Sword, Magic and Academic Society

Vol. 1 - Ch. 83 - A Half-a-century Ago Tale (A silly, boastful clash of egos)

*T/N - It is an interlude chapter. By the way, the title in parenthesis is what I put. You will soon understand.

Godorfun and I — after I was done with my practice — entered the dorm and went to the cafeteria. When we arrived there, several people were setting the tables in a bit of a flurried manner.

Sora's workload had suddenly exploded when the previously deserted dormitory had become as lively as a theater. She looked completely distressed by the situation, so I started helping her. This sudden and voluntary action was picked up by the other dorm occupants and this was how the current situation came about. The image of the dorm had truly transformed like a rising star.

The dorm did receive a supplementary budget, enough to just hire employees, and there were already some that had started working. However, as a frugal person who hardly experienced such luxury, I insisted that if there was such a surplus of money, it might as well be used for materials and research.

But I was beaten down already. As if they were some kind of clairvoyant who had already foreseen my objection, the staff was hired only for the bare minimum. While the rest was done by ourselves or through a schedule.

"Goodness, y'all sure are hard workers heh. Well, at least the Knight Order isn't going to have students whining to take along a chef for camping from this batch. Each and every one of them truly was a sheltered bunch, they don't even realize any non-combatant is just an extra liability when the camp is raided on the battlefield. Those garden flowers just don't seem to get it no matter how much you yap at them.

But seeing the students here willingly doing the work without any complaint is truly a sight for sore eyes. I bet all of them will become someone befitting of suitable status."

Godorfun stated while narrowing his eyes in delight when Sora showed her face from the kitchen.

"If it isn't Godorfun, and here I wondered what kind of old ghost drifted here. What kind of wind brought you here when you haven't visited the dorm ever since graduating 50 years ago, huh?"

Huh, so Sora-san had been working in the dorm for over 50 years... No wait, then what's her current age?

"It's been a while, Madame Sora. I have nothing but disgraced memories of this place. I truly loathed it, so I didn't want to bring myself here. Never again, would I step here again… was my resolution.

...But you see, the radiant visage of my pupil here gave me the push to finally face my past bratty self, and coming here, I couldn’t help but want to see you. I’m truly ashamed of my immature self."

After saying that, Godorfun apologized, bowing akin to the greeting one does in training. Sora's eyes narrowed in emotions for just an instant before being replaced by her typical maniac-like smile.

"Hyahaha! What Madame? Yeah, you truly have grown up to say something like that. I still remember how you, after being bullied by your seniors, would cry in the bathroom while hugging your knees without turning on the lights… The passage of time is truly a fast one, no?"

Godorfun also smiled back, with a blue vein throbbing on his temple.

"Well, did something like that ever happen? Oh, I know. Age has surely caught up to Madame, so maybe your mind is going senile, fufufu. But I had indeed taken the vow to never turn my face when being promoted to another class. Though it was all those bitter experiences that made me who I am right now."

"Hahaha. I never thought that 'Crybaby Godor' would learn to have such a slick tongue. But so be it. I still clearly remember that burning zeal within your eyes when you stood outside the dorm, saying 'I won’t return here ever again, that's why this is our farewell for all eternity, Sora. I’m much obliged for your care all this while' before leaving.

'Ah, the child has finally stood up on his feet, and he will continue to do so’, I had thought then… You were the star of hope that this dorm had long since sought for. I used to tell this to all those children who had lost their confidence, how that definition of 'Indomitable' used to be here, crying endlessly from frustration. But he used that as a springboard and look at where it brought him. How many had been given the push to walk forward in these several decades, huh?

Well, the current occupants are all excellent so there's just no chance to tell them your sob story. It's been a while, why don't you have breakfast as well?"

'Then, I will take you up on your offer,' said Godorfun, while scrunching up his face from having his dark history dug up by Sora.

Today's breakfast consisted of grilled Greateus Snake liver with a sauce so bitter it would contort your mouth, along with milk with such a horrendous stench as if someone had wiped the spilled milk with a rag and squeezed it back into a cup.

"When I heard you were all merrily enjoying the breakfast here, I was really surprised since all that was left in my memory was nothing but a rotten stench, though I thought that my prejudice of being here for all those years exaggerated it... But this is even more heretical than I imagined.

You all really have great prospects awaiting you to be able to handle this so easily. I really can't eat this."

Gordolfen took a bite of each, dipping them into the side dish, and sipped the milk, then set down his knife and fork.

He had just done that when the invincible man, Al, said with a face full of smiles.

"Godorfun-sensei! What you see there are the words that Allen learned from Schord-san! It's all about determination!"

Godorfun turned to glance at the wall Al pointed out where a poster with the slogan of 'Once you clear your mind of mundane thoughts, even roaring flames are nothing but a refreshing breeze' was framed in large, bold letters.

"Hahaha. It seems like 'Unceasing Prudence' is a concept impossible for you. Oh my, what a pitiful sight to see that your soul is still that of the crybaby Godor even after 50 years."

Sora's face immediately twisted into that of a crazed scientist and provoked Godorfun.

Having been told 'You don't have what it takes to practice Unceasing Prudence so it's truly impossible for you' in front of his students, another blue vein throbbed on Godorfun's temple as he picked up his knife and fork.

"I once survived on just tree bark for one week after I was attacked by enemies on the battlefield which caused me to drift away from my comrades. This heretical cooking can never be worse than that."

"Hahaha. Well if you feel like eating it, then stand in that magical tool and crank its handle first. It would be easier to compare the data from before and after."

"...What in the world is this? Never saw this type of magical tool before."

It was a bathroom weighing scale-style magical tool placed in a corner of the cafeteria that Sora had pointed out. It was designed by me and created by Fey. Dorm occupants here take their reading every day before and after eating breakfast.

"It's a magical tool we created, after being briefed by Allen, that measures and records your mana capacity, mana circulation, the smoothness by which you can change attributes, and many more. 'The result would surely become a good source of motivation and growth by extension' were Allen's words back then... It was developed under Sora's supervision, and cost 3 million rea."

...What? I never knew it was so expensive...

???

The breakfast was like a scene from a battlefield that Godorfun challenged as if he were facing a mortal enemy. After that, we headed for the public bath.

"Just the same as ever, huh? Haaa... It's like this dorm had its time stopped, unchanging for the past 50 years. The sole difference is the radiance in the eyes of the students living here."

Slip Godorfun had just said that when something went past his leg.

"......The heck is that?"

"Huh?...... Ah, this is the automatic cleaning robot Runpo-kun V3. With enough mana and water, it can keep cleaning and wiping on its own continuously for 24 hours. This was also Fey's creation."

"...Robot? ......It can easily snatch away the livelihood of a great many people so be careful when releasing it to society."

"Everything that needs care around here has been left to Fey, their inventor… Anyway, sensei said that this place is the same as ever, right? But this place has gone through quite a bit of renovation though.

Well, you wouldn't find any gaudy decoration here of course, but it was enough to aid in training and all that. Like how a sauna has been installed in the public bath we're heading for to heal our fatigue. But oh boy, its maintenance cost sure is high. It took almost all of the renewed budget granted to the dorm."

Why do I have a say in the dorm's budget? Because I was the dorm vice superintendent. Originally, Riyad-senpai used to be the dorm superintendent in name only, but then he said 'My absence is piling up with my increasingly hectic schedule so I am leaving everything to you, Allen' and named me as his assistant.

As a matter of fact, the only facility installed with the dorm’s money was just a sauna. The rest of the trivial amount went into the samples that the magical tool research club invented.

Godorfun's eyes widened upon hearing my words.

"Goodness me! A sauna in the Academy's dorm? Sublime! Spectacular decision. The sauna is the soul of my life. There's no sauna facility nearby so I seldomly visited one but it wouldn't be bad to show myself here occasionally in that case."

We entered the bath while chatting over such a topic. The temperature of the water was 55 degrees, the same as the 'extra-fine sake' in the language of Japanese rice wine. I bet this would surprise even the folks of Kusatsu. (T/N - Apparently a place, Kusatsu Onsen)

On, and I don't use the sauna in the morning. I prioritized letting my body heal my tired muscles naturally. I explained the same to Godorfun and left him with the words 'Today's a holiday, so please use it to your heart's content.'

I saw Leo entering just a while ago so I don't think I need to stick with him here.

???

After Allen left for the bath, Godorfun, with a look of excitement unbecoming of his age, headed for the sauna.

His recent schedule had been so hectic for him that he only had time to use the simple shower in the Academy, unable to dip in the hot water that he longed for. And with all the ongoing meetings, this was just the perfect chance to loosen his stiffened muscles.

With these thoughts, and suppressing his bubbling excitement, Godorfun calmly stepped into the sauna but was surprised by its temperature.

Cold...?

The temperature of the sauna was so cold it reminded him of the time when he had subjugated the Ice Dragon in the Yuhard Mountain Region.

"Sir? Why are you here?"

Leo, who had entered just a while ago, asked Godorfun.

"Oh, don't mind me. I was just curious to see how everyone here is doing. Since I had been with Allen Rovenne in his morning training, I thought to look at the situation here as well. But a cold sauna, huh? That's quite an unconventional setup."

Godorfun murmured and sat down on the upper stair, diagonally above Leo. 'Ahh,' several people shrieked in that instant.

“What? What happened?”

"Sir... This ice sauna is set at minus 30 degrees. Allen said icing is the elixir for fatigue recovery and muscle growth. But to sit down with a wet body and without a towel in the cold… that would cause your butt to stick to the floor and you wouldn't be able to stand up."

Godorfun concentrated his strength on his feet. Sure enough, it was as if his butt had been glued to the floor, it just wasn't budging. He could force himself up, but that would cause his skin to peel off and it was anyone's guess how much blood would spill from that.

One of the students who had just entered the sauna hurriedly dashed off outside and brought in some hot bath water that he splashed around Godorfun's butt.

Soosh With a mild sizzling sound, Godorfun's bum was finally freed from the floor.

"This is a typical case with first-timers and has happened quite a lot. It would be fine to just completely wipe your body and spread a towel on the floor to sit on. In case someone is stuck, there are red buttons around which can stop the sauna by pushing it."

"Sorry, that was a lapse in my judgment."

Godorfun meekly apologized, though, at the same time, it had hit his pride as a first-rate sauna-melier — a sommelier but for saunas — that he had trained in the Wangyus territory, rich with hot springs and saunas.

???

The folks that entered the sauna could be divided into types: ones that fight with their inner selves, and ones that fight with others.

Godorfun belonged to the latter category. The tragedy that followed when a man of a stubborn nature met with a man of a similar nature — who had just entered the sauna as well — was a scene familiar even to Earth or another world.

Leo had entered the ice sauna a step earlier than Godorfun. By this time, everyone, aside from Godorfun, had already been replaced by other students, save Leo.

Godorfun's body had chilled to the point that he couldn't even properly close his mouth. However, did he have the choice to leave? No, not when Leo, who had been here earlier, was still in his position.

Leo, the source of this tragedy, had his eyes closed in silence, enduring the chill. It was clear that he was conscious of Godorfun!

Anyone with enough brain cells could guess he was contending to match the timing with Godorfun's departure, 'his goal for today'. His legs were trembling like a newborn fawn, and even the tip of his ears — not just lips — had turned bluish-purple.

*This can't go on... He's already at the juncture of getting frostbite. Shouldn't he know when to give up, for god's sake?

I had entered here later, how could a sauna-melier like me possibly leave first then!? And this chill on my legs… It's clear that the cold is more concentrated on the lower steps. It would be a shame on my honor, having appraised so many saunas, if I still get up first!*

A drowsiness assailed Godorfun while his mind was a mess as he monologued in his head.

Crap… Sleep is the nemesis of one's life.

Haa, I guess I only could use the dirty haggling of an adult to make him retreat before the vessel of this young man gets cracks of ice in it. He is too talented to get wasted here.

Having made up his mind, Godorfun suddenly stood up from his seat and headed for the door.

Seemingly on cue, and having already reached his limit, Leo also stood up and followed after Godorfun thinking 'Oh, it's finally the time to leave huh'.

However, Godorfun then suddenly turned on his heels right before the door and returned to the spot he was sitting earlier.

Leo, who had stood up to follow after Godorfun, was left as the sole standing person, a look of astonishment dyeing his face.

Fufufu. You’re still an amateur in sauna discipline if you can't even see through such basic feints, Leo. Godorfun gloated in his mind.

Leo, however, then curled his bluish-purple lips into a grin and started stretching on the spot before returning to his previous position.

You moron! Just how much do you despise losing!?

"...Umm, how about the two of you stop this moronic act and just leave it at that?"

Coco, who happened to be there, called out. But they had already closed their eyes, not intending to respond to his words.

30 minutes later, Jeu was greeted with the sight of two frozen tunas — two bodies with towels wrapped around their waist — thrown at her feet.

E/N - I’ve never heard of a cold sauna before. I learned something new. Also, I’m glad that the comedic tone of the novel is back.