The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 361: Disproving Bernie's Hypothesis

Chapter 361: Disproving Bernie's Hypothesis

Ben was mildly surprised when he appeared in mid-air inside a glowing blue energy globe. The drop to the floor was almost six feet and unexpected, but he managed to make a decent landing. You never knew who was watching. He stood on a square stone platform that looked suspiciously similar to a teleport platform. Around him were six tall, metal pylons tipped with glowing crystals whose function seemed to be maintaining the blowing blue ball he'd fallen from. The air stank of ozone and machine oil, which wasn't surprising, considering where he found himself.

If Dr. Frankenstein had an insane older brother in the same line of business, this might have been his laboratory. Half-built and half-burnt machinery was piled against one wall to make room for six large tables in the center. Papers and books shared space with chemistry experiments. The lab's only occupant was asleep in a chair, with a wine bottle, and half a cold roasted chicken on the table before him. Moving silently to avoid disturbing the fellow's nap, Ben looked at him. A bald head and long handlebar mustache gave his face a villainous cast, but he was a handsome man, maybe 30 years old, who looked enough like Ben to be his brother or cousin. His lab coat was stylish and made of blue leather with a high collar and a double row of brass buttons down the front. A pair of matching gloves sat on the table. With the gloves off, Ben could look at the fellow's hands and spotted a signet ring with a familiar crest. Shrugging, he decided that it wasn't stealing if it was within the family, poured himself a beaker full of wine to drink, and slid the open book to his side of the table. The diagrams were insanely complex and made no sense, so he went to the first page and started this volume from the beginning. Three hours later, sleeping beauty was still snoring; he'd finished the wine and the cold chicken and had read through the book. The diagrams were making more sense. It was all about knowing the person's style behind the drawings, and he'd seen this person's work before.

With a loud snort, the snoring stopped; the figure stirred and sat up, stretching with his eyes closed. He opened them to see Ben, feet on the table, the book in his lap, and the last of the wine being poured down his throat. The man leaped to his feet, looking around to see who else might have invaded his lab, and, seeing no one, relaxed slightly.

"Well, I know you aren't with the Inquisition. They wouldn't send just one man after me and have more sense than to steal my dinner. So, who are you working for, and what cryptic message are you going to pass on to me? Or is it a threat? Perhaps a job? I don't work cheap, but I do work fast, and if you aren't happy with the job, you'll still be impressed by my work. Or would you like a job? It's a crafty person that can find Jacob Jonah Jacobian and sneak up on him."

Ben laughed. "Jacob Jonah Jacobian, is it? Nice alliteration for a spur-of-the-moment alias. Or is that what you're calling yourself now, Damien?"

"Drat and double drat. You have me at a disadvantage, sir. I haven't the foggiest notion of who you are or how you got into my sealed lab. Hell's bells! Are the doors still open? I lost the key to the main door and hated to tear apart a good trap almost as much as I'd hate taking all the voltage. Why aren't you a pile of ashes, by the way?"

Ben stood and bowed. "I was lucky enough to avoid your traps entirely by arriving through your teleporter array. Surprising, since I was expecting to be someplace else entirely."

Damien Franklin spun to stare at his machinery. "What? It worked? HA! OF COURSE IT WORKED! They said that the time barrier couldn't be breached, but by all the gods that I've pissed off and pissed on, it worked!"

"A time machine? Not a teleporter? Well, that explains why half of the variables in your book seem to be off. That little crossed squiggle must represent the temporal variable distance and not the horizontal. I was wondering about that."

"What? You shouldn't be able to understand my writing at all! That's my personal code." He looked hard at Ben, then looked again. "Oh my, one of the family? Or something more? Your aura is not what I would have expected unless..." he grabbed Ben's hand suddenly, revealing the signet ring Ben had been concealing. It was a match for the one on Damien's finger. Damien Franklin laughed and touched the rings together. With a thunderous boom! Both men were hurled away from each other, landing on the floor, half-deafened and stunned.

Damien looked at Ben. "Congratulations, my future self. We've just disproved Bernie's hypothesis that an object and its temporal twin coming into contact would destroy the timestream and hurl the world into the void. I always told Bernie he was an idiot, but the old master loved him best. But enough of that for now! I'm sure you have fond memories of him. Obviously, I've managed to reincarnate myself into the main branch of the line and take the progenitor's name. Who are you, Ben the 9th? The 10th?"

Ben shook his head to clear the lingering effects of science. "The 7th, actually, things are a little more complicated than that. Is that actually a time machine?"

Damien dusted himself off, pulled a bottle of wine from a rack, and pulled out the cork with his teeth. "I need a drink. Care for some? One of the last bottles I have of fortified cherry brandy from Gadobhra. Ah, now that was a city. Too bad it's locked tighter than a witch in the Tower."

Ben accepted a glass and was grateful for his newly increased poison resistance. The stuff was fruity, burned like rubbing alcohol, and sent fumes straight to his brain. "Wow, that stuff is strong. You could use it to clean rust off of an old sword."

Damien looked sad. "It's true, and that's why I have so little left! The rest of the family learned how well it worked for cleaning armor and stole most of it. It's like will not be seen again. They made it in the old poison works. Those were the only fermenters and distilleries that could handle the Choking Cherries from the north forest. Bad fruit, kill you on the first chew, but they make great brandy."

"You wouldn't happen to have the recipe, would you?"

Damien's eyes narrowed. "Oh, ho! Is the recipe lost in the future? Here, let me write out a copy for you then. But you have to trade me. Tell me of something you/I do in the future."

"Well, for starters, I opened up the seal on Gadobhra and unlocked the city."

"WHAT? Dear god, man, how? Crap...even if I know how I can't do it. Temporal Dysfunction would make me fail...Damn the System and it's reality-preserving rules. Tell me anyway; I'm too curious."

"Well, do you remember writing a book with the false title of Beetles, Chiggers, Cutworms, and Flies found in the Southern Provinces? I had a small adventure along with another member of the family. The reward from the chest was that book. It was disappointing at the time, but once I opened up the lock, I found it contained basic theories on magitech, the signet ring, and a small trove of components. I used them to construct a variation on the machine you used to steal back the heroic powers stolen by some mad god...

"Oooooh, that sounds fun. I'm making a note to write that book. Mad god, you say? Can you sketch the machine you used?

"Hmm, I could, but wouldn't that cause some sort of temporal loop?"

Damien's considered. "I'm not sure. Are temporal loops real? Are we in one now? Surely something is off about this; let me ponder while you continue."

"Right, well, the theory was to create a feedback loop with the stones hitting themselves after they attacked a brawny friend of mine who was holding two cables connected to the ring of warding stones. I'll never know if it would have worked. One of the Fallen decided to interfere, grabbed the cables, and lit himself up like the sun, blowing the tops off the larger warding stones and knocking himself senseless."

Damien was taking notes. "Damn. Hard to replicate that? What happened to the Fallen?"

"He made the mistake of threatening a young lady, and my burly buddy picked up the gate stone and slammed it on his head."

Damien paused. "I'm finding that hard to believe. You shouldn't be here. That explosion should have been catastrophic."

"Oh, it was, believe me. It blew my friend to Hades, destroyed the body of the Fallen, and would have killed me if there hadn't been a god standing between us. The young lady I mentioned is a priestess of Hermes, and I found out later from her that we lived because he took the hit and protected us. But, long and short of it, Gadobhra is open, and we're running the poison works as a distillery."

Damien handed Ben the recipe for the Cherry Brandy. "Your story fills me with hope that I will once again taste a fresh bottle of my favorite vintage. What else are we up to."

"I'm looking for you so you can help me build a new teleport stone for Gadobhra."

"Looking for me? That's impossible. Are you implying my assumption that you are my temporal successor is incorrect? My machine would not latch on to someone not connected to me. You aren't a descendant unless that curse from raiding a temple of Eileithyia has worn off. Wouldn't that be inconvenient?"

Ben stored away the recipe and winked at Damien. "What about an ancestor? Before I came to this world, I went by Ben the 3rd."

"Bullshit. Wait? Really? How the hell does any of that make sense? Harmonia met 3rd when she was newly created and long before she came to this world. That would be...damn, are the speeds that time passes equal?"

"Not even close. I met Harmonia less than two decades ago, and I'm still trying to figure out how she transferred an item from Endless Questing to Genesis."

Damien was getting an odd look on his face. "You know? About the artifact? Her pride and joy. She won't let me use it. I was so upset as a child. The 3rd you say? And now the 7th. Not me, looking for me in your own time. If nothing else, I shall spend the next decade working on the theory behind this. But now I'm wondering why you are here. Something as twisted as this would only come from the System and, more likely, the Engine or one of the gods intervening. What were you doing before this?"

Ben decided he needed a refill of the brandy; this was going to be a long story. "Well, it started with killing ghouls in a dungeon to find the remains of the Gadobhra teleport stone....

An hour later, they had finished that bottle, a second one, and Ben was just finishing up. "Blue boxes were scrolling. I got a glimpse of home, and then I was hanging in midair in your magical blue ball."

"Science!"

"Eh?"

"I do science. Magic is for wizards!"

"What's the difference?

"Well, if it's science, you have to use big words like temporal, synchronization, apparatus, techno-fusion, and quantum energy. If you're a wizard, it's all aspects, mana-inversions, timey-wimey-magic, and making up silly words to short out."

Ben nodded. "But other than that?"

Damien sighed. "But other than that, sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from the higher forms of magic, and vice versa. Much of it is just math when you get down to it and the method you use to warp reality."

Ben raised his glass. "To Science!"

Damien echoed him, then said, "Hmm, and maybe we shout a little too. It's hard to be quiet when doing advanced science. But you mentioned a teleport stone for Gadobhra. I don't mind contributing to that. He slid a bag of magic-tech components and tools to Ben. "Take these and the book you've half read. If you understand even part of it, you'll pick it up eventually. Just watch that temporal variable. And I think I know why you're here. The Engine gave you some options, didn't it? You're a Legend now, and it will pin something on you. Trust me, I've been there myself a couple of times. Legends are tricky things, and you have to be careful. What options is it giving you?"

Ben scanned the various boxes and showed Damien.

The Dashing Hero

Arriving in the nick of time, you have rescued peasants and paladins, fought demons and spirit wolves, and now you've saved a poor maiden from the horrors of the Fae and returned an injured Fae Prince to his lands. With a fast horse, a pointy sword, and a fist full of fire, you can build your Legend as a hero who races the length and width of the empire, looking to right wrongs and save the day. Your sword will do double damage vs. bosses and foes of a higher tier. Your favorite mount is twice as fast. Your teeth are perfect and white, sparkling when you smile or laugh at an enemy.

And Luck is on your side.

The Burning Flame

The Ghouls, the Fae, and the Demons have felt the touch of the godly fire you have summoned. Word spreads that you will not abide evil and will burn it from the world.

Your growing reputation paves the way wherever you travel and creates unrealistic expectations of what you will do. But with a fierce will, you shall find the greater evil that needs burning and leave the mundane evil to lesser heroes.

When facing creatures of the Dark, Daemons, Devils, Fallen, Undead, Mostly Dead, Bullies, Tax Evaders, Despots, Tyrants, Jaywalkers, Nobility, and anything else you perceive as evil, your flames will do extra damage.

You don't need to worry about figuring out who is evil and who isn't. Who better to judge than yourself?

Damien's Heir

He isn't dead yet, but you've already taken his signet ring, pajamas, and his bedroom in Franklin House. Don't feel bad; if he's smart (and he is), he won't risk Harmonia's wrath by returning. But why stop there? Embrace the insanity of the Franklins and carry on Damien's legacy of invention, exploration, and destruction. Gain personal instruction from your favorite Uncle (if you can find him), an assortment of his favorite books and journals, and a map to one of his favorite places to steal spare parts.

Skill: Inventor is changed to Skill: Mad Scientist. Gain plans for Rocket Boots and the formula for Cataclysmite.

The Legend you pick will determine your Class in Tier 4 (and possibly beyond).

Damien snorted. "Well, the last one is obviously the best. Especially if what this message implies is true. I expect you found the small lab. Make sure not to let the rats mutate too much. And, if nothing else, that part about 'Godly Fire' convinces me you aren't my future incarnation. Like anyone would be insane enough to trust me with Godfire!"

He paused, then continued in a more serious vein. "You were sent here for advice, just as another advised me. I feel the little mechanical hands of the Engine pushing you in the directions it thinks will

make you the most interesting. The choices are fairly basic: You can be Hero, answering an endless series of quests to free captives, rescue maidens, and end wars. Or a Paladin or Inquisitor, seeking out evil and passing judgment. Or follow in my footsteps. You have the most freedom doing crazy things, I'll tell you that. I'm still unsure if I'm a hero or a villain, and I've rescued my fair share of maidens and stopped some evil without needing the permission of a god. But you will fail a lot on my path. I know so many ways not to do things."

Then he threw back his head and laughed. "But I have fun! There, that's my advice."

Damien became silent, and Ben pondered his words. Without warning, the blue globe of science exploded, blowing Ben somewhere else.

"Such an interesting fellow. I wonder when I will meet him again?"