The Alliance Marriage Went Wrong

Chapter 369 - I'm Ashamed Of Myself

A few days passed and Iria was back to the camp of the Petrus Army. Orius already sent a soldier to inform the King about the war and Arin Helev already heard everything.

When Iria reached the camp, she walked straight to Arin's tent and find him sitting on the bed. Antony and General Hanson were with him but when they saw her, the two men walked out of the tent right away.

Though Arin was looking in her direction with a calm smile on his face, Iria stood still near the entrance and narrowed her eyes.

Arin Helev already saw through her. When he heard what happened from the soldier, he was worried. However, there was nothing he could do but wait. Even now, he didn't say anything and waited for her to walk closer.

Spending more than a minute to collect herself, Iria finally walked closer and sat beside Arin on the bed. Nevertheless, she still didn't say anything while Arin quietly stared at her. Still maintaining her silence, she lie down on the bed and placed her head on Arin's lap.

Arin Helev covered her with the blanket and gently tapped her on the arm.

Right now, he was the one who knew her the best and... he was well aware of how she would be affected by the death of Zaro Aventine. Not to mention that he took his life right before her eyes!

"Do you think I'm strange?" Iria suddenly asked him. "I spent more than a year waiting for this but... I'm not happy at all. I succeed but... I don't feel good."

"You shared the memories of 20 years with him," Arin Helev said. "It won't be humane if you're not affected at all."

Iria recalled how she always tried her best to keep Zaro Aventine safe. Even when he will be traveling somewhere, be it inside or outside Jerivia, she was always the one who arranged his security. She would select her most capable soldiers to ensure his safety and if possible, she always accompanied him.

She worked that much to keep him safe but... that was how it ended.

"That was bound to happen, Iria," Arin said to her. "Ever since your ties broke a year ago, everything was supposed to end only by the death of either one of you. And you know I will never allow you to be the one facing that fate."

As if she was surprised by what he said, Iria met Arin's gaze for a while. During this time, Arin Helev noticed the sadness and pain in her eyes.

How much did she hold herself back?

"Did I worry you again?" Iria finally asked, surprising Arin.

"It's fine, Iria," he said with a hint of confusion on his face. "Don't think of that and say whatever you want to say. I'm right here."

Iria turned away and remained quiet as if she was thinking of something. Then she shut her eyes. "I want to rest like this," she said in a low voice.

Though she seemed to be feeling a bit better, the King still felt uneasy.

"It must be hard for you to conceal everything while you were with the soldiers," he muttered. "But you don't have to do the same while you're with me. I'm your husband and I'm willing to share your pain, no matter what the reason is."

Iria listened to him with her eyes opened and when she shut her eyes, a tear rolled down the side of her face.

He was right.

Holding back herself for days tormented her much more than one could imagine!

"I'm ashamed of myself," she whispered in a very low voice. "If I was the one dying, do you think he will even care about it? He always wanted me dead."

If King Tobias didn't die that night, will Zaro Aventine be still alive now?

How will their relationship be like and... will he still be that kind and reliable friend he once used to be for her?

Even now, the way he used to take care of her occupied her mind. However...

What's the use of thinking? He was already dead!

Arin Helev recalled how Zaro Aventine took his own life and said, "I don't think that will be the case, Iria. Maybe he always regret his actions but didn't show it because he was convinced that nothing could be changed now. He also had a lot of responsibilities in his hand."

His words reminded Iria of how Zaro Aventine said that he was sorry while they were at Vialand. It made her narrow her eyes. "He once said that he was sorry," she muttered. "But I never gave him the chance to apologize properly. Maybe because I know that I won't be able to forgive him. Rion's blood doesn't allow me that."

Thinking of what she said, Arin forced a little smile. "You stayed strong till the end. I'm proud of you, Iria."

Iria looked up at him and took a deep breath. "I was in such a hurry to return and I think it pays off. You always know how to handle my complicated thoughts."

Arin Helev smiled and caressed her hair. "I'm always glad that you are willing to show me your weakness that you never let others see. It reminds me that I'm special in your life."

He wasn't just special in her life but he was her life. This was what crossed Iria's mind and she finally flashed a small smile. Then the decision she made crossed her mind. "I'm sorry, Arin. I should have talked with you about not conquering Jerivia but -"

"You're the Commander-in-chief for this war," he said, interrupting her from saying more. "I accept whatever you decide. So, don't mind me." With a smile, he admitted, "You're much better than me in military affairs anyway. I should rely on you more from now on."

Much to his surprise, Iria shook her head. "Not me. Morin said that after this war, we can rely on him. He said that he will be the one fighting a war while we rest in the palace."

Arin Helev blinked. "Morin said that?"

Iria nodded with a little smile.. "It seems like our Qalagon will be having another great warrior soon."