Surviving a Shounen Manga

Chapter 82

Goblin Genealogy

The goblin genealogy.

A document that serves as the family register of all goblins, except for children who haven’t yet received a god’s blessing.

For goblins who are full of lies, bluffs and whimsy, it is the one irrefutable proof of existence; an ancient document that can only be accessed by Oldboy who serves as its scribe.

That was all I knew about the goblin genealogy. Nothing else.

No, I did know one more thing.

There was only one being recorded in this genealogy who wasn’t an actual goblin.

Other than that, I really didn't know anything else.

The reason I didn't know was simple. Because that was all the information that’d been released. This was one of those ‘unrecovered rice cakes' that the author had mentioned only once in the original story. A plot hook that was never again explored.

‘I want to become a goblin' was basically me asking to be included in this goblin genealogy.josei

But Oldboy started rapidly blinking as if his thoughts had gone down a completely different track.

And then,

"Well… well, that’s… um… Changing a human into a goblin is beyond my ability… Well, no, I don’t even know if it’s even possible in the first place… Well, it sure is something I'd like to try, though…"

Was he seriously taking my request literally?

After amusedly watching him flop around for a while, I brought up the genealogy.

There was no need to go crazy and try to find a way to change my race. I just wanted him to put me on the family register.

Then,

"… What? Genealogy?"

The old man asked in surprise.

"Hey, how did you hear about that? It must’ve been Chinuavi, right?"

"Nope."

"No? But, but the genealogy, how could you…"

Seeing him so surprised, I felt like teasing him a bit more for some reason.

"What, you still don’t understand? Look here, I'm human, the second one to step foot here in the Goblins’ Den. I even know about the genealogy. Can't you think of anything? For example, having some relation with the first human in the genealogy…"

"Wh-… what?"

Suddenly, Oldboy's expression changed suddenly.

His upper and lower lips, which had been wide open all the time, pressed tightly together, and the wrinkles between his brows, which had been covered with quiet surprise, narrowed and firmed. His entire face was now full of startled vigilance.

Then, in a surprisingly low voice,

"… You bastard. What’s your connection with the last adventure king?"

He quietly asked me.

The first human to visit the Goblins’ Den and the only non-goblin who’d left his name in the goblin genealogy –

– Was none other than the adventure king of the previous generation.

And of course, I had no relationship with him, nor did I know how he’d gotten his name on the genealogy, or even how he was related to the goblins.

Was it because of that?

‘Hmmmm…'

Oldboy's reaction was somewhat surprising, to be honest. I knew he’d be surprised or startled, but I hadn’t expected this level of vigilance.

‘What happened to taking it as a joke?'

To be honest, this was mentioned only once in the original, and as a Chekov’s Gun that went forever unfired, I hadn’t expected it to amount to anything important. But this setting seemed to be hiding more secrets than I thought.

‘No, wait.'

Maybe it was the mention of the previous adventure king that had made Oldboy so vigilant.

In the second half of the original he was mentioned often as a predecessor, but at this point in time, he was close to a ‘mythical being' shrouded in a veil of mystery. It felt as if the whole world was shivering from his existence.

If the current situation had happened within an actual chapter, and our conversation revealed to the readers, the author probably would’ve been running a sweat just from the mention of that man.

But what did it matter?

"You have to win the bet to know that, right?"

"… You bastard!"

I wasn’t about to show how rattled I myself was.

Instead I responded with a smile.

Soon after,

"… Cough, cough, hm."

Oldboy seemed to be trying to calm himself by coughing a couple of times, probably because he thought he was overreacting.

However, he couldn’t hold on to his curiosity, and he immediately asked the question again.

"Then how did you know that… No, no. Forget it. Then please tell me why. Why do you want to become a goblin… no, want to be included in the genealogy?"

"…"

But instead of answering, I kept silent.

In fact, I couldn’t actually answer, because the whole thing was quite complicated.

Registering myself in the goblin genealogy.

This meant giving myself a goblin background, which would automatically add goblin-like characteristics such as ‘lies', ‘bluffs', ‘disruption' and ‘confusion' to my character. Not only that, I’d also get other modifiers like ‘newcomer to the stage', ‘supernaturally strong', and ‘nightmarishly bizarre'.

The reason why this was important was simple. Just by adding these, I could solve the many questions that were currently accumulating around my character in one stroke. Without breaking ‘plausibility', too.

Right now, I had two major problems that needed solving (which readers were very curious about).

First, my character background.

Second, my unique ability.

Let’s consider the character background first.

Readers had no choice but to wonder. What the hell was my character Nara doing?

Ever since the amusement park arc, I’d firmly established the purpose of my character, in order to put to rest the doubts that had risen about me.

I’d declared that I would become the next adventure king.

This action had elicited many cheers from the readers, and had the effect of clearing away any questions about my identity and actions that they couldn’t understand up to that point. Actually, at that time, I’d been able to quietly bury my background as the ‘Former No.2 of the Red Scorpion'.

The problem was that this was just a temporary measure.

Whenever more about my ‘new’ past would be revealed, the suspicion would raise its head again.

For example:

While fighting the black cat, Nero, readers had learned that I’d previously worked as a zookeeper at the Southland National Park.

Then, they were tilting their heads again.

What, you worked as a zookeeper in Southland?

But weren’t you a mafia executive before?

Didn't you tell Kiriko that you were an agent of the International Council?

What’s all this about?

Moreover, my ‘past’ was bound to keep growing in the future. In order to get the benefits of various hidden traits and associations, I’d keep purchasing backgrounds, and they would become part of my new past.

Of course, I could stay careful to not get caught, but that also had its limits.

In other words, it was essential to explain away the ‘purpose' of these countless pasts.

And there was nothing like being a ‘goblin' to fix this.

Why did I do things like that?

Look at me as a ‘goblin’, and the explanation becomes self-evident. For ‘fun'.

One of the strengths of this goblin background was that no special reason was necessary to do something. Given the racial setting, any behaviour could be explained away with just one word, ‘fun'.

And the other goblin trait, whimsy.

This fickle nature lent my inconsistent behaviour a very solid veneer of ‘plausibility'. To wit, that I was just moving as my mood took me.

This along with ‘fun' was an ultra-strong combo to quiet down any suspicions about my actions.

Also, although it is a separate issue, I’d be able to explain to Chinuavi where the source of my goblin knowledge came from.

Hey, you might not have known, but actually, I have a direct connection to the goblins.

Even if he hadn’t mentioned it much lately, he must’ve still been curious. That must’ve been part of the reason why he’d so meekly guided me here.

In any case, registering in the genealogy was entirely under Oldboy’s control as the scribe, so it was possible to backdate it to several decades ago. As long as Oldboy kept his lips sealed, no one would ever find out.

And next, the second question readers had about me.

My unique ability.

This also could be explained to some extent by putting on the background of a goblin.

First of all, my [Mimic Acrobat] didn’t need an explanation. This was straight from the original. As long as the conditions for mimicry were explained, things would settle down.

The problematic part is that I’d mimicked other characters' abilities, and that too from the future.

And this meant that I only needed to explain that I could see the ‘future'.

In fact, this was not something that could be done simply through the background of a goblin. Even goblins couldn't see the future.

But,

‘What’s his name again… Naturevi?'

It was meaningful in that it brought me closer to ‘a particular goblin'.

No character in Adventure King perfectly knew the future.

However, there were a select few who could see some fragments, and the goblin Nataurevi was one of them.

This goblin was a worshipper of the God of Bluffs, and his unique ability was called [Charlatan Who Dreams of the Future]. He had a tendency to brag about his night-time dreams next day as if they’d really happened. And it was set that one of them would come true.

This guy was my trump card.

What if there was a goblin who knew glimpses of the future through his unique ability? What if I’d mimicked it? Wouldn't that establish how I could mimic someone’s future ability?

Of course, for this to happen, I had to first receive their gods’ blessings so I could actually mimic the goblins' abilities.

Anyway, this was the line of thought that’d made me decide to register my name on the goblin genealogy.

And once that happened, I planned to take the hundred goblin-shaped bombs, go visit the crime scene in Westland where the new chapter would open, and light a fuse. That terrorist attack would be my proclamation to the whole world. To reveal to them my identity, and my purpose.

Oldboy apparently viewed my silence as a ‘prank' or ‘bluff' that the goblins specialized in.

"Look here, you idiot. This isn’t something I can do on my own. Being recorded in the genealogy literally means you have to prove yourself a goblin. And that proof is being chosen by one of our gods. That's why the young kids who haven't received a god’s blessing can’t make it to the genealogy. The previous adventure king was able to become an honorary goblin despite being a human because of his deeds. He rescued us when we were in danger, so… No, no. Why am I even explaining this?"

Then he looked at me and clicked his tongue.

"Don't talk nonsense, you idiot! You don’t even know what…"

Therefore,

"Hey, who’s the idiot here?"

I shook my head.

"Have you already forgotten the first reward you have to give me?"

"What?"

"Did you forget what I asked for?"

Soon after,

"Ummm… huh? Wait! Is that why you asked for the Spirit Festival?"

The old goblin screamed in surprise.

"Why else did you think I asked for that?"

"I just… thought you wanted to experience the rituals of us goblins…"

"Heh…"

Could there be a more nonsensical reason?

Oldboy apparently noticed this as well.

"Are you really trying to get the blessing of a goblin god? Do you think that makes sense? Somebody who isn’t even a goblin… No, more than that, don't you already have a unique ability? I heard that you summoned a small winged monster? Although it’s a ritual to invite the gods, it’s no different from humans receiving unique abilities."

"That doesn't matter, I'll figure something out."

"Heeh…"

Oldboy, after a small pause, realized that I looked dead serious, and suddenly lowered his voice.

"… You bastard, I don't know what you’re playing at, but you've come well-prepared. Looks like there’s nothing you don't know. How the hell…"

Then,

"Alright, if we keep chatting like this, nothing will get done apart from stoking my curiosity. Boy, would you like to make a quick bet with me?"

It was a sneaky suggestion.

"Three worldly qualities. Have you ever heard of it?"

"… Why?"

"Hey, looks like you already know. There are three ways to answer any question. Actually, I was going to do it from the beginning. Goblins do this all the time whenever they meet someone new."

‘Three worldly qualities' was one of the things about the goblins that I also appreciated.

It wasn't particularly abstruse, and yet it revealed their sharp wits.

If we’d been in the middle of a chapter, I might’ve even considered it. There were a few interesting scenes that could be drawn out.

But,

"Hm? But I have no intention of taking part. You play by yourself."

Not now.

"What!? Are you ignoring the goblin culture? Weren’t you asking to be included in the genealogy just now? Is this how you treat your would-be chief?"

"Oh yeah. How clueless do you think I am? Three worldly qualities? It just means you're going to keep asking questions. It’s a game that’ll never end unless you want it to."

"… Well."

"Let’s make a bet and do things properly. If you can win the bet, you get to ask everything you want to ask. Stop trying to take a shortcut and cheat me."

"Huh… fine, alright. Then go on, suggest a sport. Just don’t make it boring."

Actually, I had already planned something.

Fast, efficient, and simple.

"Easy enough. Let's make a bet on whether or not I can get a goblin god’s blessing at the Spirit Festival. You don't think it makes sense anyway, right?"

But,

"… Haah."

Upon hearing this, the old goblin gaped as if he was somehow shocked.

Why? I didn't think this was such a surprising offer.

"What, is it too easy?"

Then,

"Heh, what an idiot…"

He stroked his beard and slowly started speaking.

"Do you know it means to have a blessing from a goblin god? It means you're already a goblin, aren't you? You get added to the genealogy straight away."

"Ah… ah? Really?"

"Moreover, if you receive it right in front of my eyes, there’s no need for a separate reporting and verification."

"Ah… Then I’ll keep the bet as it is, and just change the reward…"

"Nope. You can't change what you've already chosen."

"…"

It was unfortunate, but didn't matter in the end. I was going to get what I needed in any case.

"Then it’s decided. If you receive a goblin god’s blessing at the Spirit Festival, I’ll grant you everything you’ve ever asked for. But if you don't…"

"Simple, yeah? I’ll tell you all my secrets."

"Good. Follow me. Let’s get started right away."

I followed Oldboy to the altar, to commence the Spirit Festival.

I slowly climbed up the altar decorated with various ceremonial witch-weapons (巫具).

"Whoo…"

I was a little nervous, now that things had come to a head.

In fact, although I’d requested the Spirit Festival myself, I wouldn’t be able to receive a blessing through this. Just as Oldboy had said, I wasn't even a goblin, and I already had a unique ability.

Nevertheless, there were two reasons for such a request.

First, in order to make sure I got the promise that I’d be included in the genealogy.

Second, because some of the implements used in the ritual were necessary.

Spirit Festival is a ceremony for young goblins around the age of ten.

The reason why children who aren’t physically mature can face the gods and stay safe, is not simply because they’re goblins.

It’s because there are devices that assist them to handle the presence of the gods.

I turned to the mirror the size of my body that stood on the altar.

Dream Soul Mirror (夢魂鏡), the most important instrument of the Spirit Festival.

Its role was to illuminate the pathway to the Realm of Dreams.

But this wasn’t the tool that I needed help from today.

Three weapons were placed on the round table next to it.

A pair of bells, one large and one small, and a small drum.

Unparalleled weapons that instilled strength into young souls so they wouldn’t get engulfed by the mighty powers of the gods.

Those were my targets.

My body was at an incomparably higher level than before. What if I had these on hand on top of that?

Even if the five goblin gods came, wouldn't I be able to endure them without difficulty?

I took up the weapons in my hands and held them to my chest.

Next, I recalled my main aims.

1. To be chosen by all the five goblin gods.

2. If that doesn't work, the God of Bluffs and the God of Sabotage at least.

3. Obtaining a specific ability from the God of Sabotage.

"Whoo…"

Several thoughts popped into my head at the same time.

Could I really do it? Could I actually convince those goblin gods?

Well. I honestly couldn't be sure.

I'd never seen or heard of something like this even in the original.

My heart was pounding.

Was it because of fear, or excitement?

Then,

"Look in the mirror."

The old man under the altar whispered to me.

It seemed to mean he was starting.

Giving a rough nod, I turned my head toward the mirror.

But instead of looking at it, I closed my eyes.

Then, quietly, I began to mimic the ritual to meet the gods.

Blink–.

When I opened my eyes, it was a to a pure white world.

Waves of light meandering in all directions. A realm made of dreams where the unconscious flowed like a river.

It was a ‘dream come true’ – except literally.

"I’m here again…"

It was a bit surprising, but I was also curious.

And while I was just around –

Suddenly,

"Here!"

A voice came.

I quickly turned my head to the side where the voice had come from.

There was a small child standing there.

A kid?

‘No way.'

He was a god, no question. Because this was their space.

To be honest, I couldn't help but be confused.

1. They came almost as soon as I entered,

2. Unlike before, they had a clear shape.

‘A child's appearance… because I have the spiritual armour worn by thet young goblins?'

I couldn't decide if it was a positive or a negative for me, so I had no choice but to be cautious.

Then the kid walked over to me.

"… Who are you?"

The child did not answer my question.

Instead, he smiled.

"Uh… huh?"

The wide-open mouth and the gleaming eyes were deeply disturbing.

It was a look that brought with it a flash of remembrance.

The Disruptor God. The God of Sabotage.

"You’ve been waiting for a while."

The child took a step forward.

Somehow, he seemed to overflow with a threatening yet sinister intention.

I took a step back without realizing it.

It was true that my goal was to get a favour from the Disruptor God. But it wasn’t just him. And the order is wrong. This is the first issue that came to mind was…

‘… There’s a big problem.'

It was completely unplanned, or something that had to be avoided.

So, the moment I decided I had to step back,

"Uh, uh…? Wait, wait. Don't come. Stand there for a moment…"

As if he was planning to eat me –

The child immediately pounced upon me.

"Come on, wait a minute!!"

Editor's Notes:

None for this chapter.

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