Taming the Queen of Beasts

Chapter 436 - Quietly

GAR

He considered walking her back to the Treehouse, but he was partly afraid if he was that close Elreth might call him back to the meeting. And he wasn't sure how Rika was going to cope with being out in the WildWood. What if they ran into someone she didn't know? He wasn't sure what would trigger her fear and he didn't want to risk it.

So he approached slowly, watching her to see if she'd recoil. But when she didn't, he took his mother's seat, settling himself right next to her, though not touching, his back to the wall so they could both stare forward.

Rika sighed heavily. "I hate this," she said, shaking her head. "Every time it happens I feel like I just screw up everything. It ruins me."

"You didn't screw everything up, Rika," Gar said, floundering, realizing his natural instincts—to pull her close, to stroke, to soothe—weren't going to work here. He had to keep his distance, let her come to him. Like a wounded animal he'd helped Elreth nurse back to health when they were small. No sudden movements. No impatience.

Rika snorted. "I just cleared a building," she said dryly. "Pretty sure that's the definition of ruining… whatever. I can't believe… your parents are pretty incredible. Your mom, I mean."

Gar snorted. "Yeah, she is."

"Your dad is scary."

Gar tipped his head. "He can be. But… he's usually not," he said thoughtfully, like he'd just thought of it.

Rika turned her head to look at him. "He's the guy who stomped you down your whole life, right?"

Gar winced and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, but… I mean, yeah. But I'm starting to realize things weren't quite what I thought. And he apologized like I said. I feel like things are changing. I mean… I'm waiting to see. But… he'd never hurt you, Rika. He's super-protective—especially of females, and especially human females, because of my mom. Other than me you won't find anyone you're safer with."

Rika frowned. "He just watched his kids murder two people and he didn't even blink."

Gar's face hardened. "It's not murder when those people are attacking others and doing their best to bring down our entire Kingdom," Gar growled. "I know how that looked, and I get why it was scary. But seriously, Rika… that wasn't murder. That was defense—of you, and of our people as a whole."

She supposed on the face of it, at least, that was true. But she also saw that if this was the way Anima dealt with conflict, it was no surprise there was only a little over a thousand of them in the WildWood. They were like one of the species in the African sanctuaries—fully independent, and fully capable of killing each other to extinction on the basis of their instincts.

Knowing that wasn't a thought Gar needed to hear, Rika just sat there, wondering how to step forward, out of this hole she'd created. She should have known Gar would point to the light.

"I'll never hurt you, Rika. I want so badly for you to believe that. I'll never use my strength against you. I'd never hurt you physically. I vow it."

She turned to him. "So, you'd just hurt me emotionally?" she asked, wishing she was joking.

Gar looked very uncomfortable. "I don't want to," he said. "But… my emotions are hard to control. And I don't always understand them. I know I do hurt people sometimes. Especially my family. I can promise I'll never plan to. I can promise I'll never try to. But it might happen."

He looked at her earnestly, his eyes flaring with a combination of fear and hope. Her breath caught at the pleading in him.

"I know I'll say the wrong thing, or take the wrong action at some point. I'm certain I'll have to apologize. But I can assure you, Rika… you will never, never need fear my strength. Or that of my family. "

***** 

RIKA

Rika's heart dropped. "I just watched your sister kill a human being that came here!"

"Because they were a threat to our entire Kingdom. And still I stood between you. Once she's sure of who you are… that won't happen to you, Rika."

"And until then?"

"Until then, I stand between you. Always. My parents as well."

His words touched something deep inside her. Something she usually kept in the shadows. A part of her that needed to be held softly and had been too often bruised.

"Why?" The word cracked.

Gar's forehead crinkled like he might join her in tears. "Because you're my mate. That makes you the most important person in my life," he said quietly. "And in my family, that makes you important to them, too." His Adam's apple bobbed. "You're one of us, Rika. I know it doesn't feel that way yet, but… but just be patient. You'll see."

She didn't drop his eyes, just stared, hope welling in her chest and making her afraid to speak in case it came out.

They sat silently for a long while, Rika staring at nothing, wanting to move, but not knowing how. As tense as she was, she was also exhausted. And desperately aware that she was creating so much drama. She hated being the center of attention like that.

"Thank you for not leaving," she said again, knowing he wouldn't understand how important that was. "When things like that happen I need space, but being alone can be… difficult."

Gar frowned thoughtfully. "So, if it happens again…?"

"Do exactly what you did. Back off. Don't touch me. But don't leave. Just… be there. Like that night in the cave."

Gar nodded. "Okay. I'll try."

She wasn't sure why the simple words, the simple assurance made her want to cry. But after a long moment she was still swallowing tears when Gar leaned forward.

"Can I… touch you?"

She nodded, and when he got to his feet and offered his hand, not touching her until she offered hers, then he pulled her to her feet.

Rika surprised herself by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into an embrace.

Gar buried his nose in her neck and inhaled deeply, his arms tightening at her sides. But she could feel the caution with which he moved. The restraint he was holding over himself. And a part of her grieved it. She never wanted to be the reason he felt caged.

Never.