The Beautiful Monster

Chapter 234 - Not Fine

Elias frowned as he looked away from her. He didn't see his plan as pushing her away. He saw it as saving her in the best way that he knew how.

He obviously wasn't strong enough to protect her that way. Getting her out of the way was the best solution that he could think of.

"You don't understand… I can't let you get killed. I can't take it," he said, wishing that she would just understand.

If she died, his entire soul would shatter. He could feel it already starting to crack.

Alyssa placed her hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at her.

"There are some things that you can't control. I will be by your side because we're a team. I don't run and hide. Not anymore," she told him firmly. "And you don't give up."

Elias found himself leaning into her touch, his eyes shutting. He wished that they could disappear, slip away into their own reality. Why did they have to be stuck here?

"It seems so easy," he murmured.

"We don't do what's easy. We do what's right," Alyssa reminded him as she pushed her hand into his hair. "Everything is going to be fine in the end."

Elias opened his eyes and suddenly kissed her, placing his hand on the back of her neck to hold her close. He heard her gasp in surprise, but their lips soon moved together, finding a rhythm.

He needed to kiss her, to remind himself of what he could lose. He had to do something about this situation, even if it was considered crazy.

Alyssa placed her hand on his chest, leaning into the kiss for a few moments before pulling away. She frowned at him.

"Elias, please," she said. "Don't think like this."

Elias could tell that he was making her worried. That was the last thing that he wanted to do, but he had to take matters into his own hands.

What they had been doing hadn't been working, so he was going to try something different. Something crazy.

"I'm not. I just… miss you. I miss our life," he told her as he brushed his fingers through her hair. He forced a smile onto his face. "I know things will work out how they need to."

Alyssa's frown wavered as she nodded. She moved to lay her head on his chest, cuddling close to his side.

"They will. You have to believe in that," she told him.

Elias rubbed her back, taking a few moments to soak in every detail. He took in her soft skin, the sweet scent of her hair, the calming lull of her voice.

He never wanted to forget these details. He wanted to remember them until the very end, whether that was soon or not. He had to be prepared either way.

"Are you going back to work after all this?" he asked her, changing the conversation. He didn't know when they would get to talk like this again, and he wanted to take advantage of the time that they had now. Who knew how long it would last?

Alyssa remained quiet for a second. She was either thinking about her answer or wondering why he randomly asked her that.

"Maybe. I really like practicing a little magic, though. Maybe I can integrate that with my medical knowledge," she replied, sounding thoughtful.

"And practice that at the hospital?" Elias asked her, wondering what she was thinking of doing. He was glad that she wanted to still use herbs and lower level spells.

She had a knack for healing. She was born to do it, and she was obviously meant to do it in multiple capacities as well.

"Oh no. They would never allow that. Maybe I could open my own practice," Alyssa replied with a small shrug. "It's just a thought."

"I think that's an incredible idea. You should do that," Elias said encouragingly. He wanted her to do something that she was passionate about, and he could tell that this would be a fun adventure for her.

Plus, he wanted her to have something to put her mind on in case things went south with his plan. He hoped that he could be around to watch her clinic flourish.

"Really?" Alyssa asked. He could hear the smile in her voice.

"I love the idea," Elias confirmed as he rubbed her back. She would be able to help so many people in different capacities, and he knew that she wasn't the only one who could use lower level magic like that.

There were self-proclaimed witches all over the world who weren't actually witches, but they could practice a little if they believed in what they were doing and using it for good.

"Thank you," Alyssa said sincerely.

Elias hoped that she made her idea happen. He hoped that the rest of her life was better than how things were going now. She deserved it. She deserved to be happy and to feel fulfilled in her life.

She didn't deserve to be running around because of a problem that wasn't hers. This was his and Melina's problem, but he didn't want Melina to suffer at the hands of Alaric any longer.

"I love you, Alyssa," he murmured, leaning over to press a gentle kiss against the top of her head.

He wished that he could tell her that a million times right now, but one time would have to suffice.

She would have to feel all the love that he wanted to give her in that one phrase.

Alyssa nuzzled her cheek against his chest as she smiled.

"I love you," she said.

"We should get some rest," Elias told her as he petted her head, lulling her. She couldn't be awake for what he wanted to do.

She would just try to stop him, and he couldn't let her do that. No matter what she said or did, he was doing this, and she would just have to try to understand.

"Okay," Alyssa said as she pulled the blanket over their bodies. She traced her fingers along his chest, settling against him. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Elias replied. His throat threatened to close up as he spoke, but he forced the word out.

He cleared his throat, trying to sound like he was fine, even if he wasn't. Honestly, he was far from fine. Maybe things would be okay soon, though.. Maybe.