Taming the Queen of Beasts

Chapter 593 Remember

If you like music while you're reading, try "I Want You Here" by Plumb. Although the subject of the verse is a different kind of loss, the chorus in particular shows Reth & Elia's hearts in these scenes.

*****

ELIA

Everything that was happening in that moment faded away and Elia was transported back, in her mind, to the moment she'd met the Creator face to face. While her body threatened to leave this world, and her mate lost his mind, she'd stood before the most powerful heart in the universe.

He had kind eyes.

He'd stared down at her, his lips pulled into a gentle smile. "…Your greatest fear is the very gateway I made for your victory. Your beast is not your enemy, Elia. She is your strength. Use her. The voices told you she would destroy you because if they could keep you afraid you would never learn the strength I had given you."

Elia's heart began to race. Was he saying…?

But the vision, the memory, whatever it was, didn't stop.

Just like today, back then she'd questioned him. Challenged him when he said he'd given her what she needed. Feared the outcome of it. Not trusted his assurance that He would always take care of her.

And when she asked how she could trust that she wouldn't be lost because of His plan, he'd said, "…I won't let you. Have I let it happen yet?"

No, He hadn't. But there was a first time for everything… right? "How do I know you won't change your mind?" she'd asked.

His smile turned a little sad. "Because I told you so. But the truth is, this is a step you can only take in trust. Trust isn't the certainty of the outcome, Elia. It's the willingness to take the risk."

Those words had guided her so many times in her life since that day.

Trust isn't the certainty of the outcome… it's the willingness to take the risk.

Elia swallowed back more tears—she was so completely sick of crying!—and the vision changed one more time.

The Creator stared down at her warmly, his eyes earnest, and urging her to trust. "…You do not walk out of my hand, even when evil is near. You are never out of my hand. I see the evil near you far clearer than you can." Then He opened his arms and she fell into his chest—even larger, warmer, and broader than Reth's—He stroked her hair and whispered, "This is rest, just for a moment. Soon I will send you back and you'll have to face this. But I'm here to tell you, you can do this. I've given you everything you need to do this—and I will not leave you."

And as the vision faded, and Elia returned to Reth's arms, to his smell, to the cold morning and her body that felt as if it might finally give out from sheer exhaustion, Elia finally understood.

Her breath came easier, though the burden of grief weighed heavier. And in her mind, she made the same accusation she'd made that day. And received the same answer.

If I trust him to you, you might take him, she'd murmured.

One day I will have to. Whether you trust him to me or not, the Creator had replied.

Is that day today?

The day I take him is only the first day of the wait until you are joined in eternity forever.

Elia sagged in Reth's arms. Because she also knew she'd asked… she'd asked so many times that somehow, some impossible way, the Creator would never take him from her. That she would never have to walk a day in a world that didn't include him.

Was this the Creator saying no?

*****

RETH

He trembled and his arms locked around her. He didn't want to let go. She was battling something in her soul, he could feel it, and he was helpless. Every instinct within him wanted to fight, to bare teeth and claws and fight—to kill anything or anyone that threatened her.

But he couldn't take down the Creator Himself.

So he clung, tears seeping out from under his eyes shut so tight, holding Elia desperately as she began to sob. Great, body-shuddering sobs into his chest.

"Love, Love," he breathed, "What is it?"

"I know, Reth. I know how to…" But she only clung to him harder and his heart raced, pounding painfully—pounding erratically until it felt as if the top of his skull might pop off.

He swallowed back the twinge of pain in his chest, pleading with the Creator for just the next hour… whatever was needed. Whatever would get them through this. That was all he needed.

Finally, Elia pulled her head back to crane her neck up and meet his eyes, her own red and bloodshot, her lashes stuck together with tears.

"We have to be in our beasts, Reth. We'll find it. Scent it. I don't know. They have a sense for it. We'll find it if we take our beasts."

They stared at each other and he knew her heart was sinking just as his did.

Being in their beasts would separate them. As long as it took to find the portal, they would be together, their beasts united, but… they would be apart.

He stroked her cheek and her chin trembled. "The faster we do it… we might have some time when we get there?" she whispered.

Reth's heart gave a painful thump, but he nodded.

He dropped his forehead to hers letting their breaths mingle. She didn't drop his gaze, her eyes pleading and angry and full of so much love.Â

"I admire you, Elia," he said gruffly, his voice hoarse. "Even beyond my love for you… my heart salutes yours."

She shook her head, her face twisting. "You shouldn't. I'm… I hate this, Reth. I'm not noble about it. I know it has to be done, and I'm going to do it. But I don't want to. Nothing in me wants this."

"That's exactly why I admire you, Love," he said with a smile. "Because it's easy to be a hero when you're running after the prey you want. But walking into pain because it saves someone else? That's true heroism."

She shook her head but didn't argue again. He kissed her, tilting his head to align all of their lips and tasting her again, and again. She whimpered into the kiss but didn't pull him tighter. And he understood because their hearts were aligned.

They both knew that this was no longer a time for drawing closer, but a time to begin letting go.

He whispered his love to her as he did just that, stepping back to put space between them, then giving over to his beast in the same heartbeat that his beautiful mate shifted.

And as they did, a breeze blew up from the mountain, as if the sun itself, rising behind the pillar of stone and dirt, breathed on them.Â

Elia's beast raised her head, her nostrils flaring. Then her eyes flashed, her pupils dilating. She turned, her tail whipping behind her as she gathered herself on her haunches, then shot up directly up the mountainside.

And from deep within his beast, Reth's pride in her surged. He let her take the lead, then with a purr in his throat, urged his beast forward, to her side.Â

He would not leave her by choice.Â

Ever.Â