Rise of the Eromancer

Chapter 287 Unfortunate Cliche

"...What do you mean not in a good condition?"

Even Malenia, who could not understand a word Rhys was saying, could see and notice the sudden shift in Rhys's expression; any excitement he had upon returning to the Surface was completely replaced by a certain sense of worry… and something else.

[It's best if you just hurry. Is this line secure?]

"No."

[I'll still send you the location — but to think you actually found your way to Nihon… the gods must truly favor your balls, Recruit. I sent you the location, have you seen it?]

"Yes."

[What's your ETA?]

"14 hours moving by car," Rhys checked on the map, and Ayesha and the others were at the edge of the map, most probably still aboard the ship, "I could run there, it would be faster."

[No. Just stay in the van, it would be best for no one to know you're here. That driver, can you make sure he stays silent?]

"He's silent," Rhys glanced at the driver, who nervously looked away as soon as their eyes met, "There is a problem, however. I encountered a guild in the Underworld."

[...Are they silenced?]

"Yes," Rhys breathed out.

[I'll have the guys check to see if there's any news with you on it. I'll call you back every 3 hours, keep your line open.]

"Copy that."

[Recruit… I'm really glad your balls are alright. I'll see you soon.]

And as soon as Ayesha hung up the phone, Rhys closed his eyes and let out a very long and deep breath; charging the phone to make sure it won't die on them.

"Thank you for letting me borrow your phone, Sir. And for driving us as well," Rhys then glanced at the driver again, "I would make sure they compensate you with your time handsomely."

"I… I just want to go home to my family, Mister," the driver could really only glance at Rhys before focusing on the road again.

"You will," Rhys nodded before placing the phone back to its holder right in front of the driver, "But drive us to this location first."

"That's—"

"You'll be compensated handsomely," Rhys sighed, "And don't mind my companions. They're… just wearing cosplay."

"...Cosplay?" The driver's eyes widened as he once again glanced at Malenia and the other gorgons.

"Very expensive cosplay," Rhys followed up.

"R… right."

"What's your name, Sir?"

"Sakurai, Sakurai Ippo," the driver breathed out.

"My name is Rhys, Mr. Sakurai. Rhys Wilder."

"You… look a bit familiar. Lowborn with—"

"My hair is also cosplay, and we Amerkans all look alike."

"I… I see."

At the very least, after Rhys said that, Ippo seemed to have calmed down even if just by a little. Of course, Rhys was still trying his best to get friendly with the driver, it would be a very long drive ahead of them, after all.

There was just one thing Rhys was worried about throughout their entire journey, and after several hours into it — it was happening.

The driver had to get gas and relieve himself. Rhys was not really used to doing things incognito — and perhaps if he was, he could have avoided a lot of troublesome things. But of course, those troublesome things rewarded him with some great things. This time, however, Rhys was not really seeing any advantage in not hiding himself…

…and so, he wore a cap that he borrowed from Ippo to slightly hide his face and hair.

They did not really have trouble getting gas even though there was a gasboy assisting them; Rhys got certain looks here and there, but aside from that, Ippo just paid as casually as he could without setting off alarms — he seemed tempted, however, as Rhys could notice him slightly gesturing with his head.

Fortunately, the gasboy did not really get what he was trying to insinuate.

"Mr. Ippo, please don't do that again," Rhys warned Ippo as soon as they parked near the lavatory, "Because the next time you do…

…I won't be as courteous anymore."

"I… I wasn't doing anything, I swear!" Ippo stuttered with his words while raising both his palms in the air, "I'm not—"

"Get out."

"N…no, please! Please! I have a family, look! Look!" Ippo then pointed at the photo that was hanging on the windshield. He truly did not want to anger Rhys — after all, Rhys did not actually hitch a hike—no.

Ippo was actually just resting for a bit on the mountainside, and when he decided to leave, he found the back of his van being lifted up by someone… and that someone happened to be Rhys who politely forced him to give him and his weird friends a ride,

"Please, don't kill me!"

"What are you talking about?" Rhys only shook his head before getting out of the van, "You need to pee, right? I'm coming with you. And please, don't let me warn you again — don't do anything."

Ippo just sat on the driver's seat for a few seconds; sweat running across his cheeks as he thought of just driving away there and then as soon as Rhys got off the van. But then, when he noticed the gorgons looking at him from behind, all those thoughts just faded away. Although Rhys had already told him they were just wearing costumes, he was still completely freaked out for some reason.

"Those… those are some really intricate costumes," Ippo tried talking to them, but all he received were their slightly glowing eyes which made him instantly get out of the van and awkwardly follow Rhys to the lavatory.

As for Rhys, he was extremely careful not to make eye contact with anyone. Unfortunately, the toilet just had to be in the store where there were at least a dozen people for some reason — and as soon as he and Ippo entered the store, all eyes were immediately on them.

Once again, Rhys forgot one crucial fact. He may have covered half his face with the cap, but his 6'8" frame could never be hidden — he forgot he was taller than the majority of people living on the surface of the planet, not to mention Nihon.

"Hm…" Rhys just made sure to lower his cap even more before gesturing to Ippo to just walk ahead. Ippo did not really try anything this time as the two of them were able to peacefully go inside the lavatory — but as soon as they got out, however, they found themselves surrounded by 3 women.

"Excuse me, are you with the foreigner?" The three women were wearing heavy makeup that was a little shades darker than their own complexion; all of them, sporting skirts that almost exposed their buttocks. They tried leaning their heads closer to Rhys to look at his face, but Rhys immediately looked away while hiding his face.

"That—he… he is," Ippo stuttered as he answered the women's questions, "He's… a tourist. Please, don't bother him."

"Bother him? We just want to talk to him!"

"Go over there, old man!"

"Hm…"

"We… we really need to go!" As soon as Ippo heard Rhys breathing loudly, he quickly tried to pass through the group of girls, accidentally pushing one of them and causing her to drop to the floor butt first, "R…red!"

Ippo, accidentally and unfortunately, blurted out the color of the lady's underwear.

"You… you idiot pervert!" The woman quickly covered herself as she pointed at Ippo. And soon, her friends also started shouting and calling Ippo names. And not even a few seconds later, several more people who were wearing some long coats started approaching them.

"S…Senpai! That old man pushed me and looked at my panties!" The woman who fell quickly got up and jumped into the arms of one of the men, who quickly glared at Ippo. He was about to approach but then noticed Rhys standing behind Ippo.

"What the—what's a foreigner doing all the way up here?" The man and his friends started looking at each other; grins, crawling on their faces, "Oi, don't you know there's a fee for tourists down here? Pay up, old man."

Rhys started looking at the other people inside the store — and if they weren't outright just quickly leaving the store, they were avoiding looking at them. Even the one who was standing behind the counter was completely ignoring them.

And when Rhys caught a glimpse of the motorcycles parked outside the store, he finally realized what they were —- they were some sort of biker gang.

"A… a fee?" Ippo looked at each of the men snickering at him, "But I don't—"

"Just pay them," Rhys whispered to Ippo, "I'll pay you back handsomely."

"What the—the foreigner can talk!?" The gangsters and the women all gasped as they heard a whisper escape from Rhys's lips, "Wait, oi! You're a tourist, right? Does that mean you have a lot of money? If so…

…then pay up."

And as he saw the gangsters surrounding him, the only thing that Rhys could do was let out a sigh.

Of course, something like this just has to happen to him.