumped into this trap, you would become impotent!
The more he thought, the more anxious he became. In the end, Suo Fei simply placed his hand on Samael’s face and earnestly said, “Don’t look.”
This sudden action startled Samael, but he gradually smiled and replied under his breath, “Okay.”
Suo Fei was frightened by his stupid and foolish action. Why is the atmosphere extremely like a prime-time idol drama?
He quickly withdrew his hand and tried to remedy the situation by adding, “Y-you shouldn’t approach him!”
Samael took his hand and replied, “Okay.” The softness of his low voice stirred something inside Suo Fei.
Suo Fei’s brain crashed. This atmosphere is about to be upgraded to aChiung Yaodrama! Aaaah! This is such a ‘making trouble out of nothing’ x ‘don’t know how to appease his lover’ scene. He wanted to explain his original intention but...
F**K ME. Long time no see, sociophobia-kun. What a timely appearance! But... Can you control yourself a little?
Suo Fei could not utter a word so he gave up trying. Instead, he relied on his actions and dragged Samael along as he started running in big strides.
He acted quickly with a clear purpose so he had already gone to three stalls in the twinkling of an eye and had acquired a worn-out book, tattered clothes, and an interspatial bag that was only the size of a cube.
There was only one place left. Suo Fei took a deep breath and, brimming with ambition, he dashed towards the last stall.
The seller was a goblin aunt. Her short, round body was unexpectedly well-endowed. She had just set up her stall when Suo Fei impatiently arrived.
Goblins were inherently eloquent. Seeing Suo Fei’s manner, she immediately greeted him and boasted to high heavens about her stall’s items. Although her stall was only located in the lower layer of Benesse City, she gave the impression that you would miss out on high-quality goods if you didn’t buy from her.
Suo Fei ignored the long row of dazzling goldware but instead picked up the broken sword at the corner and asked its price. The goblin aunt obviously didn’t expect that someone would still want the useless junk.
Although goblins were unscrupulous profiteers, the aunt was still a profiteer that had her own bottom line. Looking at the boy’s adorably fair and delicate appearance, she was somewhat reluctant to dupe him too much. Thus, she prattled on and tried to change Suo Fei’s mind by recommending a golden longsword.
Suo Fei did not concur and continued to hold onto the broken sword.
In the end, the goblin aunt had no choice but to cheat him and sell the thing that she originally wanted to throw away.
They had just completed their transaction when Suo Fei saw Emia hurrying over.
He quickly put everything into his interspatial bag. Then, he squared his shoulders and put on his best front as if he was meeting his enemy.
Although Emia was out of breath, his beautiful appearance still caught the eyes of others. He had already made his appearance less outstanding, but even so, the way he stopped to catch his breath still caused people to be entranced.
He looked at Suo Fei. His limpid eyes were full of passion as he spoke, “Elf, can you resell the iron sword that you bought just now to me? I’ll pay you twice the price.”
Suo Fei was extremely mirthful. Cheater, you had it coming!
Twice the price? So enticing, ne. Who are you trying to deceive? Do you really think that laozi can’t determine whether a good is valuable or not?
Suo Fei was unmoved and he coldly stared at Emia.
At this moment, Emia realised that he had encountered an expert. He retracted his light-hearted appearance and became serious, “Elf, I really need it. Name me your price.”
Suo Fei didn’t want to reply. He truly didn’t want to be further involved with Emia and it would have been better if they never met.
However, Emia’s words at this moment completely changed his mind.
“I can trade it with the Brewmoon Springwater and the Sky Crane Silk!”
Suo Fei was stunned. The broken sword was indeed a treasure as there was a rare and expensive tenth-grade material hidden inside it. The two materials that Emia wanted to trade were also tenth-grade materials which were just as rare and expensive. More importantly, these two materials were on the list of materials that Eugene had asked him to gather!
Now, two of them are within his reach!
It turned out to be easier than he had expected. For fear of Emia going back on his words, Suo Fei immediately took out the broken sword.
Emia also took out a jade bottle and a cloth bag.
Suo Fei was just about to hand it over when Samael, who had been keeping his silence, finally spoke, “Wait, buy a material appraiser first.”
Suo Fei froze and a jolt of realisation coursed through him. Oh crap! ??He almost made another blunder. He was too hasty to trade with Emia that Emia could have cheated him!
The material appraiser was a small instrument made by the dwarves which could accurately identify the grade and name of materials. This thing was not cheap, but it was necessary for large transactions.
Emia also agreed. Actually, Emia already had a material appraiser but he did not take it out to show his sincerity.
If they used his appraiser, who would have known if he had tampered with it or not?
Suo Fei spent five thousand gold coins to buy the appraiser. Although his heart ached to spend that much money, it was merely a drop in the ocean when compared with the tenth-grade materials that were in front of him.
The material appraiser was only the size of a palm. It only needed to touch the material and the result would be determined in a few minutes.
Suo Fei nervously stuck the appraiser to the jade bottle and the cloth bag. They quietly waited for a while before the appraiser showed the results.
Brewmoon Springwater, Tenth-grade Water-type Material.
Sky Crane Silk, Tenth-grade Wood-type material.
After verifying the authenticity of the materials, Suo Fei finally completed his trade with Emia.
Suo Fei was overjoyed to obtain the two materials with such ease, so much so that his eyes were much friendlier when he looked at Emia.
After parting ways with Emia, Suo Fei wanted to buy beast blood for Samael next.
However, he had just turned around the corner of the road when he saw a familiar figure.
That striking silver hair, pointed ears, and a pair of eyes that were changed to crimson.
Grantlyn Evans!