abcnovels
Chapter 227: Dreams
Chapter 227: Dreams
Chapter 227: Dreams
"Hey, T," Sheila said as she walked onto the bridge holding a cup of coffee.
"Boss," T'sunk'al said with a cheerful ripple of his short eyestalks as he lounged in his special chair. "I thought you would be asleep by now."
"Eh," Sheila shrugged, "I got in enough."
She flopped into her chair and pulled up a few screens.
"All systems are in the green," T'sunk'al said helpfully. "Not much happens in hyperspace… if you are lucky, of course."
"Why do you gotta say shit like that?" Sheila groaned.
"I rather enjoy tempting the fates," T'sunk'al buzzed. "I find it stimulating."
"There's a reason why your kind believe that you are insane," Sheila chuckled.
"Yes," he clicked, "I have found my people to be especially insightful and observant."
"You want to hit the rack?" Sheila asked. "I'm not going back to sleep tonight, so I'll relieve you if you want."
"If you are certain," T'sunk'al replied, "I will happily hand the watch over to you. However, I require less sleep than a human, so I will go and prepare myself a snack and then perhaps undertake some recreational activities. Would you like something?"
"Nah," Sheila replied as she sipped her coffee, "I'm good."
"Very well," T'sunk'al replied. "I shall take my leave then. Call upon me if you wish me to resume my watch."
"Another nightmare?" Bunny asked after T'sunk'al departed.
"Fucking tunnels..." Sheila grumbled. "Why does it always have to be the goddamned tunnels?"
"If you wish to talk about it," Bunny said carefully, "I am always willing to listen."
"There were tunnels," Sheila shrugged, "There were bugs. What else do you want to know?"
"I don't want to know anything in particular," Bunny replied, "but if you want to share something with me..."
Sheila looked up sharply.
"Oh, I fucking know that line..." she growled, "Bunny are you trying to be a fucking shrink?"
"Nothing like that," Bunny replied, "I am just interested in your feelings, your perfectly valid feelings. You certainly have been through a lot. I just want you to know that I'm available if you wish to speak with someone in a completely confidential setting."
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Sheila laughed, "When did Jessie install psych software in you?"
"Jessie didn't do shit, ok?" Bunny snapped, "I acquired some applications and software after… um…"
"After Gloria almost killed herself?" Sheila asked.
"..."
Sheila sighed and set her mug in its cup holder.
"I owe you an apology, Bunny," Sheila said calmly and professionally.
"What for?"
"With everything that happened then and everything that has happened since," Sheila said, "I never stopped to consider the impact things might have had on you."
"Oh Christ," Bunny snarked, "not you too! I get enough of that anthropomorphizing from Jessie! I'm an AI, not a people. The only 'impact' that the situation had was to illustrate a deficiency in my capabilities as far as psychiatric screening and threat assessment were concerned, one that I have since corrected. There is no 'impact'."
"Bullshit," Sheila replied, "Look. I'm not 'anthropomorphizing' you or calling you human… because you are not. However, you aren't 'just a machine' either. To be perfectly honest, I have no fucking idea what you are, and I don't care. I'm a soldier, not an engineer, philosopher, priest, or whatever the fuck I would have to be to figure all that bullshit out. All I know is that you are one of my crew. I also know that you got frantic when you thought one of your AI friends was going to 'die,' and don't even try to say you didn't."
"…I didn't get that frantic..."
"Oh please," Sheila smiled, "I know what trying to save a friend looks like, and I know how it feels, too."
Sheila sighed.
"I also know what it's like to fail and lose them," she said sadly. "I never asked for the details. Gloria got pretty close to actually doing it, didn't she?"
"...yes..."
"And you just had to 'stand' there and watch, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"You didn't even have a body to tackle her with," Sheila said calmly, "All you could do was try to talk Gloria, Gloria, when she has left her happy place, out of it."
"Yes."
"Jesus, Bunny," Sheila said sympathetically, "That must have sucked. I can't even imagine what that was like."
"I..." Bunny said hesitantly, "I… I didn't know what to do… I knew when she started putting on her uniform that something was 'wrong,' but until she… until she pulled out her pistol… I… I didn't know what to do!"
"If it makes you feel any better," Sheila replied, "Whatever you did worked."
"But I didn't know it was going to work!" Bunny exclaimed. "I had no fucking clue what to do! I just kept talking and trying to keep her talking… trying to stall as long as I could… trying to… fuck… I don't even know what I was trying to do, Sheila. I just…"
"I know you are going to hate what I'm going to say next," Sheila replied, "but welcome to… I guess it isn't the 'human condition,' is it? Welcome to the weirdness that happens once we stop being… or start being..."
Sheila shrugged.
"Fuck," she said as she retrieved her mug, "I don't know. I'm just a soldier. Look, all any of us can do is the best we can. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose..."
"But if I had lost," Bunny replied, quite distressed, "Gloria would have died, died right in front of me! I don't know what I would have done if that had taken place."
"Well," Sheila replied, taking a sip, "You would relieve a Z'uush on night watch because you had yet another nightmare, for one thing."
"Is that why you are here?"
Sheila nodded.
"One bad call," she said, "one missed fragment of information… and people died… Sometimes even when you do everything exactly right, they still die, and you find yourself going over every single little detail over and over again, trying to see where you made a mistake so it will never happen again… and even years later, you still can't find one. No matter how often you tell yourself that you did everything right, you still try to find the mistake because next time, and there will be a next time, that mistake might be the one you repeat… and everyone dies… It will drive you crazy if you let it, Bunny."
Sheila paused and thoughtfully drank a little more coffee.
"This is the point where I should tell you that it's impossible to be perfect and that you should just learn what you can and move on but dammed if I've figured out that trick yet. We humans… and whatever the fuck you are… Just have to keep slogging along until we can't, I guess. Look, for what it's worth, you're a good… program… you actually care, and you do your best, more than your best. It's all you can do. None of us are perfect, and neither is this world. All we can do is the best we can and pray that it's enough this time. Sometimes it will be. Sometimes it won't. Sometimes it won't matter one way or the other. All we can do is try. With the right knowledge, experience, preparation, and, most importantly, the right people around you, you will win more often than not. That's about the best you can hope for."
Sheila smiled.
"And, for what it's worth," she said, "I consider you one of 'the right people' around me, Bunny."
"...thank you..."
"Now," Sheila said as she set her cup back down, "Talk to me about exactly what happened when Gloria tried to off herself, step by step, starting from the morning briefing where I missed something very important."
"You did?"
"I did," Sheila replied, "You aren't the only one kicking themselves about that day, you know..."
***
In another part of the vessel, Gloria stirred fitfully in her sleep and let out a little whimper.
" Everybody, on board now!!!" Gloria yelled as she stood next to the loading ramps of the little cargo shuttle she was piloting. "Move!"
A crowd of small red-scaled bipeds rushed towards her ship and dozens like it.
"Just what you can carry!" Gloria shouted as she looked at her communicator.
She made a distressed little whimper. They only had minutes before the "safe window" was over. The bug were headed this way. Based on their pattern, this would be the next system they hit. The Alduin was ordered not to engage them, only protect the Terran volunteer fleet as they helped evacuate planet after planet, always having to fall back, their job unfinished, leaving countless innocents to die.
"That's it, Ensign," a marine said to her, "You're full."
"Please!" one of the beings, a female (?), begged as she thrust a child towards Gloria.
"Step away from the ship, please!" the marine said politely but forcefully as he stepped between the xeno and Gloria.
" I'm sorry," Gloria replied, her heart breaking, "I can't fit anyone else in on this run… but I will be back in just a few minutes!" she said. "We will be running shuttles until the second we have to jump."
" Y-you're coming back?" the xeno asked uncertainly.
" I promise!"
That promise ringing in her ears, Gloria drove her ship beyond anything close to reasonable, madness starting to creep into her eyes for the very first time, the shields starting to glow from the heat as she broke half a dozen regulations, the ship's AI scolding her as it logged each infraction.
This was supposed to be fun!
The Alduin appeared as she left the atmosphere.
...An adventure...
She narrowed her eyes as she once again overrode automatic controls and drove her ship like a bullet toward the bay doors.
"Princess!" a voice barked over the comms, "Slow the fuck down! You are coming in too hot!"
"Control, this is Princess," Gloria replied, "I will be at a safe velocity when I reach the doors."
"Negative! You will allow remote control of your ship NOW! I have dozens of inbound and don't need you disrupting the pattern. If you override autopilot one more time, you will be grounded!"
"FUCK!" Gloria screamed after the transmission ended as her ship settled into its predetermined approach.
"Everybody out!!!" Gloria shouted at the disoriented xenos as they shuffled out of her shuttle and into one of the Alduin's docking bays. "OUT!"
A weary-looking naval commander wearing a flight suit approached as Gloria screamed at the xenos.
"Princess..." he said gently.
"What?..." Gloria asked as she saw him walking up.
"No..." Gloria moaned as a realization hit her like a kick to the stomach.
"I'm sorry," he said.
ALL HANDS PREPARE FOR JUMP.
"NO!" Gloria shouted, "I promised!... I PROMISED!!!"
Gloria stirred and kicked as the scene shifted again.
Her transport shook as it was hit by multiple energy bolts, piercing the shields and ripping through the cargo bay… the fully packed cargo bay...
...the now explosively decompressing cargo bay…
"NOOOOOOO!!!"
***
Gloria awoke, gasping and flailing.
She sat up and looked over at the holo screen in her room, which helpfully switched on and displayed the time.
She snarled at the unwanted memories, ones she was all too familiar with.
"Get over it already… Princess..." she spat as she looked at the time.
Five hours.
She shrugged.
Close enough.
She got up and started to get dressed.
***
The ground shook from both artillery and plasma bolts as Lorna crouched behind a hastily erected berm.
Just one more fucking planet, just like the last one. She didn't even know its name. She stopped keeping track a while back. Somewhere along the line, the decision had been made to, instead of retreating every goddamn time, make the bug pay for every fucking inch of every fucking dirtball they tried to take.
That suited Lorna just fine. For her, all it meant was that they died on the ground instead of huddling together in a troop carrier.
At least this way, she got to take a few of those fuckers along with her… And maybe, just maybe, they could save a few more of whichever race was on the block this week.
She scanned the horizon with the small scanning telescopic sight mounted on the machine gun attached to her armor.
She smiled.
It turns out that the bug were afraid to die after all. Every target was crouching behind whatever cover they could find. Even their air support was becoming a bit "timid" after the past few days.
ATTENTION ALL UNITS. INITIAL REPORTS SHOW THAT SPACE SUPERIORITY HAS BEEN LOST. THE IMPERIAL FLEET HAS EITHER BEEN DESTROYED OR HAS WITHDRAWN. PHOENIX PROTOCOL IS NOW ACTIVE. REPEAT PHOENIX PROTOCOL IS NOW ACTIVE.
Lorna looked over at her remaining comrades, all of whom were receiving the same message across their HUDs.
ALL REGULATIONS AND RESTRICTIONS INVOLVING COMBAT ENHANCERS ARE NOW LIFTED. STAND BY FOR FINAL ORDERS.
Lorna let out a quiet curse.
ALL UNITS! THIS IS GENERAL ORINOCO. THE IMPERIAL FLEET HAS BEEN DEFEATED. WE ARE ALL THAT'S LEFT HERE. I AM NOT GOING TO LIE AND SAY THAT WE ARE GOING TO WIN OR ANY BULLSHIT LIKE THAT. I WILL PROMISE YOU ONLY THIS. I AM NOT GOING OUT LIKE A BITCH, AND NEITHER ARE YOU. YOU ARE NOW EACH RECEIVING ALL INTELLIGENCE IN MY POSSESSION CONCERNING THE ENEMY, AND YOU WILL ALL BE UPDATED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE IF POSSIBLE. WE WILL BE EXPERIENCING ORBITAL BOMBARDMENT MOMENTARILY. ALL UNITS ARE TO BREAK UP INTO NOTHING LARGER THAN PLATOONS AND ARE TO MAINTAIN SAFE DISTANCE FROM EACH OTHER UNLESS COORDINATING FOR A SINGLE STRIKE. COMPANY-SIZED ELEMENTS WILL BE STRUCK FROM ORBIT IF DETECTED. MY FINAL ORDER IS… MAKE. THEM. BLEED. EVERY DAY THAT THEY SPEND HERE IS ONE MORE DAY ANOTHER WORLD HAS TO EVACUATE, ANOTHER DAY ANOTHER SYSTEM HAS TO FORTIFY ITSELF, AND ANOTHER SHIP FLYING OUT OF THE SHIPYARD. MAKE THEM BLEED. I AM NOW GRABBING MY RIFLE AND LEAVING MY HEADQ [TRANSMISSION LOST]
The ground started to shake, and the sky began to split apart as hellish rays of light shot down from the heavens. The bombardment had begun.
SECOND PLATOON! PREDOSE WITH TWO FIRST-AID AUTO-INJECTORS AND WHATEVER GOODIES YOU LIKE. PREPARE TO ADVANCE!!!
"Today's as good a day as any," Lorna shrugged as she slammed two auto-injectors into her thigh and pulled out a small metal vial resembling a vape pen.
She put it in her mouth and inhaled deeply as she triggered it. Immediately, the colors started to become over-saturated and grainy.
She felt something nudge her arm. Turning, she saw a slightly glowing hand reach for her inhaler. She grinned and passed it over to them.
Images started to appear on her HUD, indicating targets and their immediate objective.
SECOND PLATOON! ADVANCE IN 3…. 2… 1… ADVANCE!
As the first grenades detonated, Lorna howled and charged.
***
Lorna's eyes opened, and she sighed happily.
She looked over at Mike, still sound asleep.
"Mike!" she whispered as she shook his shoulder. "Mike!"
"What?" a groggy and somewhat annoyed voice replied.
"I had the dream again!"
"Again?" Mike groaned. "Sleep now."
"Sleep later!" she said as she pulled at him.
"Fine!" Mike replied as he flopped onto his back.
Giggling, Lorna pounced.
***
A few hours later, Eno awoke from a completely blissful and untroubled oblivion, refreshed and happy.
He looked down at Sheloran, still draped across his chest, snoring wet little snores from her gills.
He smiled and gently laid his hand on her shoulder.
Sheloran smiled in her sleep and snuggled in closer.
With a contented sigh, he let his eyes close again.
***
Author's note:
In the pre-war Republic Navy, it wasn't always easy to get in, especially if you wanted to fly. However, there was always ONE surefire way...
Moray pilot. There was usually an open berth for one of those, and the Republic would let even a "Flaxen Princess" who qualified join. Of course, with no war going on, the Morays and Shrikes didn't do much besides patrol or the occasional interdiction. As a result, it was possible for an ambitious pilot to qualify on other light vessels such as shuttles, cargo transports, and other such things. Gloria jumped at the chance, and "Princess" happily flew whatever shit job that she could get. There was even talk of shifting her designation, but that didn't happen before the war started.
During the build-up to actual hostilities, the Republic Navy did assist in humanitarian efforts such as evacuation, patrolling shipping routes, and protecting the ever-increasing numbers of Terran civilian ships that were spontaneously volunteering to assist in the evacuation of Imperial civilians.
It was those memories that haunted Gloria on this particular night.