Records of Rebirth

Chapter 186 - Asphyxia

Arsinoe leaned against the wall of her cell, feeling refreshed as the cold stone touched her burning head.

The intense vibrations that filled her cell were now completely gone, but not long ago, the terrifying tremors had been so great that she felt like the whole cave would collapse.

There had been all sorts of frantic movements, and even the screech of some kind of creature.

At the time she had wanted to leave her cell to investigate, but her instincts screamed at her to stay put.

Something about the noises just didn't seem right, and after being 'abandoned' by Artemis and the other captains, her pride made her reluctant to see them again.

And so, she sulked in her cell for a while longer, just to see if anyone would come for her.

But once again that didn't happen.

The noises died down eventually and she never learnt what had caused them.

In the end, it seemed things had worked themselves out even without her involvement.

Although she knew she should have been soothed by this, she only felt terribly defeated and she couldn't help straining herself to see above her cell.

Would it have been so terrible for one of her fellow snakes to rush down and ask for help?

Where were her team members who had praised her for her bravery?

Did they no longer need her now?

Eventually her curiosity got the better of her and she decided to climb out, but her body suddenly refused to work with her.

After training non-stop for the duration of her punishment, she realised she now burned hot with fever. Her sight had gotten blurry and the sudden jolt of her movement as she tried to climb, sent her vision spinning in circles.

Prior to this, she hadn't paid much attention to her body to realise the effects. And now as a result, whenever she tried to climb up, the weakness of her body caused her to fall.

Leaning against the wall of her cell, the silence was deafening.

And aside from her ragged breathing, she heard almost nothing else.

Her blurred vision intensified, and this made her even more upset, but she decided to try again one last time.

Unfortunately, at her highest point of climbing, she lost her grip and fell off the wall, crashing to the bottom of her cell in a harsh slump – the impact sapping the last of her strength.

And now she could barely keep her eyes open, not even able to move an inch until her depleted stamina refilled.

Arsinoe knew she had herself to blame, even the voice in her head told her so, but her arrogance refused to let her admit this.

She secretly wished she hadn't trained so hard, because now she was too weak to even use her skills.

She opened up status to check her results, but the words blurred before her eyes. And when she strained her senses to listen to the little sounds coming from above, they all sounded so far away.

[Why am I working so hard for those that don't appreciate me?]

The question crossed her mind, but she wasn't sure of the answer. 

Why was she in this situation?

Tired and defeated for something that wasn't even her fault.

Wasn't it because she wanted to prove herself?

[I shouldn't tolerate this.]

Why was she living through such mistreatment like nothing was wrong?

[I'm stronger than all of them combined. They should bow their heads to me.]

She was stronger than Artemis. She had defeated him many times in the past. She was stronger than Galahad, and she had defeated his creature only recently. 

And she knew she could defeat Morgana if she fought with her current stats.

So why was she not a captain?

She should have been chosen instead of them.

They should have been the one to follow her instructions and hang on her every word.

[Yet it's the opposite. And so, whose fault is it?]

Who was responsible for her present reality?

Of course, it was 'her' but she somehow didn't completely agree, because her inner thoughts proved otherwise.

[I'm the one at fault, for staying somewhere I'm not needed...] 

[If they don't appreciate me, I should just leave.]

Why didn't she just leave?

It was like something clicked within her psyche.

And as Arsinoe lay on the cold ground, the words echoed through her thoughts. 

The statement completely made sense because she wasn't needed, and she finally understood the reason for the discomfort she felt while in 'her' presence.

With 'her' here, Typhon and Ophelia had no need for her 'bravery', because what was the use of that in the face of someone so much stronger than them? 

'She' had beaten them all on her own, showing clearly that 'she' had no need for them. 

Yet she stayed anyway. 

Typhon and Ophelia probably realised this, which was why they chose to follow 'her' and unconsciously discard her in the process.

Arsinoe soon realised that her rebellion was only due to her sense of inferiority. Her weak body no longer felt hot, rather she grew as cold as the ground she laid on. 

Although it was heart-breaking, she realized letting go was for the best.

Soon she was swallowed up by disparaging thoughts, and a slimy sensation covered her body like the embrace of something cold and wet. It filled her with doubt, causing further pressure to well up inside her mind.

She doubted herself for the first time, the confidence from before completely stripped away.

With it gone, she was nothing but a tiny timid serpent, and there was nothing else to keep the heavy feeling from pinning her to the ground.

When she stared up at the top of her cell, it now resembled a steep mountain, whose tips she was never meant to reach.

More and more she felt herself sinking into the ground, its texture and feeling not much different from wet mud. She felt her head submerge and the dirt clog up her nostrils, blocking her airway. 

She felt herself suffocate.

Arsinoe did not struggle to breathe in the midst of the crushing feeling, because her body was far too weak. And while she wanted to dispel the wet feeling blocking her airways, she couldn't, and a stinging pain filled her eyes, as she welled up with tears.

[Arsinoe…are you okay?]

A loud chirpy voice shattered the illusion and suddenly Arsinoe could breathe again. She looked up to see the pattern of one of the twin healers, but her blurred vision only let her know it was Lyra because of her voice.

Arsinoe couldn't focus on her figure at all and when she tried to, the choking feeling welled up once one, making her suck in deep breaths to try and get rid of it, and she gasped and coughed although nothing came up from her throat.

[Arsinoe?] Lyra's voice was filled with concern.

Why couldn't she leave her alone? She didn't want anyone to see her like this.

[Arsinoe…] Lyra worriedly repeated. [Do you need help…?]

[WHAT DO YOU WANT?] Arsinoe yelled, her voice sounding extremely hoarse, even to her senses.

Lyra backed away in shock. [I-I just came to see how you were doing. If I disturbed you, d-don't be angry.]

Angry?

So just like Morgana she had come to laugh at her.

[Why did you come here?!] Arsinoe cried out in protest. 

Her body felt weak, she was extremely tired, and the heavy feeling refused to go away. Just the thought of hearing Lyra talk infuriated her. 

[I know you already see me as a joke. There's no need for you to come down here to laugh at me.]

[I-I don't. I'd never!] Lyra said in panic. [What's wrong with you. Are you feeling unwell?]

Arsinoe grimaced. So now she thought she was crazy.

[Nothing's wrong with me. I just don't want to see you – or any of you. Ever.]

Lyra took one look at her and burst into tears.

[I-I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry. I just came to see if you were okay. I wanted to know if you need somebody to talk to.]

The hypocrite.

If she wanted to say that, where had she been all this time?

And why was she suddenly crying? 

Was she doing that to make everyone dislike her even more?

[I don't need it.] Arsinoe hissed in anger. [And I don't want you to visit either. You can go back up and tell the others the same.]

Hearing this, Lyra looked even more saddened. She tried to explain all that had occurred and that no one had forgotten her, but Arsinoe refused to listen.

Somehow the sight of Lyra made her feel repulsed.

She couldn't explain it, but she had a strong feeling of disgust whenever the crying snake got near to her cell to speak, like an itchy feeling coursing through her body.

Perhaps it was because she was crying, and she found her pathetic, but the sudden urge to turn the other way was unlike anything she'd ever felt before.

[Will you stop crying?!] She shouted at her. [If you can't say anything useful, then just leave!]

Arsinoe may have said the words, but she never expected Lyra to actually turn around and flee like her life depended on it.

And as her cries echoed through the numerous cells, Arsinoe realised the carefree healer who was normally very pleasant, had been utterly reduced to a tearful mess because of her - which would only make her situation worse.