Taming the Queen of Beasts

Chapter 616 Saying Goodbye

If you like music while you read, try "The Other Side" by Ruelle. It's what I was listening to while writing this!

*****

ELRETH

"How?" she cried. "What…? I thought you were dead! I couldn't imagine—"

"Hollhye and I were traveling in the weeks before the earthquake. We've had… some grief of our own and it was a time just to rest together and make some decisions. If the messengers came, they found our home deserted. We didn't know. Then right after we got home the earthquake occurred and our tree was damaged. We've been working. Just… Elreth I didn't know. This has all happened and I wasn't here, and I didn't know. I didn't get to say goodbye, I just…" He dropped his head into his hands and Elreth's stomach wanted to turn.

"Please don't cry, Uncle Behryn," she whispered.

He shook his head and sucked in a deep breath, pulling himself together. "I'm so sorry, El. You shouldn't have had to face this alone. They told me… they told me when we arrived what… what Reth and Elia did and I just… I had to come see you and…"

Elreth flinched, but nodded, swallowing hard. "Thank you. Have you, um, talked to Gar yet?"

"No," Behryn whispered. "I had to come here and be here because… he's still here," Behryn said hoarsely, looking around the room. "For me, anyway. He's still here. Both of them…"

"I know, me too."

They stared at each other for a long moment, grief zipping between them like shared energy, but Elreth found she could breathe just a little bit easier, because Behryn didn't want to tell her it was okay, or she was going to be fine, or how well she was doing. He just wanted to be sad with her and that… helped.

Then he took another deep breath. "And Aaryn—"

"Please don't," she breathed, flinching.

Behryn nodded, then reached for her and pulled her into his chest. She covered her face with her hands as he held her and it was a little bit like her father—not quite as broad, his voice not quite as deep. But to Elreth, Behryn's scent was mingled with her family since her youngest years. And even though they hardly saw him anymore… there was something safe about him being there.

She was glad none of the others were there. She would be glad to see Hollhye when the time came, but she was so fragile just then. She needed to be quiet.

And apparently, she needed to be held.

She didn't see it coming. Didn't feel the dam threatening to break. But as she slid her arms around her father's best friend's chest, something within her broke open and the cry that erupted came from the bottom of her soul.

She clung to him, hands clawed, her face buried in his chest, and he held her, so tightly, curled his arms around her just as her father had done, whispering in her ear.

That he loved her.

That her parents loved her.

That her mate loved her.

That she would never be alone.

He didn't try to tell her to stop. He didn't try to paint a better picture. He just fed her soul with the truth: The people who had always loved her most in the world were gone. But she wasn't alone.

She felt Behryn break too, his shoulders shaking in single, shuddering bursts at different times. She cried so hard she couldn't even speak, wetting his shirt with her tears and her snot. But he didn't care.

He didn't care.

He understood and he held her and he didn't care.

And it was exactly what Elreth needed.

"Thank you…. thank you…" she sobbed as he gently walked her over to the couch in the Great Room and they sank into it together.

But he just shushed her and held her and let her keep crying.

*****

Elreth didn't know how long they sat there together, how long it took for her sobs to become shuddering breaths, for her breathing to ease. But at some point she found herself sitting on the couch, her head leaned against Behryn's arm, and their hands clasped.

"El," he rasped quietly, "I vowed to your father years ago—before you were born. Even before your parents mated… we were brothers. And his family is my family. I want you to know that I'm here now. I'm not leaving. Whatever you need… I'm here."

Elreth sat back to stare at him. "But… Hollhye… you guys were—"

Behryn sighed and shook his head. "I read the winds, Elreth. I've been able to feel the shift in this world for months. I didn't know what was causing it, but I knew danger was coming. That was part of why we traveled because I knew I was needed here and I was resisting it. I'm so sorry. If I'd known… I just… I battled with it because we were as happy as we could be without… without our own family. But even Hollhye… when we decided to come back, she realized I was struggling and she told me that… anyway, we're here," he said, his face dragging for the floor. "And we aren't leaving."

Elreth hugged him again. "Thank you." Her tears threatened to spill over again—she was so sick of crying! "Thank you."

"I'm so sorry, El. I miss them, too. I wish… I wish I'd done so many things differently."

"Me too," she said honestly. "But we can't go back, right?"

"Accept the things you cannot change," he whispered, nodding, both of them thinking of her father.

"I'm really glad you're here, Behryn. And Hollhye, too. We need you. Just to feel better, we need you."

He gave a watery smile and tousled her hair like he used to when she was a child. "You say that now…" he said with a wink, though the smile didn't reach his eyes.

Elreth snorted.

They sat both staring at the carpet on the floor, and talked. About her parents. About the stupid things, Behryn and her father had done when they were Elreth's age. About all the ways her mother had put her father in his place. About how much like them Elreth and Gar were… And even though it felt like the hole her parent's left in this world was a yawning chasm that could never be filled, remembering with Behryn felt good. As if a piece of that hole had somehow closed.

As if the rest would be more manageable. Because they weren't really gone when they were remembered.