The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 415: Too Many Hands Making the Sausage Means Someone is Losing Fingers.

Chapter 415: Too Many Hands Making the Sausage Means Someone is Losing Fingers.

Ozzy was up early the next morning, long before dawn. Sneaking down the stairs, he grabbed a loaf of bread from the kitchen and started to head out the door to the butcher shop. An angry voice stopped him and he heard someone coming down the stairs from above. "How many times have I told you? No eating my fresh loaves. If you're hungry, I'll cook you a proper meal!"

Ozzy stopped moving, as ordered. Emelda entered the room, expecting to see one of her children stealing a snack. Instead, she saw Ozzy standing still, half out the door, with a half-eaten loaf of her bread in his hands. She didn't pause as you stalked toward him and took the bread out of his hands. She pointed to the table and said, "Sit!" Ozzy sat.

"If you're part of the family, you obey the rules. If you have time to snack, you have time for a proper meal. And don't you dare say you didn't want to trouble me. Cooking is what I do, whether you sit in the dining room as a customer, or in my kitchen for a quick breakfast."

She snapped her fingers and a cast iron stove next to the hearth roared to life. Her hands moved so fast that Ozzy couldn't follow what she was doing. Eggs, chopped peppers and onions, potatoes, and chunks of ham flew into a huge frying pan heating on the stove. Two minutes later, a six-egg omelet and spicy fried potatoes appeared on his plate, along with slices of toasted bread with butter and jam.

"Sorry, ma'am."

She smiled at him. "Accepted, and don't worry about it, this once. Just understand that I take pride in feeding my family. And that includes you, now. From the look of you, that little bit will get you going, but I'll send over the girls with more in a couple of hours."

Ozzy thanked her again and headed for his new butcher shop, still amazed at how fast and skilled Emelda was. But that only made sense. She probably had special skills or a class similar to Betty or Granya. Those two were scary when they started cooking. And he'd watched Myrna cook, as she trained him to grill.

He went over everything he could think of, making lists of jobs for the boys to take care of. He planned to leave money with Vassily. His new friend would pay it out as jobs were finished. Having someone trustworthy to do that was invaluable, as was his knowledge of local contractors. And having one of the boys overseeing the construction meant things should get done right.

He thought again of the puzzle of the tunnel beneath this building. If Ben were here, he'd insist they go explore, but Ozzy on his own didn't want to go tumbling down rabbit holes. That might be the secret tunnel used by the Duke's guards, smugglers, the local thief's guild, or who knew what else. A better idea was to swing by the Red Banner barracks and leave a message for Captain Bernice. He was just finishing up his lists three hours later when Daria, Polina, and their husbands-to-be strolled into the shop bringing him a second breakfast.

"Good timing. While I put some chow in me, look at these jobs and ask questions or tell me anything that I'm missing." They went over the jobs and immediately had questions, zeroing in on small details he'd missed. All four had worked all their lives in the restaurant business and a lot of the things he needed were similar. Ozzy was surprised about some of the things he was ignorant of. He'd asked for a delivery of ten barrels of salt. Polina knew of ten different types of salt. In Sedgewick, he used whatever he could get from the merchants and now knew he'd been paying too much. Preserving meat for the Legion could use salt from the mines south of the capital, instead of the more expensive sea salt made from dehydration. For his bacon, he should be using Uncle Walt's Curing Salt. Daria told him she could order it for him. Her father swore by it and used it to cure their hams, bacon, and pastrami. By the time breakfast ended, the jobs list was much longer and more detailed.

"Alright, that's done. Let's head over to the Butcher's Guild and get you all registered. I thought about it, and I don't see why we shouldn't get all four of you signed up. That gives more flexibility for covering the shop, and there's no reason not to learn the skills and gain the experience." Daria and Polina were all in favor of this idea. Their boyfriends wisely agreed. Both of them had mothers who were adept with large knives and could butcher a hog as well as any man.

Ozzy strode into the Wolfsburg Butcher's guild seeing several apprentices being instructed in the fine art of dismembering a carcass by the old Guildmaster, Abelard. He paused when he saw Ozzy walk in and turned to his students. "If you want an example of what a life of Butchery can get you, you only have to look at this man. I'm old and weak now, but he's a good example of what I looked like in my youth. Care to show these young sprouts how it's done?"

Ozzy smiled, "Sure, my crew needs some lessons as well."

He pulled out his flensing hatchets and showed them to the group. "I prefer a heavy cleaver to get the job done. I'm usually dealing with Sedge Beasts which are roughly three times bigger than the cows you deal with and a lot tougher. And over in Gadobhra, we have to deal with herds of Hellpigs, Firesheep, and Armored Dillos. Some of those critters have tough hides and need a sharp, heavy blade to get the job done. These are too big for any of you now, but when you get your strength up, you'll be able to cut and chop with heavier cleavers than what Master Abelard is using to teach you. I work hard and fast, with a large quota of slaughtering to get done each day. There will be days when you can take your time, cutting up the meat so it looks pretty. But sometimes you just need quantity, like filling an order of salted meat for the Legion. As an old butcher once said: Quantity has a Quality all its own."

"The technique is simple. Just grab the carcass by a horn or hoof and toss it up on the stump. Or a fancy table like you folk have here. I like stumps, they take the wear and tear better. Next, it's four quick chops to take off the legs at the knee and then the head. You might want to use the bone saw at first, but the work will go cleaner and faster with cleavers as you get stronger. Once that's done and the guts are dumped, make the slits in the hide that let you peel it off. Now you've got a carcass you can clean up and get ready for the smoker, or cut it down further for the butcher shop. Pay attention to how I do things, there's a rhythm you can fall into."

Blood and bone chips flew as Ozzy finished one carcass, then walked to the pen, and punched two cows, killing them instantly. He threw them on his shoulders and dumped each to a table, then went back and punched two more. With four cows ready to cut up, he went from one to the next as fast as he could, reducing them to cleaned carcasses in a matter of minutes. His cuts were clean and precise, and never took more than one chop or slash. By the time he was done, he was covered in gore. Abelard applauded and after a moment, the astonished youngsters did as well. They were used to the blood and gore, but this was another level entirely.

The Guildmaster yelled at them, "Alright, grab your cleavers and knives, and finish the job. I want these reduced to roasts, steaks, and cutlets, then the rest can go to sausage. Try not to get your fingers mixed in with the sausage meat. Bad for the texture."

He turned to Ozzy, "Thank you for that demonstration. It's good for them to see what they can become. Do you need to clean up? There is a basin in the back."

"No need. I have that covered. Handy little cantrip an angel taught me." He used the Cleanse cantrip twice, leaving his apron stained but clean, and the rest of him minty-fresh.

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Abelard nodded slowly, "Yes, very useful." He filed away the information that the Butcher from Sedgewick was light aligned, a surprising fact. "What can I do for you today? I see that you are repairing your building and getting ready to open. I heartily approve of having more butchers here in the square." More business was good for everyone and good for the Guild.

"More butchers is part of why I'm here. I want to register these four young people. You probably know them and their parents already. I'm paying their guild fees and will be handling part of their instruction in Sedgewick and Gadobhra to bring them up to speed."

"I do indeed know all of them. I'm happy to see them joining us. There is only the matter of the small fee to register them as your apprentices and your signature vouching for them. Send them to me when they are ready to take their journeyman's test."

Ozzy got that taken care of and then went to his next purpose for being here. "Gadobhra is ready for a higher level Butcher's Guild. What do I have to do to make that happen? Guild Master Gristle seemed to think you could help."

Abelard paused for a moment, thinking of where the records for the Butcher Guild of Gadobhra would be, then brought down a large, leather-bound book. "I can certainly help, but let us see what it says about your Guild in the old records." He turned the old vellum pages one by one, finally finding the entry for Gadobhra and showing it to Ozzy. All the pages were smeared with blood, torn out, or blackened by fire. "It seems that at one point, your guild was unofficially blacklisted and all records removed. Based on the history of the Butcher's Brigade, I can guess when. I suggest we start over. You already paid the back dues for Gadobhra, so I can hardly turn you away." He pulled his cleaver and carefully removed the old pages, then took new sheets of vellum from a drawer. "It's about time this old tome was reviewed and rebound. Stavros kept claiming he was going to do it, but then, he made many promises that went unfulfilled."

Ozzy gave him the list of people in Sedgewick and the Hamlets who had trained as butchers and paid their Guild dues in Gadobhra. At the top of the list were Billy and Layla. He was happy with Ben's mania for lists and paperwork. The Courier had insisted he take all the information when he went to visit this Guild. "My, even the Baron and Baroness get their hands bloody? That's wonderful! Nothing like swinging a cleaver to give a person the right perspective. You certainly have enough Butchers for a Level 2 Butchers Guild, even a Level 3 Guild. How large is your building?"

Ozzy grimaced, "Not large enough. It was rebuilt with the stones from an old temple and Artemis blessed it, but truthfully, it needs work. I can get it up to snuff for a Level 2 guild, I've been promised that much from the Baron. Then I can see if he'll toss in some building points to move it higher. Let's look at level 2 for now."

Abelard nodded, "As you will." He was intrigued by the idea that Ozzy could request building points from his Baron. That was unthinkable in Wolfsburg. Building points were scarce and held tightly for emergencies. "What benefits does your guild offer now?"

Ozzy showed him the list.

Basic Butchering Skills (1 point each)

Chop Bone:The art of shearing through bone and not leaving splinters in the meat. (known)

Hack Meat: The art of turning a carcass into hunks of meat.

Slaughter:Enhanced damage on restrained beasts.

Hack Undead: Teach dead meat that it shouldn't still be moving around by reducing it to small pieces.

Precise Cuts:Essential for better butchering and even cooking of pork chops.

Anatomy of a monster:Essential for those who wish to dismember monsters. Mixing up the liver with the poison glands is never good.

Choice Cuts: How to remove glands, organs, and other parts of creatures used in alchemy and other magical arts, or how to find the tastiest bit of flesh for your own dinner.

Combat skills: (3 points each) Cleaver, Huge knife, Meat Hook, Hammer

Armored Apron: Physical Damage Reduction (10) Your butcher’s apron is made from the heavy leather of a beast you slew and tanned. It bestows 10 points of physical mitigation. Further levels of this perk may offer increased protection from a variety of sources.

Chain Drag (5): Cast out a meat hook on a chain to grab the carcass and pull it towards you. Further levels of this skill may offer benefits in combat.

Flensing (5): Gain knowledge of how to peel even the daintiest of skins off of a creature without damaging the fine leather. Further levels of this skill will allow this to be done to living creatures and apply to the Torturer skill

De-boning (5): Learn to remove bones without disturbing the meat. Further levels of this skill will apply to the Torturer skill.

Butcher Shop Basics: (5) The mundane job of running a normal butcher shop from day to day.

Enhanced Reputation: The friendly neighborhood butcher is respected in his community. (5) Always smiling and happy. Advisor to housewives and best friend to every stray dog.

Everything is Sausage: (5) How to use extra spice and special grinding to turn any meat into sausage. Turn useless gristle into extra money in your pocket. Extra helpful when you need to make something (or someone) disappear.

Fresh Meat!: (5) (cantrip) Why let that lovely flavor fade away? Learn this cantrip that lets you keep meat fresh from one sunrise to another.

Lesser Minion (10): Summon a nearby minion to slave for you for an hour, or until someone else steals it away. Higher levels of this spell allow for higher-level minions or a larger number at one time.

Double-Fake Meat (5): Don't miss out on sales! Learn to make convincing Fake Meat products using real meat! The vegetable lovers will never know.

Smoking (5): Ruin good meat by smoking and overcooking it.

Abelard scratched his head. "That's quite the interesting list. I'd heard the old guilds took things much more seriously, and Gadobhra especially, but this is beyond what I imagined. Oh, we have all the basics and skills like precise cuts, but nothing like Anatomy of a Monster, Chain Drag, or Lesser Minion. And Hack Undead looks very useful. You never know when the next zombie outbreak is going to happen. I think Guild Master Gristle and I need to talk. I will take our skill book with me and visit him, with your approval. I would gladly trade our Level 2 abilities to pick up what we don't have here. I can offer Armored Apron 2, Meat Sculpting, Enhanced Reputation 2, and Knife Sharpening. We can work to advance your Guild Hall to Level 2 and then Level 3, if possible. But..."

He looked around the room and lowered his voice. "Let's keep this quiet for now. There are still some people upset with how you acquired your building, and the Mage's Guild has some agenda for dealing with your Baron. None of my business, I just cut meat."

Ozzy nodded. "I understand. No sense in involving other people. Too many hands in the sausage means someone is losing fingers."

Abelard nodded, "Just what I tell all of my apprentices. Look for me at the end of the week."