Soul for a Girlfriend?

Chapter 169 - Justice To My Feelings

Naoto's POV

I was walking towards the hallway next to the library because it's quite peaceful even during lunch time. As I was walking with him following me, I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Yuna convinced me to ask him out.

And it's awkward, especially because I was the one who rejected him in the first place. I don't know what he'll think if I ask him out, but lately I've been feeling quite attached to him too.

I can't believe that I baked a cake to thank him but didn't have the courage to say it upfront. Of course, I wouldn't give some cake just because I was baking some. But I don't think he is smart enough to get that.

We finally arrived at the spot, as I glanced outside the window next to me, and he asked me, "Yeah… by the way… what do you want…"

I knew he was curious too, since this was the first time I actually called him out to talk with me without being hostile. Shifting my gazes towards him, I asked, "So… You know why I called you here?" 

He stared at me for a few seconds before his mouth opened. "Of course not. Unless you're trying to beat me for trying to elbow you a few moments ago."

I looked at him in utter annoyance, as he smiled awkwardly. "Are you retarded?" 

His eyes narrowed, and the smile faded from his face as he looked at his mouth wide open for a few moments before answering, "Maybe… I'm not sure."

"Shut up for a moment!" Rolling my eyes, I sighed as I could tell that he was clearly enjoying teasing me. I can't believe that an underclassman is teasing me and I'm tolerating him.

Another moment of silence fell between us as I was mentally preparing myself to ask him out. Since I would fail miserably if I went on a direct method, I started by recalling past events, "You remember how you asked me out and I rejected you?"

As I said that, Sakamaki looked at me with an astonished expression, as if he could find the right combination of words. Taking a deep sigh, he said, "Why… are you rubbing salt on the wound?" 

"I… didn't mean it that way… I've decided my answer." Realising that what I said might've been quite sarcastic, I apologised immediately. What a way to fuck up Naoto! There goes your miserable attempt to ask a guy out who also happens to be younger than you!!

"What? You'll give me a written rejection letter now?" He looked at me with his cold eyes, as he said that in a bitter tone, but looking at the situation going out of hand, I immediately took the leash of the conversation, "No! You Idiot!"

His eyebrows tensed up as he stared at me with narrowed eyes. I was feeling way too awkward to look at him. Averting my eyes away from him, I glanced outside the window and said, "I have decided to give it a try…"

"What?" His eyes fluttered in confusion, as he looked intently at the light coming from the window illuminated his dark eyelids. I couldn't think of the perfect words to ask him out, as his stare became more intense with each passing second. 

There was a strange tension between us now, and it seemed like he was completely oblivious to what was going on. He appeared to be quite a smart person, but I guess he isn't that much intelligent from this perspective. 

Taking a deep breath, I looked at him as he was looking at me with a curious expression, which made me feel weird. Keeping them aside, I said, "Just tell your friends that you got a girlfriend now."

With that, I turned around and walked back, as I probably left him in confusion. Looking over my shoulder, I noticed him staring at me with a dumbfounded look as I added, "If you have friends, that is!"

With that, I quickly walked out of the hallway, out of his field of vision. Keeping my hand over my chest, I could clearly feel it beating faster than usual. Keeping a straight face during these situations is actually nerve wrecking.

I don't even know if he understood what I said. I know Yuna will be mad at me if she gets a whiff of how I asked him out. But now that I kind of asked him out, there was a strange feeling of unease.

I could get over the feeling that I wasn't actually ready for this relationship, but somehow the time spent with him, or several hours I talk with him, gives a weird sense of delight. It's like somewhere in my mind I wanted him, but at the same time I wanted to push him away, too.

I don't know if asking someone out with such half hearted feelings is a good thing or not, but I know one thing that my feelings for him, whatever they are, might change once I actually start dating him.

Why am I even thinking about it!?

He still hasn't said yes to my proposal. Well, looking at his dimwit, I seriously doubt if he actually understood that I was asking him out. Why am I getting so restless thinking about this!? Of course, all of this depends on his answer.

I hope he rejects this.

Why did I think that?

What was wrong with me?

I don't know how others will react when they hear about me asking him out. Why did I even ask him out in the first place? It has barely been over a month since I met him.

But the impact he had on my life in this one month was quite a lot. I can't ignore the fact that he actually made me consider my ways of dealing with things and scolded me as if I wasn't a senior at all. 

From day one, I have always liked that fact about him. He always treated me like I was a normal person. All my life, I met a large number of people and everyone always held my respect for me and treated me with much unwanted attention that I despised.

But being a woman, I was told to endure that and act accordingly, like a proper lady. Even in school, none of the boys have ever asked me out front except for Vivian and Sakamaki.

Now that I think about all these, I think I've the answer to why it prompted me to ask him out.