Soul Guardian

Chapter 65: A Rocky Road

The Om-Nom-Nomicon was overjoyed to have been chosen by such a powerful young witch. It had found its way to the truck stop as most things did, by falling through a weak spot in reality. Normally, it would have had a hard time entering the mortal world. But something had been weakening the barriers between reality and the void faster than they could be patched up.

Lou would eventually realize that his favorite cookbook was missing. If the cosmic repair creature hadn’t been so overworked he would already have come looking for it. The Om-Nom-Nomicon knew this, and decided not to waste any time. It had a new master to corrupt.

The grimoire wasn’t technically evil (in the way that saturated fats and high-fructose corn syrup were technically food). It merely had certain desires and the will to see them through. The problem was, Six had been ignoring its call. No matter how hard the blue and white book tried to get her to read it, the young witch resisted.

Six sat in her seat, safely buckled up, eating long red pieces of licorice straight from the bag without a care in the world. She was oblivious to the powerful object trying to get her attention, and the grimoire resented that. It could accept being hated and feared, but being ignored was something else completely.

The Om-Nom-Nomicon knew it couldn’t force a reaction in its diminished state. The journey between dimensions had weakened it considerably. But it wasn’t above using more subtle methods.

Titan wrinkled his nose as a new aroma started to spread through the vehicle. “WHY DO I SMELL BURNING SUGAR?”

Tires screeched as Murphy pulled over to the side of the road and shut down. Bael tried to restart it, but was ignored.

Six patted the dash like she was trying to soothe a panicked animal. “Murphy, are you alright?”

The demonic SUV didn’t answer. All three passengers shared a silent look of confusion as they wondered what the hell was going on.

Bael got out of the stricken vehicle and popped the hood. He wasn’t the best at working on engines, but even he knew that they weren’t supposed to be covered in sticky brown sludge. The demon dipped his claw into the substance and gave it a sniff.

“Is that caramel?” he asked the empty air before taking a nibble. Somehow the substance had gunked up the outside of Murphy’s engine, stopping it from functioning. He had heard of putting sugar in someone’s gas tank for a prank, but this was a bit much

As far as Bael could tell, there was nothing else wrong with Murphy. He walked back to his daughter and her faithful hellhound with a look of confusion on his face.

“Need a wrench?” Six asked Bael as he poked his head in the window.

“No,” the Baron said, “But I might need a spoon.”

***

They were parked on the side of a mountain, far away from any tow trucks or rest stops. Six had never heard of spontaneous vehicle caramelization, but she had to admit it smelled delicious. She stood around watching as Bael and Titan went to work on the sweet substance preventing Murphy from moving.

“THIS IS VERY STRANGE. BUT I’M NOT MAD AT IT,” Titan said as he worked to lick the caramel from Murphy’s front axles, “I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED.”

Bael looked up from his meal. “I’ve heard of marshmallow rabbits and chocolate moose, maybe we hit some kind of caramel cow?”

Titan frowned. “I DON’T THINK THOSE ARE REAL ANIMALS.”

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“Oh well,” Bael said as he went back to devouring the sweet substance stopping Murphy from functioning, “I really wish we had some ice cream to go with this.”

As soon as the Baron spoke, he realized that something was wrong. There was a pulse of magic from somewhere close by, followed by a low rumble.

“Oh, hell,” Bael said as he looked up to see an avalanche headed their way, “That's not good.”

A wave of white was tumbling down the mountain, ripping out trees as it went. Titan didn't waste any time talking. He bolted towards Six, tackling her to the ground. She felt the universe lurch beneath her, then everything went dark.

***

Titan ran along the barrier between dimensions like a rock skipping across a pond. Six was unconscious. The magic Titan usually used to transport unruly prisoners and escaped demons was holding her in a form of stasis.

He didn't know if the avalanche was natural, or if someone was trying to hurt them. Either way, his initial response would be the same. The hellhound needed to get Six somewhere safe, then assess the situation from there.

They arrived on a mountain top across the valley from where they had started. Six felt reality snap back around her and stumbled to her feet. Titan watched as a wall of white cascaded down the mountain.

“HOW ODD,” he said, “AN ARTIFICIAL AVALANCHE.”

“What?” Six’s head was still spinning as she tried to focus on the mountain in the distance. Then she saw it. “There's no snow on top of the mountain.”

“EXACTLY.” The hellhound pointed at another mountain in the distance with his nose. “THE SNOW LINE IS AT A MUCH HIGHER ALTITUDE. THEREFORE, THE AVALANCHE IS ARTIFICIAL. I WILL GO INVESTIGATE.”

Titan rippled and divided into two smaller dogs, one of which ran behind a tree and vanished. Six looked down at the hellhound. “That's a neat trick.”

“IT IS, ISN'T IT?”

A few minutes later the duplicate returned. They merged back together and Titan was left shaking his head.

“What is it?” Six asked, “What did you find?”

***

Bael managed to throw a metal shield up at the last second, but it hadn’t been big enough to protect Murphy. As several tons of force descended on him, the demon used two of his powers in unison. Bael reinforced the golden metal bubble he had summoned while drawing in all available heat from his surroundings. As the avalanche touched his metal shield, parts of it froze solid and created a bunker.

He summoned a mote of light to illuminate the inside of his metal bubble. “That was close,” Bael said to nobody in particular. It would take a lot more than an avalanche to kill him, but it wouldn’t have been a pleasant experience. Tumbling down the mountainside, crashing into trees and getting crushed against the rocks was not something he wanted to experience.

The demon opened up a small hole in the top of his shield. It was covered in a layer of ice, preventing him from easily digging his way out. He also couldn’t teleport as his bond with Maharet prevented dimensional travel. Bael didn’t know how deeply the avalanche had buried him, or what had become of Murphy. At least he knew Six was fine, having seen Titan teleport her off to safety.

Bael summoned a drill and went to work digging an escape tunnel. Chunks of ice rained down on him as he worked. Eventually one of them landed in his open mouth. To his surprise, it was sweet.

“There’s no way…” the demon said as he recognized the taste, discarding his drill to grab a chunk of frozen ice. He took a bite and let out a low moan of delight as the ice cream melted in his mouth. It was creamy, with chunks of brownie and salted caramel.

With his drill forgotten, Bael summoned a spoon the size of a trowel and continued making his escape. When he got back to the surface, Six and Titan were waiting for him. Bael emerged from the avalanche, clutching his head and rolling around in pain.

“What’s wrong?” Six called out as she ran to him. She didn’t see any obvious wounds, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t hurt.

Bael waved her off, rubbing his forehead as he got back to his feet.

“Did you get hit with a rock or something?”

“No,” Bael said as he gritted his teeth, “I’ve just got a really bad case of brain freeze.”

Six looked from the hole in the ground, to her father. “You didn’t…”

“HE DID,” confirmed Titan.

Bael let out a weak smile. “What can I say, it was really good ice cream. Too bad the topping choices were so limited.”

As soon as the words were out of his mouth there was another pulse of magic followed by a low rumble. “Oh fudge,” he said as a wave of dark sludge made its way towards them.