Sold?

Chapter 107: How can I give you something that I can't even give to myself

•Arius

I sat in my room unable to sleep. What I did to Azalea seems more like a punishment to myself than her. I left her there but I, myself am in a state of unrest.

I took several deep breaths to calm myself down.

Other than that, there is this feeling that keeps pinching me.

I felt anxious.

Sleep wasn't coming to me and I had Macy to deal with when I get back home.

Really, I regret sleeping with her. Frankly I actually didn't sleep with her, she forced slept with me after drugging me. I can't believe I actually got drugged like that. Well you can't be immune to everything now, especially when someone uses an unknown drug on you.

Well, I hope the lab reports here come out negative.

Around 4 am I went to Azalea's room to untie her from the bed railing. I smirked seeing her fast asleep like that. I untied her and as she slipped to lie down on the bed in her sleep I sat beside her, softly removing her hair from her face.

I'm honestly lost.

I sighed.

The image of Azalea tied to the bed and getting messed up after making out with me suddenly erupted and wouldn't leave my mind.

I gulped.

I don't even know how I managed to control myself and leave. I didn't want to stop. Not one bit.

I stood up, time to leave.

The night passed with me thinking about many things and as morning came I decided to just hop in the shower to make myself not look dead. After dressing up I decided to head out. As I opened the door I saw Azalea there, standing right outside the door. As soon as she saw me she raised her hand to slap me.

I didn't stop her and her hand made my cheek heat up.

Why I didn't stop her?

I was hoping it would knock some sense into me but it really didn't help. It just pissed me off.

"You know what? I'm going to give you a day free." I grabbed her wrist and pulled her along with me.

"What?"

I wasn't sure where I was taking her but I didn't want her with that bastard from yesterday, so I took her outside, to a small playground.josei

I wasn't expecting to see a familiar face there but as soon as I saw Rosalie, Lexus's girl. It pissed me off more.

I stopped suddenly, "Look who's here." Azalea looked at me while I was looking at her, then followed my gaze and her eyes landed on a red-headed girl on a swing.

When she recognized her I pulled her along again and we walked to her.

"Is that a slave collar I see?" I said.

I let go of Azalea as Rosalie looked back immediately and got off the swing.

I stared at her.

A tiny little being that could have crushed at many places.

Rosalie was turning to leave I whispered, "I want to kill her."

Why?

Because it's infuriating me. It's making me curse myself that I can't even love the girl I want to love freely and yet here this redhead and my almost brother Lex have nothing to worry about. I can picture them together. All happy and grinning but when it comes to myself…

I glanced at Azalea.

She ran from my side and grabbed Rosalie's wrist then glared at me.

When it comes to myself I don't see a future. I only see how she would be taken away from me like the rest of my family.

I walked up to them

. I want her but I am not allowed the happiness.

"You see," I stated and put my hands on her shoulders, "I promised my little kitten I'd give her a day off but she didn't have a friend." I smiled, "How about you become her friend?"

"Why me?" She asked.

"Why not? You're alone, she's alone and-" I traced her collar with my fingers, "You're in the same situation." I didn't wait for her and turned to leave, "Oh I would love to see who else was brave enough to showcase his or her slave like this."

Petty of me. Very petty of me to make comments like these.

Honestly I don't know what's gotten into me either.

I can't keep my emotions in check...

***

The party was a typical classy party for the rich. Everything is flashy and shining. The guests are smiling and chattering with champagne glasses in their hands. There's tons of food on the tables but it's mostly untouched.

I'm really not a fan of coming to these parties but since I've been skipping so many I had to attend this one, being a part of board of directors that is, I have to show my face around sometimes so that people don't think I'm dead.

As I finished greeting some people I spotted Veronica. She was talking to his son Lexus and a college friend of his, Diana.

I sighed to myself.

Lex seemed to have gotten better, he's talking to Veronica more comfortably now.

This is what Veronica wanted, she wanted to get closer to him. I should be happy for her and for Lex but I wasn't.

I was already disturbed enough. I didn't want the little things I had to be taken away from me too.

In this moment where I should be giving them space, to allow them to talk more I decided to invade instead.

I walked up to them and Veronica noticed me immediately

"Arius." She greeted me.

"Veronica." I greeted her back as I stood by them, "Lexus." I smiled.

"It's been a while" He said.

"Well of course, You don't like seeing my face after all."

"That-" I cut him off.

"Actually, You don't like seeing the face of anyone involved in that incident. Probably why you don't like seeing your mother either." I flashed him a big smile.

Veronica on the other hand turned on her heels and left. Diana too let go of Lex's arms and decided it was better to leave us. That's one thing really good about her. She always knows what to do.

"You just can't keep your mouth shut. Can you?" Lex gritted his teeth. My purpose was to annoy him and I had succeeded. But, did it make me feel better? Maybe a little bit but it didn't comfort me nor made me feel happier.

"Sorry. I have this habit of speaking what's on my mind." Sometimes I can't believe how good of a liar I am.

"We had an agreement to never talk about the incident Arius Alucard." Lex has always hated that part of his life where it all decided to go wrong for him. Anyone would. That's the reason I brought it up.

"Ah. Must have slipped my mind."

"Stop smiling."

"Why? You wanna punch me?"

"I'm very much tempted to."

"Why don't you?"

He turned to leave.

"You don't ever let out your steam, your own cold calmness messes your head up." I told him. This time I was only half joking. We have this really weird relationship, like siblings and strangers combined.

As he left, I decided that maybe it was time I left too, so I turned to leave when Veronica called me over. She stood by a dessert table at the rear of the hall.

Of course, I couldn't decline her, so I walked over to her. "Yes?" I asked as I picked a jamun from the jamun plate on the table and took a bite from it.

"Thank you Arius." I saw the sparkle in her eyes, "Lex hasn't talked to me like that in ages. I don't know what you did but thank you so much." She seemed very happy. Well, of course, he's her real son. I won't ever compare to him.

"No problem." I finished my sweet, "I just did what I thought could help." I guess it's time for me to start preparing for the fact that I won't be able to call you and have stroke my hair when I'm really stressed. "I should leave." I excused myself and started walking out.

"Arius." She called me again and I looked back at her, " Is something bothering you? You look disturbed?" She held my right hand in both of hers.

I smirked. I guess she can tell that now since I always went to her when I was disturbed about something.

"I-" I was about to speak up but then stopped. It's time to break the habit, "I just didn't sleep properly last night." Of course I can never tell you I actually don't want to lose you. You were just like a mother to me but now you're going to get your real son back, "I'm really tired." I would have loved it if you would run your fingers through my hair one last time. But if I ask for it now, I'll want it again too. " I'm just going to sleep."

She wasn't really convinced by my words, "Veronica." I started again, "Take care of your health." I smiled, a genuine smile, "Good night." I slipped my hand out of hers and left.

If anything, I could just say that I'm really pathetic. Maybe miserable too.

I smiled and greeted another board member I saw while I walked past him in the corridor.

I don't know how dad lived this kind of life satisfied. Not just him, all my ancestors. Just how did they find their happiness? How did they find the courage to give this kind of life to their next generations?

Perhaps they were filled with guilt too.

Perhaps they thought things would be different.

Perhaps they all believed in hope.

I sighed. Maybe I should grab a drink.

I made my way to the bar and saw Azalea and Rosalie there, one was perfectly fine while the other was quite drunk.

Azalea tried helping Rosalie up but she refused to do so, "It's so late but my owner's a jerk." I snickered at her words as I made my way to them.

"Don't worry, so is mine." Azalea answered her.

"Am I now?" Hearing my voice from behind made her jolt. She looked back at me in guilt, "You can get back can't you?" I asked Rosalie.

She nodded and started wobbling out of the bar.

"Arius?" She whispered, I could tell she wasn't expecting me here.

"I'm a jerk huh?" I moved closer, "Is that why you slapped me this morning?'

She looked away as she began to think about something, "No," She said clearly, "I'm sorry." She apologized about something. Was it the slap she gifted me with in the morning? Whatever it was I didn't think she'd apologize, she seemed pretty angry in the morning.

She looked into my eyes, "I acted wrong." As I stared back into hers, I saw her honestly, "I just wanted you for myself."

Wait!

What did she just say? I wasn't expecting that.

She wanted me for herself?. I was surprised by her words, "What?" I said in a softer tone. It didn't really come out as a question, more like it just slipped out as I processed her words.

"I just wanted to have you for myself." She gulped, "I don't know when I decided to become selfish, I was so excited for this trip because it was going to be just the two of us but it got ruined the moment Macy came and declared you were the father of her child."

She sniffled, trying to hold herself back. I could see that she was hurt.

"Azalea. Are you-" I paused for a moment, "Do you like me?" I wanted to confirm it even though she had already given me an answer.

Her confession made me really happy. I was in glee because these feelings weren't just from my side.

"I-" She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. It was not my place." She assumed that on her own, made an apology and turned to leave.

As she began to walk away my hands moved on their own to stop her. Yet as they millimeters away from her, I stopped.

My own happiness started to fade away as I realized where I myself stood.

What possibly could I give her? I don't even plan to have a family. I'm surrounded by enemies. Where will I bring the happiness from?

How can I give her something, I couldn't even give to myself?

Eventually my hands receded back to my side and I silently watched her walk away.