Sworded Affair

Chapter 70 : Saint and Sinners

[Saint - Level 6 Cat]

A little help if you could? Noah asked furtively, as he attempted yet again to move the biggest orange cat he'd ever seen off of his chest. I wouldn't mind sleeping in, normally, but I really need to use the loo.

[Really? You're a Level 13 Invoker, don't tell me you can't even deal with a stray cat?]

Noah tried again, reaching a hand towards the cat. Just like before, Saint batted his clumsy attempt away with insulting ease, her paw moving faster than his eyes could track. She didn't hit very hard, admittedly, holding back enough that the blow didn't even bruise his skin, but this play fighting made it very clear nonetheless, that Saint had no intention of moving in the slightest.

I don't have any non-lethal spells! Noah retorted. I'm also not using Balefire on a Cat, especially not one sitting right on top of me.

[You'd better hold it in then. The nurse won't be coming with breakfast for another half an hour.]

"Wonderful."

---

Thirty two minutes later, the duty nurse swung by with a bacon sandwich and some orange juice. Noah was incredibly happy to see him, and incredibly annoyed that it took the nurse all of fifteen seconds to lift Saint up by the belly and melt her into a puddle with a few careful scratches.

"It's all in the hand movements," The nurse happily explained once Noah returned from the facilities. "Can never go wrong with the cheeks, chin or shoulders."

Saint was more than happy to be the practice dummy; she'd claimed most of the bed now, lying flat as a pancake while the nurse went to work.

"I've never had a cat," Noah shook his head. "None around when I was a kid, and after that, neither the Army nor the Security Service allowed pets on duty."

"You'll need to learn then," Elizabeth remarked as she entered the medical tent. "Cats have always been a valued companion in the magical world; dating back to the very beginnings of the Egyptian Empire. Having one by your side will be quite helpful for your reputation going forward."

"I wasn't aware I had a reputation at all," Noah grinned ruefully. "Standing out wasn't encouraged in MI5, not in public anyway. Speaking of which, you finally got some time to yourself outside of that tower?"

"A third-party has taken over my role in running the eighth floor trial, where Emma is now," Elizabeth explained with quite some relief. "The final trial upon the ninth floor is also spoken for, so my role as overseer has mercifully ended. I've also been told to warn you not to attempt the trial yourself; at least not until June when the facilities fully reopen. Emma was a surprise entry, but Overmind might actually erase you if you pull a repeat right after her, creating even more work on short notice."

"I have no plans to try the tower," Noah reassured her. "I'd probably get splattered on the first floor as I am now."

"About that," Elizabeth cut in. "I've had a dig through the Scholomance lost and found, on the way here. Most of what's available is useless to you, for a number of reasons, but I did find these. Your weak hand, please."

Noah held out his left hand, pleased to be able to move it without pain again. It lasted all of a second before his wife jammed a needle through his palm; only the item's description popping up preventing a fiery retort.

[Item gained!

Shieldwall Spike: All damage taken is dealt five fold to Mana instead of HP. This item breaks when the wearer's mana hits 0.]

"A bit of warning would've been nice," Noah chided, even as the stinging pain faded to nothing as the needle dissolved into his bloodstream, even the puncture wounds sealing behind it as the protective magic took effect.

[You should've blasted her with Balefire. It would have been hilarious.]

Ignoring the System's commentary for the time being, Noah looked expectantly back to his wife.

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"Did that hurt?" Elizabeth blinked. "That's strange, Emma has barely shown any signs of pain since the trials began."

[Because she's Undead, you imbecile! Why is it that a specialist in mental magic, is so bad at communicating with people?]

"Emma's special," Noah decided to reply, not particularly eager to share his System's animosity with his audience of one.

"Moving on," Elizabeth cleared her throat, cheeks colouring in embarrassment. "Your body isn't ready to anchor a pocket dimension yet, so this will be the next best thing."

[Five Finger Discount: Fits fifty items or fifty cubic feet in volume, whichever comes first]

"A bumbag," Noah raised an eyebrow. "Or I guess you'd call it a fanny pack. This thing must be older than we are, they haven't been fashionable for a long time."

[This model was last sold in 1957.]

"Most things in the lost and found belong to the long since departed," Elizabeth agreed. "Hardly a surprise, seeing as the living tend to ask for their belongings back at the end of their trials."

Noah grimaced at that, though it didn't stop him from fitting the bag into place at his waist. An idle thought struck him then, and he reached a hand towards Saint, still sitting happily on his bed.

[Don't.]

His hand jerked back at the single syllable warning.

[Emma was durable enough to brush off a cascade failure. You, on the other hand, would set a record for breaking your defensive item within minutes of receiving it.]

"Don't put living creatures in the bag of holding, got it," Noah mumbled quietly.

Not quietly enough to escape Saint's hearing unfortunately; having already experienced one inventory incident, the cat was in no mood for another and darted out of the tent in record time.

---

Day 8

"More peach juice," Emma ordered, sending the waiter back into the warehouse.

Whilst she still had yet to find a way around solid food, the castle boasted a large selection of refreshments as befitted a home for nobility. The service was top notch as well; the waiter returning barely a minute later with a fresh glass ready for her.

"Nothing for me," Princess Astaroth spoke, waving off the waiter before returning to her plate of smoked eel.

"Your loss," Emma teased, before downing half the glass in a single gulp.

[Status condition: Poison resisted.]

"Your gain, actually," Emma corrected. "Looks like we have a rat problem, and I don't mean the local wildlife."

---

Status update.

Emma Knight - Level 10 Revenant

Race: Undead {LOCKED}

Alignment: True Neutral

Anima: 600

EXP: 3110/4000

Abilities

Summon Unholy Sword {Epitaph} (Cost: 50% current Anima)

No Pal of Mine: Capture the soul of the slain, creating a simulacrum identical in strength and fully obedient. Maximum 1 active per 10 levels, rounding up.

The Leech King - Level 8

Sir Bearington - Level 4

Earthbound Immortal - Level 13

Antipode - Level 14

Weeping Scar: Wounds inflict periodic poison damage until they are healed.

Oversoul: Instantly possess the body of a living, lower-level target within the user's line of sight. No component of this ability will activate unless the target can be possessed.

Ardent Ephemera (Cost: 1% base Anima /second): Become intangible while active, able to pass unhindered through physical objects and blows.

Angel of Extinction (Cooldown: 24 days): Summon an avatar within line of sight. The avatar is invulnerable and disappears after 12 seconds, inflicting Instant Death to anyone who looked at it during that time. (17 days remaining).

Traits

Arcanivore: Enemies restore Anima when wounded or slain.

Wolf, Ram and Heart: All attacks imbued with Death magic, significantly increasing damage dealt.

Circle of Life: Increased affinity with animals. Decreased affinity with humans.

One with Everything: Damage reducing Anima to 0 stops at 1 instead. This effect cannot activate more than once an hour.

Inventory

Tea Kit (4/5th Bundle of Holy Tea Leaves, Kettle, Teacups, Matches)

Add-Ons

Music Player: Most of YouTube's hits, all in your head.

Fast Travel

Academia Mortalis

Main Quests

404 - Answers Not Found

Objective: Discover the cause of the mana surge that brought about the Apocalypse

Reward: ???

Blood Borne

Objective: Find your Mother

Reward: ???

Cum Laude

Objective: Reach the 10th floor of Scholomance

Reward: ???, Save Point, Quest: Magna Cum Laude

Align in the Sand

Objective: Complete the Trial of Crowns.

(Bonus) Objective: Complete the Trial with the Princess alive.

(Bonus) Objective: Complete the Trial without changing Alignment.

Rewards: 500 EXP, Archetype (Reaper)

Bonus Rewards: Companion - Princess Principal, Trait - Humanitarian Principle