Soul for a Girlfriend?

Chapter 69 - I Don't Deserve Her

Yasurouka' POV

Kizhashi was late today. It's rare that she comes to school after me. Also, it's been two days since I've been trying to avoid Sakamaki, but one way or another, we make eye contact ten times a day.

After everything he said that day and the way I reacted to it, I've been feeling really awkward to face him again. 

Everything he said, to some extent, was true. Maybe that's why I got irritated. I didn't like the fact that someone like him knows the better of me than myself.

He agitated all those memories that I have been trying to suppress for so long. What if I saw myself as inferior to my best friend? There's nothing wrong with it. I'm harming no one.

"Good Morning!" I broke out of my thoughts as the energetic voice Koi greeted me. She had a silly smile on her face. She put her bag on the table and sat down.

"Oh, it's rare to see you being late." I said.

"You won't believe it, but I like… put on two different pairs of socks and when I was already midway across to school, I realised that and ran back home." She explained her reason for being late and I understood why she had that silly smile on her face. 

"Well… I don't know what to say." I sighed.

"Ehe" She playfully hit herself in the head with her right hand.

"Don't Ehe me!" Why am I surrounded by idiots? Koi is an idiot too. Sakamaki is a bigger idiot though. 

I turned my head slightly towards him to take a quick side glance at him but Koi caught my gaze and instantly threw a question at me. 

"Hey, is everything good between you two?"

"H… huh?" I decided to play dumb, because I really wasn't in the mood to explain her about what happened that day.

"Between you and Sakamaki-kun?" She narrowed her eyes on me.

"Um… to be honest with you, it's not." Hesitating a bit, I decided to vaguely tell her about my situation. Though I don't expect any help from her considering the whole ordeal involving Uyeno.

" Yeah, I guessed so because you have been trying to ignore him for the past few days. Aren't you?" She said while nodding her head lightly.

"Y...yeah." I answered. I don't know why talking about him makes me feel so restless.

Why? What happened?" She asked with concern in her voice.

"Nothing in particular…" I started explaining to her.

"Mhm?" She nodded as a gesture for me to continue. Looking at her face, I kept talking.

"He said some things which he shouldn't have."

"Huh!? Did he hurt you?" Her eyebrows tensed up, as she asked that in a serious tone.

"No… like…" Damn, I think she got a misunderstanding.

"Are you okay? Did he make you cry?" She asked again. If I don't tell her properly, she will probably kill him for making me sad.

"Chill… chill, nothing of that sort." I told her to calm down. I can't believe her sudden change in composure.

"Huh?" She tilted her head in confusion and stared at me.

"I mean it's not his fault, he was just trying to help me." Looking around a bit, avoiding making eye contact with her. I continued.

"Eh? So he was trying to help you but made you mad instead?" She kept staring at me, as I assumed she was processing what I just said.

"In short, yes." I nodded. I like how well she understands me.

"What a dumbo." She slapped the table with her right hand and started laughing.

"I was the one who overreacted and told him to stop talking to me." I said as to clear up things with her.

"Ah seriously? What was his reaction?" She was getting more and more curious about this.

"He actually didn't say anything." I sighed. 

"Eh… boring…" She rolled her eyes and tilted her head, as kids do when they find something uninteresting. 

"Except…" As I said that, her gazes shifted towards me again with much curiosity.

"Yeah?" She asked in an excited tone. I know that she is thinking, but I won't let her ship me and him.

"I'll stray away from you but will never leave your side." I said imitating his voice and plain tone.

"He… he said that?!" She looked at me in disbelief and then quickly glanced at Sakamaki and then back at me.

"Y… Yeah. Why are you so shocked?" I was a bit confused by her reaction because even though Sakamaki looks like a stone indifferent person, I've felt his kindness at some point.

"Nothing… he just doesn't seem like that kind of a guy." She clicked her tongue and shook her head jokingly.

"I know, he can be nice too… sometimes." I said.

"So you indeed liked what he said to you?" She looked at me with narrow eyes as a smile formed on her face. I knew this was coming.

"No." I instantly denied her before she could say anything.

"Ooof, Reina, you're so cute." She patted my head and chuckled.

"Shut up!" I rolled my eyes and let out a breath of air. This conversation is making me feel nervous.

"Anyways… I think you should talk things out with him." She said in all seriousness.

"I know… but like… I don't know how to face him." I was embarrassed saying this out loud.

"You're as silly as ever Reina." She chuckled and shook her head left to right.

"Says the girl who put on two different pairs of socks this morning." I instantly retorted.

"Let's not bring that up." She stared at me for a few moments and then said that.

"Uh huh." I nodded.

"I think he genuinely cares for you. And you behaving like this may actually make him feel bad for what he did." She said, but it was a surprise because she was saying good things about Sakamaki. They both hate each other with a passion.

"I had the same thought too." I said monotonously.

"I won't say much, but you can do as you please because it's your own decision."

My mind was again in conflict. I kind of feel guilty for thinking of myself as inferior to Koi who always treated me like her own sister. I wonder how she'll feel if she ever came to know what I think of her.

Even with her own problems right now, she still managed to slip some advice for me. She was even ready to fight with him because she thought that he hurted me. 

I don't deserve a friend like her.