Taming the Queen of Beasts

Chapter 505 Gotta Be Sure

GAHRYE

He almost dozed off. The world faded and Kalle's scent overwhelmed him, his breath the only noise, cushioning him against thought.

But then Kalle took a long breath and her voice broke through the bubble.

"Why didn't you tell them?" she asked quietly.

Gahrye deflated like a pricked balloon. "Why don't we just enjoy our night and—"

"No, Gahrye, I need to understand. You knew. You knew what they're facing—what we're facing. The two traverses answered the whole question. Why didn't you tell them?"

He sighed heavily and rolled off of her to lay, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the ceiling again.

Kalle didn't roll into his side, but turned her head to stare at him on the pillow. He didn't meet her eyes, because he was revealing his cowardice, and this wasn't the night he wanted to do that.

"Gar just found his mate," he whispered. "Literally. The disformed just got their tribe. Like, there's so much joy there right now."

"But if you don't warn them, they won't be prepared. Gahrye, you can't let Elia—"

"I wasn't lying when I told Gar it needed to be shared with the people involved first," he said firmly, fighting anger that she was forcing him to talk about this now. He didn't want to focus on the pain of others. He wanted to wallow in his mate. "And I haven't even talked to Reece yet."

Kalle made a little noise in her throat that felt a spear between his ribs. "What are you going to do if he refuses?"

"He won't."

"Gahrye, he's already anxious about you going. He's not going to be willing to leave me here without both of you."

"He's not going to have a choice. I need him. Need his gift. And they will too. He's always wanted to spend more time there, this is his chance." He knew the words were idiotic as soon as they came out of his mouth. And Kalle did too.

She pushed up to sit and stared down at him, her brow pinched with frustration. "Gahrye, this isn't a vacation. You're talking about never seeing our son again."

He rolled out of the bed and pushed to his feet, anger and fear and weariness twisting his guts together. "You don't think that will be better for him? A new life? A new world. You think it's better if he's here—alone?!"

"No, we already agreed that we thought Anima was the best place for him—"

"Then why are you looking at me like that?"

Kalle's gaze didn't soften. "Because you're running from this, and you don't usually run. Pretending that any of this is easy or fun is just… it's just ridiculous. Our son needs to know and he needs to prepare, and so do we."

"We've been preparing for months—you could argue, for years!"

"Not like this, Gahrye."

He paced the room at the end of the bed, raking his hands through his hair, his body, still thrumming from his orgasm, now vibrating with stress as well.

"Reece needs to be in a place where he fits," Gahrye growled. "He needs to be a place where he doesn't need to hide his gifts."

"He hides his gifts for your sake," Kalle said quietly.

"I know. That's entirely my point. He doesn't believe me when I tell him that I want to see him thrive, that I'd love to see him shift. He's still trying to tell me he's disformed. At this point I'm worried he's never learned control of his beast and if he ever loses his grip and shifts he's going to eat someone. He needs to be in Anima so they can help him."

"So tell him that."

"He'll refuse if I tell him that."

"Gahrye, you can't lie to him about this. He'll never forgive you."

"He won't need to."

Kalle's mouth dropped open. "You did not just say that."

Gahrye rolled his head on his neck. "I did," he said after a second, "But I didn't mean it."

Kalle crawled off the bed and came to stand in front of him, to stop his pacing. When he came to a halt at her toes she put her arms around his waist and stared up at him, tears in her eyes.

"We don't have much time. Whatever we do have… let's not spend it lying to each other, or leaving important things unsaid," she said, her voice husky and cracking.

Aching with grief, he buried his hands in her hair and pulled her into his chest, wrapping her, covering her, tucking her head under his chin and putting himself around her until he realized it was a futile effort.

This was coming for them. Worse, they were going to walk towards it. They'd agreed that from the very first day Gahrye heard the Creator on it. When he only suspected. When he hadn't even been sure…

They'd known even then that this day was coming and would require a choice. Much as he might want to, he couldn't keep her entirely separate from the world. Because they both had jobs to do. Jobs that the Creator had assigned them before they were born, but that they'd only discovered recently.

Jobs that would, most likely, end their lives.

Gahrye hadn't been lying when he told his son that the Creator was not a deceiver, that His needs and purposes were worth pursuing. That denying them only caused pain.

His son had no clue how deeply he had walked that path already. None.

But this was the beginning of the end, and now Gahrye faced the challenge to his own devotion, and his own parental desire to protect his son from the worst of life's pain.

He knew, without doubt, if he told Reece what they were planning, his son would refuse to join him in Anima.

He also knew Reece was hearing from the Creator directly, and trying to resist what he heard.

Gahrye shook his head and hugged Kalle closer. "I don't know what to do," he rasped. "All I know is that Reece needs to go with me. And when I leave, he needs to stay there. I'm going to trust the Creator to find the way to make that happen."

Kalle sighed and clung to him. "But what about me, Gahrye? I can't let him leave without saying goodbye."

Of course. He'd been so blind.

Gahrye's heart sank.