Reject Humanity, Return to Monke

Chapter 150 - Monke MOBA (Third Match)

Nothing of note happened during our time chatting about the different viable strategies we could use against our next opponent in the next match. There was nothing to add to our strategy other than to make sure we kept denying them Resource points and hope we could upgrade our Mons to better push the lane when it was time to push.

The black expanse of the void soon vanished once the timer struck zero, and in its place, a foreign area which was incredibly different from the last arena took its place.

"… Damn my old fungus… It's freezing!" Shrum shivered as his mushroom body took the brunt of the cold wind assaulting every part of our team without remorse.

"Tch, bad day to take less clothing in favor of mobility." Typhial said with a scowl, her wings wrapping around herself in an attempt to conserve body heat.

"As much as I don't want to agree, I'm with ya on this one…" Catalina agreed with a nod as she stuck herself close to my body in an attempt to share body heat.

"… At least my apparel helps me conserve heat in my body, not that I need it anyway." Oshurkova mused, flaunting her non-affected body from the cold by twirling around, causing the robe to rise high, exposing her leggings-covered legs.

"… As much as my fur can keep me warm, this kind of temperature is too much for me." I admitted with a grimace. Yes, I'm a gorilla, but I ain't as hell a mountain gorilla with very thick fur. Quickly donning my Monkey King's Garb and layering on top of it my Armor of the Primates, I surprised the sticking catwoman due to a spike nearly piercing her eye. "Oops, sorry."

"Damn… That's one helluva armor you got there." Catalina touched the tip of the spike with her finger, running it down its meager length with a curious gaze. "Pretty terrifying. I can guess those pests you fight with this on shit their pants every time."

Catalina laughed, as did Oshurkova. Typhial looked at my apparel with disgust, due to her tastes of elegance, and my armor isn't one for elegance. Shrum didn't care, but looked at me like I was some kind of savior.

"Please, young'un, care to offer some clothes for the elderly?" Shrum bowed before me like a peasant would to his lord, an action that sent some hideous thoughts into my mind, such as the reason for his posture being so perfectly maintained.

"Alright. You're all lucky that I got these ready in my hammerspace." I quickly grabbed three thick robes that could be worn by any race, as long as they were humanoid in shape. Handing it to the three that needed them the most, I saw them rushing to get it on themselves the moment their hands touched the robes. "You need one too, Kova?"

"No need. My body doesn't need to be regulated by temperature. Thanks for the thought, though, Jion." She gave me a smile, taking the nickname Catalina gave me, which put a frown on the catwoman's face.

"Hey, hands off, he's mine." Catalina put herself between Oshurkova and me, the thick robe she wore fluttering in the breeze. Behind her, I saw Typhial cheering on the catwoman, even if they were known to be in some kind of frenemy relationship which sometimes borders on the enemy bit.

That's probably her inner yandere speaking, though. I can understand the reason why she would root for the catwoman in making the Russian vampire to back off.

"No need to get so territorial." Oshurkova laughed gently as she waved her hand back and forth elegantly. "I may be interested in Jion here as a subordinate and equal, but not as a man."

This got both Typhial and Catalina to relax slightly, the latter leaning into me with a glare still focused on the vampire.

"Yet."

And that single word quickly got their guards back to full tilt.

'Why…? I can't believe you've done this, Kova.' My inner monologue going unheard, I saw Catalina pressing herself against me like some kind of territorial cat. Typhial, on the other hand, was having a mental breakdown at the thought of her Queen being interested in another person except for her.

Looking at Oshurkova though, I could see her snickering at the two for their over-the-top reaction. So, it was a prank…

"Not the time…" My voice escaped my lips. My team members focused their gazes on me, who was wearing a serious face. "The Mons will spawn any second now. I suggest we finish this match before doing another prank like this."

Learning that Oshurkova was just busting their chops, the two affected women heaved out a sigh of relief, before I bonked all three women on the head with my staff.

"You dare!?" Typhial cried out at the sudden impact on her head, but Oshurkova took it in with stride, full-well knowing that she deserved that. Catalina, on the other hand...

"Can we use that in one of our plays?" I looked at the catwoman with the most deadpanned face I could muster.

"Not. The. Time." My words said, I then looked at Typhial, who was glaring at me as if she was trying to gain laser vision so she could melt my face off. "And yes, I dare. Because if I don't dare, we're gonna lose this match, which would mean our early elimination, and thus, lower the chances of winning some rewards based on our spot placement."

This shut the harpy up, and Shrum, being the gigachad that he was (exempting the time he told me about his sex-life), piped up and looked at the time.

"The young'un's right, you know. There's only a few seconds until the Mons spawn."

"… Shit." And with that, my hardcore MOBA instincts went on and I instantly rushed towards the Jungle, leaving behind the rest of my team, who then followed my example and began to rush towards their designated areas as well.

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"Shit. We're gonna lose at this rate!" I screamed as I blocked the motherfucking artillery fire magic from over their fountain. To get a good grasp on how bullshit it was, we were our fucking base, for fuck's sake! "I call hax! Hax, I tell ya! HAX!!!"

My gaming terminology was once again flying over their heads. I saw Oshurkova fending off a Dungeon Master who was a mix between a human and a horse, and not the centaur kind. No, I'm talking about the lower-body of a human, and the upper body of a horse.

It's kind of like that Philippines myth called Tikbalang. Other than the Tikbalang being a literal horse standing on its own two hind legs instead of having half of his body being a human, these two have a very similar make-up.

"I know! Cat better do this right!" Oshurkova snarled as she quickly focused on wiping out the incredibly huge wave of enemy Mons with her magic, which only left them next to death's door because of their high-level magic resistance.

Deciding to hell with hiding more of my magic abilities, I commanded the ground beneath me to create a huge hole underneath the wave of Mons that were now sporting a look of puppets wearing Spartan armor.

MP: 1930 / 2390 => 780 / 2390

That spell nearly drained me of my mana, but fuck it. If we lost because of me not throwing most of my mana to the spell, then I'll mothuerfucking bang my head on the wall so hard, the wall would crumple to dust.

And I'm talking about a steel wall, not a wood one.

A huge crate appeared beneath the feet of the Mons, causing most, if not all, of them to fall deep into the pit. It also looked like one of the more unfortunate Dungeon Masters who was on the enemy's team, was also caught up in the spell.

As a result, he was crushed by the massive weight of dozens of puppets in Spartan armor falling on top of him.

*Dungeon Master Kilzn knocked out*

*Respawn in 67 seconds*

Resources + 500

"Kova! Now! Do it!" I yelled out, and Oshurkova raised her hands up as a tiny ball of fire between them. It soon grew larger and larger, until it was no longer the size of a baseball, but the size of a giant sphere that was big enough to rival the size of a house.

"Haa!" With a yell of exertion, Oshurkova let the massive ball of flames fly directly into the center of the crater, causing a giant explosion that knocked me back a dozen meters away, my back colliding with the Dungeon Core we were supposed to be defending.

HP: 4,267 / 7,330 => 2,112 / 7,330

Nearby, I saw Oshurkova laying still on the ground, her attire no longer covering her entire body, causing the sun, no matter how artificial it is, to burn her skin.

*Dungeon Master Oshurkova knocked out*

*Respawn in 72 seconds*

"Ugh… Fuck… My head…" I raised my hand to touch my head, and felt the warm trickle of blood slowly cascading down my face. "Shit… At least my perk will regenerate me back to full health in a few minutes…"

[Tank Body], I love you so much.

Standing up groggily, I beheld the mess that was now our base. Looking around, I saw that the Keep that was being focused on by the Mons was untouched by the destructive spell Oshurkova released a moment ago.

"Ow… Need to defend until I hear from Lina…" I grabbed the Monke Staff that was laying on the floor beside me when I impacted against the Dungeon Core. I looked at the incoming wave of Mons stronger than our Mons because earlier, during the early game, me and Typhial both fucked up when we invaded their Jungle together.

Turns out, there were four of them waiting inside the brush, which caused both me and Typhial to be knocked out and gave them the Resource Points to level up their Mons twice.

Now if that was all, that wouldn't be too much of a problem. The problem was that they were always being hyper aggressive in our Jungle that most of the camps were stolen. Hell, even their mid-laner occasionally leaves his lane to take our camps.

In short, they snowballed, and when you couple that with the trump card they were hiding, the fucking Artillery-From-Fountain, then you could tell who would win.

*Dungeon Master Lina knocked out*

*Respawn in 70 seconds*

"… Well shit… We lost…" I muttered to myself grimly. Typhial and Shrum were taken out, and looking up, I saw their respawn times still ticking down from the 50 second mark. On the enemy team, only two were knocked out, and three of them were still alive. One of them is the fucking artillery guy. "Welp… Time to take my last stand."

I see two Dungeon Masters rushing in from the mid lane, along with their upgraded Mons, who now look like puppets wearing full-plate armor, instead of puppets wearing Spartan armor.

Looking up again, I noticed another huge fireball hurling towards me with the speed of a meteor from outer space.

"Oh fuck m-"