Soul for a Girlfriend?

Chapter 84 - Hands Stained With Red Lillies Part - 3

"Look at me when I'm talking." My tone was harsher than usual.

"Did Kizhashi-san ever blamed you?"

"She…" He tried to say something but I knew it wasn't relevant to what I asked him.

"Did she blame you?" I again asked in a bit harsher tone as I put the can of choco milk on the side and stood up. He didn't bother responding to my question again.

I walked in front of him, grabbing a hold of his collar, I lifted him and slammed his back against the bench. 

"Did she?" I asked, staring into his dark eyelids, which were looking right at me.

"N..No." He answered in a rather low tone.

"Then why do you blame yourself?" I asked.

"Because the last time she told me what Uyeno did to her, I couldn't help but blame myself." I knew exactly what he was talking about, but he didn't know of the fact that I was well aware of what happened with her.

"How can I be so naïve!?" He was frustrated, and from what he said about his friend, I know it's a bit difficult for him to come to terms with these.

"Listen, I don't know what happened between Uyeno-san and Kizhashi-san, but I won't blame you."

Even though from my perspective, this wasn't something to beat yourself up about, but at the same time, the person in front of me was Gaisen. I can't expect him to be like me in these situations.

His only fault was trying to protect someone when he in the first place wasn't in the right state of mind. If he can't forgive himself for what he did, he will never be able to protect Kizhashi.

"It's easy for you to say… imagine yourself in my shoes." His eyes shifted from mine and he sighed.

"A girl asks you for help. You fail to protect her and she comes crying to you. Wouldn't you feel like trash?" He continued and with every word, his voice was sinking in.

"See, all those times that you actually helped her. As I told you, you can't expect yourself to protect someone all the time." I was getting a bit irritated now because he was being really stubborn to downcast himself.

"I tried not to think about it, but looking at Koi's face. I don't want her to end up like Ry?." 

"Why do you think she will end up as him? You're trying your best here. She is so loved by others and most of the girls in our class respect her a lot." I just stated the truth of the situation. He can't ignore that fact just because he feels guilty about Kizhashi getting assaulted.

"I know, and I'm really glad that things are like that now." He said in a rather relieved tone, but there was a hint of anxiety in it.

"Then why did you think of that?" I pressed into him.

"I don't know, it's just that when I asked Koi about Uyeno-san, she seemed to lie about them." After a few moments, he answered.

"Huh?"

"Last week, she cried a lot to me. I asked her why but she didn't give me any proper answer to that."

"That's weird… she is hiding something." I said, because it seemed like Kizhashi didn't go into details of that incident when she told him about it. 

To be honest, I don't expect her to. Looking back at her, she was just so helpless and broken. I don't think that anyone would prefer telling someone about them being in such a detestable state.

"Yes, that's making me worried about her." Though he didn't really love her as a partner, he sure cared a lot for her.

"Why would she hide anything from me?" He was grabbing his hair with his right arm in frustration.

"And you think that Uyeno-san might have something to do with this?" I asked the obvious.

"Yeah, I'm more sure, but most probably." He affirmed to me.

"I don't know what to do… I'm just so tired of this." His voice was miserable. 

"I sometimes feel like giving up, but I can't. This weird feeling inside me,I don't know how to explain." I couldn't empathise with him at that moment because I was never good at it. But looking at the troubled expression on his face, I could tell that he was losing himself while trying to save her.

"Listen…" I said, taking a slight pause I let go of his collar and continued, "I can help you with this."

"What do you mean?" He looked at me in surprise while straightening his collars.

"You just want to assure Kizhashi-san's safety, right?" I asked him.

"Yea… I don't want her to get in trouble with Uyeno-san and her group." He said with genuine concern in his voice.

"Yeah… I can help you with that." Remembering about the incident last week and having a good record of what happened, a slight smile formed on my face.

"How?" He was very curious now.

"I'll figure out something." I answered him vaguely because I somewhat knew what I was going to do to help him. 

"Huh?" He was dumbfounded by the sudden offer to help him.

"I… what? That's so uncertain." He looked at me suspiciously.

"Don't worry about it. You'll see it with your own eyes." I had something in my mind, but I'll do it after I'm over with Reina.

"You're not making any sense whatsoever." He tilted his head in confusion. I think I might've been a bit more assertive than what I intended to be. 

"Anyways… I can help you with this and in return you can free yourself from this messy situation." I took the final sip from the can of choco milk.

"I'm not really sure about this… but we'll see." He looked at me with narrowed eyes and a hint of confusion on his face.

"Are you feeling a bit better now?" I asked him, noticing his relaxed composure now. He was finally opening the can that he had been holding through the whole conversation.

"Quite a lot actually. Thanks for listening to my bullshit." He said while chuckling softly.

"It's alright. Let's head back now. It's getting late." We both stood up from the bench and walked back as I put my arm around his neck.