Reject Humanity, Return to Monke

Chapter 111 - Monke And Battle Royales (22)

Returning back to camp was as uneventful as taking a shower back in my home world. There were no slip-ups, no interruptions, and no drops of the supply (soap), if you know what I mean.

Instead of walking back to the camp, we were jogging at a steady pace, Typhial being my guide towards the camp without getting lost.

It took about an hour of jogging non-stop (Thank the System for that, even though I have my gripes with it) to reach back to the camp. Looking around, I saw that the majority of the damage caused by the earlier attack was fixed and the only visible impacts of the raid were some scorch marks on the ground, as well as a few missing tents, which I assume were owned by the Dungeon Masters who were disqualified.

"Hey, ya both back already? Must be a good as gold find, mates." Arekhus greeted us at the gate, his axe hanging on his waist, a clear sign that he was ready for any kind of assault. Once he saw both our expressions, however, his cheery face transformed into a serious one. "Wat 'appened?"

"Jionni accidentally killed a Dungeon Master affiliated with another group. We're on our way to Lady Oshurkova to report and figure out what kind of group we're dealing with here." Typhial said it all in one breath, her breathing calm and normal, not what you would expect from a person who was on the cusp of a dangerous situation, as well as just fresh off from a jog worth one hour.

"Damn. Ya bettah hop ta it, then." Arekhus gave us passage, and we wasted no time jogging all the way towards the tent where Oshurkova was currently staying. Outside of her tent, we noticed Reia, as well as the other maid whose color scheme was the inverse of the skimpy maid, not that they were any different since the maid also wore skimpy clothing, guarding the outside of the tent with Reia having a cheerful face, and the other maid having goth make-up and a metaphorical cloud hanging above her head.

'… An emo maid…? Well, now I've seen everything.' I thought as both I and Typhial approached the two maids, where Reia beamed at both of us, appearing in sync.

"Lord Jionni-ta! Typhial-ta! Back already-ta?" Reia hopped and skipped towards us with a very bright smile. The other maid, however, remained in her spot, refusing to move except for her eyes staring at us both.

"Yes, yes, you thieving maid." Typhial growled out as she clenched her right fist. Reia grinned smugly in response to the harpy's verbal toxicity, a grin she knew was all too visible to the annoyed harpy.

"Thief of what-ta? Thief of the heart of your beloved-ta?" The skimpy maid tried to hold back a snicker, but failed as the sound was heard by the harpy, who was now visibly sporting a vein on her forehead.

Seeing that the situation was about to devolve into something dangerous, as well as completely ridiculous, I had to step in, lest the harpy's mood plummeted further and she decided to commit war crimes against the skimpy maid.

"Alright, that's enough." I quickly placed my body in full danger in front of the two females, who were in a battle of glares and wits. "Reia, please call Oshurkova. We have some important news to deliver."

That made Reia's bright and sunny behavior to change into a respectable maid befitting of her position, save for the skimpy clothing, of course.

"Right this way, then-ta." Reia bowed before me and led me, and the still frothing harpy behind me into the tent. The other maid just kept on staring at us, but otherwise, did nothing to halt our advance.

Once inside, I found Oshurkova buried under a stack of papers, her pout in full force as tears continued on dripping from her eyes.

"Stupid papers… Stupid logistics… They had to follow me all the way to the events…" Oshurkova's hands blurred on top of the paper, some of the papers getting signed with her signatures, while others were quickly disposed of and thrown into the shredder right beside her.

It continued like this until Reia made herself known to the crying Dungeon Master with a fake cough.

"Lady Oshurkova, Lord Jionni and Typhial are here regarding some important news-ta." Reia bowed and Oshurkova stopped her hands blurring any further. She looked at me like I was some kind of savior that saved her from her dreaded mortal enemy.

"Jionni! Typhial! Come in. Take a seat!I implore you, sit!" Her voice gained a somewhat maniacal edge as her dilated eyes looked at us and quickly prepared a few seats for the two of us to sit on. She also prepared one for herself that was… quite the distance from the stacks of paper. "Would you like some tea?"

I was about to respond, but my words died in my mouth as Oshurkova quickly prepared a table and made a magical teapot, as well as some teacups, appear out of thin air. Reia looked at the display with dejection in her eyes, probably because she wasn't able to either serve us as a maid should, or serve her master, and as usual, as a maid should.

Typhial, however, was over the moon the moment Oshurkova asked about serving tea. I could already picture the thoughts that were raging inside her mind.

'QUEEN OSHURKOVA IS SERVING ME TEA!!! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!!' Was the thought I assumed was going through her mind.

Oshurkova poured us tea, making Reia even more dejected and Typhial go into a higher state of euphoria than she already was.

I had the urge to cringe, but was able to push it down and take a cup of tea and pour it down the hatch. Not gonna lie, the tea was good, a good blend of sweet and bitter, with a calming fragrance.

A bit of a trip down memory lane back when I was on Earth. During those stressful times, somehow, tea was able to keep me from going nuts, and I am forever thankful for the tea.

"This is some good shit." I inadvertently said my mind out loud, causing Typhial and Reia to look at me like some kind of delinquent with horror present on their faces, but Oshurkova snorted and smiled, her previously dilated eyes returning back to normal as she took a sip from her own cup.

"Right?" This caused Reia and Typhial to once again show their shocked expressions to the world, which both I and Oshurkova promptly ignored.

We spent time like that for a few minutes, and before long, even Typhial decided to join us in drinking tea, with Reia observing us, before excusing herself to return to her post.

Once the teapot was emptied, however, Oshurkova's face began to look serious, her gaze focused on me and Typhial, who flinched at the sudden stare.

"Well then, what's this important news you were about to give me?"