Soul for a Girlfriend?

Chapter 138 - Why?

We finally reached our school, and it definitely looked a lot different from the usual days. A crowd of people could be seen waiting near the gate, and the noise of chatter and microphones being tested from inside the campus could be heard easily.

The front gates were presented with banners that had the words "Sports Festival" printed on it in bright red colours. I walked inside with Ts?men and both of us were a bit taken aback by the crowd.

As we're walking towards the main building, I could see the flags waving at different spots in the front year, as well as the crowd of students near the clubs. Banners were hanging above our heads. 

Looking at all these, Ts?men commented, "Doesn't it look more crowded than last year?"

"I thought so too." I nodded as it was indeed crowded, as it seems like the number of participants was high too this year.

As we entered the building, I told him to hold my bag as I put my jacket on. He gave me a weird look and handed me my bag as we walked towards our class.

"Seems like all the parents wanna see their kids perform well in the event." He chuckled.

"Ah… by parents… is your dad coming?" At the mention of parents, I remembered that his dad came last year to see him, albeit he was late, but at least he came.

"Oh, no… I think he probably forgot…" Ts?men chuckled with a nervous expression as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Ahh… no, I remember him coming late last year…" I chucked too, as he mumbled, "That old man…"

Recalling a small conversation with his dad about Tsumen himself, I said, "Your dad is pretty chill… not gonna lie."

Looking at me with wide eyes of shock, he showed me his palm and shook his head in denial, "Oh… he appears chill. Actually, he is really strict."

Well, every parent is strict as they want their kids to improve in life. Ts?men's dad may be strict as he says, but talking with him last year I understood one thing: that he deeply cares for his son.

"Well… at least he was there for you… I guess?" I said hesitantly, because in matters of parents or family, I never knew what I should say or not. 

My own views about parents were not an ideal one, so I always held myself back from speaking something that may hurt the person in front of me. As for kids, parents hold the highest spot. And since I don't have that feeling or sense of affection, I didn't know how to describe those things.

The only emotion I understood from my parents was the feeling of ignorance. The feeling of being left behind. Maybe both of them were so busy with themselves that they didn't have time for their son.

All their love was used up by my sister, and I was left with nothing. But the interesting thing is that I never understood some of the things they did. If they didn't care about me, then why did they try to manipulate me?

Looking back now, I understand that they were nothing but controlling self centred humans who wanted everything to go their way. They tried to manipulate me as well as my sister but in the end it didn't work.

As for my sister, being their first child, she got all their affection and care. She was really born as a princess if I were to be honest. And for that, I held no grudges against her.

My parents were both earning, so there weren't any financial problems with us. But still when I asked for something, they would never buy me that, but if my sister asks for something and even if it's hella expensive, they would get her that.

I know that money wasn't the parameter to measure the extent of affection, but time and care is. I was empty-handed from that perspective too. They would spend time with her, go out with her, talk with her, console her, comfort her, but never with me.

Why?

I asked myself this question so many times that it felt useless at some point. Since there was no particular answer to it and neither was I interested in knowing that.

I never understood the reason for the difference in our treatment. Sometimes I felt like I was adopted, but that's what every kid thinks when their parents are being mean to them.

I was glad that I moved out. But still, I remember that my sister had to literally beg them to let me leave and live on my own. She was well aware of my mental condition, so she also knew that living in that toxic household wasn't good for me.

Though the only thing that my mother ever gave me was a lifelong scar that I had to carry for the rest of my life. That one thing that I can never get rid of. 

Looking at my grim expression, Ts?men cursed as he never enjoyed talking about these things in front of me. "Ah shit man…"

I remember last year when I told him about these things, he was really indifferent to my words. I knew that deep inside, those words hit him like a truck. He may not show it from the outside, but he is a really considerate guy when it comes to acknowledgement of personal things of others as well as himself.

Cursing myself for ruining the mood early in the morning, I changed the topic, "You know… someone from my family is coming too."

Hearing my words, he looked at me in surprise, "Holy… who?"

"My sister." I replied, but at that moment, for some  I felt a warm feeling inside me. Those words felt really good as they left my mouth.

"Oh… yeah, I haven't seen her in a year or so." Ts?men smiled at me as his jade eyes pierced into me.

"Yeah, she came last year around this time too." I said, as I remember watching the entire event with her last year. 

"Is she good?" He asked as we reached our classroom, and I nodded.

Entering the classroom, the noise of chatter being louder than usual hit my ear. Everyone seemed way too excited about this day. Both of us went to our desks and put our bags down.

I checked the time, and it was 8.30 am. There were still one and a half hours remaining until the events started. Maybe I'll take a nap for some time or maybe I can go and visit Naoto senpai.