The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 130: Mud Wrestling

Chapter 130: Mud Wrestling

In the frozen dungeon once called The Pit of the Butcher, most of the creatures were hibernating or dead and frozen, victims of the magic that once held the city in stasis and was slowly leaking away. Runt had avoided that same fate by way of his unique status as a minion.

The same skills that made him forgettable, unnoticed, and part of the background had also fooled the spells that affected everyone else. An unfortunate part of Runt spending a few centuries on his own, had been developing the bad habit of talking to himself. As he trudged down the long street leading from the front gates to the center of the city, he unconsciously continued that habit.

"Well, at least the new Baron can build a straight road. I remember this path having zigs and zags nearly every block. And potholes! We used to catch fish in some of them." Carrying on his lonely monologue he passed through the city gates and came to a peculiar crater. After examining the crater, the spots where the monoliths had stood, and the melted stone where Leroy had stood next to Ben's contraption, he scratched his head and let out a long whistle.

"Boss fight. Had to be. Big magics and one ugly bastard killed the other and made him go Boom! Hope both of them stay downstairs for a hell of a long time. If the Butcher had been awake, he'd have been right in the middle of that fight."

He continued down the road, using his cane to steady himself on his peg-leg. He could actually move quite fast, but it helped for his bosses to think of him as slower. Low expectations made for easier job assignments and less chance of being noticed. Not that he'd had many assignments lately, but that was all going to change soon. Everybody would wake up and he'd be running errands for Gristle, counting up the meat, bone and fat for Tallyman, serving the feasts, stirring pots, cleaning dishes, and mopping out the dungeon when the blood got too sticky.

"Either we need a hell of a lot more minions in that town, or I need to find someone powerful to work for who will tell the others to screw off. Maybe the Baron needs a court jester? That would be an upgrade. Well, until I killed someone for laughing at me. Ok, not a good idea. Maybe a cook or doorman? Place looked kind of empty."

Coming into Sedgewick he slowed and looked at the buildings carefully, "What the hell? Did the Druids freeze the town too? Looks like nothing’s even changed." Runt had only been down to the old Sedgewick a few times, but fondly remembered the tavern with the good dark beer, "I wonder if the tavern is still there? Have to check it out."

He found the Butcher Shop in the same place it was before, "Damn, this guy has no idea of what he's doing. No sausages hanging up, no chunks of raw meat aging in the front window, I don't even see a side of beef hanging back there. Maybe the town is just reopening? He's got to have more stuff inside. Is he keeping all the sausage makings in the basement?" Banging on the door, no one answered.

Hearing noise, he went through the alley, and from there could see several people down by the corrals, yelling and carrying on, "Hope to hell one of these yokels knows where their butcher is. Hard to impress the Baron when you screw up the first job he gives you."

As it turned out, Runt didn't even have to ask. It was readily apparent that he'd found the butcher of this little town, "Huh. Didn't expect to find the town butcher rolling around in the mud with a cow. Is he that bad at slaughtering them?"

Two men and a woman were watching the spectacle. What looked like some sort of duelist turned towards Runt. From the way one of his eyes moved, Runt was pretty certain he'd been noticed. He needed to break that talking habit.

"Oh, he figured out a few ways to kill them. That's his idea of having fun. The bull enjoys it, too, especially when he's winning like he is now." He turned back to watching the butcher trying vainly to control the fight as the cow trampled him into the mud. Eventually the big bull gave a loud 'Moo', flicked its tail and wandered back to the other side of the large corral where a couple of cows and a calf were also standing.

The butcher snapped his fingers, dispelling all the mud and grime, but not the bruises to his face (or ego), and walked over to the group, "Your turn, Suzette."

Suzette climbed slowly into the corral, "If you didn't have that cantrip to clean me up, I'd never be doing this. Shit! There has got to be another way to get a strength-based skill."

As is often the case, the people on the other side of the fence have all sorts of helpful advice. Ben offered his, "I'm sure there is. But Ozzy found this one for the rest of us and we need to take advantage of all of them. Give it a go. That poor heifer is just as scared of you as you are of it."

The younger of the two cows did indeed look unsure of the situation, but Thumper gave her a push and she moved towards Suzette, and then ran at her. Suzette dodged to the side nimbly and got her arms around the cows neck. After that, she didn't know what to do. With her 0 STR and willowy body, the cow barely knew she was there. After the heifer trotted around the yard a couple of times, she got dumped in the mud on her ass.

"I hate this, Ozzy." She stood up an flung a clod of dirt at him.

Ozzy looked over at his choices, "Maybe we should try the calf."

The next few rounds went a bit better. The small calf still outweighed her, but only being a few days old, it wasn't too stable on its legs. The calf won the first two rounds, dragging Suzette through the muddy corral, but then she got the hang of it and won three times in a row. Something, somewhere decided to reward her.

Through perseverance against a 'mighty foe' you have gained the skill: Calf Wrestling.

Calf Wrestling is a STR based skill.

There was mild applause as the muddy woman stood up, and made the announcement about the skill. "Ha! Look at me. Only a few hundred more rounds and I'll be arm wrestling Ozzy. And taking you down too, Thumper!"

It's debatable whether or not Thumper actually knew what Suzette was saying. But he certainly knew he'd been challenged. Blowing out a gust of air from his nose, he charged at Suzette. For those watching, everything seemed to slow. Ben and Ozzy started to jump the fence, Rolly was yelling at the Bull, and Suzette stared as he bore down on her. Ozzy knew he wouldn't make it in time.

Suzette timed his approach and leaped on top of the bull, took a step towards his back, and leaped off, turning a complete flip in the air. Thumper continued on until he figured out there was nothing in front of him. The big bull turned at the sound of his name.

"Oh, Thumper! Looking for me? Over here," Suzette was waving from the other side of the corral.

Ozzy and Ben looked at each other, shrugged, and climbed off the fence. Rolly yelled out to Suzette, "By the horns this time, and flip." After a moment of puzzlement, she understood him. Thumper turned and charged back at her, moving even faster. Suzette ran at him and leaped, arms outstretched to grab his horns. Ozzy caught his breath as Thumper flipped his head up to catch her on a horn. Instead, the bull just gave upward momentum as she brought her legs up in the air, pushed with her arms and soared over him. Again, she completed a full flip and a landing.

Round and round the corral they went, Thumper charging and Suzette flipping over him, running over him, and once, landing and riding him while he turned and turned, not knowing where she went. Eventually with a snort of disgust the bull turned, gathered his flock and moved out into the pasture.

Rolly ran and gave the muddy girl a hug, "That was awesome. Maybe we can find a minotaur for next time."

Ozzy was less enthusiastic, "Ok, so tell me what was that all about?"

Suzette cocked her head, "Easy. I was earning a new skill." She shared the announcement.

Why wrestle in the mud when you can soar like an eagle? As did the ancient athletes of Minoan legend, you have learned the skill: Bull Leaping.

Bull Leaping is an AGI based skill.

If you have to take the bull by the horns, it's a lot better to end up behind it than staying in front.

Ozzy blinked a couple of times, "Aw, shit."

Suzette smiled evilly at him, "That's right. We found an AGI skill for you to learn. I'm sure Thumper will help."

"Excuse me, sir, can we talk? The Baron sent me. He needs your help. Sort of an emergency." Ozzy turned to find an odd-looking boy tugging at his apron to get his attention. Ozzy wasn't sure what was odd about the stocky boy, but something didn't seem to be right.

"What sort of emergency?" He quickly cleaned Suzette up with his cantrip.

"Well, it's somewhere between 'Oh shit, is that a Dragon?' and 'Crap. We're all dead, the town is destroyed, and someone is eating your corpse'. How’s that? Now can we get moving?"

"Ok, that's worth taking a trip to see what has Billy's knickers in a knot. Let's go."

"Damn, seriously. Do you need help?" Ben wasn't liking the sound of things.

Runt yelled back, "Nothing you can help with, horse-boy, this is butcher business."

Ozzy started running, the boy with the cane easily keeping pace. Ben looked at them go, "That boy is a strange one, wonder where Billy found him."

Rolly nodded, "He has a way with words though. I like him."